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Chapter 99: Hatred (Part Two)

Jin Ling stole a glance at Wei WuXian again. No dogs were with him, and Wei WuXian was finally able to get a hold of himself. He felt like he had a headache, “You kid… It’s so late. Why did you come here with your dog?”

But he didn’t know that after Lan WangJi, Wen Ning, and he departed from Lotus Pier, Jin Ling secretly went to find him. Realizing he was gone, he threw a tantrum at his uncle who ran madly around, making people unsheathe their swords. He criticized that Wei WuXian ran away all because of him, and Jiang Cheng slammed him on the ground right after. And so, Jin Ling decided that he might as well do everything, taking Fairy to trace Wei WuXian’s tracks. Fairy didn’t disappoint, arriving with accuracy at the Guanyin Temple by following Wei WuXian’s scent. However, when Jin Ling was knocking, Fairy sensed the killing intent hidden behind the doors and suddenly turned around, biting his owner’s clothes and barking to alarm him. Unfortunately, something seemed odd about this Guanyin Temple. Even if Wei WuXian wasn’t inside, Jin Ling felt he had to find out what it was. In the end, he still fell into the hands of the enemy.

Of course, Jin Ling wouldn’t speak the truth. He only snorted.

Along with a few people, Jin GuangYao stepped into the temple. Right before the doors closed, he turned to his subordinates, “Where’s the dog?”

A monk replied, “The dog was wild. It bit anyone in its path. I was unable subdue it, and it ran off.”

Jin GuangYao, “Find it and kill it. The dog’s quite bright. It wouldn’t do us well if it led someone over.”

“Yes!”

The monk left with his sword, and the doors finally closed. Jin Ling was more than astonished, blurting, “You’re really gonna kill it? You were the one who gave me Fairy!”

Jin GuangYao asked instead, “A-Ling, what are you doing here?”

Jin Ling glanced at Wei WuXian, unsure of how to respond. Suddenly, Lan XiChen spoke up, “Sect Leader Jin, Jin Ling is still a child.”

Jin GuangYao turned to him, “I know.”

Lan XiChen, “He is your nephew as well.”

Jin GuangYao broke into a smile, “Brother, what are you thinking? Of course, I know Jin Ling’s not only a child but my nephew as well. What did you think I’d do? Silence him by murder?”

Lan XiChen didn’t say anything. Jin GuangYao shook his head, turning to Jin Ling, “A-Ling, you heard him. If you make a ruckus, perhaps I’d do some scary things to you. Do as you see fit, please.”

Jin Ling had always had a good relationship with this uncle of his. In the past, Jin GuangYao doted on him quite a lot. Right now, he appeared to be as nice as always, but with the way things were, Jin Ling found it difficult to view him in the same light as before. Quietly, he walked towards Wei WuXian and Lan XiChen, looking quite obedient.

Jin GuangYao turned around, “They still haven’t dug it up yet? Tell the people inside to hurry up!”

One of the monks answered, “Yes!” With a sword, he rushed into the Guanyin Palace.

Wei WuXian finally noticed that from the main palace came the sound of earth and stone being shuffled, as though many people were trying to dig something out. He thought, What’s he digging? A tunnel? The Tiger Seal? The thing that’s sealed here?

Jin GuangYao, “Speaking of it, there’s something I haven’t asked yet—Mr. Wei, how do you know this place? Please don’t tell me you and HanGuang-Jun just so happened to have arrived here on your vacation.”

Wei WuXian, “LianFang-Zun, you hid quite a big land deed in the secret chamber of Fragrant Palace, right beside my manuscripts. Don’t you remember?”

Jin GuangYao, “Oh, that would be my fault. I should’ve put them separately.”

Wei WuXian, “Right now, we won’t be able to run from your grasp no matter what, so could you perhaps tell me just what a creature is being suppressed in this Guanyin Temple, LianFang-Zun, and quench my curiosity a bit?”

