Prologue

The room wasn’t dim, so I could clearly see the streaks of knife marks he drew on my body. The skin surrounding the scars was split on both sides, revealing the tender inner muscles, with miniscule beads of blood seeping through, embellishing the pale white skin. He said, this kind of scene is so beautiful he can’t control himself.

But I think he’s never had self control over my body, the bruising on my face and body clearly shows the amount of tyrannical abuse I’ve beared…

I can’t escape. There’s no reason to why I can’t. Only because a year ago, he tore apart my achilles tendon, taking away my ability to run and walk. The me now, can only slowly walk for a very short distance. Inside this room, reserved for the mafia boss of the highest rank in the mafia headquarters, no one can save me. I…can’t save him either….

He’s sick, with an incurable sickness, because in his eyes, love equals violence, which equals hurt.

“You’re so beautiful, YunSheng,” he says.
He then opens up my legs, smiling as he feels the imprinted words “Ye CanSheng [1]” on the inner parts of my thigh. He looks into my eyes with satisfaction and says, “You are my item.” After that, he just enters me as if it’s the most obvious thing to do.

At the same time, sharp canine teeth bite into my shoulder, I smell the odour of fresh blood, I hear the sound of blood flowing and skin splitting…. I tell myself, that that is his way of expressing love. The thing in front of my eyes is shaking, this is a room I can’t escape from. It’s surprisingly big, astonishingly gorgeous, frighteningly empty….

“Wu [2]….”

How long have I been locked in here? It’s probably been a very long time. I’ve long forgotten the specifics…..

“YunSheng, YunSheng…..”

He presses himself into me, excitingly calling my name, while the knife in his hand once again cuts into my already broken body, leaving trails of blood. He likes it like this, likes to abuse my body, to leave his marks on my body….

Just like how the seal he personally branded on my leg, is his name: Ye CanSheng.

“I’m here.” I gently hug his head of black hair, and gently say my words in a hoarse and ugly voice. It’s been too long since I’ve talked.

“I’ve destroyed you….” he says.

“I know.”

I know, he’s the one who destroyed my body which couldn’t be deemed beautiful originally. He’s the one who destroyed my life that wasn’t brilliant to begin with.

If I hadn’t picked you up from the garbage heap back then. If I hadn’t discovered the countless scars on your body back then. If I hadn’t said those kinds of words back then. If I had let you pick up that call back then, would none of this have happened?

Our encounter is too dramatic, our ending is too dark, CanSheng, CanSheng…..

Tears fall from my eyes, onto the black bed sheets, creating pools and pools of water.

CanSheng…

In the end, I can’t save you….

If that’s the case, then let us bear this sickly tyrannical love together. It’s okay. If it’s destroyed, then destroyed it shall be. I don’t feel distressed.

My name is Fang YunSheng, his name is Ye CanSheng. Our love is sick and tyrannical, it’s incomprehensible to the world.

T/N

[1] 叶残生 So just to make things clear, in Chinese, the last name is said first followed by the first name. So in this case, ‘Ye’ is the last name and ‘CanSheng’ is the first name. In translation, the rules are generally ‘when in rome, do as the romans do’, so when translating names into English, it should become CanSheng Ye. However, I’ve decided to keep it the original way for two main reasons. Firstly, since it’s a seal, I’ve kept the order of how the name actually appears as the seal. And secondly, to preserve the ways of communication between the characters, so I’ll be following the order they originally call each other. To make it more clear, the last name (one character) will be separated from the first name (in this case two characters joined together). This format will be consistent throughout.

[2] 唔 This word in this context is just a sound effect, which when directly translating the sound, it is wu.

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