Chapter 56: Fourth World (15)
Translated by Shiya of Exiled Rebels Scanlations
Xie Yan had also thought over and over about when and how to confess his feelings to Bai Duan, and finally he decided to leave it after he had successfully lost weight and became famous. On one hand, it could leave Bai Duan a better memory. On the other hand, it was to make things more natural, having the original slowly change his self abasement and cowardly character, having the confession as a representation of him regaining his self-confidence and obtaining a new life.
However, Xie Yan was still trying to lose weight and striving for his career right now. But Bai Duan was unable to bear it and had taken the lead in confessing, he even used such a tough and irrefusable tone. Although this was totally different from Xie Yan’s plan, and even though he was surprised, he would never miss this opportunity.
He had to admit, the feeling of being actively pursued by his dear lover was just so wonderful. Even Xie Yan was a little aloof and felt that his body was not responding. Oh, maybe he should also thank the original for his excessive inferiority and introversion. After all, this forced his always shy, little lover to take the initiative for the first time, allowing him to enjoy being pursued for once.
Even though he was so happy that he wanted to scream, Xie Yan’s expression still feigned hesitance, “You… Why do you like me?”
Who knew what they would have to face in the next world? Xie Yan was going to milk as much sweet-nothings from his lover as possible from this world.
Bai Duan naturally fulfilled his wishes.
Poor Bai Duan had no idea that his ‘fidgeting’ lover was feeling as calm as ever inside, Bai Duan just thought Xie Yan felt inferior and as such didn’t believe his confession.
Bai Duan raised his own head up and kissed Xie Yan’s lips. Then he stood up on his toes, and tried to stretch his arms out around Xie Yan’s shoulders. Bai Duan’s movements seemed to be showing intimacy and appeasement, his voice was full of emotions, “I like many things about you, and I can’t say all of it in just one day. You may not believe it, but even before I knew those things about you, I already had special feelings for you. Before that, I never had a similar impulse for anyone.”
Xie Yan froze up, “Since when?”
“Since the first time you brought me food and said that you wanted to play games with me.” On this subject, Bai Duan remembered deeply. “At that time, I was really shocked. After all, we haven’t known each other for more than a day and we didn’t say a word to each other. I thought maybe I was just overreacting, but as I got along with you more, I became more and more sure about it. My heart had marked you way earlier than my brain did, and it only got excited or worried when it was about you alone.”
After a short pause, Bai Duan blinked continued, “I think this must be fate. We are destined to be together. Ignoring our appearances and even ignoring our individual characters, I felt bound to you at first sight. Maybe it’s a little strange to say, but I really don’t care about any aspect of you. I don’t care about whether you are good-looking, rich, talented or capable. Is this so-called… I just love your soul? As early as before you started working, I already thought that I would be happy for you if you had a job. However, if you are not willing to go out, work or contact other people, it doesn’t matter either. I can support you, take care of you, I will do everything to let you live without worry.”
Xie Yan was shocked by Bai Duan’s words and froze on the spot. This was not an act, but he was just too happy, hence, making him freeze in confusion.
He didn’t expect that he would hear such hot, bold, straightforward and beautiful words from his usually inarticulate, shy and introverted lover’s mouth. For a while, he couldn’t organize the words and sentences to reply Bai Duan. He just uttered a few incoherent words that wouldn’t suffice as an answer, then he held Bai Duan tightly.
Xie Yan loved him. He loved him so much that he didn’t know how to express it. For every world they went through, Xie Yan found himself liking him a little more than the last. Xie Yan felt that his love for Bai Duan was almost endless.
He once thought that if he lost Bai Duan, he would be extremely sad and lost, but he would eventually cheer up and be his old self again. He would bid Bai Duan farewell rationally, watch him move on to a new life and wish him a better life.
But now, Xie Yan had no such confidence.
If he lost Bai Duan, Xie Yan did not know what he would do. Maybe he would destroy himself, the world, or even drag Bai Duan down to hell with him.
Don’t say something like ‘if you love him, you will learn to let go’. Xie Yan had always been a selfish person. He could say farewell to his lover with a smile, only because his reason could still restrain his feelings. Once those feelings got deeper and thicker though, the only choice was to never let go. Either they live together, or they die together; either they live together in a happy paradise, or they sink together into a painful hell. In other words, he couldn’t live in a world without Bai Duan, and he wouldn’t allow Bai Duan to leave his control, even if the other hated him for it, resented him and fought him.
Tightly embracing Bai Duan, the corner of Xie Yan’s eyes were slightly reddened. Bai Duan, who knew nothing about his lover’s dangerous thoughts, was full of pity as he caressed Xie Yan’s gently quivering back. Bai Duan gave him the greatest warmth and tolerance, “I want to be with you for a lifetime, how about you?”