Jin GuangYao smiled, “Quenching your curiosity doesn’t come at a low price. Young Master Wei, are you sure you’d like to try?”

Wei WuXian, “Oh. On second thought, then, nevermind.”

At this point, Lan XiChen walked towards him. Wei WuXian finally noticed that although the sword at Lan XiChen’s waist was an inch unsheathed, no light was shining. He asked, “ZeWu-Jun, what’s with this?”

Lan XiChen, “It was quite a shame. I was fooled by lies and lost my spiritual powers. Even though I carry Shuoyue and Liebing, they will not be of much help.”

Wei WuXian, “No need to feel ashamed. After all, lying is one of LianFang-Zun’s greatest skills.”

Remembering the Empathy scene where Meng Yao feigned suicide to stab Nie MingJue behind the back as well as the news that ‘LianFang-Zun was heavily injured’, he didn’t find it too hard to deduce how Lan XiChen lost his spiritual powers.

Jin GuangYao ordered the monks, “Lay out an array. When HanGuang-Jun comes later, stop him as long as you can.”

Wei WuXian, “How are you so sure that HanGuang-Jun would come?”

He was still rapidly thinking whether or not he should lie and lower Jin GuangYao’s guard when Jin GuangYao smiled, as though he knew what he was thinking, “Of course he’d come. Since you were suspicious of this Guanyin Temple, Young Master Wei, of course HanGuang-Jun would know of the peculiarities here as well. Young Master Wei, don’t tell me you think I’d believe you if you said he didn’t come with you.”

Wei WuXian, “Bravo.”

Lan XiChen, “Young Master Wei, if WangJi is around, why is he not with you?”

Wei WuXian, “We’re acting separately.”

Lan XiChen, however, paused in surprise, “I heard you injured yourself when you left Burial Mound. Why would he act separately with you at such a time?”

Wei WuXian, “Who did you hear it from?”

Jin GuangYao, “I told him.”

Wei WuXian glanced at him before turning to Lan XiChen, “It’s like this. I couldn’t sleep tonight and took a stroll outside the inn. I only came here accidentally. HanGuang-Jun’s in another room. He doesn’t know I went out.”

Jin GuangYao found this strange, “You two got two rooms?”

Wei WuXian, “Who told you we’d definitely get one room?

Jin GuangYao smiled, but said nothing. Wei WuXian, “Oh, I know.” Lan XiChen told him. Wei WuXian, “You two really do talk about anything and everything.”

However, there was no joking tone in Lan XiChen’s voice, “Young Master Wei, did something happen between you two?”

Without the genial smile on his face, he looked even more like Lan WangJi with such a serious expression. Wei WuXian couldn’t understand why his reaction was so big. He felt guilty in the first place, “Sect Leader Lan, what could’ve happened between us? As of the moment, let’s turn our attention to dealing with this one.”

He gestured to Jin GuangYao with his eyes. With the reminder, Lan XiChen replied, “I was too impatient. My apologies.”

Yet, Jin GuangYao smiled, “So it seems that a problem indeed happened. And not a small problem, at that.”

Wei WuXian returned a cold smile, “Right now, the entire cultivation world is about to crusade against you, LianFang-Zun, and you’re still sitting back, aren’t you? Still got the spare time to worry about others? Aren’t you a chatty one?”

Jin GuangYao, “Of course not. I just had to comment. HanGuang-Jun spent so many years in yearning, and even today he hasn’t gotten his happy ending yet. Not only does Sect Leader Lan have a good reason to feel impatient, even an outsider can’t bear watching it.”

Wei WuXian whirled around, “What yearning? What happy ending?”

Hearing this, both Jin GuangYao and Lan XiChen seemed surprised. They examined his expression carefully, as though trying to see if he was purposely pretending to be oblivious. Wei WuXian’s heart suddenly began to pound, like something that had been dead for more than half the night suddenly bursted alive in his chest again. He forced himself to be calm, “What do you mean?”

