Oh, It’s a Monster!

 by Waning Laugh

Chinese Information: 是妖怪哦 by 语笑阑珊

Year: 2022

Genre: BL

Novel Status in Country of Origin: 68 Chapters (Complete)

~~~~Brought to you by ExR~~~~

SUMMARY:

Shi Wenze was a fierce beast hunter who also ran an illegal tattoo parlor to maintain a low profile. The tattoo parlor had a terrible reputation and business was dismal.

One day, Lin Su directly pushed open the wooden door and walked in. The hunters who were having a meeting inside were quite startled; how could there actually be a customer coming in? They rolled up their sleeves and said, “This shady shop has terrible skills, we were just about to trash the place.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Lin Su’s gaze swept over the crowd and landed on Shi Wenze. “I like terrible skills.”

“……”

Shi Wenze is a beast hunter who secretly runs a tattoo parlor to cover his tracks. However, the parlor has a terrible reputation, and business is quite bad.

One day, Lin Su walks into the parlor without hesitation, pushing open the wooden door. The hunters inside are startled—how could there actually be a customer? They all roll up their sleeves and joke, “This shady shop has terrible skills; we were just about to wreck this place.”

“It’s fine,” Lin Su says as his gaze moves past the crowd and locks onto Shi Wenze. “I like it when the skills are bad.”

 

 

Chapter 1: Lin Su had answered very coldly, “Xia Jiayang’s fan.”

Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: CaiCai

Assistant editor: Karai

 

It was late summer in Chengdu. The sunlight floated gently on the treetops, and there were few pedestrians in the alley. The sultry weather made even the cicadas’ calls sound weak. 

Xu You pulled a hammer out of the toolbox and fixed the sign in front of the shop with a few clangs. Then he stretched his neck, curiously asking, “Shi Ge, what are you staring at on your phone? You look deep in thought. Could something have happened again in the north part of the city?”

The other man, leaning lazily on the couch, glanced up without much interest. “Does my expression look like something’s going on with the northern demon group?”

“No.” Xu You responded truthfully. “Your face looks just like Aunt Wang Cuifen from across the street. You know, that expression she gets after three months of scheming and flitting between cliques, finally becoming the chief dancer of the colorful life square dance troupe. She’s happy but can’t show it because of her noble status, so she forces a very fake expression of being calm and unaffected.”

“Get lost!” Shi Wenze grabbed a handful of his hair, propping himself up with one hand to shakily stand up, his figure swallowed by the orange-yellow evening sun outside the window. He was tall with short-cropped hair. His lazy demeanor hid part of his sharpness and, when he smiled, he even looked quite charming. But… how should one put it? Much like Aunt Wang’s fake calmness, Shi Wenze’s kindness felt very superficial. Even though he was as handsome as a TV star, no one in the neighborhood ever came to matchmake him.

Shi Wenze stretched his limbs, grabbed the helmet off the coffee table, and said, “I’m stepping out for a while.”

“Now? What time will you be back? The demon management committee still has—” The motorcycle roared as it sped away, carrying a gust of hot summer wind. Xu You was rendered speechless.

Recently, the city was full of subway construction, and Shi Wenze weaved through the safety barriers before stopping at 13 Egrets Street. Before him stood a two-story light gray building with workers coming and going, diligently finishing the last phase of construction. The gallery was called “Xie,” and at least fifty percent of the people passing by would hesitate over how to pronounce the character. It was artistic, a bit pretentious, very much like Lin Su.

“Xie” was a gallery, something Shi Wenze had found online. There was also a photo of the gallery’s owner: Lin Su, dressed in a white top, with delicate features and downcast eyes. He looked like a long-winged white bird living over a blue sea, averse to landing and preferring freedom. This was nothing unusual; artists were all about freedom.

Shi Wenze parked the motorcycle, tossed a cigarette to a worker nearby, and struck up a casual conversation. Before long, he found out Lin Su’s whereabouts for the night.

“Lin Ge’s not coming tonight. I heard him on the phone at noon. Looks like he’s going to the performance center for a celebrity concert.”

“Thanks.” Shi Wenze snapped on his helmet, twisted the throttle, and roared back into the flow of traffic.

