Cataclysm Chapter 96: The Mortality Meter 02

Chapter 96: The Mortality Meter 02

Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: Karai

 

After seeing Mao Xiaoli off, Zhang Qiudao calmly returned to the branch office. He curled up on the sofa, pulled out his phone, and started gaming. After an hour, he exited the game and opened WeChat, staring blankly at Mao Xiaoli’s profile picture.

Chen Yang patted his shoulder. “Want to grab a barbecue tonight?”

Zhang Qiudao snapped out of his daze and declined, “I think I’ll just head back to my room to rest.” As he started upstairs, he paused midway and turned back. “Brother Chen, do you think my talent isn’t good enough?”

He rarely addressed him as “Brother Chen,” and when he did, it usually meant he was deeply troubled.

Chen Yang replied, “Depends on who you’re comparing yourself to. In the eyes of most exorcists, your talent is exceptional. Compared to others, you’re already more than good enough.”

Zhang Qiudao was silent for a moment before saying, “I was just thinking—if I had better talent and stronger skills, I could protect Mao Xiaoli more effectively. She wouldn’t need to push herself to awaken because of this incident.”

Chen Yang shrugged. “I don’t know exactly what happened between you two, but Xiaoli would’ve awakened eventually. It was only a matter of time. This incident is just the catalyst. Look at it another way—you’re the reason she awakened.”

Zhang Qiudao murmured, “Maybe.”

Kou Xuanling strolled over to Chen Yang and whispered, “How is he?”

“His mood’s pretty low—not looking great,” Chen Yang replied, feeling troubled. As the head of the branch, he was also concerned about the emotional well-being of his team. “I have no idea what Xiaoli and Qiudao are discussing on WeChat or how far things have progressed between them.”

Kou Xuanling was surprised. “Did they ever start? How can there be progress without a beginning?”

Chen Yang was momentarily speechless. “Maybe Qiudao confessed on WeChat. Besides, it’s so obvious that he got injured for Xiaoli—she’d have to be clueless not to notice. And her awkward attitude toward him after that makes it clear. Even if Qiudao hasn’t confessed, she probably already knows.”

“Or maybe Mao Xiaoli is just a straight girl! If no one spells it out for her, she’d never figure it out!” Kou Xuanling firmly believed that Mao Xiaoli hadn’t realized Zhang Qiudao’s feelings.

Chen Yang disagreed. “Weren’t you and Lu Xiuzhi together?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Chen Yang scoffed and said no more. If even an old-fashioned guy like Kou could fall for someone, Mao Xiaoli—who was simply inexperienced in romance—would surely notice Zhang Qiudao’s feelings. But precisely because of that possibility, Chen Yang was worried. If Mao Xiaoli had noticed Qiudao’s feelings but pretended not to, that was a bad sign.

Kou Xuanling changed the subject. “I need to buy some alcohol for tonight’s barbecue. What’s your pick?”

“Baijiu,” Chen Yang answered. He glanced at Kou’s shopping list, which included drinks requested by other members of the branch. “Get some baijiu, chilled beer, and wine. Skip the fruit wine—we’ll just have Uncle Ma contribute a jar of his own brew and chill it. Oh, and get some fruity drinks for Kui Xuan. Also, grab a few bottles of Cat Cat-brand red wine. Big Fatty is definitely not leaving the branch tonight.”

Kou Xuanling added a few more items to the list and then asked, “Should we get some fruit beer too? Two of the four female jiangshi from Kui Xuan’s tomb are coming, and along with Ji Jiang, they might prefer fruit wine—but we could let them try fruit beer too.”

“The fruit beer sold outside won’t be as good as Uncle Ma’s homemade fruit wine, so just get a little for novelty. As for baijiu, pick a good brand. My old buddy Du doesn’t like barbecue—says it’s too greasy—but he loves his alcohol. He’ll sip away and down half a bottle in less than 30 minutes.”

Chen Yang sounded mildly annoyed. “Old man tastes.”

Hearing this, Kou Xuanling hesitated. “Do you think Ah Zhi’s tastes will be the same as Director Du’s?”

“From my observation, Uncle Ma’s tastes align with Du’s,” Chen Yang replied, implying that all older men had similar preferences.

Kou Xuanling concluded, “Then I’d better stock up.”

“Alright,” Chen Yang replied. “The meat, vegetables, and barbecue sauce are all ready, right? Ji Jiang and the others have already started setting up the area. Aunt Ma will also come tonight, and it seems like she’s bringing a friend along. A lively crowd sounds good.”