Jin GuangYao, “Young Master Wei, do you really don’t understand what I mean? No matter what, if HanGuang-Jun heard this, it’d be a little hurtful, wouldn’t it?”

Wei WuXian, “I really don’t understand. Just say it out loud!!!”

Lan XiChen was shocked, “Young Master Wei, could it be that even after you spent such a long time together with WangJi, you still do not know of his feelings?”

Wei WuXian grabbed him at once, about to kneel on the ground and beg him to explain everything in one go, “Sect Leader Lan, Sect Leader Lan, w-what feelings do you mean by Lan Zhan’s feelings?! Is it, is it…”

Lan XiChen forcefully drew his hand away, speaking in disbelief, “So you really know nothing. But have you forgotten how he received those whip scars? Have you not seen the brand mark at his chest?”

Wei WuXian, “Whip scars?!” He grabbed Lan XiChen again, “Sect Leader Lan, I really don’t know. Please tell me, just how did he get those injuries? How could they possibly be related to me?!?”

Anger could be seen on Lan XiChen’s face, “If it were not related to you, could he have done those to himself without a reason?!”

ZeWu-Jun had always been an extremely patient person, but now that Lan WangJi was involved, he was truly angered. But after he scrutinized Wei WuXian’s expression, he suppressed some of his anger, trying, “Your… memory is damaged?”

Wei WuXian, “My memory?” He immediately tried as hard as he could to think of things that he’d forgotten, “I don’t remember my memory being… Yes!”

There was indeed a portion of his memories that was blurry.

The massacre of the Nightless City!

On the night back then, he thought Wen Qing and Wen Ning had already been turned to dust, he watched the cultivational world charge so passionately at him, he even saw Jiang YanLi die before him with his own eyes. In the end, he lost control and put the Tiger Seal together, letting it succumb to slaughter. Those killed by the corpses under the Seal’s command became new corpses, creating an endless flow of killing puppets to build the hell of blood.

Afterwards, even though Wei WuXian could manage to support himself and remain standing, amidst the blur, he felt himself leave the slaughter house of a city. He was unconscious for a long time, and when he woke up again, he’d been sitting at the bottom of Yiling’s Burial Mound for quite long.

Lan XiChen, “Do you remember now?”

Wei WuXian murmured, “The time at Nightless City? I-I’ve always thought I somehow walked back on my own. Could it be…”

Lan XiChen almost laughed out of the rage, “Young Master Wei! On the night at Nightless City, what faced you was how many people? Three thousand! No matter what a prodigy you were, to be able to escape unscathed in those circumstances? Absolutely impossible!”

Wei WuXian, “What… What did Lan Zhan do?”

Lan XiChen, “What WangJi did—if you do not remember, I am afraid he would never tell you in this life, and you would never ask either. Fine, then. Let me be the one to say it.” He continued, “Young Master Wei, in that night, you took the two halves of the Stygian Tiger Seal and pieced them together. After you were satisfied with the killing, you were a spent arrow as well. WangJi was injured on your rampage. He was in no better shape than you, barely supporting himself by leaning on Bichen. In spite of this, as he saw you stumble away, he immediately followed.

“Right then, not many people were still conscious. I, too, was almost unable to move, and I could only watch as WangJi, whose spiritual powers were clearly about to be drained, staggered towards you. He brought you onto Bichen as soon as he grabbed you, and you two left.

“Four hours later, my spiritual powers, having finally been restored, I hurried back to the GusuLan Sect in search for assistance. I was worried that if those from another sect found you first, WangJi would be considered your accomplice. The best scenario was his name being forever tainted, and the worst his life being taken away right then. Thus, along with Uncle, we chose thirty-three seniors who had always thought highly of WangJi and searched for two days on our swords in secrecy. Only then did we find signs of you two within the Yiling region. WangJi hid you in a cave. When we arrived, you sat blankly on a rock within the cave. Holding your hand, WangJi was giving you spiritual energy. He kept on whispering to you. But throughout the whole time, you repeated the same two words at him.

“‘Get lost’!”

