Insights Chapter 127: Accounts

Chapter 127: Accounts

Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: Karai

Shen Junci’s face flushed. He let go of Gu Yanchen and hurried to sit up, but accidentally pulled at the wound on his abdomen, quickly bending over and pretending to cough to cover it up. Gu Yanchen turned on the light, completely unaware of what Shen Junci was thinking. Seeing his flushed face, he took a thermometer from the bedside table and held it near his forehead.

The thermometer beeped, displaying a number. Gu Yanchen glanced at it. “36.5 degrees Celsius, no fever.”

Shen Junci still felt a bit embarrassed and didn’t want to mention the sleep-talking just now. “Let’s go have some chicken soup.”

Gu Yanchen tugged at him. Shen Junci got up from the bed. The cat and dog were locked on the balcony, and Snowy was jumping around on the cat tree. The table was already set with chicken soup, golden and steaming.

Shen Junci sat down, lowering his head to stir the soup with the spoon, which had nothing in it. Gu Yanchen served himself a bowl too. Shen Junci sipped slowly; the chicken soup tasted pure and clean, with only ginger slices and salt, really delicious. It was even richer than the one he had made last time.

It was the perfect chicken soup he had imagined. He took a few sips but felt like something was missing from the taste. Shen Junci’s hand paused, pondering what was lacking. It was like a child receiving a long-awaited toy, only to find that the toy was nothing like what they had imagined. It seemed he didn’t love it as much as he thought he would.

Gu Yanchen noticed his pause and asked, “What’s wrong? Doesn’t taste good?”

“No… it’s very good…” Shen Junci lowered his eyelashes and said, “I just suddenly feel like adding some jujubes would be nice.”

Gu Yanchen made pure chicken soup for him, but he was starting to miss the strange-tasting chicken soup Lin Xianglan used to make… Because of the dream just now, his eyes started to well up again. He held back his tears and didn’t let them fall.

Seeing his eyes and nose reddening, Gu Yanchen thought he had been scalded and reminded him, “This chicken soup was just taken off the stove. Blow on it before you drink. Don’t drink too quickly.”

Shen Junci hummed and drank slowly. He asked Gu Yanchen, “Are you going home tomorrow?”

Gu Yanchen replied, “I told my mom that I’m busy with work lately, so I’ll bring them a box of mooncakes in the afternoon or evening. I may not necessarily go home for dinner.”

Shen Junci sensed that Gu Yanchen was considering his feelings. “It’s been a long time since you’ve been home. Go and spend time with your family. I’ll be fine alone.”

Gu Yanchen said, “You’re also my family.”

Those words warmed Shen Junci’s heart.

Gu Yanchen held the chicken soup and said, “Besides, my stepdad, mom, and sister, they’re the ones with the complete blood relationship.”

Shen Junci blurted out, “After all, she’s your mom…”

But Gu Yanchen said, “She’s not my biological mother.”

It was difficult for him to explain this situation to Shen Junci. Although Mo Xueqing was good to him, he had always regarded her as his mother. But DNA doesn’t lie. So strictly speaking, he and Shen Junci were the only family they had.

Shen Junci lowered his head, suddenly remembering Dream Master. His and Gu Yanchen’s birthdays were the same day. He wasn’t the biological child of his parents either. September 25th, what happened thirty years ago?

Gu Yanchen didn’t know what was on Shen Junci’s mind and continued, “But it’s okay. They’ve raised me, treated me well all along. When the time is right, I’ll introduce you to them.”

After chatting for a while, Gu Yanchen sensed Shen Junci’s unease, perhaps because tomorrow was the Mid-Autumn Festival, a day for family reunions. He tentatively said, “You were sleep-talking about family. Are you missing them?”

After a moment of silence, Shen Junci admitted, “My dad used to make a chicken soup for me, with lots of medicinal herbs like ephedra and jujubes. It tasted strange, and I used to dislike it, but now I miss it.”

Gu Yanchen said, “If you want, I can make it for you.”

Shen Junci shook his head palely, “I don’t know the exact ingredients he used. He said it was his exclusive recipe. I just suddenly realized that I’ll never drink that soup again.”

Some things, we don’t cherish when we have them, but we miss them when they’re gone.

