Chapter 69: Will You Regret This?

Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: Karai

No matter how reluctant Zhou Yunchen felt, he dared not linger. He held his breath and straightened, only letting it out slowly once his breathing had moved beyond Lu Yao’s tactile range.

Lu Yao’s sleeping face was calm and warm, curled up on the sofa like a small, vulnerable creature. Zhou Yunchen returned to his seat and simply watched him. Hours passed until the horizon swallowed the last of the sunlight, leaving only the brilliant glow of dusk. Lu Yao stirred, his body shimmering in the soft evening light, blinking slowly. “Training… is over?” His voice was still slightly hoarse.

“Yes, it’s over.” Zhou Yunchen replied. Lu Yao pushed himself up slowly from the sofa. Zhou Yunchen rose as well, stepping forward to help untangle the strands of hair tucked into his collar. Lu Yao accepted the gesture quietly.

When the two of them pushed the door open, they found Elaine leaning on her hand, dozing lightly. Lu Yao patted Zhou Yunchen’s shoulder and nudged him to change back into his own clothes first. When they returned, Elaine was awake.

“This session went quite well. I think we can increase the pace. The next one will also be in three days. Does that work?”

“I don’t mind.” Lu Yao looked at Zhou Yunchen. “Next time, you can just wake me up directly, so we won’t waste time.”

“I have time to stay with you,” Zhou Yunchen replied. “Three days later, same time?”

“Yes, afternoon again.” With the schedule settled, Lu Yao let Zhou Yunchen leave first. He still had questions for Elaine. Zhou Yunchen did not insist and hurried off before him.

“Sit,” Elaine said.

“No need.” Lu Yao shook his head. “I don’t have much to say—mainly, I need a favor.”

“I’m your paid physician. Even if all you do here is sleep, it’s billed by the hour. You don’t need to ask favors.”

“I… it’s not about me. It’s about Zhou Yunchen.” Lu Yao hesitated, then asked, “Elaine, you’ve cooperated with the military for a long time. Do you know who conducted Zhou Yunchen’s post-combat psychological evaluations?”

Elaine raised an eyebrow. “Zhou Yunchen has served nearly thirty years, rising steadily through the ranks. He’s probably had many psychologists. You think his mental state is… off?”

“There are some concerns.” Lu Yao wasn’t sure if it stemmed from Zhou Yunchen’s personality or from fifteen years drifting alone in the void of space.

No matter how advanced interstellar technology was, such accidents still occurred. Lu Yao had heard of many who lost contact with human civilization for years, drifting alone in space. A few days or months could be recovered from, but years of solitude could drive someone to madness. Often, rescue teams would only find the remains of those who had succumbed to despair.

Even with sufficient oxygen, food, energy, and fully functioning engines, solitude and hopelessness could drain the courage of anyone. Zhou Yunchen had spent fifteen years alone in space…

Upon returning to normal space-time, he had not reported his experiences, either for safety, career considerations, or because his mental state might have already been at its limit. In the official records, there was no long gap—he quickly resumed duty and continued to face uncertain battles. Did the psychologists at the time not notice anything unusual? Elaine asked, “Well, the doctors who did assessments in recent years are…”

“No, not recent years. I want to know who was responsible in the year 5809, and roughly what the evaluation said.”

Elaine’s expression tensed. “Patient privacy… you know, psychologists don’t disclose that information.”

“I don’t need details.” Lu Yao considered carefully. “Just the general picture. I want to know if his mental state then could have influenced who he is now.”

“Alright, I’ll try,” Elaine said reluctantly. “But why 5809?”

“Zhou Yunchen led a difficult mission that year… his team was almost completely wiped out. I want to know how he fared mentally during that period, whether it affected him afterwards.”

At the Military Logistics Base, Elaine walked into the base cafeteria, picked up some fruit salad from the self-serve station, and began pacing with the tray, looking around. A young officer, assuming she was seeking a seat, called out kindly, “Dr. Elaine, there’s a seat here.”

Elaine smiled. “Thank you, but I’m looking for someone.” The officer, slightly disappointed, left her alone.

Elaine circled the cafeteria a few more times, finally spotting her target: a middle-aged male Beta, seated in a corner, reviewing documents while eating. “Dr. Pollard, good afternoon. May I sit here?”

Pollard looked up. “Please do, Dr. Elaine. It’s been a long time. I remember you’ve been busy running your private practice, rarely coming here. What brings you today?”

“Some private matters,” Elaine said. “General Lockmont asked me to provide marital counseling for him and his wife. I’m here to deliver the report.”

“General Lockmont? He’s trying to salvage his marriage?” Pollard exclaimed, then lowered his voice, realizing the public space. “Honestly, new-earth people shouldn’t marry Connexians. They’re just… incompatible. Mrs. Dreyer is a typical Connexan.”