“I… Too,” Xie Yan tried to calm his voice and suppressed his surging emotions, but unfortunately, his attempt didn’t seem so successful.
The game was always known for its steadiness. No matter how many people were online together, it would not lag. However, there was a sudden twist in the world. Bai Duan only heard signal interference in his ears. Then his vision suddenly turned black and he found himself bouncing out of the game and back to the login interface.
On the login interface, there was a very conspicuous line, “The program has been interfered by unknown factors. In order to ensure the safety of players, the company decided to suspend the game, and conduct an urgent check. We sincerely ask for all players’ understanding.”
Bai Duan frowned and was very dissatisfied with this. He had just finished his confession and got a good response. He didn’t say enough to Xie Yan yet, he only finished half of the major things he needed to do. This feeling was so unpleasant!
Angrily, he pushed open the game cockpit and sat up. Bai Duan opened his optical computer and sent a communication request to Xie Yan. Soon he saw Xie Yan’s chubby face.
Although the face was very different from the handsome one in the game, the more Bai Duan looked at it, the more he liked it. As soon as he wanted to say something, he heard a sharp ring coming from the other side.
“What’s the matter?” Bai Duan pursed his lips together.
“…Maybe there’s something wrong with the game. We need to find out why,” Xie Yan’s eyes drooped down, and his tone was somewhat reluctant. “After all, I live in the workers’ dormitory now, which is relatively close.”
“… That’s unavoidable then,” Bai Duan sighed. “Work is more important. Go to work first.” Bai Duan gave a faint smile, his eyes were smiling tenderly as well, “Anyway, we have a lot of time.”
“…Umm,” Xie Yan answered softly, then he added another sentence in a firm voice, “I am very happy. Although I am not worthy of you now, I will make you proud of me one day.”
“You are my pride already now,” Bai Duan coughed gently, then stooped down and kissed the optical computer screen. “I don’t need you to be excellent, I just want you to like me all the time and stay by my side.”
After that, he looked at the stunned Xie Yan on the screen, then Bai Duan quickly hung up the communication. He raised his hand to cover his face, and his white cheeks also quickly turned red, so did his ears and neck, even his whole body was red.
Bai Duan was embarrassed, but at the same time very happy. Bai Duan stood up from the gaming cockpit, he didn’t know how to calm down. After wandering around the room for a long time, he finally threw himself on the bed and wrapped himself in a quilt blanket.
Last night, in order to think about how to confess to Xie Yan, he tossed and turned all night. Bai Duan even got up in the middle of the night to search for love stories, and finally managed to piece together the words that could express his mind.
The shameful words that Bai Duan thought he could never say, but when he really faced Xie Yan, he found that they didn’t seem too difficult — because he really liked Xie Yan, he wanted to make him happy and let him understand his feelings.
Xie Yan dared not say love back due to his self abasement and timidity, but it didn’t matter, because Bai Duan would lead him, guide him, and slowly wait for him to open up his heart.
Although Bai Duan himself did not have the eloquence, he still knew that language and action are indispensable in love. He was not around Xie Yan now, so it was hard to express his thoughts through actions. So, in order to stop Xie Yan from thinking about someone else, he must not be stingy with his words. He must make Xie Yan know how much he loved him and help Xie Yan build up confidence — confidence in himself, confidence in Bai Duan and their love which may be incomprehensible to others.
Bai Duan popped his head out of the blanket, then he went to sit on the bed with his legs crossed. He opened his optical computer, and continued to read love stories. On the other side, Xie Yan recovered from another blow from Bai Duan just now, he was annoyed and happy at the same time as he closed his optical computer.
Just now, his mood fluctuated in the game too much, his mental power was out of control, which directly affected the whole game. The system judged the energy surge as a dangerous situation and forcibly shut the game down. On this, Xie Yan really wanted to punch himself. If he could have just held back, he would have surely received even more sweet words from Bai Duan. Maybe he would have even be able to hold his lover in his arms and do something intimate.
Hmn, didn’t the game prohibit players from having ‘in-depth’ contact more than kissing? That’s really not humane. It’s clearly a game with an 18 year old restriction, right? Or should he take a vacation now, and fly back to meet Bai Duan? Xie Yan’s thoughts came to an abrupt halt as he looked down at his bulging belly in silence, and finally dismissed the tempting idea.
With a sigh, Xie Yan stood up and opened the door. He hurried to the office with his colleagues who all had faces full of anxiety and confusion. Xie Yan quickly jumped into the search for the cause.
Hmn, as for the culprit, he didn’t know. He was just an ordinary player. ╮(╯▽╰)╭