FT DR Chapter 129: Secret Crush Is Too Hard

Chapter 129: Secret Crush Is Too Hard

Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: Karai

 

Whenever Marlow was mentioned, Chen Miaomiao’s usually cheerful expression would darken slightly. He chuckled and said, “Us? What can we do? We’re just good friends.”

Wu Chenghe furrowed his brow. Although he felt that as a friend, he shouldn’t meddle in their private affairs, it had been two whole years since their conversation before his marriage. Chen Miaomiao had been tangled in this emotion the whole time, lacking the courage to confess yet unable to let go, hovering between friend and lover. Now, even his career was being affected… This was something he didn’t want to see. “If you’re just good friends, then why did you come to the Star Core for him? I bet your parents must have opposed this decision of yours, right?”

Chen Miaomiao awkwardly chuckled and replied, “It’s just an internship after all, and I might not even stay.” He lied. Both Chen Zhen and Popova opposed his joining the Alpha Front. After all, he was just an ordinary person with limited self-defense capabilities, and this was the frontline between the Navy and the First Army. As the son of a General in the Third Army, his identity was somewhat delicate for the Federal Legion.

“What are you planning to do then?” Since Wu Chenghe had already spoken up, he didn’t intend to let him off easily. He asked directly, “Have you figured it out? Are you planning to confess to Marlow, stay with him in the Independent Brigade, or just treat him as a good friend and return to the capital after the internship?”

“Can’t I stay close to him if we’re not lovers?” Chen Miaomiao said impatiently. “Is there no middle ground? Can’t I just be his good friend?”

“You don’t need to ask me this question. You know it yourself,” Wu Chenghe said. “If you can really achieve your so-called ‘middle ground,’ you wouldn’t be so conflicted. Or maybe you’re already in this ‘middle ground’ now. Are you happy? Are you satisfied?”

Chen Miaomiao was speechless. Anxiously, he ran his hand through his hair and said, “I haven’t thought that much about it. I just want to be closer to him. You know, Senior, since the day he left Aston for the Alpha Front, it’s been a whole year. The only thing I’ve been thinking about every day is how to get closer to him, to see him every week like before, to play basketball with him, to drink with him, to climb mountains with him… I know he’s a sentinel, the son of the Commander, and I’m just an ordinary person. I don’t have such big ambitions to make him love me. I’m satisfied just being his best friend.”

Wu Chenghe never knew that Chen Miaomiao’s feelings for Marlow were so deep and pure, so innocent that he lacked even possessiveness, only simple affection and longing.

Perhaps he had been a guide for too long, or perhaps he had already become accustomed to the strong, unquestionable bond between sentinel and guide. Wu Chenghe found it somewhat difficult to understand such feelings. He sat silently on the sofa, pondering Chen Miaomiao’s words, gradually beginning to understand the subtle love of ordinary humans, the long-lasting affection that flowed gently, the delicate love that lingered between friendship and romance.

First love was probably like this. No one, including family and friends, could replace it. Only Chen Miaomiao could make the decision right away. The only person who could help him sort out his feelings was himself.

“Have you ever tried telling him how you feel?” Wu Chenghe asked Chen Miaomiao. “It’s been two years since I got married. Have you ever tried to test his feelings?”

“I don’t know.” Chen Miaomiao seemed even more distressed when talking about this. He rested his head on the armrest of the sofa, like a wet sparrow beaten by a storm, exuding a damp and depressed aura. “Sometimes I feel like he might like me a little, but every time I muster up the courage to take a step forward, I feel like he doesn’t mean it at all. He just treats me as a good friend. He treats me better than other friends, willing to share his small thoughts, the little conflicts among classmates, the minor jealousies. Sometimes he even talks to me about his caracal, saying that little guy is a glutton, always forcing him to eat food beyond his physical limits…”

Chen Miaomiao continued speaking, a pure smile appearing on his lips, but it quickly faded. “There was a time, just before the final exams, when he stuck to me like glue. He would come to the medical school every one or two days, studying with me in my dormitory. I was so happy during that time, feeling like he was becoming different towards me. Later, I don’t know why, I just wanted to try something…” He paused here, stopped for a while, then said, “On the night before the pharmacology exam, we went to the library together to review. It was already late when we came out, and he walked me back to my dormitory. We said goodbye under the big tree in the courtyard. I gathered all my courage and said to him, ‘Marlow, tomorrow is the pharmacology exam. If I get the highest score in the class, will you give me your first kiss as a gift?'”

Wu Chenghe’s eyebrows twitched, and he subconsciously asked, “What did he say?”

