It’s A Monster Chapter 68: Too Fat (END)

Chapter 68: Too Fat

Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: Karai

According to the medical report from Queshan Hospital, Lin Su, the little white dragon, was classified as “mildly well-developed” for his height and weight. This was understandable since his bloodline had only awakened in his twenties—quite a bit later than other dragons his age.

Following Lan Weiwei’s advice, Shi Wenze had spent a fortune buying piles of supplements—big boxes stacked on smaller boxes, carrying them around like an old cadre visiting a patient back in the 1980s. He planned to give Lin Su a proper nutritional boost at home. But Lin Su had no interest in that. He felt he was already well-developed and even complained that he was too fat.

“Where exactly are you fat?” Shi Wenze asked.

“You know,” Lin Su replied. As an artist, Lin Su naturally pursued beauty. He thought that if he got a bit thinner, then curling around Shi Wenze would look like a beautiful comic scene—the half-demon, red-eyed qilin wrapped gently by the slender little dragon. Who wouldn’t swoon over such a setting?

But right now, being a little thicker made him look more like a ferocious beast hunting the qilin—someone might even believe the creature would open its blood-red maw at any moment. Definitely belonged in the realm of Jaws.

“I’m going to diet,” Lin Su said.

At that moment, the two were watching TV in the living room. Shi Wenze draped an arm over Lin Su’s shoulder, eyes still on the game, seemingly not paying much attention.

“Good,” he said. Lin Su was pleased with the answer. “Are you going to stop me?”

Shi Wenze ruffled his hair. “Because my stopping you doesn’t seem to work anyway.”

The little white dragon was free like the wind and rain, wild and untamed. Lin Su accepted that and stopped caring about Shi Wenze’s casual “good.” He pulled out his phone and spent three whole hours researching light meal calorie charts, then carefully crafted a weekly meal plan. He sent it to Shi Wenze via WeChat, declaring, “This is what I’m eating every day.”

Shi Wenze glanced at it and said, “Okay, no problem.”

Lin Su added, “When you go for your morning run, take me with you.”

Shi Wenze was all for it. He hugged Lin Su and kissed him. “Sleep well.”

The next morning at seven, Shi Wenze carefully pulled Lin Su out of bed, set him in front of the sink, and shoved a toothbrush into his hand. “Ten minutes.”

Lin Su was still half-asleep, staring groggily at his reflection and standing there motionless for a long time.

“Alright, then diet,” Shi Wenze said, leaning on the doorframe. “If you want to diet, go back to sleep.”

“…Okay.” Lin Su picked up his cup. “I’m dieting.”

Shi Wenze gave him a thumbs up, humming approval. “Good, good, you have willpower. I admire that.”

After washing up, Lin Su changed into workout clothes. Shi Wenze headed out to the nearby park. The morning air was as clean and fresh as a monster village’s, and the middle-aged ladies dancing in the square all seemed very familiar with Shi Wenze. They enthusiastically greeted him and told him the nearby supermarket had a sale on farm-fresh eggs today. “After your run, buy some, okay?”

Lin Su asked, “How did you build such good relationships with them?”

Shi Wenze grinned. “Because I’m handsome and sweet-talking. I help them take photos, hold umbrellas, move their speakers, and download apps for them.” He added, “Remember those delicious zongzi you mentioned? Auntie Li in the red jacket gave them to me. She even invited me to her house for cured meat during the Spring Festival. Want some?”

Lin Su hesitated. “…Sure.” Dieting, but mentioning cured meat?

The two ran a few laps around the tree-lined paths. Outside the park, breakfast stalls were setting up: fried dough sticks, cold noodles, tofu pudding, buns, shumai, sugary rice cakes—you could easily make a food menu live at a De Yun Club show. The aromas wafted into Lin Su’s nose.

Normally, he wasn’t interested in oily or thickly sauced food, but this morning something was different—maybe it was the hunger from exercise. The smells became irresistible, and by the end, he couldn’t resist dragging Shi Wenze home.

Following the meal plan, Lin Su ate a breakfast of unsweetened yogurt salad, beef and eggs, and some boiled pumpkin.

Shi Wenze took a quick shower and then went into the kitchen. Though he hadn’t made these dishes before, the recipe was simple. He quickly prepared everything and even found a beautiful white platter, roasted some cherry tomatoes, garnished with parsley, and set the table looking like a five-star hotel spread.

Sunlight poured through the glass onto the table, creating a cozy, homey scene. Lin Su pulled out his chair and looked at the food on his white plate. His mood, slightly gloomy from missing out on fried dough sticks earlier, finally brightened. He asked, “What are you eating?”

Shi Wenze replied, “Oh, I ordered duck blood vermicelli soup and some pan-fried buns.”

Lin Su stared. “…” Go eat out then! Of course, he didn’t actually make Shi Wenze leave. They sat at opposite ends of the long dining table, the distance between them as formal as government officials meeting. Lin Su ate his salad while Shi Wenze enjoyed his pan-fried buns, beef, lotus root, and shrimp dumplings—a variety of flavors and fillings, bursting with juice and perfectly crisped on the bottom. Lin Su held back from asking any questions and just chewed on his bitter greens.

Recently, the monster management committee had little work, and Shi Wenze hadn’t been to Kunlun Tower to clock in. After finishing, he chatted with the neighborhood security guard about flower gardening and planned to help repot the flowers Lin Su had ordered online. Taking notes carefully, he promised to be back by ten to cook lunch.