Kou Xuanling said, “No problem. We bought plenty. Ji Jiang is thoughtful and well-prepared.”

Chen Yang took out his second piece of candy for the day, unwrapped it, and tossed it into his mouth, savoring it without chewing. “I’ve been wondering—what exactly happened between Xiaoli and Qiudao at the Wei Family’s Collection Museum?”

Kou Xuanling shook his head. “No idea. There was a period when we were separated. By then, the museum had turned into a passage connecting the mortal world and the Avici Hell—vast and seemingly endless. One wrong turn, and I got separated from Mao Xiaoli. Later, I found A Zhi, and he told me Qiudao had also split off from him. In that passage, a single misstep could lead you into an unknown space. By the time we regrouped, Mao Xiaoli told us she and Qiudao were ambushed by vengeful spirits. Qiudao had distracted them so she could escape.” He paused, then added, “Xiuzhi said that if we wanted to save Qiudao, the best move would be to find you first.”

“I know.” When Chen Yang found Qiudao, he noticed a piece of cloth on him. The cloth had Daoist scriptures, written in cloud-like characters, praising deities and their virtues. This scripture, called the Zhuzhen Baogao, was an essential Daoist text used in rituals to venerate Daoist gods. Kou Xuanling used to recite it during every offering ceremony, praising the ancestors in ornate language.

The Zhuzhen Baogao was an extraordinary artifact, a fast track for cultivation, and a tool for warding off evil. Each Daoist deity had its unique scripture, all with exorcising powers. Back then, Lu Xiuzhi must have given Qiudao a cloth containing part of his own Zhuzhen Baogao for protection. But in the Infernal Hell passage, the vengeful spirits were too numerous to fend off completely.

As for why Xiu Zhi asked Chen Yang to find Qiudao, it was obvious—Chen Yang’s relationship with Du Shuo allowed him to move freely through the Infernal Hell without alerting the Netherworld authorities. If Xiu Zhi barged into the Infernal Hell openly, it would undoubtedly draw attention. The Infernal Hell was a heavily guarded place where disturbances were not taken lightly. If a deity waltzed in, people might think he was planning a jailbreak.

Such chaos would also give vengeful spirits a chance to sneak into the mortal world, creating even bigger problems.

Chen Yang shook his head. “It seems that even if we want to help, there’s nothing we can do.”

Kou Xuanling responded, “Let’s leave it to fate.”

He took the liquor order list to find Ji Jiang, asking her to handle the shopping. Chen Yang, on the surface, casually returned to his room. But as soon as he closed the door, he tiptoed off to steal candy. The candies at home were always left out in plain view on a cabinet, easy to spot. Du Shuo never worried about Chen Yang stealing them because he always knew how many there were.

Every two or three days, Du Shuo would count the candies, and if the numbers didn’t add up, he’d know Chen Yang had taken some. Chen Yang would shamelessly deny it, but even when caught, he didn’t care. He’d just steal again next time.

After carefully observing the room to ensure Du Shuo hadn’t returned yet, Chen Yang unwrapped his last candy for the day, took two more candy wrappers from his pocket, and added them to a small jar he kept for storing wrappers. These wrappers were crucial. For instance, after sneaking candies from the jar, he would buy replacement candies and rewrap them to cover his tracks.

He had no idea where Du Shuo bought these unique candies—the flavor was unmatched, and he couldn’t find the source no matter how hard he tried. If he could, he would have secretly bought two truckloads for himself long ago. Why rely on Du Shuo’s daily ration of three candies?

Chen Yang pulled out a handful of candies—about seven or eight—and quickly stuffed them into his pocket, closing the candy jar lid. He then took the jar of candy wrappers to the table, retrieved a bag of regular candies from beneath it, and started rewrapping them with the original wrappers. He carefully wrapped seven or eight pieces, making sure the folds looked natural and the wrapping was tight. Unless someone unwrapped them and compared them to the originals, no one would notice the difference.

Feeling smug, Chen Yang grinned. “I’ve honed this skill through hard work and dedication.”

“What skill?”

The sudden voice startled Chen Yang so much that he almost flung the candy in his hand. Luckily, he reacted quickly, tossing the candy wrappers back into the little jar and shoving the ordinary candies under the table. On the surface, only seven or eight candies remained, sitting there pitifully and helplessly.

Du Shuo wrapped his arms around Chen Yang’s waist from behind, resting his chin on Chen Yang’s shoulder. He squinted slightly, staring at the candies on the table, and asked in an even, calm tone, “Yangyang, what’s this?”

