Cataclysm Chapter 54: Evil Elevator 1; Pig Head

Chapter 54: Evil Elevator 1; Pig Head

Translated by Kirio of Exiled Rebels Scanlations 

Editor: Karai

 

Chen Yang walked into the precinct, saw Mao Xiaoli sitting on the sofa and swiping through Weibo, so he asked her, “Xiaoli, did Du Shuo come back yesterday?”

Mao Xiaoli looked up and replied, “No. Did you catch the Wutong Spirits?²

“Their relationship has always been good.” Kou Xuanling raised his gaze and glanced at Mao Xiaoli, “You’ve never been in love, you wouldn’t understand.”

Mao Xiaoli was not convinced, “And you were?” She was willing to swear in her name that, the universe’s most insensitive guy³, Kou Xuanling never dated anyone!

“I may not have been in love but I understand the feeling.” Kou Xuanling sneered.

Mao Xiaoli was silent for a long time, just sitting silently beside Kou Xuanling, before looking at him with eager bright eyes, “You have a crush on someone?”

“Not you.” Kou Xuanling replied bluntly. Mao Xiaoli was so close to blowing his head off. This straight as steel stereotypical male actually ended their topic with two mere hateful words!

“‘Thank you’ for your generosity.” Mao Xiaoli won’t stop for the sake of gossip, “How do you understand that kind of feeling? When did you know? Who is the other person?”

“I understood these feelings when I was sixteen.”

Mao Xiaoli raised her hand in a stop motion and pulled the plate of sunflower seeds over, started cracking one before motioning for him to continue.

Kou Xuanling continued, “I received my first solo case when I was sixteen. I was young and inexperienced, half dead from being seasick and airsick. I went to sleep right away after I reached my destination, so I woke up in the middle of the night to make offerings to the ancestors, only to realize I actually forgot to bring the ancestors’ portraits.”

Mao Xiaoli stopped eating the seeds. Not only did her urge to snack on the sunflower seeds disappear, she wanted so badly to shove the seeds up his face.

Kou Xuanling remembered the fluttering feeling of fear clearly, “I painted the ancestor portraits myself. Those sold out there are fakes but still not easy to buy. Plus, they are usually portraits of Master Sanqing.”

He let out a sigh before continuing, “That mission took me three days to complete. It felt like I had not seen my ancestor for ten years. When I got back, I showered immediately and fasted as an offering to the ancestor. Since then, the ancestor’s portraits have never left my side.”

“One day apart is like three autumns, three days is only nine years.” Mao Xiaoli said.

“I rounded that up.”

“Oh.” Mao Xiaoli replied indifferently while dumping the sunflower seed shells. Due to her big movements, one of the shells fell on Kou Xuanling’s big toe. She glanced at it and let out two snickering chuckles.

Kou Xuanliang immediately felt targeted but he wasn’t sure when he had offended Mao Xiaoli. At the same time, Ma Shanfeng came out, so he heard Kou Xuanling’s complaint, “A woman’s heart is like a needle in the sea⁴.

“That depends on the subject.” Ma Shanfeng said.

Kou Xuanling was puzzled but Ma Shanfeng did not proceed to explain, but instead asked, “I heard Director Chen mentioning Chief Du when I was in the office? How…did his real identity get exposed?”

If Ma Shanfeng was asking the Kou Xuanling from a day ago, he wouldn’t know the answer. So the Kou Xuanling today locked eyes with the all-knowing Ma Shanfeng with shock in his eyes. When he saw Kou Xuanling’s expression, he already got the answer he wanted.

“Uncle Ma, I finally realize that you’re the dark horse in the office.” Du Shuo was also a dark horse, but he did not belong in the office.

Uncle Ma waved his hands, “It’s easy to spot things when you’ve experienced and seen a lot of stuff. Is Director Chen mad at me?”

“It does not look like he is. Tsk! Director Chen in a Yin marriage? How is that possible? A living person like him being married to a ghost? Plus, it’s a marriage with that ghost big shot. This is so absurd it’s like I’m having a dream.”