“…He didn’t say anything at the time. He looked at me for a long time, then suddenly smiled, ruffled my hair, and said, ‘Things that don’t exist can’t be given. I’m such a perfect man; how could I possibly leave my first kiss past eighteen?'” Chen Miaomiao smiled bitterly, sighed, “Ah, at that moment, my heart sank. I kicked him twice, jokingly scolded him for not having real feelings for me, for not even willing to give his first kiss, then I sent him away.”

Wu Chenghe fell silent, feeling sorry for him. The expression on Chen Miaomiao’s face dimmed, and he whispered, “The next day during the exam, I could have scored a perfect hundred, but inexplicably changed several answers when submitting the paper. In the end, I only got ninety-two… Do you know, Senior, I didn’t dare to come first. I was afraid I would embarrass myself too much in front of him in the future.”

Wu Chenghe gently touched his head, unable to find comforting words. Chen Miaomiao nestled in the corner of the sofa, heavily burdened, said, “I envy you and King. If only I were a guide, I wouldn’t have to struggle or test anything. Just emit some pheromones toward him, and he would fall in love with me… Human emotions are too complicated, always guessing and guessing, it’s really pitiful.”

“Don’t talk nonsense.” Wu Chenghe patted his head, “If you were a guide, you wouldn’t be as free as you are now.”

“Aren’t you free?” Chen Miaomiao stared at him. 

Wu Chenghe sighed, “Free? Well, compared to when I was in Tungusic, I am a bit freer now, but what have I sacrificed? Have you seen it?”

Chen Miaomiao was speechless. Indeed, if it weren’t for his identity as a guide, Wu Chenghe wouldn’t have married and had children at such a young age, wouldn’t have followed Jin Xuan to such a remote place. With his outstanding performance in medical school and being the Dean’s favorite student, given time, he might have surpassed Mu’s achievements and made it to Aston University’s alumni list…

“Never mind, sacrificing a little for King isn’t a big deal.” Chen Miaomiao lazily got up again, kicked his thigh with his foot, “You don’t want to let me stay.”

“Get lost!” Wu Chenghe pushed away his foot, then said seriously, “What are you planning to do? Coming here behind your family’s back, are you planning to give it another try?”

“I don’t know.” Chen Miaomiao retreated into his shell again, “It’s just an internship wherever I go. Since I’m here, I might as well stay. Hmm, maybe one day I’ll gather up the courage to confess again. If he ends our friendship, at least I’ll have you, Senior, as a consolation prize.”

“Get out of here, who wants to be your consolation prize!” Wu Chenghe knew he was saying it somewhat self-deprecatingly. Thinking about the past made him feel uncomfortable. So, he intentionally spoke harshly to Chen Miaomiao, “Maybe you’ll have a change of heart in a few days. The ‘Moon Chariot’ fleet has plenty of handsome guys. Each one is more handsome than Marlow.”

“Really? Then I’m really blessed.” Chen Miaomiao made a flirtatious gesture, rubbing his hands, “Senior, remember to pull some strings for me and put me in the fertile male department. Then I can examine the bodies of handsome guys every day, hehehe…”

“Have some dignity!” Wu Chenghe tapped him, “It’s late, go to bed. The guest room is ready for you. You need to report to the hospital early tomorrow; don’t be late!”

“Guest room? Why the guest room? Didn’t you call me here today for…” 

“Stop it!”

Starting from the next day, Chen Miaomiao officially entered the Tianzao Hospital as an intern doctor. However, what disappointed him was that Wu Chenghe didn’t use his connections to get him placed in the fertile male department but instead assigned him to the busiest and most physically demanding emergency department.

The Tianzao Fleet was mainly responsible for patrolling the Zhi Fu Chain Nebula Alpha Front. However, their duties went beyond just patrolling. Since their neighbors were the Voyager Army, another branch of the federation’s military, rather than enemies prepared for war at any moment, they were also responsible for various development projects near the Zhi Fu Chain, such as energy and mineral exploration, scientific surveys, and infrastructure construction.

The engineers often worked in the Spaceport and on asteroids. Due to the harsh natural conditions, accidents frequently occurred. Some minor injuries could be handled by the onboard medical staff, but for moderate to severe injuries, they had to be sent to the military hospital. Thus, the work at Tianzao Hospital was very busy, especially in the emergency and surgical departments, which were practically running twenty-four hours a day, dealing with batches of emergency patients at regular intervals.

Chen Miaomiao worked in the emergency department, dealing mostly with surgical trauma cases, often participating in consultations with the surgical team. After assisting Wu Chenghe a few times, he was amazed by his intuition and courage in medicine, even exclaiming, “Senior, are you even human?” 

Wu Chenghe just chuckled at his outburst, patting his head with a detached expression, and said, “Don’t get too attached, kid. I’m just a legend.”