Chen Yang replied calmly, “A feast for the eyes.”

Du Shuo asked, “You finished today’s candy already?”

“No.” Chen Yang thought of the seven or eight candies hidden in his pocket. Despite his guilty conscience, he managed to respond without even blinking, “There are still two left.”

“Oh. Yangyang has shown great self-control today. It’s almost sunset, and you still have two candies left,” Du Shuo remarked with no change in expression. His hand reached for Chen Yang’s earlobe and neck, where he pressed a slightly cool kiss.

Chen Yang turned his head to see Du Shuo, bare-chested, wearing only a bath towel around his waist. His hair was still wet, uncombed, and dripping. Surprised, Chen Yang asked, “Old Du, are you okay? Did something happen?” For someone as image-conscious as Du Shuo, wandering around the room with messy, wet hair and just a towel was uncharacteristic and undignified.

Du Shuo sat down, still holding Chen Yang in an affectionate embrace. “I heard some noise from the bathroom earlier and guessed you were back. I rushed out with just a towel, or I wouldn’t have caught you here… Ah, ‘a feast for the eyes,’ indeed.”

Chen Yang silently berated himself for being too careless and not checking the bathroom earlier. He could only maintain his composure as he picked up the candies and said, “I’ll put them back.”

He stood up and walked over to the cabinet where the candy jar was kept. Just as he was about to toss the candies inside, Du Shuo’s voice stopped him. “Don’t put them in just yet. Bring them over here.”

Chen Yang’s hand trembled, and all the candies fell into the jar. He stirred them around for good measure before turning back and handing the jar to Du Shuo, saying, “You should’ve said something earlier. I already tossed them in.”

Du Shuo’s smile didn’t reach his eyes as he opened the jar, sifting through the candies until he pulled out eight pieces. Chen Yang’s heart pounded in his chest.

“Dare to unwrap one?” Du Shuo asked.

“Nope,” Chen Yang refused outright.

Du Shuo chuckled. “If you unwrap one, I’ll let you eat it.” But Chen Yang righteously refused, claiming he was protecting his teeth. Hearing this, Du Shuo let out a cold laugh, his long fingers picking up a candy. He unwrapped it, revealing it was an ordinary one. He let out another cold laugh before unwrapping a second candy.

When he unwrapped the third candy, Chen Yang turned and bolted for the door. Du Shuo was quick, though, catching him in one swift motion. His long legs pinned Chen Yang’s lower body, and he grabbed both of Chen Yang’s wrists, pressing him against the door. “What did you do that made you want to run?”

“I was going to check if the grill was set up.”

“It’s still early. Why don’t you explain how other candies ended up in the jar?”

“I have no idea. You bought them—how would I know?” Chen Yang feigned an innocent, clueless expression. “No wonder a few of them tasted different and a bit off recently. Old Du, did someone scam you? You’re inexperienced, and regular customers are easy targets. Don’t worry, give me their contact info, and I’ll handle it.”

Du Shuo bit Chen Yang’s lip lightly, his tone helpless as he said, “Yangyang, every jar of candy and every wrapper has a number on it. I memorized the numbers on the wrappers of the candies I gave you. So, care to explain why I found wrappers with matching numbers in the jar, and inside those wrappers were regular candies?”

Chen Yang’s eyes widened in disbelief. He never imagined Du Shuo could go to such lengths. “You even number the wrappers?! You’re so calculating!” He puffed up angrily, clearly unhappy. “I’m upset! This means you don’t trust me. If you don’t even trust me over something this small, how can I not be disheartened—ow! Why did you bite me?”

Du Shuo wasn’t even mad anymore. With an exasperated tone, he said, “Didn’t I tell you multiple times to have some restraint? You’re going to ruin your teeth and end up needing repairs. Then you won’t even be able to eat anything cold!”

“That doesn’t mean you have to number every wrapper.”

Du Shuo pinched Chen Yang’s earlobe. “I made the candies and wrappers by hand myself. Do I not have the right to number them?”

Chen Yang’s jaw dropped in shock as he cupped Du Shuo’s large hand. “You made the candies yourself?” No wonder there weren’t any manufacturer logos or contact info on the wrappers. He couldn’t find them anywhere, and even when he asked Kou Xuanling and the others, they didn’t have an answer.

Realizing this, Chen Yang’s earlier anger deflated like a balloon pricked by a tree branch. He softened immediately, holding onto Du Shuo’s hand and swaying it back and forth. “Why would you go through all that trouble? Isn’t it a hassle?” As he spoke, he stood on tiptoe and gave him a quick peck, then another.