Ma Shanfeng offered to wake Kou Xuanling up but was turned down flatly.

“Director Chen’s face looks like he does not have a long life,” said Ma Shanfeng.

That sentence alone contained a lot of insights worth exploring. Kou Xuanling followed, “Wouldn’t it involve the forbidden arts?”

Ma Shanfeng dispelled his suspicions, “If Director Chen got tied together in Yin marriage with some random evil spirit from the netherworld, one can suspect the forbidden arts. But Director Chen’s other half is that one from Fengdu, what kind of forbidden arts could possibly be performed on that person? Look at how well they get along and how that person loves and respects Director Chen. If it weren’t for Director Chen, that person wouldn’t even show up here, not to mention talk to us like we are all friends.”

The Great Emperor of Fengdu, a respected god of Taoism, naturally had his own pride. Although he did not disdain mortals, he would never get himself mingling with many mortals in the human realm. The Great Emperor of Fengdu appeared four years ago in the Bureau as the Chief, but one would only see him making an appearance during a few of the larger cases in the country. The rest of the time, he would be so mysterious as if he was off the grid.

Kou Xuanling had always respected Du Shuo and regarded him as a role model besides his respected Zushiye (grand ancestor). He said to Ma Shanfeng, “At first I thought Chief Du was the head of the mysterious sect where one won’t even appear more than once in a year. After coming to the branch and seeing him so often, only did I know that he was here to accompany his partner. Now that I think about it, Chief Du is a really busy man, juggling his tasks at the Bureau and at Fengdu, plus he has to go home often. Sometimes when I get up in the middle of the night, I would see him rush back here before having to leave again early in the morning. His heartfelt thoughts are highly commendable.”

Kou Xuanling was not shy about praising him and added, “I heard that there are only a few people in the Taoist Association who know about the true identity of Chief Du?”

“Certain people know. I heard it was because that person suddenly appeared in front of them when he came to the human realm, so it was mentioned to them.” Ma Shanfeng laughed, “It is so Chief Du’s style, though he is somewhat unreasonable sometimes, but he’s also open and honest, very straightforward.”

“It seemed like Director Chen did not know the identity of Chief Du before this?” When Kou Xuanling saw the surprised look from Ma Shanfeng, he quickly added, “But now he knows.”

Ma Shanfeng would never have thought that Du Shio would withhold such important information from Chen Yang, “How is Director Chen’s mood?”

Kou Xuanling thought for a moment and picked out the best word to describe their Director’s mood, “Calm.”

“The calmer it is, the more explosive it gets when it erupts. Underneath the calm river waters are the gurgles of rolling lava, once there’s a crack, the eruption will cause a large number of death and injuries.⁵ Ma Shanfeng expressed with heartfelt sympathy.

“Speaking from experience?” Kou Xuanling asked.

“I tried to hide some private savings from your sister-in-law ⁶, she was calm for a few days, while I feared for my life for those few days. And that was how, my hard-earned savings for more than a decade disappeared overnight.”

Ma Shanfeng sighed and after getting Kou Xuanling’s sympathetic gaze, he waved his hands dismissively and said, “It’s best not to get involved in Director Chen and Chief Du’s matters.”

After saying that, he turned around and headed back to the office. He closed the door behind him and the windows, making sure no one was looking, before taking out a box he hid securely and started counting all of his private savings to make sure none were missing. He shuddered, remembering when he just took himself as an example. The feeling of fear appeared again and he recounted his money again before finally letting out a sigh of relief.

—

After Zhu Qi reported to Du Shuo about the sanatorium, Du Shuo blandly responded that he knew about it and told him to take care of it. Zhu Qi felt like he should ‘brown’ the Emperor of Fengdu’s nose from time to time, so he quickly reported on the matters regarding their sister-in-law.

Du Shuo really got piqued by this, although his expression did not falter much, he was listening more carefully. As he listened, a subtle change in his expression appeared, “You are saying that you responded when Yang Yang shouted Zhu Qi of the Five Ghost Emperor, ruled by the Great Emperor of Fengdu’?”