Although Wu Chenghe was very low-key and content, with no complaints about being underutilized, over time Chen Miaomiao couldn’t help but feel regretful for his talent. With his abilities, if it weren’t for being Jin Xuan’s full-time doctor, he could have been a leader in medicine, but unfortunately, because he was a guide, he was destined to be a subordinate to the sentinel, a shadow behind Jin Xuan, forever living in his light.

Chen Miaomiao began to understand more deeply what Wu Chenghe’s “sacrifice” truly meant. Looking back at himself, all the entanglement and pain seemed trivial in the face of true freedom.

After living in the Star Core for two full months, Chen Miaomiao experienced the first resupply of the “Moon Chariot” fleet. When he saw the name “Navigator: Marlow Simpson, Lieutenant” on the supply list, his calm heart immediately started pounding—his biggest motivation for coming to the Star Core, his main reason, was about to appear before him!

The “Moon Chariot” fleet landed on the Star Core in the early hours of standard time. Chen Miaomiao had just finished his night shift and immediately drove to the port in an air float car, anxiously and eagerly waiting at the exit.

The soldiers of the “Moon Chariot” emerged in small groups from inside. Chen Miaomiao craned his neck to look for a while and finally saw Marlow’s figure. After a year apart, Marlow seemed to have become more robust, wearing the lieutenant’s uniform, broad-shouldered and sturdy, with slightly tanned skin and extremely short hair, giving off a sharp and clean-cut vibe.

“M…Marlow!” Chen Miaomiao was ecstatic, about to wave and greet him, but then he saw a graceful figure catching up from behind, linking arms with Marlow. It was a beautiful young woman, possibly a few years older than Marlow, mature and full of charm. She smiled and whispered to Marlow, intimately walking with him towards the exit.

Chen Miaomiao stood frozen in place. He was very familiar with Marlow’s habits and knew that Marlow was a bit particular about physical contact, unable to stand it with anyone except in competitions. They were slightly closer, occasionally joking around, but this was the first time he had seen Marlow being so intimate with a girl.

Are they in a relationship? It couldn’t be. If they were, why didn’t he tell me? Aren’t we “good friends”? Chen Miaomiao’s mind churned violently until Marlow walked to the exit and saw him, but didn’t even think to greet him.

“Miaomiao!” Marlow’s eyes lit up when he saw him, his smile widening instantly, becoming bright and genuine. He let go of the girl’s hand, quickly ran over, and lifted Chen Miaomiao off the ground, spinning him around in the air. “What are you doing here? Weren’t you on night duty? Skipped work?”

“N-no, I’m off duty already.” Chen Miaomiao was infected by his joy and managed to suppress his discomfort. “I was just in a hurry to pick you up. I didn’t even go back to the dormitory.”

Marlow put him down and looked him up and down, noticing that he was still wearing the intern doctor’s uniform. He smiled with curved eyes. “Great, I thought I wouldn’t see you until noon.”

“Marlow, is this your friend?” The girl who came out with Marlow approached with a smile. 

Marlow, in high spirits, said, “Yes, he’s my best friend, Chen Miaomiao.” Then he turned to Chen Miaomiao and said, “This is our captain.”

Only then did Chen Miaomiao notice that the girl had the rank of major, two levels higher than Marlow. He couldn’t help but feel a little happy—Marlow was somewhat chauvinistic and wouldn’t like women who were stronger than him. Thinking about it this way made him feel a little better. He shook hands with the female captain. “Hello, Captain.”

“Hello, Marlow has mentioned you.” The captain shook his hand. “You’re General Popova’s son, right? I’m a loyal fan of General Popova. Can you help me get an autograph from her?” She hooked her arm around Marlow’s and said with a gentle shake, “Come on, Marlow, help me ask your friend for a favor.”

Marlow discreetly pulled away from her hand and placed his hand on Chen Miaomiao’s shoulder. “No need to ask him for a favor. I’ve already agreed on his behalf.”

The captain glanced at Chen Miaomiao, then at Marlow, with a somewhat profound look. “Well then, thank you. I still have to go to the logistics center. Marlow, remember to be on time. Don’t get too caught up in catching up with your friend and forget about your duties.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Marlow’s expression became serious, and he saluted. 

The captain waved her hand helplessly. “Don’t be so nervous. It’s vacation time. Goodbye, Marlow.”

“Goodbye.” Marlow watched the captain leave, then turned back and patted Chen Miaomiao’s shoulder. “How’s it going? Are you getting used to it here? Did Charlie help you out?”