Gu Yanchen looked up and said, “That chicken soup you mentioned, I think I’ve had it too. Once when I got injured, Lin brought it to me. It was bitter and sweet, kind of hard to drink, and he claimed it was his exclusive recipe.” He put down his spoon and looked at Shen Junci, cautiously probing, “I might not know your father’s recipe, but I might be able to find Lin’s.”

Shen Junci had been in a daze for some time before this, and he hadn’t noticed the underlying intentions or that Gu Yanchen was equating Lin Xianglan with his father. Later on, he sensed something amiss, but his longing for that chicken soup was too strong, so he softly asked, “How?”

Gu Yanchen brought over a notebook, “Actually, Lin left me an account and password.”

He looked down at the screen, downloaded a chat application, and started using it.

Shen Junci asked, “Did Lin hide the recipe somewhere?”

Gu Yanchen nodded, “He had an account in the past.”

As Gu Yanchen opened the familiar interface, Shen Junci suddenly realized something…

He remembered, on his twelfth birthday, Lin Xianglan had said to him, “Son, I know you’re growing up, you must have a lot of complaints against me, a lot of things you don’t want to tell me face to face. But we need to communicate. Let’s use a method of communication between adults. You can leave messages for me online, say whatever you want to say, and I’ll read them.”

Old Lin helped him register an account, then registered one for himself too. That account was like an alternate one; they only added each other. From then on, he gathered the courage to log in and leave messages for Old Lin. Initially, he thought Lin Xianglan would read them and leave some room for response. But later, he realized he never received any replies from Lin Xianglan. It seemed like Lin Xianglan had long forgotten about this matter.

He seemed to have never logged into that account, and the profile picture of that account was always gray. So, he treated this app as a confession box named Lin Xianglan. It was a place where he could peel his heart layer by layer. His usual complaints about Lin Xianglan, his expressions of love, the regrets and resentments he left behind, he poured them all out here.

Gradually, it became a habit. Even after Lin Xianglan’s death, he would occasionally open the app and type a few lines. As long as this confession box existed, he felt as if Lin Xianglan was still alive, and nothing had changed.

Gu Yanchen continued, lost in his own thoughts, “Old Lin had an alternate account. He logged in every day to check it. He told me he used the space inside like a notepad, jotting down Lin Luo’s favorite foods, his habits, everything.”

Shen Junci suddenly felt like something exploded in his mind, and he spoke in astonishment, “What?!”

Logging in every day? So, everything he wrote, Lin Xianglan could actually see it?!

“The password, Old Lin told me once. Soon after that, he passed away. Now, I think maybe he already had a premonition back then, so he told me those digits. Old Lin told me if Lin Luo graduated from college, he could show him what’s inside. On the night of Lin Luo’s graduation dinner, I actually wanted to invite him for dinner and tell him about this.”

Unfortunately, fate intervened, and when they met again that day, Lin Luo was lying in his arms, covered in blood, barely breathing. They didn’t even get to bid each other a proper farewell.

In the quiet room illuminated by the lamplight, Gu Yanchen’s gaze was profound. Shen Junci finally realized, Gu Yanchen deliberately told him all of this. Gu Yanchen probably already knew he was Lin Luo. He could feel it too, Lin Xianglan was his unresolved issue. It was as if he suddenly inherited something from Lin Xianglan.

Shen Junci bowed his head in silence for a moment. His reaction just now had basically exposed all the secrets. Finally, he spoke up, “You actually figured it out a long time ago, didn’t you?” Shen Junci trembled as he voiced the answer himself, “I am Lin Luo.”

Gu Yanchen nodded. He was a discerning detective captain. From the first encounter that felt familiar, to later confirming his tastes and some habits were the same as Lin Luo’s. From his unnatural expression when he saw that coin, to the subtle discrepancies in the story he told about the toy train and Shen Junci’s experience. From his changing expression when he mentioned Lin Xianglan, to his reaction when he learned about the Lin Luo case. From the inexplicable familiarity with him, to his closeness with Li Zhongnan.

All the clues pointed to the same truth.

Shen Junci’s account of the heart transplant surgery to Gu Yanchen made him even more certain of this. Gu Yanchen had thought of this possibility long ago, and as their interactions continued, he became increasingly convinced of his deduction. But it was only now that it was truly confirmed. He was Lin Luo.

