Encouragement

Today may be our one year anniversary as a group, and we will be celebrating later with a lot of special releases, but I wanted to share something with everyone first.

I had the pleasure of getting an email from a fan this last week that really spoke to me. She wrote to us to encourage US because she had seen all the stuff we went through on our Tumblr. After we shut down the Discord, she wanted to let us know how much we meant to her.

As I said before, these fans are the ones that keep us going. However, within our emails back and forth, there was a message that I wanted to let everyone know of.

This was my statement to her, and just like us, I know there are many others out there that need the same encouragement.

~~~~

Thank you for the love. I’m going to get a little personal, so bare with me.

Addis here, by the way. Most of us within the group battle depression and anxiety.

There are a lot of times where I have thought that maybe, just maybe, no one would care if I just didn’t exist anymore.

When I was 14, I tried killing myself for the first time because I felt like I didn’t fit in anywhere and that no one would care if I was gone. Luckily, my sister caught me before I swallowed the handful of pills I had in my hand. I don’t know how long I stared at those pills in my palm before I finally decided just to take them.

After that moment, when my sister caught me, I was able to see exactly who cared about me and who didn’t. It’s sad to say it was an eye opener even though I was only 14.

The second time was when I was 16 and no one stopped me then. I apparently took too little and just had a major stomach ache for days. >.<

During those years after I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, I was told to try to find an outlet that would help with calming my nerves and sorting out everything in my head. (I tend to think too much and micromanage everything.)

One of the outlets I found was reading, and of course, I went back to the manga I had stopped paying attention to. Reading, and seeing another world through the eyes of someone else’s imagination was, to me, something that created wonder and a calming atmosphere. I would find myself binge reading manga and novels to the point that I could sit in the same spot for almost 8 hours without moving. (Later found out that it wasn’t actually a good thing, but hey, it kept me sane. XD)

I managed to bring my depression under control with therapists, medication, reading and making that one friend in life who doesn’t care whether I’m crazy or not. She’s happy with who I am.

I’m not saying any of this to make you feel bad for me or for yourself, but I AM saying this to let you know, you are not alone. There is always someone out there that will reach out a hand to you even when you feel your feet sinking in the sand.

I know how hard both anxiety and depression are to control. Even though I’m 25, I still have my moments where everything gets to me and I just don’t even want to get out of bed.

But, when I was 24, I made a leap of faith and asked to join a new scan group to help with cleaning. I was accepted and, after finding out how much I loved it, I created Exiled Rebels.

Somehow, I’m not even sure how, I gained so many volunteers who wanted to help me start out. First we were only five and then, now, a year later, we’ve become a massive thirty five with two separate sections of translators.

Each and everyone of the girls (and guys) within my group have taught me something. Even when we are running behind schedule, even when our real lives are so hectic we don’t even want to talk, there is something I tell all of them.

Don’t give up.

Giving up is an ending. It’s you admitting defeat, not to just what you’re working on, but you’re giving up on yourself. So please, and this comes from my heart, don’t give up. Start with baby steps to get whatever you may be working on started again.

I know it sounds lame, but each step forward is a step toward a goal. No matter what that goal may be, create one. Maybe have one for the first month of something really easy and increase it until you can get back up on your feet (figuratively and literally).

I see your (and everyone else’s) comments everywhere and I read each and every one of them.

Tumblr was closed down because it was bringing back my anxiety and depression. Now, our discord as well is being shut down for the same reason.

To my group, I am the backbone, the foundation, and if I crumbled, so would the entire group. I do not want that, so I am distancing myself from the negativity of those two worlds.

Thank you so much for the love and support, it has been noticed.

Don’t give up, keep fighting.

Love,
Addis

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98 thoughts on “Encouragement

  1. Thank you Addis for having the courage to share such personal story and for such encouraging words, I would give you a huge hug if I could!
    Thank you so much for being here, and gifting us readers not only so many great projects and so much happiness, but also your for dedication, time, and efforts into expanding this site and a community where we can enjoy one of our greatest joys. I feel so grateful that this site was created and I feel even more so that you and everyone that makes this site and the works possible deserve the greatest happiness for giving us readers so much.
    Happy Anniversary! I look forward to celebrating all the future anniversaries to come!

  2. You guys are awesome! I never once got tired saying it. Maybe for some people, our love with this kind of thing was horrible and sinful, but if it prevents us from committing something even more horrible then it’s good!
    For me, yaoi manga n anime saved me from depression too and I’m grateful I found another thing to distract me from darkness.
    Addis, there will always people try to bring you down, but yeah I agree, the moment you gave up, you lose!