Wei WuXian’s throat was dry. His eyes were red as well. He couldn’t say a single thing. Lan XiChen continued, “My uncle suddenly appeared before him and scolded him, asking for him to explain things. As if he knew all along he would be discovered by us, he said that there was nothing to explain, that this was it. Growing up, he had never talked back to Uncle and me even once. But for you, not only did WangJi talk back to him, he even met with his sword the cultivators from the GusuLan Sect. He heavily injured all thirty-three of the seniors we asked to come…”

Wei WuXian dug his hands into his hair, “… I-I didn’t know… I really…”

Apart from repeating how he didn’t know, he wasn’t able to say anything else. Lan XiChen restrained himself for a moment, yet still continued, “Thirty-three whip scars! He was punished in one go, once for each person. You should know how much it hurts when it lands on your body, for how long you have to rest to recover! After he went out of his way to send you back to Burial Mound and returned in such low spirits to receive his punishment, how long he kneeled before the Wall of Rules! I told him when I went to see him, Young Master Wei had already made a grave mistake, there was no use augmenting it. But he said… that he could not say with certainty whether what you did was right or wrong, but no matter what, he was willing to be responsible for all of the consequences alongside you. They say those years were him reflecting on his mistakes, but in reality he was entirely bedridden. Even so, when he knew of your passing away, he still dragged such a body to Burial Mound to take one last look, no matter what…

“With the ways in which he looked and talked to you when he saved you and hid you in that cave, even someone who was blind or deaf could perceive his feelings, which was why my uncle was in such anger. WangJi was a model for the disciples when he was young, and a prominent cultivator when he grew up. In his whole life he had been honest and righteous and immaculate—you were the only mistake he made! And you say… And you say you do not know. Young Master Wei, after you returned in your body, how did you pester him and confess to him? Every night… Every night, you had to… And you say you do not know? If you did not know, why did you do such things?”

Wei WuXian really wanted to go back to all those times and kill himself. It was precisely because he didn’t know that he dared do such things!

He suddenly felt terrified. If Lan WangJi didn’t know that he couldn’t at all recall what happened in the few days after the massacre at Nightless City, if Lan WangJi thought that he knew about his feelings all along, just how horrible were the things he did after he came back?

At first, he did those shameful, theatrical things in order to make Lan WangJi feel disgust and throw him out of the Cloud Recesses so that they wouldn’t meet each other again, going their separate ways. Lan WangJi wouldn’t have failed to see what his real attitude was. But even when this was the case… he still chose to keep him by his side, refusing to give Jiang Cheng the chance to approach and make things difficult for him. He answered all questions, granted all requests, indulged him and forgave him again and again. Even when faced with Wei WuXian’s myriad of almost cruel teasing, he was still able to hold himself from crossing the line.

Then, back at the inn, when he pushed him away so suddenly, was it also because… he thought it was another instance of spur-of-the-moment presumption?

Wei WuXian really couldn’t keep on thinking any longer. He rushed towards the Guanyin Temple’s doors, and cultivators immediately stopped him. Jin GuangYao, “Young Master Wei, I do understand your current excitement…”

Right now, all Wei WuXian wanted to do was to rush back to the inn, rush to Lan WangJi’s side, and tell him his feelings no matter how much he rambled. With one strike, he sent two monks who tried to stop him flying away, roaring, “You understand my ass!”

After the strike, the seven or eight people all threw themselves over. Wei WuXian immediately felt his view darken. On the other side, Jin GuangYao was intent on finishing his words, “… I only wanted to tell you, there’s no need to be in such a hurry. Your HanGuang-Jun—he’s already here.”

An icy blue sword glare shot from the sky, whistling as it forced back the silhouettes who encircled Wei WuXian before returning to someone’s hand. Lan WangJi landed before the Guanyin Temple soundlessly and glanced at him, his expression no different from usual. But with nervousness, Wei WuXian felt all of the things he wanted to say crumple up inside of his stomach. His abdomen cramped. He could only murmur, “… Lan Zhan.”