Zhu Qi nodded, “Then I asked sis-in-law what’s up, he didn’t say anything.”

Looking at the serious and earnest look on Zhu Qi’s bearded face then remembering how he kept trying to brown nose him by mentioning ‘sis-in-law’ back and forth, Du Shuo nodded and forced a smile. That managed to shut Zhu Qi up and make him show a horrified expression.

“Zhu Qi.”

Zhu Qi shuddered as if hit by a wave of cold wind and responded soundlessly. 

“You go and govern Mt. Bozhong, it’s getting out of hand lately.”

Zhu Qi froze for a second before responding, “Isn’t there a Ghost Emperor governing there?”

Mt Bozhong was under the governance of the Western Ghost Emperor, and located very far from his Mt. Baodu. Plus, Mt. Bozhong in the Western region was known for its endless heap of workload.

“I know, but they need a hand.”

“Alright then. How about Mt. Baodu…”

“Still under your care.”

Zhu Qi looked at the Great Emperor with a hurt expression but finally left without uttering another word. He should have known that brown nosing was not his talent. 

Du Shuo had maintained a calm and cool attitude when Zhu Qi was still present. But as soon as Zhu Qi left, he quickly stood up and hurriedly left Fengdu before appearing at the entrance of the branch.

He walked to the first floor, feeling a very rare moment of hesitation. When he saw Kou Xuanling, who was painting a portrait of his ancestor, he asked, “How is Yang Yang today?”

Kou Xuanling put down his brush and pondered a while before answering, “Calm.”

Du Shuo had a bad feeling and that made him ever more hesitant, but he knew he would need to face this sooner or later. Kou Xuanling said to him solemnly, “You can do it. Take care!”

Du Shuo looked at the portrait on his desk coldly. Kou Xuanling did an action of zipping his mouth shut, also indicating that he would not be joining the show.

After Du Shuo went upstairs, Ma Shanfeng opened his door and ‘asked’ Kou Xuanling what happened without uttering a single word. The latter pointed upwards with his index finger and mouthed, “Went up.”

And so Ma Shanfeng notified Mao Xiaoli to keep an eye out on the situation. But of course she did not dare to do that out in the open, so she could only use the drone.

That thing was given by a certain Taoist daozhang, one that was after Kou Xuanling, as a bribe. Now it was coming in handy.

When Du Shuo heard a buzzing sound over his head, he glanced up and then looked at the direction of Mao Xiaoli’s room. 

The drone stayed still for some time before quietly returning to the room. Mao Xiaoli chickened out.

Kou Xuanling, “Chicken!”

Mao Xiaoli grunted, “You go ahead then!” No one dared to move. Even though Mao Xiaoli did not have the guts to peek but dared to eavesdrop.

Du Shuo wanted to knock on the door but stopped himself midway and instead opened the door using his key. Then he gave the door a few knocks before entering.

When he walked in, he found Chen Yang sewing something with his back facing the former. Du Shuo stood behind him and took a peek at what he was doing and realized Chen Yang was sewing his shirt. He was embroidering something, and the outline was a pig!

Du Shuo was quiet. Whenever Chen Yang was angry, he would secretly embroider different motifs of pigs on his clothes. When he was very angry, he would openly sew in front of him. It may seem like it was a harmless type of anger venting, but the truth was, Du Shuo had to wear these clothes to the office. Only then, would relieve Chen Yang’s anger.

Chen Yang, “You’re here?”

“Mn.” Du Shuo responded and sat next to him, watching quietly as the other embroidered a pig’s head. Then, he complimented his workmanship, “Very nice.”

Chen Yang swept over a glance at him, and very lightly, pulled his lips into a side smile, “Thank you,” after a second, he added, “It’s an honor.”

After saying that, he ended the stitch with a knot.

Du Shuo hurriedly handed him the scissors. Chen Yang took it and snipped the thread, then picked up the shirt and gave it a few shakes before checking out his pig head ‘masterpiece’.