Unable to contain himself, Gu Yanchen hugged the person in front of him tightly, pulling him into his embrace. It was a kind of luck to have lost and found again.

Then he handed the computer over to Shen Junci, “You are Lin Luo, you also have the right to see what’s inside. You can open this account, or you can choose to forget it.”

Facing that account, Shen Junci hesitated for a long time. Finally, he took a deep breath and pressed the Enter key. It was like suddenly opening a box. The account, unused for many years, popped up with countless conversations and messages, those he left for Lin Xianglan.

“I remembered some things and also remembered this account. I find it hard to explain the situation now; it’s like I’ve swapped bodies and I’m living a different life.”

“Dad, I did what you hoped for back then, I studied to become a medical examiner. It seems like I’m quite good at these things. Unfortunately, you can’t see it.”

“Recently, I saw Li Zhongnan again. He was caught by those people while investigating the situation of the cleaning company, and was shot and fell into the sea while escaping. Luckily, nearby fishermen rescued him. He has been investigating your death all along. I told him about me being Lin Luo, and on this journey, I finally feel less lonely.”

“Dad, today I dissected a corpse and found the exact cause of death. With proficiency in technology, I am starting to love this job more and more. Punishing the wicked and promoting the good, finding the culprit, brings a sense of accomplishment. I understand a bit more now why you were so dedicated to and loved this job.”

“I remember you mentioned before that you had dealings with Director He, saying he was a righteous man. Director He has ideas about governing Penang. I’ve talked to him a few times, and he really is a good leader.”

“Dad, today I reported to the City Bureau, everything went smoothly, and I entered the Special Criminal Division. Tomorrow, I will start working officially.”

“Gu Yanchen is now the Captain of the Special Criminal Division. I rented his house, and he will take care of me. You can rest assured.”

“We are currently on a new mission. I believe we will soon uncover the secrets behind the Hetu Trading Association.”

“Dad, I miss you.”

Then he opened the space of the account again, where locked were the diaries written by Lin Xianglan. It lasted for years.

“The child has grown up and has his own little secrets. I set this account to log in invisibly so that he can leave messages for me. This way, he must think I’ve forgotten about this. I can see his true thoughts, clever me.”

“Today, Lin Luo complained again that I came home too late. But today, I saved a mother and daughter who were almost murdered by the ex-husband. When I got home, he was already asleep, and I sat by his bed for a long time.”

“I found Lin Luo pretending to be sick. What is this naughty boy thinking? His old man is a detective captain; I can easily tell. He wants to deceive me, but he’s not skilled enough yet.”

“I figured it out. He pretends to be sick to get me to care more about him. I realize in the places I haven’t paid attention to, my son is quietly growing up, becoming a teenager. From now on, I’ll come home earlier, at least twice a week. Have dinner with him.”

“I gave my medal to Lin Luo, issued by the Provincial Department. Am I a fraud? I’ve recorded all the rewards redeemed here, to prevent him from forgetting and making mistakes later. Clever me.”

“I almost forgot it was the Mid-Autumn Festival today, but luckily, when I got off work, I opened the account and saw his message. He said he felt lonely and wanted someone to accompany him. I saw a dog that needed to be adopted by someone near the police station when I passed by. I immediately decided to bring it home. With a gift, clever me.”

“Today, Lin Luo is really sick, but I couldn’t accompany him. He took the medicine himself and didn’t have a fever anymore. Lin Luo, I’m sorry, I often feel that you being my son, I owe you.”

“Lin Luo recovered from his illness, but he lost weight. I’m going to make some chicken soup for my son to replenish him. Today I saw a secret recipe for chicken soup. After trying it out, I made some improvements so that the nutrition is richer and the taste has more layers. Unfortunately, I added too much astragalus during the experiment, and the taste was too bitter. Luoluo definitely won’t like it. To avoid wasting it, I brought this experimental chicken soup to Gu Yanchen, who was recently injured at the police station, under the guise of visiting the wounded. I forced him to drink it all. No waste, clever me.”

“Lin Luo doesn’t like jujubes in chicken soup, but jujubes are good for blood. That’s the soul of this chicken soup! The brat complains while drinking several bowls.”