Right before, Jin Ling was shocked speechless by Lan XiChen’s words. Seeing that Lan WangJi was here, he was ecstatic at first, but his expression immediately twisted as he saw how Lan WangJi and Wei WuXian looked at each other. 

Jin GuangYao sighed, “You see? That’s what I said. If you’re here, Young Master Wei, HanGuang-Jun would definitely come as well.”

Lan WangJi turned the wrist of the hand with which he held Bichen. Just as he was about to move, Jin GuangYao smiled, “HanGuang-Jun, it’s best if you take five steps back.”

Wei WuXian suddenly felt a small, sharp sting come from his neck. Lan XiChen lowered his voice, “Be careful. Do not move!”

Lan WangJi’s gaze landed on Wei WuXian’s neck. His face paled slightly.

An almost unnoticeable guqin string, light and golden, was tied around Wei WuXian’s neck.

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825 Comments

  1. Thanks for the stellar translation, as always! What a way for our boy WWX to finally learn of LZ’s feelings. Jin Ling is presh to the max. Can’t wait to see how they’ll get out of this mess!

  2. omg i at last found how he receive tjhose scars and aww he stood near WW two days o.o, although ww mind i see was away
    hmmmm the song does fit good
    guess one weekof waiting to see what happens
    clearly his brother kinda resents ww

  3. I always was curious how did he get those scars on his back, who would have thought that he was punished due to his choice to stay by his loved one side. I mean we also wandered where was he when WWX was killed and this explains it! This broke my heart 😔.

    Thank you for your hard work 🙏

    1. He was not punished coz he stood by WWX’s side. It was for injuring the 33 elders!!! It’s a big difference for GusuLan ckan. They never punish love, but wrong behavior. Like LWJ & LXC’s father. He didn’t punish himself coz he loved “the wrong person” or whatever, but because he refused to let justice prevail against her because of that love…

  4. At first I thought it was funny, it seemed like JGY and LXC where like gossip-queens, but after that backstory, I feel really emotional… and somehow sad.
    It was cruel to say”Get lost”, WWX, but I guess he realises it even more than we do.
    “In his whole life he had been honest and righteous and immaculate—you were the only mistake he made!” – I died after this sentence, it’s amazing, how LXC was extremely composed whenever he was with WWX, even though he held a grudge against WWX.

    Thank you for the update!

  5. Even the villain knew it before Wei Ying himself! 😅

    Wei Ying never put two and two together along his and Lan Zhan’s journey that Lan Zhan actually loves him. How could a person that smart be this dense? 😅

    1. Few reasons!

      1-JC kept saying that all LWJ’s behavior was coz he hated WWX. And they were too young to understand better. It’s only when the parents at the farm, in the present, talked about “bullying” to attract attention because of love or friendship that WWX understood his own feelings!

      2-WWX was unaware of the true events after Nightless city coz he was in a daze, in grief, a bit insane coz of demonic cultivation withoit the buffer of spiritual energy and/or of love

      3-Even the rest of the world believe that they’ve always been antagonistic, how cld he believe otherwise?

      4-Only LXC is good at reading his bro’s true feelings, JGY knows them coz of his own relationship as at least LXC’s confident, maybe more…

      1. Oh and also that WWX doesn’t have a good selfesteem, so doesn’t dare believe that such a great, nice, awesone person as LWJ cld love such a despicable person as his poor self…

  6. I wasn’t expecting I’d cry so much from reading this together with the music – it fits the Chapter so good ❤️

    Thank you for the hard work. I look forward to the next Chapter.

  7. I forgave you for being late. Another great chapter lovely music. I was crying like the other fans. How does LWJ safe my WWX? Can wait for next weeks chapter. Thank you again kept up the great work.