Chen Yang had really good skills, the pig head looked really realistic! Too bad it was sewn right in the middle. When looking at it, one would marvel at the embroidery, but it was so embarrassing for one to wear it out in public. But Du Shuo could not hold back his compliment, “It’s really nice, Yang Yang has such skillful and nimble fingers ⁷.”

“No no no, I’m clumsy and slow. Otherwise, I would have known the real identity of the man I share a bed with ⁸ nor would I raise merits to help his promotion.” Chen Yang said as he placed the embroidered shirt on one side and picked up another piece to start to embroider.

Du Shuo roughly counted with his eyes, there were seven pieces of clothing. This could only mean that Chen Yang was really angry. Previously when he was angry, it would not exceed more than five pieces of pig head embroidered clothings. But now, he had prepared to embroider seven pieces, and this was all happening in front of him too!

The Great Emperor was guilty, so the Great Emperor coaxed in a soft voice, “It’s all my fault for not telling you before this. And that I’ve kept the truth from you.”

“You’ve dropped hints before. The half-jade thumb ring is the Emperor of Fengdu’s seal, I just didn’t notice it.” Chen Yang took the blame on himself but any one would know that he was furious, so furious that he didn’t want to take it out on others and even lazier to even find out who was the real culprit behind his anger.

Du Shuo held Chen Yang’s hand, the latter tried to break free but to no avail. Du Shuo kissed the back of Chen Yang’s hand and whispered, “Yang Yang please don’t be angry at me anymore, okay? I didn’t mean to lie to you, I just didn’t think there was a need to at first. Then later on, I didn’t know how to…”

When they first tied the knot, Du Shuo did not take their marriage seriously, therefore he did not reveal his identity. After he fell for him, it was even harder to even bring up the topic. Chen Yang was always anxious and worried for him, and his mind was full of him, making the Great Emperor want to keep hiding his identity. The thousand year old ‘youth’ had been single for all his life, skipped the whole part of dating and jumped straight to marriage, it was understandable he was unable to think through everything. And when he wanted to, he did not know how to bring this topic up.

Chen Yang had never doubted Du Shuo because he trusted those he loved and cared for, even when Du Shuo secretly gave him the half-jade ring that belonged to the Emperor of Fengdu as their wedding ring, to see if he could realize on his own. Who would have known that even after years, Chen Yang did not realize it. Du Shuo had no choice but to give himself the identity of the oppressed and exploited Hell servitor. He also had to give himself a raise! 

Whenever Chen Yang cursed him, he couldn’t follow suit and curse himself, so he could only silently nod in agreement.

Chen Yang did not look at Du Shuo directly, but just glanced over, “What else are you hiding from me?’

“No more.”

“Are you sure?”

Du Shuo nodded, then hesitated for a moment. Chen Yang noticed it and glared at him with scrunched up brows, “What else are you hiding from me? Spill.”

“The entire Fengdu knows about our relationship.”

“I kn-“ Chen Yang paused abruptly and glared at Du Shuo in disbelief. He had previously thought that Du Shuo was a mere Hell servitor so he would summon Fengdu’s Hell servitors casually. He thought that it was because Du Shuo made good connections with his fellow servitor colleagues and had asked them to help take care of him. Every time he sent away those ghosts to the netherworld, he did it as the companion of Du Shuo, he would also treat the servitors to a meal and give them some money for their hard work.

So those officers weren’t because Du Shuo helped networking, it was simply because he was their ‘sister-in-law’!

Du Shuo reassured him, “Some of the Hell servitors have no idea about this, they think it’s because you have ancestors working in the netherworld.” Although the majority of them are those who knew and would often fight over getting summoned by Chen Yang.

One of the reasons why the Hell servitors of Fengdu were eager to get summoned by Chen Yang was because he was generous. The other reason was because they all wanted to meet the wife of the Emperor of Fengdu and to pay respects to ‘sister-in-law’.

