Chapter 23: Flustered
Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations
Editor: Karai
The sheer impact of Shi Wenze’s formal look was immediate. The wall painters instantly assumed he was some kind of mob boss collecting protection money. Who else dressed like that? Their expressions snapped serious, and they stopped whistling altogether. Their work efficiency doubled on the spot.
The gallery had three floors—two above ground and one basement. Lin Su gave him a quick tour. Most of the paintings and crafts hadn’t been delivered yet and were temporarily stored in a bank’s safe deposit box.
“Anything you need me to help with?” Shi Wenze asked.
“The finishing touches are mostly small stuff, nothing urgent,” Lin Su said thoughtfully. “But I’m planning to check out the flower market in the suburbs this weekend. We’ll need flowers for the opening. Are you free?”
“What a coincidence.” Shi Wenze helped move a large cabinet into place. “I was just about to invite you. Yue Xiaoyu, my partner on the last patrol, runs a farm stay out in the suburbs with her husband. They’re hosting a dinner Saturday. I was going to bring a few friends to try their new dishes. Are you interested? The flower market is right next door.”
“Is Xu You going too?” Lin Su suddenly remembered the last time he went to Kunlun Tower, catching a glimpse of Xu You’s tail flicker in the clouds. “I forgot to ask—why did he bolt that day? He was in such a panic, like a ghost was chasing him, scattering things all over the table and carrying his bag upside down.”
Shi Wenze leaned against the railing, chuckling before answering, “I asked him. He thought you were with the inspection team.”
Lin Su frowned. “Even if I really were, we only check for illegal activities. What’s he so nervous about? What kind of shady business are you two up to every day?”
“Hey, don’t drag me into this,” Shi Wenze held up his hands in innocence. “He’s just nervous because he keeps failing his qualification exams. I’m different—I passed and am studying for my next level.” His scores weren’t great, but in these tests, passing was winning.
With Xu You as a contrast, Lin Su suddenly thought maybe Shi Wenze wasn’t that bad after all.
Yue Xiaoyu and her husband were well-liked, and their farm dinner would probably draw at least twenty or thirty people. Lin Su had just returned to Chengdu and didn’t have many friends, so a lively gathering like this was rare. Plus, he was going to the flower market anyway, so he agreed.
The gallery work wouldn’t finish anytime soon. Lin Su took off his apron, ordered takeout for the workers, and told Shi Wenze, “I don’t know any good places to eat nearby, want to just pick one? We’ll need to get back to check the lighting after.”
“I’ll take you to a private restaurant nearby. About a half hour round trip by bike. It’s run by a gluttonous monster—the decor isn’t great, in the basement—but the food’s good and not too spicy.”
“Sounds good.” Lin Su washed his hands and followed him downstairs. This time there was no need to play the “gray prince who can’t ride a motorcycle” role. Shi Wenze faithfully followed the pursuit plan and even buckled Lin Su’s helmet for him. His fingers brushed Lin Su’s earlobe and chin lightly, causing those spots to flush pink—a delicate touch, deliberate or not. Such a scheming qilin.
The sky was dusk—half light, half dark. The city was coated in a milky haze. The sunset and evening glow had faded, replaced by a fine drizzle that felt more like mist, moistening their ears with the cool breath of late summer.
They threaded through the crowded Second Ring Road and the clustered office towers, finally arriving at a narrow alley. Shi Wenze parked and called the restaurant. Five minutes later, a young man jogged out, grabbed Shi Wenze’s arm, and whispered, “No can do tonight. Private event—no outside guests allowed. Only monsters.”
“My friend passed the monster regulatory exam. He has the proper ID,” Shi Wenze said. “What kind of private event?”
Hearing Lin Su was a certified human, the young man visibly relaxed and smiled. “Oh, didn’t say so earlier—it’s a monster wedding proposal.”
Wedding proposal? Shi Wenze’s ears perked up. Since they’d stumbled on something exciting, he had to check it out. Judging by the sweaty hustle of the waiter Xiao Tao, it was probably quite a production. Maybe it’d even help his own love life.
So in a casual, straight-up tone, he said to Lin Su, “Looks like a monster’s having a private proposal tonight. Want to play background extras?”
No human could resist watching a monster propose, and Lin Su couldn’t either. Besides, the rain was picking up, and they needed shelter. A huge motorcycle might be cool, but it wasn’t a sports car—you couldn’t just pop up a plastic tent. Shi Wenze parked and led Lin Su downstairs to the basement.
