Paranoid Alpha Chapter 38: Diary

Chapter 38: Diary

Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: CaiCai

From that day onwards, Lyss’s life underwent a tremendous transformation. He had never known what it felt like to have a daughter, let alone that infants could be so soft, fragile, and adorable.

As the top-tier Chudai System, he was omnipotent and possessed the most advanced theoretical knowledge base. But he had no clue about the practical care of a child. Coupled with the demanding role of Triss Chief, he had no choice but to initially find someone to take care of his daughter for him and continuously learn during that time.

At the beginning, the baby could do nothing but sleep and eat. Lyss still found her cute, whether it was her eyes that curved when she smiled or her droopy ears.

Due to time constraints, he couldn’t personally breastfeed his daughter. Currently, 80% of parents chose artificial feeding, which wasn’t very dissimilar from pure breastfeeding. Lyss disliked all things robotic, so he opted for the most primitive powdered milk. Initially struggling with the temperature, he worried about starving his daughter each time.

She turned out to be easy to care for. This little girl seemed to be born to repay kindness. Except for crying a bit on the day of birth, she hardly ever cried unless she was sick or away from Lyss for a long time.

This had its downsides. For example, once after the little girl had turned two and she and Lyss were alone in the house, she woke up without a sound. She even crawled all the way from her bed to the study to find her dad, still making no noise. When Lyss suddenly turned his head and found her silently staring at him, he was so startled it almost disrupted his code.

But when their eyes met, the little girl immediately smiled like a flower. Lyss couldn’t bear to scold her and could only put a small bell on her wrist. Now, when she woke up, the bell would ring crisply, preventing a repeat of the previous incident.

As for the name, Lyss thought for a long time. In the end, he solemnly and seriously wrote “Lin Lang·Lyss” in the registry.

The two characters “Lin Lang” were written in pure Serica script. When writing these two simple characters, many scenes flashed through Lyss’s mind.

He remembered Lu Jin eagerly asking him for a nice name for his daughter. He also recalled Lu Xingye stating without hesitation that he wanted a daughter.

With the final stroke, he handed over the registration. Then, he gently lifted his daughter from the arms of the staff. Looking at the small bundle that was once a mess, his expression was unusually gentle. “You will be called Lin Lang from now on.”

A child born with the hopes of everyone, embodying boundless beauty and expectations.

As days passed, Lyss went from a novice who couldn’t even use a graduated cylinder to feed his daughter to a qualified dad who could skillfully braid her hair.

The only drawback was that he couldn’t cook at all. After his daughter had grown a little, they could only go out to eat, or they could eat nutritional paste together, a somewhat frugal choice.

As a girl with only one-fourth canine blood, Lin Lang maximized the advantages of being a canine—cute, obedient, and very intelligent.

She always felt like the luckiest child in the world. Unlike what outsiders speculated, Lyss was exceptionally accommodating to his only daughter at home. Aside from the fact that his cooking was too terrible, she seemed to have few worries in life except falling ill or not seeing Lyss for a long time.

But there was one thing the little girl couldn’t figure out from childhood to adulthood: why, as a Triss person, did she have a name that sounded like a Serica person’s?

She had asked her only guardian this question more than once when she was little. “Daddy, why am I called Lin Lang?”

“…I’ve said it many times, call me dad.” Lyss looked at his daughter, somewhat helpless, and sighed. “Mom is a woman, and dad is a man. Can’t you figure that out?”

“But…” Lin Lang was a bit confused, scratching her ear unconsciously. Her silver long hair curled in front of her face, complementing her fuzzy ears and bright green eyes. She looked like a delicate doll, too cute to provoke her tears.

“You are, of course, born to me.” Lyss bent down to lift his daughter, and anyone who knew Lyss might never have dreamed that he would one day speak so tenderly to a child. “Don’t you want to know why you’re called Lin Lang? Just call me dad outside, and I’ll tell you.”

Lin Lang’s attention was immediately diverted. Blinking her big eyes, she asked curiously, “Okay!”

“This name, Lin Lang…” Lyss’s golden eyes flickered slightly. “It was actually given to you by your grandmother.”