Chen Miaomiao nodded silently, walking with him to the parking lot. As they walked, he couldn’t help but feel conflicted. He didn’t know if he was being too sensitive, but he felt like the captain’s attitude towards Marlow was more than just a superior-subordinate relationship—it seemed like there was something else… When they reached the hovercar, he couldn’t hold back anymore and stopped, asking, “Is your captain pursuing you?”

“Huh!” Marlow was taken aback by his question, and it took him a while to avoid his gaze. “No, that’s not it. She’s just a friendly person, very kind to her subordinates. You’re overthinking it.”

Seeing him dodge his gaze, the discomfort Chen Miaomiao had just suppressed resurfaced. He started the car and said quietly, “Even if it’s just being friendly, there should be some sincerity, right? Do you think I can’t see through it? Are we still good friends?”

Marlow furrowed his brows, his lips moved, but no sound came out. After a moment of silence, he got into the car without a word and closed the door. “Yeah, because we’re good friends, I’m telling you the truth.”

The phrase “good friends” was like a thorn in both of their hearts. What used to be the warmest term now felt like a lump in their throats, causing discomfort beyond words.

The “Moon Chariot” fleet only stayed on the Star Core for a day. After the resupply was over, they had to set sail again. Marlow had limited vacation time, so after having lunch with Chen Miaomiao and visiting the twins in the afternoon, he left.

Perhaps it was because they hadn’t seen each other for a year, or perhaps there was something different in each of their hearts now. Their interactions that day, whether it was Marlow or Chen Miaomiao, felt somewhat unnatural. They used to have endless conversations when they were together, talking about sports, school, teachers… Especially Chen Miaomiao, who was practically a gossip machine when it came to Marlow.

After that meeting, they frequently found themselves in awkward silences. Unconsciously, they would each immerse themselves in their own thoughts. Eventually, they would realize the discomfort, only to find themselves stumbling over each other’s words when attempting to speak. Often, they would end up talking simultaneously, unable to hear what the other was saying, until all that was left was an awkward smile.

How did it come to this? In the navigation room of the ship, Marlow stood before the holographic navigation console, his mind heavy with worry as he manipulated the navigation icons. It was the first time he had dropped anchor during working hours. He had been anticipating this resupply for two months, ever since receiving the message from Chen Miaomiao about interning at Tianzhu Hospital without his parents’ knowledge. It felt as though a joyful little dancer had taken residence in his heart, dancing for a full sixty standard days until they met, had dinner, parted ways, and he boarded the ship, yet the dance continued.

Was Miaomiao upset? Marlow anxiously wondered. Did he misunderstand the situation between me and the captain? My response at the time was terrible; I should have explained myself… But what good would it do to explain? Should I confess to him? Would he accept me?

What if, by some stroke of luck, he did accept? What then? Should I marry him and give up the opportunity to become a guide? But can I guarantee that I won’t regret it in the next fifty years, that I’ll maintain this feeling for him?

The young navigator was caught in a painful dilemma, one that had plagued him for nearly three years. Clearly, it would continue to torment him.

Despite all this, he was still happy because he had reunited with the person he most wanted to see, a day he had waited for a year!

At Tianzuo Hospital, Chen Miaomiao was immersed in the same bittersweet feeling as Marlow. Similarly, he felt that the meeting was a disaster, filled with awkwardness and discomfort unlike their previous natural and smooth interactions. But seeing each other was better than longing, and meeting the person you longed for, even if it was just an awkward meal, was especially blissful!

In the emergency room lounge, the gossip king sighed deeply until Wu Chenghe burst in excitedly and grabbed him by the neck. Only then did he snap out of it. “Cough, cough, are you trying to kill me with that grip, senior? What did you just say?”

“Where’s your mind wandering off to?” Wu Chenghe loosened his grip a bit and exclaimed loudly into his ear, “Didn’t you hear? Dean is coming to Tianzuo! Four pairs of sentinel·guide pairs volunteered for clinical trials, and he’s coming here to conduct the experiments!”

“Really?” Chen Miaomiao suddenly brightened up. “The queen is coming? What about the little queen?”

“What little queen?”

“Zhuang Zhuang!”

“Of course, she’s coming too.” Wu Chenghe pinched his cheeks happily. “He just messaged me, saying he’ll bring Zhuang Zhuang next month to see me and the twins, and Jin Xuan.” Feeling something was off, he added, “And you too!”

Chen Miaomiao coldly smirked, “You’d better include me.”

Wu Chenghe chuckled, “Of course.” 

 

The author’s note: Ah, the intricacies of ordinary human love, the complexities of the human heart, especially first love, it’s quite delicate indeed…

 

 

 

 

 

This Title is available for faster chapter releases through paid Patreon membership. Any proceeds go to keeping the website running. Check it out HERE.