Main Story Part 6
You can still see ShangFan’s appearance back in his youthful days, extremely handsome. One of his hands is rested on the shoulder of the person next to him, tightly. Even his gaze is directed at that person. But that person isn’t wearing a school uniform. Instead he’s wearing a pair of old-style black framed glasses and holding a few thick and heavy books in his hands. He looks like he should be a teacher. That person’s eyes are clear and bright. His appearance actually looks quite similar to Fang Yunsheng….
ShangFan slowly stands up and walks towards the photo. His bony hands touches the face of the only person in the photo who’s wearing glasses and says: “How could you die before I found you again? However, Fu LaoShi…” the man’s eyes squint, the lust in his eyes obvious, “I’ve never believed in fate. But this time I will. Who would have thought, the only time I went to mainland China, I actually discovered your son by chance.”
“Haha,” the man’s fingernail slightly scrapes over the glass frame of the photo, outlining the contours of the person inside, as if he wants to go through the glass frame and touch the person inside the photo. “Ten years later I actually found your son, and after a few more days, he shall completely become mine.” The man’s fingers wrap around the photo frame as he says his last sentence.
“He will replace you, and become mine.”
Recently, it seems like Ye CanSheng has been getting more and more phone calls. His temper is getting worse too. The only thing that makes me feel happy is that he hasn’t broken his phone again. Because last time I said that for every phone he smashes, I will punish him and make him eat instant noodles for ten days. So, he oftens places the phone gently onto the table after he finishes a call, and then jumps onto the couch and pulls at his hair…
I really want to help him, but no matter how much I ask him, he won’t tell me a word. Sometimes when I ask too much, or if I force him over the edge, he’ll directly throw himself on me then bite at the artery on my neck. Of course, he’s never really bitten me, he only grinds his canines on my artery non-stop. I’ve asked him why he does that.
He says in a serious manner, “This is the most fatal spot. It’s best suited for killing people.”
“. . . .”
My brows slightly flinch as I reply, “You want to kill me?”
His pair of black eyes stare at me, full of seriousness. He doesn’t look like he’s joking with me, “No, I want to eat you.”
And at that time I would never have imagined that this delicate peacefulness between me and Ye CanSheng would molder because of my girlfriend’s arrival.
My girlfriend suddenly came to find me that day, saying that she wanted to get back together again, while Ye CanSheng was crouching on the white bed looking at the phone in front of him and pulling at his own black hair. He just picked up a call so he wasn’t in a very good mood. At that time, my girlfriend wore a white, pure dress and knocked loudly on my office door. She hugged me as soon as I opened the door, and said while crying, “YunSheng, YunSheng, I was wrong. Let’s get back together again.”
At that time, Ye CanSheng who was on the bed fiercely stood up, a pair of cold eyes intensely stare at the girl who’s hugging me — the girl who abandoned me. I pull the girl in my arms away from my embrace. I hate the pungent smell of perfume on her body. It doesn’t even smell as nice as the scent of soap on CanSheng’s body.
I say: “XiaoLi, we’ve already broken up, and it was you who put forward that idea.”
“YunSheng, I know I was wrong. I shouldn’t have listened to their rubbish talk, wuuuu, you’re still the best. Can we go back to how we were before?” I didn’t say anything. CanSheng, who’s on the bed, slowly and leisurely gets off and walks towards me with a cold and imposing manner. An abstinent figure, a handsome face, and tightly pursed thin lips. He looks just like a vampire in the dark, making people feel both scared of him and in love with him….
I ignore my ex-girlfriend and say to CanSheng, “Go wait for me outside.”
“YunSheng. Who is she?” CanSheng lifts his finger and points towards XiaoLi.
“. . . .”
“Go and wait for me outside.”
Ye CanSheng looks at XiaoLi again with faint traces of hate. He then turns his head and picks up the phone on the bed. When he walks past me, I can feel his line of sight landing on my neck. He then just walks out without saying a single word.
After CanSheng leaves, I look towards the girl in front of me who is still crying and sighs, “XiaoLi, we really can’t go back to what we used to be.”
“Why? You don’t love me anymore?”
“You’ve loved me before?”
“YunSheng, at that time I must have been possessed by ghosts to believe in the words of those woman. I can’t forget you, wuuuu, YunSheng, can we start over again?” Tears roll out and fall from the rim of her eyes, making her look extremely pitiful.
I look at that delicate and pretty face and sigh. I used to treasure her so much. I wanted to give her a good life, wanted to be together with her for the rest of my life. But, how did she treat me?
She slapped me in the face as soon as she came back, and started to curse at me for being disgusting. For being abnormal, saying how I affected her life and made her lose face….
At that time I thought, the so called love in the ways of the world, is so fragile in the face of ethics. XiaoLi, your love was always for yourself. There can only be two reasons for why you’ve come back.
Number one: You’ve been strongly hurt by your current boyfriend, and then remembered me, this pitiful man who forgave you for everything.
Number two: You found out I have a job, and it’s one of a teacher, so you think I now have money to buy you all kinds of clothes and makeup.
You’ve never really loved me.
I turn around without looking at that face of hers that deceived me for all those years, “No, you weren’t possessed by a ghost. I’m just a disgusting gay.”
To no surprise, I hear hear the sound of high heels backing away.
The corner of my lips slightly rise. Woman are just fragile. Especially these kinds of small women.
“The man just then was my boyfriend. You saw him too. Your appearance here has affected our feelings.” I back face her. My words lack respect, yet my laugh is bitter, not because of anything else except for my pitiful life….
“You’re lying to me!”
“Why would I lie to you? Oh, that’s right, you shouldn’t go and find that handsome guy. You’ve got no hope, because he likes gays like me.”
Sounds of high heels against the floor come from behind me, followed by the sounds of running, and then the door is opened before it’s slammed shut….
“Fang YunSheng, you abnormal!”
I let out a sigh of relief with both hands propped onto the table. It’s better if these kinds of relationships are broken off cleanly. It doesn’t even matter if I say I’m gay. Moreover, the other party doesn’t even truly like you, it’s merely just a skin-deep problem.
Even though I tell myself that, I still feel uncomfortable and suffocating on the inside….
At the beginning I treasured her so much. She would cuddle in my embrace and act coquettishly. She would tell me everything that happened that day like a cat. But unconsciously, she changed. She became forceful and began to care about her beauty. She started to put on makeup she started to spray perfume, and started to wear earrings….
We couldn’t go back since a long time ago….
 小丽 Here, YunSheng calls the girl XiaoLi, this isn’t actually her full name. In Chinese, people often add Xiao (meaning small) at the front of someone’s name if they’re younger or are on friendly terms with each other. Xiao is usually used for a pet’s name or for girls, so the girlfriend’s name is Li, but YunSheng calls her XiaoLi.
呜呜呜 The sfx for crying
 小女人 Directly translates to small woman. Here, there are two meanings behind the term. Firstly, referring to how XiaoLi is still a young woman (so a girl). Secondly, this term also refers to women who are distinctly the complete opposite from the stereotypical traits of men and show stereotypical qualities of women. This term has a negative connotation so it usually refers to girls who not only like to put on makeup, but also those who bother and fuss over small things and likes to spread or gossip about their family’s money/prestige etc.