Under Clear Skies CChapter 72: Hold Back (2)

Chapter 72: Hold Back (2)

Translated by Fefe of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

By noon, the sky had darkened instead of lightening. Tang Heng’s head felt heavy after taking cold medicine, so he lay in bed, half-asleep.

“Honey, I’m going out.” Fu Liling walked over and took Tang Heng’s phone away. “Sleep for a bit. Don’t play on your phone when lying down, okay?”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to buy new fever medicine and some fruits for our neighbor.”

“I want to go with you.” Tang Heng pushed himself up.

“No! Your temperature just went down. What if you catch a cold again?”

“I’ll wear more layers,” Tang Heng insisted. “It’s too stuffy in here. I wanna walk around.”   

He was too stubborn for Fu Liling and they went out together in the end. Tang Heng wore a cashmere sweater, thermal pants, and a feather down jacket that went past his knees. Fu Liling also forced him to wear a knit hat and a mask. Only his eyes were exposed. Probably because of his fever, Tang Heng felt weak and soft. He moved down the stairs slower than usual too. When they got to the bottom of the stairs, Fu Liling reached her hand out tentatively. “It’s raining again.”

She opened the umbrella and muttered to herself, “The cold came early this year.”

Tang Heng lowered his head. He stared at a clump of cigarette ash by the fire extinguisher and some scattered cigarette stubs.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Eight cigarette stubs. There was a very dark charcoal mark on the ground beside the clump of ash. He could imagine that the smoker must’ve pressed the cigarettes hard into that spot. Eight cigarettes. How long had the person stood there for?

Most of the residents of this building were retired university faculty. Tang Heng had never seen anyone smoke in the stairway before.

Even if they did smoke, he couldn’t think of anyone who would smoke eight cigarettes in a row.

Tang Heng went with Fu Liling to buy the medicine. After, they went to the supermarket and bought four boxes of Argentine red shrimp and two fruit baskets. They planned to give this all to their neighbor.

It was only a little past two p.m. when they got home. Fu Liling went to give the medicine and gifts. Then she supervised Tang Heng as he ate an apple before finally going to take an afternoon nap. She told Tang Heng to nap as well; Tang Heng nodded.

Fifteen minutes later, Tang Heng wrapped his feather down jacket around him and sneaked onto the balcony.

“Jiang Ya,” he whispered. “You awake?”

“Bro, you slept well, but I got home at fucking five a.m.”

“Thanks man.”

“Get straight to it.”

“Where did Li Yuechi go last night?”

“How would I know?”   

“Did he… come visit me?”

“No?”

“Jiang Ya.”       

“…”

Jiang Ya muttered something, but Tang Heng couldn’t hear clearly. Finally, he groaned and said reluctantly, “He stood outside your house half the night. He was still there when I went home. I said that your fever went down, but he didn’t leave.”

Tang Heng’s breath caught.

“You two, seriously, what’s the point of doing this?” Jiang Ya yawned and chided, “One has a fever, one guards him the entire night. Aren’t you two tired?”   

“Did he say anything?”

“Yeah.”

“What did he say?”

“‘Tang Heng has a fever!’ ‘He’s at home?’ ‘Yeah, yeah, he’s burning at 40 degrees!’ ‘I’m coming over now.’ ‘You don’t have to come. His mom is home.’ ‘Jiang Ya, I’m outside the building.’ That was our conversation. Does he still love you? You’re the judge.”

“Fuck off.”

“Now you’re shy?” Jiang Ya cackled. “You didn’t see his face. Last night—oh wait, this morning—when I went downstairs, fuck, he was standing there like a ghost.”

Tang Heng hung up on him.

 

He threw on his clothes, grabbed his key and wallet, and snuck out of the house. It was fortunate that Fu Liling was sleeping. Otherwise, she would never let him out. But how should he explain after Fu Liling woke up? Tang Heng didn’t have the time to worry about these problems now. He couldn’t hold back anymore—not even for a minute longer.