Chen Yang had this talent—he could make Du Shuo angry and then melt his heart in seconds. Du Shuo thought this as he gave in, letting Chen Yang get closer. Picking him up, he placed him on the sofa and tossed a hairdryer into his hands. “Dry my hair for me.”

Chen Yang grabbed the hairdryer, lying across Du Shuo’s back like a sloth, his free hand running fingers through Du Shuo’s damp hair. He turned on the dryer and began working on it. Halfway through, he noticed water droplets sliding from Du Shuo’s neck to his chest, then down over his abs, disappearing under the towel.

Tempted, Chen Yang switched off the dryer, set it on the table, and flipped over like a slippery fish into Du Shuo’s lap. He latched onto Du Shuo’s collarbone, mumbling, “Forget drying your hair. I’m hungry.”

Du Shuo’s gaze darkened, his hand sliding from Chen Yang’s neck down his back and slipping under his shirt. “I’ll make sure you’re full…”

From the courtyard of the division building, the faint sound of laughter and the distinct aroma of barbecue wafted through, breaching even the layers of blankets that covered Chen Yang. The smell tickled his nose, and he twitched it instinctively, suddenly waking up. The bedroom was dimly lit, the curtains drawn to create the perfect sleeping environment.

Du Shuo opened the door and, seeing Chen Yang awake, walked over and began massaging his sore waist. “Are you coming downstairs?”

Chen Yang felt incredibly comfortable as he was massaged and let out a low “Mn.” After the two shared a moment of intimacy, he got out of bed. Once he finished freshening up, he followed Du Shuo downstairs. The moment they stepped into the courtyard, someone handed him a skewer. Seeing Kou Xuanling’s bright, expectant gaze, Chen Yang kindly sat down and began grilling for them.

A female jiangshi named Ding stood beside Chen Yang, observing his techniques. Chen Yang looked confused until Ji Jiang explained, “Her name is Ding. She was once a renowned chef in Qin. She wants to learn culinary skills from you.”

The jiangshi named Ding bowed deeply to Chen Yang as a sign of apprenticeship. Chen Yang replied, “No need for formalities. If you want to learn, just watch. Feel free to ask questions if you’re unsure. I’m not great at teaching, but I’ll try to answer your doubts.”

The jiangshi bowed again to express her gratitude. By now, Chen Yang was used to it. After all, with more jiangshi appearing in the division, receiving multiple bows was just something he had grown accustomed to. Among the barbecue crew, only Chen Yang, Ding, and Aunt Ma could actually grill. The rest of the group was notorious for ruining good ingredients, so they shamelessly relied on the few who could cook while occasionally passing over ingredients.

While grilling, Chen Yang noticed two unfamiliar faces. They must have been the guests Aunt Ma had brought. However, they seemed very familiar with Kou Xuanling. Were they old friends? With that thought, he asked Aunt Ma, who was sitting nearby.

Aunt Ma confirmed, “Yes, they are acquaintances. Those two are members of the main bureau and have worked with Xuanling before.”

“Are they here to see Old Kou?”

“No,” Aunt Ma replied, dipping a brush into some honey glaze. “They’re here to get information from Zhang Qiudao. This time’s ‘obstacle course’ is rumored to have been set by the Zhang family. They’re also planning to attend the Daoist Exchange Conference, so they came early to gather intel. Unfortunately, Qiudao is holed up in his room playing video games because of some romantic troubles.”

“But doesn’t he need to stay out of the loop for something like this?”

“Not at all. It’s not some big exam requiring impartiality. It’s just about getting a spot in the conference. If there’s no spot, they’ll create one themselves as long as they pass the ‘obstacle course.’ That’s why the obstacles set for the Daoist Exchange Conference are more of a formality than a real challenge.”

“So Qiudao does know about it?” Chen Yang asked, feeling confused.

Aunt Ma shook her head. “He doesn’t. The Zhang family operates differently from other places. They claim to be fair and impartial, but everyone knows they just enjoy making things difficult. They deliberately set up obstacles that are nearly impossible to pass. The more complaints and frustrations they hear from other Daoists, the happier they are. The worse the insults, the more delighted they seem. They’re inherently mischievous but maintain a perfect public image.”

Chen Yang took the brush Aunt Ma handed him and started applying glaze to his chicken wings. “I don’t quite get it.”