Chen Yang threw the clothes with embroidered pig heads into Du Shuo’s arms, then picked up another piece, intending to embroider an even bigger pig head, “You leave first, I don’t want to see you.”

Du Shuo grabbed Chen Yang’s hand and kissed it repeatedly, during which he kept staring into Chen Yang’s eyes, “Yang Yang…” he showed a pitiful expression. Du Shuo had always looked handsome and cold, for him to put on such a pitiful expression was unbearable and one would not bear to stay angry at him. But Chen Yang had been with him for many years, although he rarely saw him show any of his weaknesses, this time it was different.

Chen Yang pulled away his hand and pointed at the clothes in his arms, “You leave first, I don’t want to see you.”

Du Shuo instantly changed into one of the embroidered shirts and stood there in front of Chen Yang to help cool off his anger. Chen Yang looked at him, his facial expression unchanging. Du Shuo was at a loss. Defeated, he said, “I’ll go stand outside the door then.”

He repeatedly looked back while walking out the door, and at Chen Yang’s request he closed the door behind him. Once the door was closed, his expression immediately became cold again. He looked down at the embroidered pig head on his chest, his fingers grazed over the stitches as he praised his wife’s excellent craftsmanship. Although the pig head would tarnish the image of the Great Emperor, after staring at it for some time, it actually looked kinda cute.

The Great Emperor always thought that everything about Yang Yang was great, even the pig head embroidering on his clothes was especially adorable. He stood still in the doorway, thinking how he could cool off Chen Yang’s anger.

Ma Shanfeng passed by with a teacup in hand. He looked at the Great Emperor and then at the pig head on his chest, then calmly said, “I’ll go find Mao Xiaoli, I need to get her to finish her summer assignment.”

The Great Emperor looked at him expressionlessly. Ma Shanfeng walked past with a serious expression and knocked on Mao Xiaoli’s door. Only her head popped out by the door and her sight landed right on the pig head on Du Shuo’s chest. She moved aside to let Ma Shanfeng in before closing the door.

Du Shuo stared coldly at Mao Xiaoli’s door for a while before finally withdrawing his gaze. A long time later, Kou Xuanling passed by with a freshly painted portrait of the ancestors and stopped in front of Du Shuo, calmly explaining, “I want to let this painting dry faster. Mao Xiaoli’s balcony has the best wind. I’m going to borrow her balcony.”

After bidding a greeting, he knocked on Mao Xiaoli’s door, which then the heads of Mao Xiaoli and Ma Shanfeng appeared this time. Du Shuo looked over and asked softly, “Enjoying the show?”

The three slipped into the room in unison and closed the door before sitting down together and informing Zhang Qiudao to get back to join their ‘viewing party’. Also, they wanted to take another good look at the pig head on Du Shou’s chest. Mao Xiaoli couldn’t help but to praise, “Brother Chen’s embroidery skills are amazing, and that pig head is very cute!”

Kou Xuanling said, “Chen Yang is really angry, he even drove Chief Du out of the room to stand there as punishment. Chen Yang has always shown a good and obedient side in front of Chief Du. Their relationship has always been very good. But Chen Yang is so angry this time, will it affect their relationship?”

“No, they won’t get to bed angry [efn_note]To ‘fight at the head of the bead and compromise at the end’ means to fight/quarrel getting into bed and make up before falling asleep.[/efn_note]. Also, it’s very normal between couples, be it man and wife or man and husband. The more they fight, the more it deepens their relationship,” Ma Shanfeng shared.

Mao Xiaoli then asked, “Then we’ll just continue to watch the show and not help?”

“Let Uncle Ma give you a word of advice, one should never interfere in other people’s love life.”

“What if Chief Du comes to our door?” Mao Xiaoli asked.

“Give him friendly advice.”

“Deputy Ma sounds like you are very experienced?” Du Shuo suddenly appeared behind Ma Shanfeng, who then calmly stood up and faced him. Du Shuo sat down, “How about giving me a little friendly advice?”

“No problem,” Ma Shanfeng pointed at Du Shuo and then at himself, “experienced two.”