The concert was set to start at 7:30 PM, but by 7:28, the venue was still sparsely populated. Shi Wenze’s ticket was for the last row. He found his seat and glanced at the concert’s theme—”The Grand Scene Has Arrived” Xia Jiayang Birthday Concert.

Shi Wenze watched the unfamiliar little star on stage, his right hand lightly tapping the armrest. When the venue’s lights went out, he instinctively bent his index finger, conjuring a small black hurricane that swirled at his fingertips. Just as he was about to scan for any wild beasts sneaking in, a voice called out, “Handsome!”

Shi Wenze immediately clenched his right hand. In a city shared by humans and monsters, one always had to stay alert.

“Handsome!” the girl beside him called again, excited. “Are you a fan of Jiayang too?”

Shi Wenze, “I’m not—”

“Come on!” She dragged his arm toward the front. “There’s space up ahead. Sit there. Help us out, we need someone to fill the space for the photo. By the way, handsome, have you joined the fan club? Do you have a light board? A hand banner? A wristband? Here, take a few glow sticks. Sit down first, I’ll go get the other fans!”

When she mentioned “getting the other fans,” Shi Wenze swallowed the rest of his words and politely accepted the light board. Thanks to the fan club’s efforts, more people slowly filled the area, but Lin Su was still nowhere to be seen. 

Shi Wenze turned to the girl and asked, “Hey, is this all the people you’ve got?”

“No.” She replied without missing a beat. “We’ve got two VIP groups, hundreds of people. They’re stuck on the road. They’re fixing the subway, you know.”

Shi Wenze reclined back into his chair, glancing up at the stage. The young stars these days all looked the same: chestnut-colored mid-length hair, pale skin, young-looking, and nervous when chatting with fans. Their awkwardness only stirred up a flood of motherly love in the audience, resulting in nonstop screams.

“Jiayang!” the girl stood up and shouted. “You can do it! Look! Even your male fans are here!”

Shi Wenze, “?”

Sure enough, Xia Jiayang looked over and even waved.

Shi Wenze, “…”

“Handsome, join the group!” the girl passed her phone to him again. “There aren’t many male fans for Jiayang. In Chengdu, there are only about a dozen, and all of them are in the group.”

All of them in the group. Shi Wenze scanned the QR code, feeling like this wasn’t a fan club—it felt more like a pyramid scheme. Every word hit the users’ pain points, and the brainwashing was top-tier.

There were over eighty members in the WeChat group. Shi Wenze looked through each of the profiles but couldn’t find the person he was searching for. The performance on stage was already nearing its end, which made it clear that the rumored “two large groups” were not going to show up. They were most likely just made-up stories to make the event seem more significant.

His phone kept buzzing. Xu You’s voice boomed on the other end, “Shi, what time is it? Are you going to the Demon Management Committee or not?”

“I’ll be there in half an hour,” Shi Wenze replied as he walked with the crowd toward the exit. “Hold on, I need to refuel first.”

“Hey, handsome, wait up!” The girl from earlier ran out after him. “I have a set of face masks—”

Shi Wenze hopped onto his motorcycle and sped off, leaving her behind.

“…”

“Xiao Lu, who are you talking to?” the others from the support team asked, puzzled.

“A male fan. So rare, like an endangered species. I was going to give him a set of Jia Jia’s signed face masks,” Lin Lu said as she packed up her bag. “I’m heading out now.”

“Leaving so soon? We were planning to have a hot pot dinner at Haidilao.”

“My brother’s sick, I have to go take care of him.” Lin Lu waved her phone. “I’m off. We’ll plan something next weekend.”

Her place wasn’t far from the performance venue. She caught the last subway, which took fifteen minutes to reach her stop. Qinghu Garden was an old villa district in Chengdu. It was well-maintained, so the exterior still looked good. The neighborhood was lush with flowers and plants, like a hidden misty forest among the city’s tall buildings.

The yard was full of blooming sunflowers. Lin Lu walked along the stone path, and as soon as she opened the door, she saw someone standing by the kitchen stove.

Lin Su turned to look at her. “I’m hungry.”

Lin Lu rubbed her forehead. “Didn’t I make you some porridge?”

Lin Su was fiddling with the vinegar bottle. “It’s tasteless. I want something sour.”

“Fine, go ahead and have sour food,” Lin Lu said as she glanced at the pot. “Why are you using the iPad to press down the pot? Are you guilty about this cucumber? Afraid it’ll come back to life?”

