Insights Chapter 104: Nightmares

Chapter 104: Nightmares

Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: Karai

At night, the building in front was empty, an old building with some years on it.

“After I had money, I bought the entire building. It’s quiet here. Except for a weekly cleaning, no one will come. Don’t expect anyone to suddenly come and rescue you now.” After He Wenlin entered, he locked the heavy steel door behind him and then brought Shen Junci to the fifth floor. He had Shen Junci sit in a chair.

Shen Junci looked ahead, where there was a window about a meter above the ground. The window wasn’t large, about fifty centimeters in both length and width.

“On purpose, I didn’t hide my whereabouts. The police will come soon. It’s very difficult to break through the steel door downstairs, and the remaining doors and windows are all locked.” He Wenlin pointed to the window, “I think Gu Yanchen will come. This is the stage I prepared for you. You and I are actors, and those police officers coming soon will be the audience. Now, actors take your places, and let’s wait for the audience.”

Shen Junci asked, “What do you want the audience to see?”

“Appreciate death,” He Wenlin said, taking out a knife. He tested the sharpness of the knife near Shen Junci’s neck. With a light touch, he made a cut on the side of Shen Junci’s neck, drawing blood.

Shen Junci felt the stabbing pain on his neck. He endured the pain, looking at He Wenlin. The dark red blood slid down his neck, accumulating at his collarbone, then staining his collar red.

Looking at the blood on the knife, He Wenlin said, “Isn’t Captain Gu good with guns? Later, I will use this knife to kill you. He will watch from across, maybe even shoot.”

Shen Junci looked ahead. The window was quite small and high. Even if they stood up, only their heads and chests would be exposed. If He Wenlin stood behind him later, it would be difficult to aim at him.

He Wenlin looked at the opposite side as if there were dark gun muzzles, “I have estimated three outcomes. The first outcome is Gu Yanchen killing me with a headshot. The second is him watching me kill you, then killing me. This is the most likely outcome. The third outcome is his bullet missing and accidentally killing you. This is my favorite outcome. In the first outcome, I will be relieved. In the latter two, he will become a demon.”

Shen Junci asked, “Why are you so obsessed with turning people into demons?”

He Wenlin tilted his head, gazing at him for a moment, then sat on the sofa opposite in the room. “Because I’m alive but living in hell. I’m lonely and want someone to accompany me. Besides, what else do you want to know?”

Shen Junci asked, “Why do you kill?”

He Wenlin corrected him, “I haven’t killed in the past, at least not directly. Those people were killed by others.” But as the words came out, he felt something was off and adjusted, “To be precise, I just killed someone this afternoon. You might be the second.”

Shen Junci thought for a moment, then realized, “You killed Han Qingyi?”

He Wenlin nodded, “If we count the time, the police should have discovered his corpse. I haven’t killed many people, but I’ve witnessed a lot of deaths.”

Shen Junci looked at him, wondering how many. However, even if he had seen a lot of death, it couldn’t be as many as him.

But He Wenlin fell into his own emotions. He went to a nearby cabinet, took out a bottle of beer, opened it, and took a few sips. He sat on the sofa, looking at Shen Junci. He had hardly spoken to anyone about these things, but today, facing the possible end of his life, he felt like sharing.

“Well, since no one has come yet, I’ll tell you why I do these things. But this topic is a bit long and difficult for ordinary people to understand.” In the room, He Wenlin’s voice was low, “I have a sister, five years younger than me. I quite liked my sister. In the autumn of my thirteenth year, she was eight. We were playing near our home. I was doing homework outside, and she was flying kites with her friends. Later, the kite got stuck in a tree. My sister ran over and asked me to get it for her. The tree was about four meters tall, and I was at a critical point in a math problem. I was annoyed and told her to figure it out herself. After a while, I heard someone scream, and a child fell from the tree.” He paused, spreading his hands, “Fate is so helpless. It was my sister.”

Shen Junci estimated that with a fall from four meters, an eight-year-old girl could easily have died if she hit her head.

Sure enough, He Wenlin continued, “It was an accident. My sister died. I deeply regretted it. I often thought, if I had helped her, would the tragedy have happened? Or should I have stopped her or called an adult? My parents were angry amid their grief and blamed me.”

Shen Junci listened quietly. The death of a younger sister, the parents feeling he neglected her, clearly blamed him for her death. The death of a child is regrettable. If the person in front of him wasn’t the insane Dream Master, Shen Junci might have comforted him, but considering what he had done, causing harm to so many people, he wished he would suffer more.