Mao Xiaoli and Kou Xuanling tried to disappear into the background, crouching quietly at the side, not uttering even a single word.

But Du Shuo still priced them and eyed the two silently. Despite their effort to stay out of it, the two could not withstand Du Shuo’s cold and stern gazed, they quickly slipped out of the room.

After closing the door behind them, Mao Xiaoli suddenly reacted, “Why was I kicked out of my own room?”

“You need to pay to watch the show.” Kou Xuanling said and went back downstairs to his room, he still needed to dry his ancestor’s portrait. Mao Xiaoli pondered on it for a while and thought she could stay and continue to spectate, but she did not have the guts to. She might as well go downstairs and wait for Zhang Qiudao to come back and get him to join her. So she followed the other to head downstairs and went to wait for Zhang Qiudao in the living hall.

Du Shuo and Ma Shanfeng discussed behind closed doors for half an hour.

Half an hour later, Du Shuo went back to their room and closed the door. Chen Yang did not come down even until night time.

During dinner, Zhang Qiudao had rushed back to see the show, but was greeted by nothing but a tightly shut door. After dinner, during dessert time, the few of them hung out around the courtyard. Mao Xiaoli was very curious, “Uncle Ma, what tricks did you teach Chief Du?”

“No tricks. What tricks do I have? Don’t interfere in other’s marriage, that’s my advice as those who have experience,” Ma Shanfeng beamed an honest smile, “Couple should never go to bed angry, small fights and conflicts between married couples are very normal.”

Kou Xuanling and Zhang Qiudao glanced at each other before glancing over to see the puzzled Mao Xiaoli. They chuckled at how Ma Shanfeng perfectly averted the question and felt that it was true how they said older gingers are spicier ⁹. They made a mental note to never offend the old and wise Ma Shanfeng.

The next day, Chen Yang and Du Shuo were out, as if there was never a conflict from last night.

Chen Yang walked Du Shuo out and passed him breakfast, “Busy day?”

Du Shuo cupped Chen Yang’s face and repeatedly planted kisses, the two of them very intimate. After agreeing, he added, “I still have some loose ends to sort out from last time, I’ll only be back a night.”

“Not coming back for lunch then?”

“I’ll try. I’ll text you when I have time.”

“Alright then, I’ll be waiting for you.”

Chen Yan watched Du Shuo leave and was greeted by four pairs of eyes from Ma Shanfeng and the rest when he turned around.

“Yeah?”

The four of them quickly scanned past the crimson marks on Chen Yang’s neck, shook their heads and continued to eat their porridge. When Chen Yang got back up to his room to replace the sleep he missed, the other two, besides Mao Xiaoli, looked at Ma Shanfeng with meaningful gazes.

Mao Xiaoli was still puzzled, “Uncle Ma, did Brother Chen forgive Chief Du already?”

“Yeah, they’ve reconciled.”

“But then why is Chief Du still wearing the embroidered pig head top?”

“Forgiveness does not mean one can avoid the punishment. Plus, when the two of them have made up, the punishment is also a form of public display of affection. Do you understand?”

Mao Xiaoli shook her head, not understanding. She looked at Zhang Qiudao and Kou Xuanling, “Do you guys understand?” The two shook their heads too.

—-

Zhu Qi could not control his gaze as they would always glance towards the pig head on the Great Emperor’s chest. Finally unable to resist, he asked the question. In return, he only got a meaningful glance and a grin from the Great Emperor.

“Yang Yang embroidered this for me.”

“Sister-in-law has such skillful hands, and has such unique taste!”

Du Shuo sneered.

Zhu Qi said dryly. “The Emperor and sister-in-law are so lovey dovey. A match well made in heaven.”

Du Shuo’s face looked slightly better.

The author has something to say:

Fengdu Hell servitor: There’s a pig head embroidery on the Great Emperor’s top?

Zhu Qi: What do you know. Sister-in-law embroidered it!

Fengdu Hell servitor: Sister-in-law has such skillful hands, and has such unique taste!

 

 

 

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