Today may be our one year anniversary as a group, and we will be celebrating later with a lot of special releases, but I wanted to share something with everyone first.
I had the pleasure of getting an email from a fan this last week that really spoke to me. She wrote to us to encourage US because she had seen all the stuff we went through on our Tumblr. After we shut down the Discord, she wanted to let us know how much we meant to her.
As I said before, these fans are the ones that keep us going. However, within our emails back and forth, there was a message that I wanted to let everyone know of.
This was my statement to her, and just like us, I know there are many others out there that need the same encouragement.
Thank you for the love. I’m going to get a little personal, so bare with me.
Addis here, by the way. Most of us within the group battle depression and anxiety.
There are a lot of times where I have thought that maybe, just maybe, no one would care if I just didn’t exist anymore.
When I was 14, I tried killing myself for the first time because I felt like I didn’t fit in anywhere and that no one would care if I was gone. Luckily, my sister caught me before I swallowed the handful of pills I had in my hand. I don’t know how long I stared at those pills in my palm before I finally decided just to take them.
After that moment, when my sister caught me, I was able to see exactly who cared about me and who didn’t. It’s sad to say it was an eye opener even though I was only 14.
The second time was when I was 16 and no one stopped me then. I apparently took too little and just had a major stomach ache for days. >.<
During those years after I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, I was told to try to find an outlet that would help with calming my nerves and sorting out everything in my head. (I tend to think too much and micromanage everything.)
One of the outlets I found was reading, and of course, I went back to the manga I had stopped paying attention to. Reading, and seeing another world through the eyes of someone else’s imagination was, to me, something that created wonder and a calming atmosphere. I would find myself binge reading manga and novels to the point that I could sit in the same spot for almost 8 hours without moving. (Later found out that it wasn’t actually a good thing, but hey, it kept me sane. XD)
I managed to bring my depression under control with therapists, medication, reading and making that one friend in life who doesn’t care whether I’m crazy or not. She’s happy with who I am.
I’m not saying any of this to make you feel bad for me or for yourself, but I AM saying this to let you know, you are not alone. There is always someone out there that will reach out a hand to you even when you feel your feet sinking in the sand.
I know how hard both anxiety and depression are to control. Even though I’m 25, I still have my moments where everything gets to me and I just don’t even want to get out of bed.
But, when I was 24, I made a leap of faith and asked to join a new scan group to help with cleaning. I was accepted and, after finding out how much I loved it, I created Exiled Rebels.
Somehow, I’m not even sure how, I gained so many volunteers who wanted to help me start out. First we were only five and then, now, a year later, we’ve become a massive thirty five with two separate sections of translators.
Each and everyone of the girls (and guys) within my group have taught me something. Even when we are running behind schedule, even when our real lives are so hectic we don’t even want to talk, there is something I tell all of them.
Don’t give up.
Giving up is an ending. It’s you admitting defeat, not to just what you’re working on, but you’re giving up on yourself. So please, and this comes from my heart, don’t give up. Start with baby steps to get whatever you may be working on started again.
I know it sounds lame, but each step forward is a step toward a goal. No matter what that goal may be, create one. Maybe have one for the first month of something really easy and increase it until you can get back up on your feet (figuratively and literally).
I see your (and everyone else’s) comments everywhere and I read each and every one of them.
Tumblr was closed down because it was bringing back my anxiety and depression. Now, our discord as well is being shut down for the same reason.
To my group, I am the backbone, the foundation, and if I crumbled, so would the entire group. I do not want that, so I am distancing myself from the negativity of those two worlds.
Thank you so much for the love and support, it has been noticed.
Don’t give up, keep fighting.