  8. What a chapter! My heart is beating fast – what unbelievable things LWJ did for love and this guy WWX couldn’t figure it out!😮 I’m going to cry. And the song is beautiful even though don’t understand a word. It sounds sad, yet hopeful between two people singing to each other. Thank you ER for this incredible chapter 💜

  9. Wow, I lived to see Lan XiChen getting angry like that with someone. Poor Wangji, he suffered so much out of love. Glad to know he had a new chance to be happy with Wei wuxian

  10. It seems the song’s name is WangXian, but at the same time, it’s not apparently the same WangXian that turns up when I search for it on Google (?) I’m a bit confused.

    ALSO, THIS CHAPTER OMGGGG

  11. No way! why is their love story so sad! Wangji, Wuxian speak with each other, f*ck!
    and Jin Ling watching speechless…

    will I be able to surivie a week before the next chapter release?! This is to cruel…

    Thank you for the hard work till now K !

  12. It’s so great to have a brother!!!

    Also from the first moment I heard this song I knew…great things were going to happen…

    Thank you for the chapter !!! ♡♡♡

  13. Lan Wangji…. accepted his rejection 13 years ago… and still decided to stay by wei wuxians side to help him and keep him happy… im crying so much. He never asked for Wei Wuxians love back. Such a pure way of loving. He just let Wei Wuxian fuck with his emotions… All the rules he ends up breaking, the ideals instilled into him since youth, and going against his family, Wei Wuxian was worth so much more than all of that.

    1. “With the ways in which he looked and talked to you when he saved you and hid you in that cave, even someone who was blind or deaf could perceive his feelings…”
      And those few days of comforting he gave and gentleness he showed WWX, all LWJ got from WWX was “Get Lost”. (πーπ)

      1. It’s not WWX fault to say ”get lost” to LWJ. He was half unconscious and want to die and was heartbroken. Just put yourself in his place in that time he lost everyone he loves and who he wanted to protect. He saw his sister die in front of his eyes. Ya’ll are so quick to say that he was oblivious about LWJ feelings or he was so mean to say such words to him but sometimes ya’ll forget to try to understand him and how much he has suffered all his life. And also he has always been told since his teen age that LWJ hates him by JC and even when he become the Yiling Patriarch too where people talk sometimes how LWJ hates him and his method of killing when in fact it was just LWJ trying to protect him and don’t want something to turn wrong while using his dark magic and we have seen in some chapter LWJ always anxious telling WWX if he could still control his power and what will happen if he loses control. So please stop one sided on those scene.

  14. I! Have! Questions!!!! How is WWX supposed to know what a discipline whip feels like?? Isn’t it supposed to hurt epically more than a normal one, leaving scars for life? And I can’t remember him ever being hit by one? And Lan XiChen, isn’t gossiping forbidden, he even told JGY about WWX and LWJ sharing rooms. Anyways, feels like WWX’s dark spell is over, props to the protective brother- FINALLY. Don’t mess this up my boy.

    1. Let me clarify. Every Sect does have a discipline whip, it was hardly ever used until extremely necessary when a disciple commits a grave mistake that cannot be atoned unless by the mark of the whip. Its the last and worst form of punishment.

      Jiang Cheng was whipped on his chest once by the YunmengJiang Sect’s discipline whip when the Wen Sect who invaded his home captured him. To this day, he tried everything to get rid of it, it does not work, and that too is only one whip. Wei WuXian knows the impact of this whip even if he never suffers from it. At first with theory and later witnessing it cause of JC’s whip mark. LXC was probably referencing this. Every disciples are aware of the impact of these whips. Even LXC was never whipped, but he knows how it must have hurt, its the same case with WWX. In the story, there is only two known people who ever suffers from those whips. Lan WangJi (33 whips on his back) and Jiang Cheng (1 whip on his chest). Their scars will never fade. Its mentioned that only one or two will be enough to inflict the torture so that the wrongdoers will never forget for life and never makes the same mistake. WWX mentioned that with the amount of whip scars on LWJ’s back, the punisher might as well have killed him, thats how severe it was. If he commits such a crime to received 33 whips, the question was why he was not sentenced to die. It was so severe that it was the equivalent of a death sentence. Lan WangJi endured all of it for WWX. The three years of seclusion within the 13 years was also cause he was bedridden for those three years, and confined. But after his punishment, three months passed when he got the news that WWX died. So, he was still freshly wounded when he dragged his body to BM, his confinement has also just started.