The walls were decked in colorful neon strips, looking like the décor of a flashy hair salon. Pink arrows pierced two hearts, aiming to make customers fall in love at first sight.
The moment they pushed open the door, the whole restaurant lit up with flashing lights and deafening music. Only a bold monster would dare propose in a place like this—probably carrying ten megaphones in hand.
Xiao Tao seated them by a railing on the second floor and pointed to a distant empty table. “The proposal is happening over there. No other performances, just applause when it’s done.”
Shi Wenze frowned. “That’s too far. Can we get closer? I want VIP seats.”
“No can do,” Xiao Tao shook his head like a helicopter blade. “Shi Ge, it’s not that I don’t want to, but you and your friend look way too good and dressed too fancy. It’d look like you came to crash the party. We’ve taken a lot of money from these guests—we gotta keep professional.”
Shi Wenze glanced around. Sure enough, the other patrons were mostly old men or portly middle-aged monsters. Only one table had anyone under forty—a young monster with thinning hair, one claw lazily resting on the railing. Definitely the perfect foil to highlight a handsome male lead.
Xiao Tao took his job seriously. He wanted to be the Michelin Guide of the monster world. Everyone tonight was waiting for the proposal. The food was secondary. Shi Wenze ordered several house specialties. Xiao Tao enthusiastically recommended the pink Russian cocktail, but both men declined—just hearing “Russian” reminded them too much of Cang Daming. When would that story end?
Though the place looked tacky, the prices weren’t cheap. Ingredients flew in from Zhaoyao and Bianchun Mountains, full of potent spiritual energy. Shi Wenze served the dishes, introducing every plate with care—true boyfriend material. No wonder Xiao Tao thought it best to keep him away from leads and love triangles.
Mid-meal, the evening’s stars finally appeared: a normal couple in their twenties. Lin Su wiped his mouth with a napkin, ready to applaud at any moment—dedicated atmosphere booster. He also warned Shi Wenze, “Don’t keep staring over there.”
Shi Wenze lowered his voice, “Gaining experience.”
Lin Su fumbled with his fork and accidentally stabbed a cucumber slice. Shi Wenze felt a secret ache somewhere and straightened up, deciding to behave.
Proposal scenes—whether you’d experienced them or not—were all over the internet. Usually it was the same: surprise, ring flash, loud declarations of love. Everyone knew the routine. Tonight would be no different, he thought. But no one could have guessed the fiery passion for service burning in Xiao Tao, the gluttonous monster’s heart!
Half an hour passed. Lin Su had poked through his salad at least a dozen times, turning it over with a puzzled expression. “Why haven’t they started yet?”
“Probably waiting for the right moment,” Shi Wenze replied. “I’ve seen Xiao Tao checking his watch a lot.”
Lin Su nodded. Gotta admit, this was full-on ceremony mode. Minutes ticked by. Everyone in the restaurant, except the bride-to-be, was waiting for the sweet surprise about to unfold. The manager hurriedly served dishes, speaking quietly into a walkie-talkie, “Starting countdown now: five hundred, four hundred forty-nine…”
Shi Wenze thought, Good thing the rocket launch base didn’t hire you. After a few more rounds, the countdown finally hit the last ten seconds.
“Ten, nine… three, two, one!” Boom! Pink confetti exploded throughout the room.
Lin Su was braced for it but still got startled. The bride-to-be? She screamed and clung to her boyfriend, trying to run. But the stairway was already packed with people holding rainbow-colored roses and wearing pure white tulle skirts—like a church choir moonlighting as part-timers.
At the manager’s command, a band dangled down from the ceiling. The piano was too big to hang, so they switched to a suona horn instead. The traditional instrument’s power was undeniable—they blasted out The Wedding March, a perfect blend of Eastern-Western festive cheer. Nobody clapped; everyone was stunned.
Shi Wenze moved closer to Lin Su, one hand gripping a folded police baton at his waist. Theoretically, proposals weren’t dangerous, but this scene was outright bizarre. The amateur choir started singing a love serenade in some unknown language. Their uvular trills were more like choked gargles, bodies swaying awkwardly—Lin Zhengying would have dropped everything and filmed this.
Lin Su was dazzled, suddenly grasping how limited human language could be. The bride-to-be shouted, “Oh my god, this is terrifying!”
She gripped her boyfriend’s hand tightly and asked, “Is this a proposal?”
The groom had high hopes. He and Xiao Tao had meticulously planned the event, even paying extra for multiple rehearsals. He believed his girlfriend would be moved to tears and eagerly say, “Yes, yes, darling, I do!” But reality had other plans.