Aunt Ma, who was more impatient than her husband Ma Shanfeng, rolled her eyes. “Still don’t understand? The Zhang lineage keeps their knowledge and techniques within the family. So no matter how tough the obstacles are, their descendants won’t be stopped. For them, it’s just a trip back home. Are other Daoists supposed to stop them from going back to their own house? Meanwhile, the other Daoists are left struggling and scared out of their wits, wishing they could burn the Zhang family estate to the ground.”

“Are they really that terrible? Qiudao seems like a decent guy, aside from his gaming addiction.”

Aunt Ma patted Chen Yang affectionately on the shoulder. “You’re so naïve.”

Chen Yang was left speechless. Why did Aunt Ma even marry Ma Shanfeng?

Aunt Ma saw right through Chen Yang’s thoughts and directly said, “It’s because I was inexperienced back then. In my time, transportation was inconvenient. If you saw someone halfway decent-looking within ten miles, you thought they were a godsend. Later, after I’d seen more of the world, it was too late to regret it. I could only keep gnawing at the bone, drink water, and make do. Even if it’s old, dry, and tough, it still fills you up.”

Chen Yang was speechless with admiration.

Out of the corner of her eye, Aunt Ma spotted Kui Xuan and quickly waved, “Granny’s little Kui Xuan! Come see what Granny brought for you!” She pulled Kui Xuan into her arms, placed the grilled chicken wings onto a plate, and eagerly pulled a green lace dress from the cloth bag at her feet. “Look at this, isn’t it beautiful? Do you like it?”

Hearing Kui Xuan cheerfully exclaim “Beautiful!” and “I like it!” Chen Yang felt numb. He leaned toward Ji Jiang and asked in a low voice, “When is Kui Xuan’s sense of aesthetics going to normalize?”

Ji Jiang sighed helplessly, “They’re relentless.” Never underestimate grandparents’ terrifying energy and knack for seizing every opportunity. No matter how hard she tried, Ji Jiang couldn’t withstand Ma Shanfeng and Aunt Ma’s omnipresence.

She added, “Kui Xuan has lived for over two thousand years and never gained weight, but today, she weighed herself and found she’s two pounds heavier!”

Two pounds might not sound like much, but to Ji Jiang, it was alarming. Her panic only grew when Big Fatty sauntered over.

Ma Shanfeng set a plate of grilled meat in front of Big Fatty and opened a bottle of cat-safe red wine. Surrounded by spirits, gods, and humans, Big Fatty hugged the wine bottle and gnawed on the grilled meat, living the life of indulgence. But hold up—there were already six layers of fat on that belly!

Chen Yang reached out and pinched the fat on Big Fatty’s belly. After a long silence, he said, “Big Fatty, keep up the good work maintaining your figure.”

Big Fatty raised a paw to swat Chen Yang away but caught sight of Du Shuo and Kou Xuanling’s dark stares. Reluctantly, the cat swapped to using its paw pads to knead and massage instead. Deep down, it made a mental note of this humiliation—until the shame melted away with the taste of Chen Yang’s grilled pork belly.

After stuffing themselves, the two main bureau members Aunt Ma had brought along finally remembered their purpose. Glancing around the crowd without spotting Zhang Qiudao, they casually asked, “We heard there’s a descendant of the Zhang celestial family in this division. Why haven’t we seen him?”

Kou Xuanling replied, “He’s recovering from injuries.”

The man paused, “He’s injured?”

“You could say that. He’s suffered both physically and emotionally.”

“Will he still participate in the Daoist Exchange Conference?”

“Nope,” Kou Xuanling said, biting into a perfectly grilled piece of pork belly and chasing it with a sip of chilled bayberry wine. The greasy flavor was immediately washed away.

“Aren’t you going to the Zhang family estate?”

“Yep, as tourists.”

The two main bureau members were speechless. They, of course, understood the subtext. Kou Xuanling’s brazen attitude was shamelessly forthright. Their attempts to probe him all afternoon had failed, even with appeals to old camaraderie, to extract any information about the “obstacles.”

At that moment, the two bureau members received simultaneous messages from the Daoist Association. Reading the details about the announced “obstacle,” their hearts sank.

Chen Yang exchanged glances with the others as Ma Shanfeng pulled out his phone to read the message aloud. “The Mortality Meter?”

Kou Xuanling leaned over for a look. “What’s that?”

“It’s a newly developed app,” Ma Shanfeng explained. “Based on principles of fate and numerology, it calculates your time and method of death once you input your name and birthdate.”

Chen Yang sucked in a cold breath. “That’s extreme!”

“Of course, it’s not real,” Ma Shanfeng said. “They’ll distribute fake birth dates to everyone. The task will be to survive past your predicted death time.”

 

 

 

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