Faced with such a thoughtful and perfect boyfriend, Lin Su thought he could just tolerate eating broccoli for lunch and a big pot of spicy boiled pork for dinner. Boiled pork really smelled amazing.

—Tolstoy: “I want to eat meat” — Xiao Lin

After lunching on broccoli and helping repot flowers under the hot sun, Lin Su felt a bit weak. Shi Wenze put a sun hat on him and instructed, “Go mix the Bordeaux solution.”

Lin Su tried to dodge chores. “I want to go back and drink juice.”

Shi Wenze reminded him, “You’re dieting. Juice has too much sugar. You can only drink mineral water.”

Lin Su suggested, “Then I’ll go to the gym to work out after drinking the water.”

“Okay,” Shi Wenze agreed. “I’ll finish repotting these three plants and then accompany you.”

Lin Su thought, No way. I’m going to the gym to shower and then nap! He had always known his boyfriend had good stamina, but didn’t expect him to be this relentless—from seven in the morning until now, not even tired, and he’d even volunteered to supervise the gym session. Qilin really was something else.

Lin Su grabbed his water bottle and rushed out like a fleeing thief, scared to bring it back home again. After a while, Shi Wenze came to find him and accompanied Lin Su through three sets of strength training before taking him home for dinner—pan-fried chicken breast.

Lin Su thought the chicken breast was extremely delicious compared to the flaxseed oil stir-fried broccoli from lunch. Especially for a starving dieter, it was almost a feast. The problem was on the other side of the table: Shi Wenze was gnawing on smoked meat flatbread and chewing on a beef knuckle bone.

“…” The day passed like this. Before going to bed, Wenze tried to persuade Lin Su to get up and exercise but was met with a firm refusal.

“Wanna touch the abs first?”

“Touch.”

“And then go for a run?”

“Run.”

A gentleman’s word: said run, ran. Ran for five days. Then kept eating pumpkin and spicy braised beef ribs afterward. Shi Wenze cooked a pot of red-braised pork and sat across from him with a bowl of rice. Lin Su felt he’d probably end up depressed one day because of this diet situation. This home really wasn’t a place he could stay in any longer. So, he called his dear sister.

Lin Lu said she was busy. “I’ll call you later, I’m making crispy fried pork. By the way brother, are you coming over this weekend? Mom just sent a bunch of ham and bamboo shoots, plus some salami Uncle Li brought back from abroad. I’m planning to bake a pizza.”

Lin Su said, “We’ll be there. Call me back later. Bye.”

Shi Wenze picked up a rib, “Wanna try some?”

Lin Su, “…”

Shi Wenze sat beside him and kept coaxing, “Come on, it’s nothing. I cooked it myself, found the recipe online, taste my skills.”

Lin Su put himself in “boyfriend encouragement” mode and tasted several pieces. As for how many pieces, well, it’s easy to explain—by the time the artist registered the flavor, the ribs were already gone. Luckily, Shi Wenze had an explanation ready. He gently asked, “Should I make you some sausage rice tomorrow?”

After a brief pause, Lin Su said coldly, “Yeah.” Shi Wenze thought his wife was just ridiculously cute. The diet plan had utterly failed—a total Waterloo. They happily ate several days of sausage rice, indulging in the joy of sugar, oil, and carbs. Before showering at night, Lin Su stepped on the scale—he’d gained a pound. 

Lin Su: That’s it, I give up. I just wanna breathe.

Shi Wenze picked him up and laid him on the bed, casually pulled off his own pajamas. “Tonight, we exercise first to burn calories. Then I’ll make you some boiled lettuce.”

Lin Su scrambled away with all limbs, “Fine, let’s exercise.”

Exercise followed by only lettuce to eat—that was a good deal.

Shi Wenze pinned him down. “Okay, okay, then I’ll make you a steamed East Star Grouper. Be good.”

Halal East Star Grouper? That was acceptable. Lin Su pressed his palm against Shi Wenze’s abs, amazed. This guy had been eating pork belly every day lately, but his figure still looked so good—it wasn’t fair. After thinking for a moment, Lin Su suddenly asked, “I remember you used to eat red-braised pork like that on purpose just to tease me, right?”

“Who said that?” Shi Wenze answered while working out. “I’ve just been busy fixing your balcony. Really hungry. I need high calories. Believe me, I eat it to keep up and cook broccoli with you.”

Lin Su curled his lips, “Forget it.”

Shi Wenze gave up, “I can eat broccoli, really.” Hearing the word “broccoli” hurt Lin Su. “Shut up and do your work!”

Shi Wenze buried his head in Lin Su’s neck and chuckled softly, “Okay, okay, I’ll shut up and keep working.” They didn’t settle down until late at night. Finally, Lin Su could proudly sleep until he woke naturally and went out for a run.

By ten o’clock, he was still lying in bed lazily, using Shi Wenze’s computer to handle gallery work, then wrapping himself in blankets to nap again. Around noon, a handsome kiss woke him up—the fairy tale’s sleeping beauty, indeed. And sleeping beauties definitely didn’t get to eat steamed East Star Grouper.

Shi Wenze also got a bowl of braised pork with preserved vegetables from Aunt Li. Lin Su had no objections and ate attentively. Halfway through, Lin Lu sent Shi Wenze a WeChat message, checking if her dear brother was back to normal.

Shi Wenze replied with an “OK” emoji: all normal, dieting.

Lin Lu: “OK OK, got it, delete delete, over.”

Shi Wenze put his phone down. Gained weight again. What dieting? Eat meat, seriously.

 

 

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