    Some will say that ‘you guys are horrible! You all cant receive any criticism’,, well, we know which criticism that means to raise us up and which one to bring us down. We are no fool 😄😄
    so once again, you guys are awesome!

  3. I’ve got to say somethings… I really love what you (Addis) and the rest of the Exiled Rebels do. It gives me (and I am sure a lot of people) something extra special to look foward in the days when everything is just a repetitive routine,following what you did yesterday and the day before that. You helping yourself, helps me… Helps Us. So I just gotta say I appreciate every update you and your group gives me… Give Us.
    Thank You!!😣 For everything.

  4. Hey…Addis.. You find relieve in your mangas and novels while I find it in this spot here in ExR blog 😊😍😍 yeah.. You girls & guys are my medicine. My escape by the end of the day.
    Thank you for not giving up. Please keep strong and moving on. You gurls are great..love you all.
    Btw, Addis, if my backbone is tired, I may try pilates or rolling on fluffy bed all day or hit a spa. So maybe you should do the same. Hehe…got to enjoy being alive sometimes. You deserve it. And thank you for opening up to us. Your life story is inspiring and motivating me.

  5. The daily dose of LMW, a surprise update of the other novels, the manga chapters (and the chat pictures at the end) transform my shitty days into decent and even good ones. I go to sleep with a smile and not depressed. Thank you very much to you and the whole group for that!

  6. Thank you for sharing everything in that heartbreaking post, and I am so glad you found the way to deal with your anxiety and depression. The most important thing is to want to get better, to get out of the darkness, and the fact that your cure is bringing so much joy to other people is a wonderful thing. I hope that all those people who badmouthed you will realise the power of love, kindness and friendship, and how good it it is when you make someone feels better. Happy anniversary ♥

  7. I usually don’t comment too much, just a silent reader but I keep tabs on all the updates and notes! I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for making it possible for us readers to connect with such great people on a personal level without even knowing who you are. Honestly, you dont have to translate any of these novels but you choose to share such great writings to us readers. So thank you, I care! Keep fighting and likewise, don’t give up!

  8. I hurt my right hand so it’s a bit awkward to type today, but I wanted to say thank you so much! For your bravery and kindness, and for building this lovely community! For being fighters and helping us all fight. :3 I’ve felt empowered so much now because of you. May this anniversary be very awesome and happy for you guys! *sends lots of hugs and snacks (mostly pizza)* 😀 <3

  9. Thank you for sharing with us about all your personal struggles… and I’m glad that everything is turning out all right! Thank you to you and this amazing team for offering all that you do. Take care ^^

  10. Hi! Happy aniversary!
    I honestly want to add +1 to many comments. Everything i wish to convey to you seems to be already said. And that’s amazing!
    Thank you for everything! Really. This group is like a ray of sunlight in a gloomy sky. Please keep up the good work!
    And Addis my father used to say that “There is only one YOU. Be it in the past, present or future. So take care of yourself. You are allowed to fall ν times, but you must stand up ν+1. You have nothing to lose at the bottom only to win”.
    It saved me through my fight with depression.
    Thanks for everything!!
    From a silent(*2) reader

  11. Hi Addis (and ExR staff). Thank you for sharing this post. I’m pretty introvert and the thought of reaching….out well it causes me a bit of anxiety. But I just wanted to say I really appreciate all the hard work and wonderful releases you all do. Your projects have really brought quite a bit of joy into my life.

  12. Happy Anniversary …
    Thank You for the long year patience…
    Thank You for your hard works
    Thank You for your updates..
    Thank You for scanlating such wonderful stories for us to read..

    Long live Exiled Rebels..

  13. Happy anniversary 🤗 congratulations & thank you for sharing this bits coz yeah, to tell the truth ,this grp is sorta my escape. When its all shit, I just said to myself lets just read a gud chapter from here & it help…. A lot. So thank you for holding on & not givin up. Thank you ❤

  14. I think people like you are amazing and dont let the negativity from strangers hurt you. Reading manga is my escape too, yaoi is the one thing that makes me happy. I once made a VF blanket from a shutterfly promo just cuz it made me happy lol. Too bad its all linty now. But I’m glad you found something that makes you happy and have those who care. And thank you for finding this group, spreading the love that is reaching masses, whether it is your team or audience like me. <3 stay strong!