He rushed down the stairs. The school’s cleaners were sweeping the ground. The rain had knocked down many leaves from the Chinese parasol trees and the workers swept them with wide brooms into small mounds of yellow mixed with green.

Tang Heng froze for two seconds. Then he took out his phone and took a picture of the clump of ash and scattered cigarette stubs.

All the evidence was collected. Li Yuechi, just you wait, Tang Heng thought fiercely.

He’d forgotten to bring an umbrella, but luckily, his jacket had a cap and was enough to fend off the drizzle. Tang Heng climbed onto his bike and charged toward Li Yuechi’s dorm. It was Saturday, so Li Yuechi didn’t have to go to class or work in the project team. It wasn’t time for his tutoring class either. 

Tang Heng stopped outside the dorm building and clambered up to the third floor. Only Li Yuechi’s dorm room had the light on and the wooden door was open just a crack.

Tang Heng took two deep breaths. When his breathing had steadied, he went forward and knocked on the door.   

“Come in.” It was a weak, scholarly man’s voice.

Tang Heng pushed the door in and saw Li Yuechi’s roommate sitting before his desk. “Oh, Shidi,” he said with a smile. “You’re looking for Yuechi?”

“He’s… not here?” Li Yuechi’s bed was empty.

“He went out last night and still hasn’t come back.” The roommate chuckled. “He climbed the wall at midnight when it was raining. Yuechi’s so brave, he wasn’t even scared of falling!”

“Thanks, shixiong,” Tang Heng said. “I’ll go look for him somewhere else.”

“Hey, shidi, do you need him for something?”

“…You could say that.”

“I bet he went to find his girlfriend. Why else would he climb out at midnight?” The roommate put on an experienced expression. “If you’re not in a hurry, you should come again tomorrow.”   

“Okay, thanks.”

“No problem. Oh, did you call him?”

“I did…”

“It didn’t go through?”

“Mn.”

“One night is worth thousands.” The roommate shook his head. “I’m impressed.”

One night my ass, Tang Heng thought. I’m his girlfriend!

But where did Li Yuechi go? When he left Tang Heng’s house this morning, he must’ve been exhausted, cold, and sleepy. Plus, his dorm was the closest place. If he didn’t come back to the dorm, then did he… Tang Heng knew that he should call Li Yuechi, but he felt like he couldn’t talk about these things clearly through the phone. He just wanted to see him. Right now.

Tang Heng got onto his bike again. This time, he went toward the East Gate and easily turned into an alley. When he pasted by the regan noodle store, he stopped and bought two cups of rice wine, two servings of noodles, and added a fried egg and beef.

If Li Yuechi wasn’t there, then he could eat it all up by himself.

He got to the building, locked his bike, and picked up the bag of steaming hot food.

The tutor center umbrella was hanging from the railing.

Tang Heng dug out his key and carefully stuck it into the keyhole, turning it slowly. The door opened. He saw Li Yuechi lying on the bed, his back to Tang Heng. The lights weren’t on, so Li Yuechi’s silhouette was blurry. He was like a dark splotch of ink.

Tang Heng crept in, but when he was two steps away from the bed, Li Yuechi moved.

In the silent darkness, he heard Li Yuechi’s low, hoarse voice. “Tang Heng?”

“Yeah…” Tang Heng’s heart raced. “Are… are you hungry?”

“…”

Li Yuechi got up and quickly put on a jacket. He climbed out of bed, turned on the light, turned on the heat.

If you didn’t turn on the heat in Wuhan’s winters, it would be the same temperature indoors and out. But he hadn’t even turned on the electric blanket. Was it to save money on electricity? “Aren’t you cold?” Tang Heng couldn’t help but ask.

“It’s okay,” Li Yuechi said.

He had serious dark circles, facial hair poked out messily, and his entire being looked exhausted. Tang Heng took the noodles and rice wine out, and pushed it before him.

Li Yuechi held up the paper bowl and ate the noodles in big mouthfuls.

“You didn’t eat breakfast?” Tang Heng asked.