He Wenlin continued, “My sister’s death did affect me, but not greatly, after all, the dead are already dead, and the living have to go on. But one night, I was asleep when suddenly someone rode on top of me and grabbed my neck. I opened my eyes to find it was my father. His eyes were red, his emotions intense. He said it was all my fault for not watching over my sister, why couldn’t it have been me who died. He said I must have said or done something to cause all this. He said it would have been better without me, that I’m a murderer. I later learned that the man I thought was my father wasn’t my biological father; he was just my foster father, and my sister was his biological daughter. So even though there were many people who could testify that my sister’s death had nothing to do with me directly, that man still suspected me with the worst intentions.”

Here, He Wenlin unconsciously touched his neck, seemingly recalling that pain. That night, he was awakened from his sleep. The father who had always been kind seemed like a different person, his face contorted, his hands tightly gripping his neck, cutting off his breath. He struggled to reach the bedside table and knocked over the alarm clock, which brought his mother. He remembered his mother rushing over and pulling away his father, repeatedly saying, “I promised to raise him!”

That night, he was close to death, terrified. He curled up in bed, listening to his parents arguing next door. That was when he learned he wasn’t their biological son. His parents had someone else. What devastated him the most was that he had always thought his parents loved him, and his childhood was happy. His parents often praised him for his good grades and said his sister wasn’t as good as him.

But he wasn’t his father’s son. His father’s kindness and love were all pretense. It was an inflated balloon, a bubble floating in the air, a sudden awakening from a beautiful dream. The fairy-tale illusion shattered, replaced by the cold reality.

After that, similar incidents never happened again, but there was still a huge rift between father and son. It seemed that since the day his sister died, he had never felt his parents’ love. He lived with someone who wanted to strangle him. From that day on, he and his parents were like strangers. He just lived in this house, ate, hardly talking or communicating with them.

Especially at night, when he would recall his foster father’s nightmarish expression, his father’s words seemed like curses. He often woke up from nightmares. He’s afraid he’ll die in his dreams one day and won’t see the sun of tomorrow. He started working early, earning money, desperately trying to escape the once warm home.

“I dare not sleep, suffer from insomnia for a long time, and can only fall asleep with sleeping pills,” He Wenlin said, drinking beer. “Later, I grew up, went to college, and chose law. I wanted to find answers in the law. If the law deems me innocent, then I am innocent. I supported myself with this belief. After graduating from college, I dated a girlfriend. She was a very nice girl, beautiful and gentle. When I was close to her, my heart was calm, lying beside her, I could sleep for a while. She studied education, and in order to live with me in Penang, she had to teach in a nearby county for a year to obtain Penang household registration.” He Wenlin’s voice choked, and he took another sip of beer, “We were in a long-distance relationship, but our feelings were always good. My career was also thriving, everything seemed to be getting better. On Christmas night that year, we were on our way back…” 

Shen Junci thought for a moment and calculated the time, “Was there an accident on the highway that night?” He was too sensitive to that date.

He Wenlin nodded, “Yes, it was a series of accidents on the highway, which caused seven deaths and more than a dozen injuries in total. The driver of our car died. I woke up first and wasn’t seriously injured, struggling out of the car. She was trapped in the car, covered in blood. She was still conscious, reaching out and saying she was scared, wanting me to save her, wanting me to accompany her.” His voice trembled, “But at that time, I chose to go for help. When I found someone to come back, the car was on fire. My girlfriend was burned to death in the car. My girlfriend’s parents later blamed me. They said if their daughter hadn’t been in a relationship with me, she wouldn’t have died. They accused me of not being able to save her, saying I was a murderer.”

As he described it, He Wenlin seemed to see the accident again, flames all around, screams echoing in his ears. He walked back and forth covered in blood, feeling like he was walking in hell. He was a jinx, bringing disasters and death to those around him. The cries and curses of his girlfriend’s parents merged with his father’s curses, like a curse on his life.

At this point, he lowered his head, “I want to find out why all this happened. When my family cleaned up the old house, I read my mother’s diary and discovered that I am someone who should not exist in this world. Later, I found out that humans are lonely. The love around us, the people around us disappear. Parents, sisters, friends, colleagues, all the people around you are insincere. No one can empathize with your pain. I feel like a beast trapped in a cage, all alone.”

Shen Junci looked at him. He gradually understood the formation of He Wenlin’s psychology. His girlfriend’s death gave him a second blow. He suspected He Wenlin had lied or hidden some truth. He might have said something that caused his sister to fall, he might have done something to let his girlfriend die. He was not innocent, so he was overwhelmed by his self-blame, plus the accusations from those people. On the surface, he seemed normal, but subconsciously, he believed he was deeply sinful and irredeemable.

That night not only gave birth to Shen Junci but also to the Dream Master belonging to darkness. The dreams of the Dream Master always represented nightmares. He plunged into hell, wanting others to accompany him. This mentality was like wishing others misfortune when you’re unlucky.