  15. Happy 1st Anniversary!!
    Thank You for all your hard works that you have done for us <3
    Thank you for sharing your story, Addis
    it also encourage me so much 🙂

  16. Thank you to Addis for sharing such a personal story. I’m not good at commenting when it’s about serious things so I don’t always do it. I’m awkwardly shy and every time I can’t help but to worry afterwards that I maybe said something insensitive. I’m glad that you feel better, have found people who gets you and that you feel happy at your place in EXR. It’s understandable that you closed down tumblr if it was toxic and made you feel depressed. For a couple of years now I’ve battled on/off with depression and anxiety. So when life becomes too stressful, then before getting back out there I might need to retreat, lay low and recharge first if that makes sense? So I often try if possible, to stay away from what or who that makes me feel miserable. I’ve always loved reading and it have definitely helped me get through many sad times in life. BL is amazing but also healing. So I’m always extremely grateful for everything you guys and every other scanlator do for us fans and readers who can’t read the stories in the original language.

  17. Reading this few days after my graduation. I dont know I need this until I read it. Thankyou so much for your encouragement. It means a lot for me. I hope thing goes well for both of us 🙂 You’ve worked hard and You’re an awesome person.

  18. Thank you.
    I’m not eloquent, so,I’ll just say that many times books have kept me going. Just the fear that I’ll never be able to read the next chapter, book, or sequel makes me get up in the morning.
    So arigato & gambatte. 😏

  19. Happy Anniversary!
    ……I’m not the type of person who give encouragement….becuz’ I don’t know what to say. Loll.
    ( Hesitate a bit to type something xD )
    Actually I’m not sure whether I should comment something or not becuz’ there already a lot people who comment all the thing that I want to say but I think I should just comment.
    At least you guys think like ‘Ohhhhhhh 10000000000000000000000000000000000+ people are care about us!’ something like that. (*slam my face to the table* wth am I saying….)
    I think that will encourage(?) you guys to never give up.
    ….That’s all. (Sorry, I don’t know how to make a closing… 0w0);;; )

  20. It may be nothing, but I am really happy I stumbled upon your Tumblr at the beginning of december. with your passion and irony you all rekindled my love for mangas.
    thank you all very, very much

  21. happy anniversary & thank you for all your hard work. lets just hope that the negativity from the other places doesn’t move here. I hope you guys continue for a long long time.

  22. Thank you for sharing your story and thoughts on such a difficult topic. It takes great courage to open up and share your story which I’m sure will have a ripple effect in helping many others.
    Thank you for being the backbone of this wonderful escalation group. I want to thank you and every member of this group for commitment, time and love in bringing BL stories and manga to the English fans! I hope the Exiled Rebels group and website will continue to thrive in a positive and understanding environment. Here’s to many more anniversaries to come!

  23. Happy anniversary! Thank you for the hard work you have gone through in one year of making the ExR group. You and your staff are all awesome and hard working people, making fans all over the world happy with your translation. Take one step time at a time. Don’t be discourage over negative comment you read. Stay strong because only you can make yourself happy. I really appreciate your courage to write down a bit of your life story here. 🙂

  24. This site is a monument to the human spirit. ExR, you guys are amazing. To gather and inspire this huge network of support is, in itself, a major accomplishment. You should all be proud of yourselves of everything you’ve built so far. It will always be exist in the minds and hearts of your readers, so stand tall

  25. I’m really happy to read your works every time and I thank you very much for creating this site to continue and that I can be one of those who are allowed to be here!!

  26. Thank you for your hard work translating all these novels and manga. Thanks also for the message in this post…And of course, Happy Anniversary to you all!!! 😙😙😙

  27. i know i had similar experience but it happened recently for me when i was 19 now i am 24 reading is the only thing now where i smile like before whenever i feel like doing something extreme i prepared a chart on my wall i write starting date of the feeling then make a quest kinda thing like if within 30 days i will start counting numbers for everytime i feel like dying so if reach 100 i will do it since i forget the number i start from 1 again n it never reaches hundred thats how i am extending my life since i found nobody cares about me i am trying to live for myself

  28. Thank you for this. Tgis made me think about my family, my parents and my little sister, and my best friend. This you for writing this.

  29. Thank you for sharing your work with us and for continuing to do so despite the disheartening stuff that you face, not only in real life, but also in the platforms that you previously used. Your releases are doses of happiness that people look forward to at the end of a long day. Again, thank you so much to all the members! Stay strong and take care always!

  30. thank you so much for your hard work, you have no idea how much I appreciate you guys, I had a very hard time last year and your scans brought me so much happiness

  31. Thank you, I suffer from depression, it’s been years already, and reading helps me going in a happy space every day 🙂

  32. Love you guys so much!!! Know that not only have you guys helped me with so much (from screenshot chats to original works to scanlating mangas). Your words are an actual lift to somebody who suffers the same fate. I stay away from sm as much as possible as well. It’s never a good place to stay. So whatever keeps you healthy, keep them/those close. Whatever gives you cancer, discard them. You guys don’t need garbage. Keep safe and stay golden guys!!!! 🙂🙂🙂

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