“Yes. And our new-earth folks are so conservative, still clinging to old Earth notions of love and marriage. Connexians don’t play by those rules—they like one person today, another tomorrow, raise children via ex-situ methods, sign property agreements… General Lockmont wants to be everything at once: husband, lover, friend. He can’t manage it all. And I heard he insists on natural childbirth?”

“You know I can’t disclose patient information.”

“This isn’t really patient information—it’s just gossip that’s already everywhere. Connexians definitely wouldn’t want natural conception without gene selection or controlled breeding; they think the children born that way would be too weak. So General Lockmont ran to the reproductive specialists, insisting that the fertilized egg be placed in his alpha womb, which is naturally underdeveloped. Cross-galaxy, cross-cultural relationships are never reliable.”

“Indeed,” Elaine said quietly, listening to Pollard ramble. “The universe is vast, and humans are both insignificant and unique within it.” She allowed the conversation to shift toward her purpose. “Military personnel like General Lockmont, who spend their days drifting among the stars, feel their own existence acutely and cling even more tightly to their beliefs. Dr. Pollard, you’ve conducted psychological evaluations for so many senior officers. You must have observed a lot.”

“More than you think… sigh…”

“Sometimes I wonder whether such experiences affect a person’s mentality, and therefore their relationships. Most senior officers’ romantic lives… are far from smooth.”

“Almost all have complications,” Pollard admitted, his gossip sparked again by Elaine’s words. “Recently, I heard that the divorced Zhou Yunchen has been seeing Lu Yao, seemingly trying to reconcile. Since you’re Lu Yao’s endocrine synchronist, do you know anything?”

“He doesn’t really talk about it. It’s more about resolving old emotional knots,” Elaine said. “Everyone has emotional baggage. Dr. Pollard, I remember you conducted psychological evaluations for Zhou Yunchen about a decade ago. That would have been around 5809, right? During that campaign when he almost lost his entire team?”

“Zhou Yunchen? I remember him very well. That incident left deep impressions. The fleet suffered huge losses, and the survivors inevitably carried psychological scars. But Zhou Yunchen… his heart was like a block of ice. Always cold, strict, and taciturn.”

“Did Zhou Yunchen’s psychologist really say that?” Lu Yao frowned.

“You don’t believe me?” Elaine asked. Lu Yao’s lips pressed into a thin line, giving no answer.

Elaine continued, “War can indeed leave irreparable scars on a soldier’s psyche, but that’s Zhou Yunchen. If he were truly fragile, he could never have become the Federation’s youngest fleet commander.”

“Or perhaps,” Lu Yao thought silently, “you already have your assumptions.”

He remained silent, his eyes lowered, a shadow crossing his expression. Fifteen years alone in the void could have made Zhou Yunchen quiet, hesitant, even timid—someone who would secretly kiss him while he slept but deflect when given a chance to express himself openly.

“Alright,” Elaine said. “If you don’t want to talk, that’s fine. This is your personal matter, not a psychological treatment issue. I won’t force you. But I hope you can find the answers you’re looking for today.”

“Mm…” Lu Yao glanced at the personal AI assistant. “Zhou Yunchen is on the way—ten minutes out.”

Today was the second pheromones adaptation training. Elaine would ask Zhou Yunchen to release more pheromones. Lu Yao changed into the training clothes, and when ready, Elaine notified him that Zhou Yunchen had arrived and was in the changing room. Lu Yao entered the room and waited.

The cushions and pillowcases had been replaced with a soft, light green. Soon, Zhou Yunchen entered. Lu Yao wanted to ask something, but hesitation held his words back. Before he could speak again, Elaine remotely instructed Zhou Yunchen to begin releasing pheromones.

Lu Yao swallowed his question and braced himself, keeping his mind clear to endure the training. Wave after wave of heat washed over him. He repeatedly told himself not to fall asleep. Zhou Yunchen would leave, and who knew when they would meet next?

After an hour, the session ended. Lu Yao’s back was drenched in sweat. As Zhou Yunchen walked past him, Lu Yao grabbed his sleeve. “Wait, don’t go.”

Looking down, Lu Yao saw Zhou Yunchen’s steps halt and turn back. “I’m just getting a towel and water. I’m not leaving.”

He let go temporarily. When Zhou Yunchen returned, he handed Lu Yao the water and used the towel to wipe the sweat from his forehead. Lu Yao’s cheeks glowed like sun-ripened peaches.

“What were you going to say earlier?” Zhou Yunchen asked. Lu Yao took a sip of water, letting the coolness soothe him, then lifted his head to look at Zhou Yunchen. “Would you regret it?”

“What?” Zhou Yunchen leaned over, puzzled by the sudden question.

“If I said… that night, three years ago, when we got married… if you had wanted to mark me, to be with me, I wouldn’t have refused. Zhou Yunchen… would you regret holding back everything you did just now?”

 

 

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