“It accidentally fell in,” Lin Su said nonchalantly, hanging the apron over her shoulders as he smoothly changed the topic. “How was the concert?”

“It was a hit.” Lin Lu took a cucumber from the fridge. “Jia Jia, the hottest star right now. Next stop, king of the industry.”

Lin Su cut her down. “Does a king need you to create fifteen fake accounts to hype up a forum?”

“You don’t get it. It’s called fan cultivation,” Lin Lu tossed her phone to him. “And our fan club is growing. This concert even had a male fan.”

“Your fan count is in single digits—” Lin Su’s words were cut short when he saw the group photo with a man standing close to Xia Jiayang. Deep down, his mind went blank, unable to form any words.

“Want some extra vinegar?” Lin Lu asked a couple of times but saw no response from him. Puzzled, she waved her hand in front of him. “Bro? What are you looking at?”

“Nothing.” Lin Su asked, “Is this person holding the light board also a fan of Xia Jiayang?”

“Of course. Anyone willing to buy a ticket for a birthday event is a hardcore fan,” Lin Lu mixed the sauce. “This guy even joined our WeChat group. We’re planning to invite him to our next local event.”

Lin Su’s mood was indescribable. He tried to merge this hardcore fan with someone from his memories, but it didn’t work. He returned the phone to Lin Lu and turned to go upstairs to his room. He quickly unbuttoned his pajama collar and started to take some photos.

First, he took his temperature, then snapped a picture of the thermometer. Next, he half-pulled the curtains, fixed his hair, and looked up at the sky at a 45-degree angle. In one fluid motion, he took thirty continuous shots. He selected the best angle, edited it with five different apps, applied a “city gray” filter, and added the caption: “On a summer night with no one by my side, a heart floats alone in the clouds.” He clicked send and made sure his WeChat settings allowed strangers to view ten of his moments. His technique was smooth, the sadness expertly performed.

Five minutes later, Lin Lu knocked on his door with a plate of cucumber. “Bro, you just ate too many strawberry popsicles and gave yourself a stomach bug. I don’t think you need to be this dramatic.”

Lin Su sat cross-legged on the bed and changed his WeChat profile picture to an old tree from the high school sports field. He looked up and ordered his sister, “Add me to the group.”

Lin Lu was confused. “What group?”

Lin Su replied coldly, “The Xia Jiayang fan group.”

Lin Lu froze, thinking her brother’s fever might not be just a mild 37.5°C. “How about… we go to the hospital?”

Lin Su declined and, after joining the group, insisted Lin Lu @ everyone to warmly welcome him.

Lin Lu, “…”

Across the city, in the brightly lit Demon Management Committee building, Shi Wenze had been lounging on the couch, distractedly scrolling through materials on his phone. Suddenly, something caught his eye. His expression changed instantly, and he sat up straight.

“Shi, what’s wrong?” Xu You asked, startled.

“Nothing,” Shi Wenze said, forcing himself to stay calm. He was looking at the new member in the fan group and, without much hope, tapped on their profile. To his surprise, it opened their Moments. His heart skipped a beat, and his phone nearly slipped from his hands.

“Xiao Wen.” A middle-aged man walked in from the hallway. He was Zhou Yuansong, the head of the Monster Emergency Incident Response Division. He casually asked, “What are you looking at?”

“I have a friend who’s got a fever,” Shi Wenze scratched his nose. “I’m trying to figure out what medicine to buy for him.”

Zhou gave a seasoned response, “Drink plenty of hot water.”

Xu You grimaced.

Shi Wenze also felt that those words carried the curse of singlehood. So, he opened a professional-looking forum, posing as a visitor asking, “What to do for a summer fever?”

Soon, helpful netizens responded. There were many causes of summer fevers, with respiratory infections being the most common. It was important to check for sneezing, chills, cough, or headaches. If the fever was under 38.5°C, physical cooling methods could be used. They suggested buying some little mushroom cooling patches.

Another person asked, “How old is your baby?”

Faced with this intimate address, Shi Wenze waved his hand, replying, “My baby is 25 years old.”

The next moment, he was kicked out of the “Baby Bear” parenting forum.

This Title is available for faster chapter releases through paid Patreon membership. Any proceeds go to keeping the website running. Check it out HERE.