“Grandmother?” The little girl heard this term for the first time, her ears wiggling with excitement. “Is grandma dad’s mom?”

Lyss nodded approvingly. “Exactly, grandma is a Serica person, so she gave you this name.”

“Grandma is a Serica person…” The little girl was a bit puzzled, lowering her head and counting on her fingers. “Then, dad… Why isn’t dad a Serica person?”

Lyss couldn’t lie and remained silent for a moment. Lyss never answered this question from start to finish. The little girl gradually grew up. Even though she still looked like that adorable doll, deep inside, she began to understand things.

Girls often mature faster than boys of the same age. While those boys were still playing with mud in their immaturity, girls about to enter elementary school were already pondering many questions.

Lin Lang realized that every time she asked this question, her mom’s eyes would inadvertently dim. Gradually, even though she remained curious, she seldom asked the question again.

In fact, in the interstellar era, single-parenting and even solitary reproduction were quite common. Lin Lang herself noticed that half of the kids in her kindergarten only had one parent.

But Lin Lang always felt different from these kids. She had always felt like she should have a father, a different kind than her mom, who loved her but couldn’t express it.

She was too young and didn’t know why she had this intuition. Plus, whenever she mentioned her father, Lyss would become unhappy, so the little girl kept this small secret in her diary.

Actually, there were hints everywhere. For example, although Lyss clearly disliked overly advanced instruments, there was a complete set of drying towers in the second-floor bathroom, along with a locked room nearby.

Also, sometimes Lyss would sit and stare at her with a vacant expression. And their kitchen, which had been barely used, had a complete set of utensils that Lin Lang once accidentally stumbled upon, even more than what her best friend had at their home.

Her friend often boasted about how delicious his mom’s cooking was. The little girl, not understanding much, dryly retorted, “My… my dad can’t cook anything…”

Upon hearing this, the boy immediately felt sorry for her and brought a whole box of delicious food made by his mom to school the next day.

Lin Lang almost cried when she took a bite of the incredibly tasty food. Yet, she only ate half of it, earnestly bringing the remaining half back to Lyss.

“Mom,” Lin Lang refused to change her address at home, blinked and asked, “How was it, tasty?”

Under his daughter’s starry-eyed gaze, Lyss was quite moved but couldn’t say a false word, only replying, “I’ve had something even tastier.”

As soon as those words were spoken, the room immediately fell silent. Seeing Lyss freeze abruptly, Lin Lang innocently asked, “Who made it for you?”

This time, for some unknown reason, Lyss didn’t evade. After a long pause, Lyss finally said, “…your dad.”

“Dad?” Surprised by the unexpected answer, Lin Lang was stunned for a while before carefully asking, “What kind of person is Dad?”

When it came to that person, Lyss still found it a bit difficult to link him to the father of his daughter. After all, in his memory, the dog that wagged its tail and demanded attention was only eighteen years old.

Lyss remained silent for a long time before answering, “A young, handsome man who will build blocks with you, tell you stories, and cuddle you to sleep—an alpha.”

The little girl, incredulous and delighted, widened her eyes, “Really?!”

Lyss’s expression softened slightly, “Yes, really.”

Without hesitation, Lin Lang asked, “So where is he now?”

Lyss’s gaze became evasive, “He should have gone to a very distant place. When you… when you grow a bit older, maybe you’ll be able to meet him.”

Lyss couldn’t lie, but he also didn’t want to believe in Lu Xingye’s death. What he said to comfort his daughter wasn’t just for her but also for himself.

“When you grow a bit older, we’ll be able to see him.”

After dinner, Lyss carried the dishes and walked into the kitchen. 

Even though the little girl was barely five years old, as a female omega, Lyss had instilled gender consciousness in her since she was young. After three years old, he didn’t personally bathe her.

The five-year-old girl couldn’t completely bathe independently. After thinking it over, she could only use the fully automatic bathroom that Lu Xingye had installed on the second floor.

After someone checked and cleaned it once, Lin Lang quickly got used to the fully automated bath and sincerely said to Lyss, “Mom, the fully automated bath is very comfortable. Why don’t you install one on the first floor?”