      As to LXC and JGY knowing about WangXian. In the past LXC never told JGY directly, but he used to talked about his brother, and JGY being as clever as he was figured it out himself. So he’s known for a long time. And to the present incident. WWX was covered with love marks, so ofc they connect the dots and definitely thought they would share a room and a bed, knowing how they slept tgt. Even Wen Ning was shocked to see WWX, ofc JGY and LXC would noticed the bruises and bite marks on his body.

      1. I’m confused about the fact that LWJ wasn’t there when WWX died. In the Tv Drama, LWJ was trying to save him from falling off the cliff at Nightless City. How 3 months later does WWX die? Did they just do his death differently in the Drama than the Novel? I think I need some clarity on not only these revelations but LWJ going to Burial Grounds to see WWX one last time after he died? What? Did the keep WWX body for 3 months? What’s the dilly-o? Please help me understand.

  15. Ah, this is so intense. Thank you for another gut wrenching chapter. I’d like to share the two playlists made for Lan WangJi and Wei WuXian on Spotify. The love for music had me create a Moodsoudtrack for each character, maybe that’ll ease the pain of waiting for the next chapter a tad.

  16. I have to say I’m falling in love with you guys!!Your comments are so lovely lollol

    Although I am Chinese, I am also waiting for the English update with you.lt’s sooooo excited to see this chapter today, thank you K! Look forward to the next chapter^ω^

  17. Lovely song. It’s awful how it’s coming about, but I’m so glad that things are finally getting said out loud. Poor WWX though, the shame he’s feeling right now, plus knowing he got LWJ into this situation.

    Thanks for the great translation K ♥️♥️

  18. This chapter!
    You know, WWX hasn’t ever really allowed himself be certain how he ever felt about anything – being blamed, disappointed by, and betrayed by the reality of his life falling apart… he’s “dense” in the way of not allowing himself to ever explore how others truly thought about him, held back by the fear of rejection that WWX been’s burned by (over and over) again… in that way, he’s never had truly a stable emotional force in his life.

    I think that the way WWX internalizes and processes his emotions is really complex, and smart – smart only for survival, because what other choice did he have? How else would someone be able to live with the hatred others aligned and associated with him? What else could he do but put himself aside to deal with current matters, time and time again? What else but accept it and put it off for later?

    And now it’s all catching up to him!
    LWJ has been tremendously steady, and it’s truly inspiring to see how his love, his actions, have always been truly to care for WWX from this… place of no ego, from the sincerest depths of wanting safety and happiness and aliveness for him. I cannot imagine how much LWJ has been rejoicing in WWX being alive and having a second chance just to see him. I can’t imagine how little LWJ thinks of himself, never expecting more from WWX, never pressing further, never wanting more for himself but everything WWX, even if LWJ were entirely removed from that happiness. He truly wishes only the best. And it feels like the deepest look at love, faith, and companionship I’ve seen expressed in any fictional work, and between two same gendered at that, their emotional sensitivities laid bare for us to synthesize and learn from and appreciate. Being gay myself, this work has only inspired faith that truest love between men aren’t just a cheap product of hot gay yaois XDDD but explores an authentic foundation of friendship and passion that is actually just moving and loving. I can only hope the novels I write one day can express a percentage of how MXTX does it.

    And of course as readers we all already knew this… but anyway here’s my entire love letter to chapter 99! It’s my first time commenting and I’ve got to say chapter 99 takes my cake so far for favorite chapter. Of course the acknowledged (but one sided) skinship was intimate but… the next step for WWX has always been an honest examination at what actually happened! Can’t wait to see more character progression. `
    So happy for these two and uncharacteristically having a big feels moment. Bye now.

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