He nodded.

Tang Heng didn’t have to ask further. Li Yuechi definitely didn’t eat lunch either.

Tang Heng didn’t know what to say, so he started eating the noodles too. He felt a bit warmer after the hot food entered his stomach. When both of them finished and the two empty bowls stood between them, Tang Heng finally felt like he had to say something.

He’d thought of many things to say on the way here. Matter-of-factly, confident of victory, even proud… Didn’t you say ‘No way’? Then don’t come find me, don’t stand outside my house like a utility pole? Aren’t you the calmest, hard-hearted man who can’t care less? Li Yuechi, you want to keep pretending?

But at this moment, he couldn’t say any of this. Li Yuechi loved him, right? Otherwise, he wouldn’t have stayed outside his house for the entire night. But love couldn’t apologize for them. Love couldn’t erase all unhappy memories. It was strange—love was such a great thing, but it made him feel lost and powerless.

“Do you still have a fever?” Li Yuechi asked.

“No.”

“You lost your voice.”

Tang Heng gave a low grunt.

Li Yuechi stopped talking again. The only sound in the room came from the heater, low yet consistent. Tang Heng wondered if Li Yuechi was still angry. Why else would he not talk now? Then, what should he do? Apologize? It made him feel wronged though. Why should he apologize first? It was Li Yuechi who had missed his singing first. They’d agreed and he’d said that he would come listen.

Whatever. It was just a I’m sorry. It wouldn’t kill him to say it.

Tang Heng made up his mind. He was about to open his mouth when Li Yuechi suddenly looked up.

“Tang Heng,” he said. “Come here.”

Tang Heng froze. His mind still hadn’t processed it, but his body was already listening to Li Yuechi. He got up, walked around the small table, and stood before him.

Li Yuechi stood up too. He opened his arms and hugged Tang Heng tightly.

Tang Heng was wearing a winter jacket, while Li Yuechi only wore a thermal shirt and the unzipped cotton jacket from school. Tang Heng reached into the jacket and hugged Li Yuechi’s waist. Compared to him, Li Yuechi’s body was so thin, making Tang Heng feel that he must be cold.

“Are you still angry?” Li Yuechi asked softly, resting his chin on Tang Heng’s head.

“Yes,” Tang Heng said. “Why did you wait outside for so long? Aren’t you scared of getting sick?”

Li Yuechi laughed.

“Fine if you want to stand,” Tang Heng continued. “You didn’t even text me.”

“I was scared you’d ignore me.”

“I would never.”   

“Last night, that shixiong insulted Tian Xiaoqin in front of a lot of people. Horrible insults. After our meeting, he called Tian Xiaoqin over by herself and… touched her inappropriately.”

“Touched her?” Tang Heng exclaimed.

“Yeah, Tian Xiaoqin was really scared. That’s why she was crying.”

Shit, what was all this?!

“Who was it?” Tang Heng frowned. “What’s his name?”

“Bao Lei.”

“I think I’ve heard of him before.”

“It’s okay now.” Li Yuechi patted Tang Heng’s hair. “Tian Xiaoqin went to Teacher Tang today. Teacher Tang said that Bao Lei will leave the team.”

“Oh… that’s good.”

“But I did lie to you.” Li Yuechi paused for a few seconds. “Because I didn’t want you to be unhappy. Do you accept this explanation?”

“If you’d explained clearly… Ah, whatever.” Tian Xiaoqin had been there, so Li Yuechi really couldn’t have explained.

“I want you to be happy when you’re with me. When I was outside your house last night, I thought, would you be happier if you dated Jiang Ya? He can accompany you every day, perform with you. He can even go in to take care of you when you have a fever.”

“Wait—Jiang Ya is my bro!”

“It’s just an example.”

“You…”       

“Dating should be a happy thing, right?” Li Yuechi sighed. “I want you to be happier, instead of… like yesterday.”

 

Author’s note: there’s still a while before the true breakup. Thank you for your patience =w=