“These days Lin Luo is taking the college entrance exam. I interrogated a hostage-taker all night last night. By noon, perhaps because I stayed up all night, my heart disease recurred. I almost didn’t recover even after taking quick-acting heart pills. At such a crucial moment, as the bureau chief, I can’t collapse on the front line. If I do, the whole thing will fall apart. If we can’t get the location of the hostage, the accomplice might tear up the agreement.”

“Lin Luo called me, but I could only talk to him for a few words before he hung up. I could only ask Gu Yanchen to go see him in the afternoon.”

“Fortunately, the hostages were rescued in the end. Lin Luo also managed to finish his exams. He must be angry; he hasn’t spoken to me for days.”

“The doctor asked me to be hospitalized. Blessing in disguise, Lin Luo had no time to complain about me anymore.”

“Lin Luo chose communication as his major, but I know he actually likes being a medical examiner. I often see him sneaking into the medical examiner’s room, flipping through the old medical examiner’s anatomy books. I think he might be trying to spite me. It’s better not to be a cop. If both of us are busy, there will be even less time to take care of this family, and he won’t have time for a girlfriend.”

“Gu Yanchen, this kid, is simply a reliable spokesperson. I gave him a coin, promising him that if the case of Xu Chenghuang is solved, he can make requests to me. It would be great if Luoluo were a girl; I could entrust him with everything.”

“I often feel that being a father is even harder than being a bureau chief. Work can be worked on, but being a father is something you owe, and you can never make up for it.”

“…”

Some of those records were long, some were short, some were recipes, and some were about trivial matters of life. As Shen Junci read through line by line, he realized that what he had seen was never the truth. Lin Xianglan might not have been a good father, but he had always been trying.

In the end, there was a letter.

“Son, if you see this letter, Dad may no longer be around. I told Gu Yanchen the password and the account, asking him to tell you after you graduate from college. By then, you should be mature enough and able to accept many things calmly, right?”

“Don’t seek revenge for me, don’t get involved. This is Dad’s last wish and my final request to you. You must obey.”

“I’ve been investigating a major case recently, and the more I investigate, the more frightened I become. It’s ridiculous. I’ve been in the public security work for decades, but this time, I’m scared. I’m not afraid of death, but I’m afraid that if I die, I’ll leave you alone.”

“Your mother passed away early, and most of the time, it was just the two of us relying on each other. I still remember when you were born, just a little bit, you didn’t cry much, and you started babbling very early. You smiled at people as long as you were fed.”

“I watched you grow taller bit by bit, so smart, so independent, so decisive. You would occasionally pretend to be sick to get my attention, and you always got into fights because someone bullied you. Dad’s heart ached for you, but I didn’t know how to express it. I hope you’ll always be healthy and happy.”

“I don’t want to die either. I’m selfish too. I want to see more of you, I want to see you really grow up. When that time comes, if I’m still alive, I should retire. I can cook for you every day, make chicken soup for you, or help you take care of your children. If you don’t want children, it’s okay; we can bring back Wuliangye, and I’ll walk the dog with you every day, with a dog as company.”

“Dad has said so much because if one day I die on duty, don’t be sad, be proud of me. This profession is like this, countless sacrifices, countless efforts. One after another. Only in this way can ordinary life exist.”

“I am not a lone traveler on this road. Gu Yanchen, Li Zhongnan, and many other capable young people in the City Bureau stand behind me. I have passed on the torch in my hands, and there will be someone continuing on this road.”

“Lastly, a somewhat sentimental sentence, Dad loves you. You are the best gift God has given me. Thank you for accompanying me through such a long life.”

“Finally, my son, remember, in this world, darkness can never triumph over light.”

Seeing this, tears streamed down Shen Junci’s face. He covered his mouth, trying hard not to cry out loud, but the tears couldn’t be stopped from flowing down. He suddenly realized it wasn’t something missing in the chicken soup, but Lin Xianglan missing from the table. How nice it would be if the three of them could sit here together?

Gu Yanchen knew what Shen Junci was thinking. He hugged Shen Junci and said, “You’ve done really well. Old Lin would be proud of you if he were still alive.”

Shen Junci leaned against Gu Yanchen’s shoulder, his tears wetting his collar.

Gu Yanchen gently stroked his back, “I promised him. I’ll take care of you well for the rest of my life.”