After her fright, the bride realized she’d been rude. She covered her mouth and whispered, “Who’s proposing? This person seems unwell. I’m scared. Are you full? Let’s leave early?”
The groom immediately stood to withdraw. Perfect timing—Xiao Tao pushed out the cake cart, still excited from waiting outside, unaware of the chaos inside.
Shu shu shu! The band stopped playing, lights dimmed, leaving three beams on Xiao Tao and the cake.
The cake had a musical candle that bloomed like a flower. The paid rehearsals had been worth it. Every beat was perfect—except the groom no longer needed any of it. He blocked his girlfriend with his body and frantically waved at Xiao Tao from behind. “No, no, look at my signal—now retreat!”
A clever manager finally squeezed through and whispered urgently to the boss. Xiao Tao froze. The bride kept glancing around, trying to find out who the poor soul was about to endure this circus of a proposal.
Xiao Tao pushing the cake cart became the silent center of attention—confused, philosophizing, Who am I? Where am I? Where did I come from? Where am I going?
He’d meant to grit his teeth and carry on, but seeing the groom’s desperate meltdown—almost begging for mercy—he dared no longer move. He just stood there, locking eyes silently with the bride, who looked more and more horrified, screaming No way, no way, no way! It can’t be me! Somebody save me!
Damn! Good professional ethics made Xiao Tao quickly retract his gaze. At that moment, he had a new idea. Looking around the room, who else was dressed like they were about to propose? The answer was obvious.
With a thud, he turned and slammed a large cake onto Shi Wenze and Lin Su’s table. Lowering his voice, he said, “Emergency rescue, Brother Shi. This one’s on me!”
The heroine’s eyes widened, and she covered her mouth with both hands in joyful disbelief. Clearly, she was experiencing what it meant to survive a crisis.
Shi Wenze hadn’t expected to get ‘eaten out’ while just having a meal. Watching the big candles on the cake sputter and spit flames, he felt a flicker of panic and barked, “Take it away from me!”
Xiao Tao’s eyes darkened. “It’s too late for that.”
Too late for what exactly? Hidden inside the cake was another world—a mechanical bird burst through the cream, clutching a glowing shell basket in its beak. Its design clearly mimicked the famous painting The Birth of Venus. Lin Su took two steps back, shocked.
At this point, the diners finally regained their composure. Though they were confused—wasn’t the proposal supposed to be between a different couple? And wasn’t the location different from what had been announced?—since the moment had arrived, they enthusiastically applauded, chanting, “Kiss! Kiss! The owner says if you shout louder, you’ll get 20% off your meal!”
The heroine joined in clapping, excitedly urging the two to hurry up. Who doesn’t love watching handsome guys kiss?
Lin Su clutched the tablecloth tightly, his face pale. In this chaotic and surreal moment, he finally started to doubt his life choices. He vaguely wondered if this was really Shi Wenze’s plan. Otherwise, why would he have gone out of his way to wear an Armani suit with the tags still on?
Thinking fast, Shi Wenze clenched his fist hard. After a crackling sound, all the lights went out at once, plunging the whole room into darkness. He grabbed Lin Su’s hand and dragged him through the back window, down a long hallway, finally running back to the ground level.
By then, the rain had stopped. Still shaken, Lin Su looked at the mechanical bird clenched in Shi Wenze’s hand. “…”
Shi Wenze asked, “Didn’t scare you too much, did it?”
Lin Su’s voice was hoarse. “It did.”
It was normal to be scared—I was scared too. Shi Wenze leaned against the railing, breathing unevenly, needing a moment to recover.
“So,” after a moment, Lin Su pointed upstairs, “this has nothing to do with you, right?”
Shi Wenze didn’t get it at first, but when it clicked, he was stunned. “You think I arranged that?”
Lin Su immediately denied it. “No, I didn’t.”
Shi Wenze felt deeply insulted. “No, that just now—” He couldn’t find the words, stumbling to explain. He only wanted to plan a proposal tomorrow to prove his taste.
“Alright, it’s not you. Stop it. Let me calm down.” Lin Su slumped onto a bench at the bus stop.
Shi Wenze tossed the mechanical bird into the motorcycle trunk, then bought two bottles of iced water. Lin Su gulped one down, finally feeling a bit more alive.
Sitting behind Shi Wenze, leaning against his broad shoulders and narrow waist, Lin Su had no energy left to appreciate the man. His mind was stuck on those flickering, singing stretch candles. It was terrifying. How could the world have such an invention?
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