Lyss shook his head, “You’ll know when you’re a bit older.”

This sentence became a big issue in Lin Lang’s heart after hearing it many times. Every night, she lay in bed wishing to grow up quickly to become a hero and protect her mom!

Today the little hero encountered some difficulties.

Lyss was washing dishes in the kitchen. Since Lu Xingye left, he hadn’t used the dishwasher again.

At that moment, Lin Lang, wearing her pajamas, rushed in, “Mom—something’s wrong with the bathing thing!”

Lyss wiped his hands, took her outside, and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know, it wasn’t me.” Lin Lang held his hand and headed to the second floor, “I went in and found the lights off. I asked it to turn on, but it said something… um… a key thing expired.”

Lyss understood, “The key expired, it’s not broken.”

While speaking, the two arrived at the second-floor bathroom. Lyss suddenly remembered where the key was, freezing in place.

Lin Lang looked at him puzzled, “Mom?”

Lyss came back to himself, “Lin Lang, be a good girl and wait here for me, okay? I’ll go get the key.”

The little girl obediently nodded, “Okay!”

Lyss took a deep breath, turned, and went to the closed room, trembling imperceptibly as he entered his fingerprint.

He hardly dared to look closely, grabbing the key by the bedside and quickly walked out.

While Lin Lang obediently played with her ears, wearing her cute and fluffy white pajamas, she looked like a well-behaved little rabbit.

Even after restarting the bathroom with the key and sending Lin Lang in, Lyss couldn’t help but walk back into that room.

His movements were light. After going in, he slowly closed the door behind him, leaning against it and silently watching everything before him.

Lyss hadn’t entered this room for a whole five years, but it was still very clean inside. He glanced at the cleaning robot nearby, which was likely the reason.

Everything inside the room was neat, yet it didn’t lack the warmth of a person. It seemed like someone would often come to stay here, as if the owner of this room had never thought they’d leave one day, they hadn’t even put away the pen and notebook on the table.

After scanning everything in the room, Lyss closed his eyes slowly, suddenly losing the courage to look at that notebook. But in the end, he took a deep breath, opened his eyes, walked over, and picked up that notebook. A familiar beginning appeared before his eyes:

“July 21st Weather: Sunny”

Lyss suddenly realized that this was Lu Xingye’s diary, and suddenly, he was somewhat hesitant to continue reading further.

Five years had passed, and Lyss had never entered this bedroom, nor did he ever know that Lu Xingye kept a diary.

But when this diary was placed in front of him, everything seemed to make sense.

Lu Jin used to enjoy writing diaries, and as Lu Xingye’s biological son, it didn’t seem surprising that he would keep one.

After hesitating for a long while, Lyss bit his lip and continued reading. The page of the diary read:

“Dear Ms. Lu, though I don’t know where you are now, your beloved son has to apologize to you. Your dreamed-of granddaughter might only be seen in dreams because my darling wife can’t conceive. Honestly, I’d really like to say this in front of him, but he might strangle me, so I’d better not.

Oh, by the way, Mom, I confessed to him today and unsurprisingly got gently rejected, though he wasn’t very gentle. But he said he’s happy being with me. Damn, my heart almost jumped out at that moment, and in that instant, I even thought of a name for our daughter. Honestly, among that string of names, I still think “Lin Lang’ sounds better. Later, I remembered that it’s impossible for us to have a daughter.

But truth be told, I don’t have much confidence. He’s so good-looking and powerful. Alphas who like him range from Triss to Serica. Most importantly, he doesn’t seem like someone who’d like anyone. I feel my chances are bleak; I could die in front of him, and he wouldn’t even bat an eyelid.”

The diary stopped here, filling an entire page. Lyss’s hand began trembling imperceptibly, and he took a deep breath and turned the page, seeing one sentence written starkly on that page:

“But I can’t help it; I really like him. Even if he’ll never like me back, I still like him.”

The long five years seemed to condense into that single sentence. Lyss sat trembling on the floor, tears streaming down his cheeks onto the diary.