He Wenlin lowered his head, “Since that day, my insomnia has worsened, almost impossible to fall asleep. I need to take a lot of medication. When lying in bed, my mind keeps thinking about things. Every time I fall asleep, I dream of my sister falling from a height, my girlfriend calling my name, begging me to save her. Then I wake up from the nightmare. I won’t be punished by the law, but it seems like I live in this nightmare every moment. I can’t understand why I have to experience and suffer from these things, why I live in pain every day. I’m looking for a way to restore myself to my original state. Since I live in a painful hell, I hope to drag more people with me. In the past, I used to do legal aid, defending the poor and innocent, but that didn’t make me feel relaxed or happy.

“I started to contact those heinous criminals. The more serious their crimes, the happier I am. Only when I forgive them, only when I defend them, and win the lawsuit, do I feel that there are even more despicable people or things in this world. Even they can get forgiveness, clear their crimes, and sleep peacefully, what does everything I have done count for? I don’t believe in justice, nor do I care about evil, because everyone is the same. Since Cain killed his brother, we have all had original sin. But there are not enough extremely wicked people in this world, so I have a thought. Can I create some by my own efforts?

“I used to be good at discovering the dark side hidden by people, seeing through their greed, lust, jealousy, violence, and debauchery. So many people are imperfect, are bad people. I began to try to guide those people, take off their masks, and let them see what they really are.” The expression on his face turned into a grim smile, “Under my guidance, they gradually exposed their true selves. Zhao Meng’an’s twisted jealousy, Han Qingyi’s delusional greed, and those people’s malicious treatment of the elderly.” The smile on his face turned hysterical, “Watching them, I felt immense pleasure and satisfaction. They were all more disgusting than me. There are so many guilty people, no one can accuse me.”

He had a nightmare, with blood, death, flames, his sister’s fall, his lover’s bones, and people’s curses. After doing those things, his nightmares seemed to have substance and vitality. Bones turned into beauties, flames into coins, everything was covered with a veneer, hiding ugliness and sin. Many people initially stepped in, thinking it was a beautiful dream, only to realize they had long been in hell. The nightmare continued to expand, savage growth, dragging many people into it.

And he was the ruler of this world — the Dream Master.

He was like a mad sorcerer, luring those people into hell as his collection.

“Only by creating devils, only by watching them lose their humanity and reason, going crazy, committing murder, can I be comfortable. At that moment, I think, humans are all ugly, many people make mistakes, thinking like this, the flames burning me will gradually fade away.” With that, he finished his beer in one gulp, “Tonight, I will create the last devil, who may be stronger than me.”

Shen Junci asked, “Why Gu Yanchen?”

He felt that He Wenlin seemed to have an obsession with Gu Yanchen. He Wenlin paused for a moment and didn’t give a specific reason. He countered, “Don’t you think his life experience is similar to mine?”

Shen Junci frowned, pondering. It did seem to be the case. They had some similarities; Gu Yanchen’s father wasn’t his biological father, and he also had a sister. From these aspects, his life trajectory was somewhat similar to He Wenlin’s. But Gu Yanchen and He Wenlin were also completely different in personality, life experiences, and how they conducted themselves.

He Wenlin smiled and said, “I met Gu Yanchen at the police station. Compared to me, living in darkness, he’s too happy. Sometimes I wonder if I ever had a chance to be like him. Is it possible for him to become another me if he encounters the same things I did? So I want to know, if he experiences the same things as me, will he take the same path…I originally wanted to kill his sister first, but the girl has been staying at school recently. A few days ago, when I came to the hospital to scout, I found out that you would visit him…”

At this point, He Wenlin seemed to hear something. He stood up and looked outside, “The police car is here. Looks like they’re faster than I expected.”

Shen Junci lowered his head, closed his eyes, and his eyelashes fell. His lips were pressed harder together. Due to the wound on his neck, his lips were slightly pale, and there were cold sweat beads on his forehead. The blood had stained his clothes red.

He Wenlin thought he was contemplating his impending fate. From an angle he couldn’t see, Shen Junci’s right hand fingers were holding a knife, working hard to cut the ropes binding him. The blade was the front end of a scalpel, extremely sharp. He had sewn one into the pocket of the clothes he often wore, just in case. With a strong pinch, the knife could protrude from the pocket.

He had been engaging Dream Master in conversation to distract him. Now, half of the ropes had been cut, and his fingers were cut by the sharp blade. His wrist was numb, but Shen Junci seemed oblivious to the pain. He had to stay calm. If the blade fell to the ground or an accident occurred, he wouldn’t be able to cut the ropes. He never wanted to accept the fate arranged for him.

Dream Master had arranged three possible endings for him, but he didn’t want any of them. He believed there must be a fourth outcome waiting for them.