Under Clear Skies Chapter 34: Won’t Give Up Until the Dead End

Chapter 34: Won’t Give Up Until the Dead End

Translated by Fefe of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: Addis

Tang Heng fled in panic.

He pedaled his bike so quickly that wind wailed softly in his ears. If he could escape fast enough from that room, from that small alley, from Donghu Village—then it would be like none of this had happened.

Finally, he braked outside Jiang Ya’s apartment building, panting out of breath. Sweat rolled down from his forehead, bead after bead, even blurring his vision. He sat on the bike, one foot keeping him upright, one stepping on the pedal. His entire being was dazed and silent.

The passersby were all staring at him, but he couldn’t see anything.

The setting sun had dropped below the city’s horizon now. Tang Heng felt that his heart was like the setting sun too. It had been warm, but now, it gradually sunk into a cold night.

He realized that he couldn’t act like nothing had happened, because those scenes still played out before his eyes—Li Yuechi saying There’s no way for us. When he said that, Tang Heng was staring at the bowl in his hands. There were still a few pieces of yellow noodles and two pieces of bok choy in the bowl. Tang Heng felt like he was a failure of a beggar, forever getting driven out of the house.

It was over this time, right? Completely over.

 

Tang Heng went upstairs and knocked on the door. An auntie with a head full of curls opened the door. “Hey, who are you looking for?”

“I… Sorry, wrong apartment.” Tang Heng realized that he’d went to the wrong floor.

The auntie muttered something and shut the door. 

Tang Heng went up two more floors and arrived at Jiang Ya’s place.

“Jiang Ya.” Tang Heng knocked, but nobody replied.

Maybe Jiang Ya went out. Tang Heng wasn’t in a hurry. He slowly squatted down, his back pressing against the cold wall. He’d escaped in too much of a hurry and actually felt fatigued now.

“Coming, coming!” The door was suddenly opened and Jiang Ya stuck his head out. “Fuck, you really have great timing!” 

Tang Heng looked up at him. “You busy?”

Jiang Ya gave a devilish grin. “Lulu’s here—since you’re here, let’s play cards.”

Tang Heng entered and saw a girl sitting on the sofa, hugging her knees to her chest. It was the girl that Jiang Ya had left with that night they went to the live house performance on Jianghan Road.

He didn’t expect that they’d still be in contact. Were they dating? Usually, Tang Heng would leave immediately. Third-wheeling wasn’t his hobby. But today, at this moment, he desperately wanted to talk to someone and distract himself. Otherwise, he didn’t know what crazy things he’d do.

“This is Tang Heng, our lead singer,” Jiang Ya introduced to Lulu. “You know him, right?”

“Wow, it’s my first time so close to him!” Lulu’s voice was bright. “Hello, hottie.”

“Hey,” Jiang Ya pretended to get jealous. He moved Lulu’s chin to force her to look at himself. “The hottie’s here.”

The three of them really did play cards the entire night. Around nine p.m., Lulu yawned and said she’s sleepy, so Jiang Ya told her to sleep upstairs. She patted Jiang Ya’s head and giggled, saying, “I’ll wait for you.” Then she strolled away.

Jiang Ya pulled a bottle of whiskey out of his cabinet and handed a glass to Tang Heng. He poured enough to fill the bottom. This whiskey was a dark yellow, close to the color of wood, and the bottle had French on it. He didn’t know what brand it was.

Tang Heng didn’t smoke and rarely drank liquor to protect his voice. So when the bitterness of whiskey exploded on the tip of his tongue, he couldn’t help but furrow his brows.       

Jiang Ya took a sip himself and asked, “Who pissed you off.”

“Nobody,” Tang Heng said.

“Oh please. Find a mirror and look at yourself. It’s like someone beat you up.” Jiang Ya threw an arm over Tang Heng’s shoulder. “Tell Daddy and Daddy’ll stand up for you.”

“Fuck off.”

“I’m serious. Did you run into some problem recently.”

“Why are you asking?”

“A man’s gut instinct. You fought with your mom again?”   

“Not my mom… I have a question.”

“Huh?”

Tang Heng hesitated and found a more subtle way to get into the topic. “How did you get together with Lulu?”

“We got together just like that. Weren’t you there that night?” Jiang Ya said matter-of-factly. “We came out of the live house, got a hotel room, and she complimented my performance, so we—”

“Stop,” Tang Heng said tiredly. “Don’t you have any normal dating experiences?”

“What counts as ‘normal’?”

“Like, for example, you flirt with a girl but can’t get her…”   

“Fuck.” Jiang Ya gripped Tang Heng’s shoulders in shock. “My son, you’re straight now?”

“…”

“Whatever,” Tang Heng said. “I’m going back.”

“What’s the hurry! Come on, lemme tell you,” Jiang Ya said, latching onto Tang Heng. “Flirting doesn’t work just like that. Time, effort, money… You gotta invest at least one of those!”   

“How?”

“For example, if you want to date someone, you have to act like that, right? Gift them what they like. If once isn’t enough, do it a few more times!”

Tang Heng wondered, what did Li Yuechi like? He probably liked money. But Tang Heng had gifted him money before and Li Yuechi didn’t want it.

“What else other than spending money?” Tang Heng asked. “Any other ways?”

“Sorry,” Jiang Ya drawled. “I haven’t met any girls that I can’t win over with money.”   

Tang Heng thought he must’ve hit his head against a wall to think of asking Jiang Ya for help.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Jiang Ya lowered his voice and said, “My son, I’m being serious. You don’t have to spend a cent with a face like yours.”

Whatever.

“I’m serious! If you fix your shitty attitude, you’ll be perfect!”   

“He already has a girlfriend.”

“So what?” Jiang Ya halted and turned to look at Tang Heng. “Girlfriend? You—you have a crush on a lesbian?”

Tang Heng fell silent for two seconds. Then he got up and said, “I’m going home. Go accompany Lulu.”

“Wait, wait, you gotta explain!” Jiang Ya finally figured it out and stammered, “You… you have a crush on a straight dude?”   

“Who the fuck knows if he’s straight or not.”

“And this straight dude has a girlfriend?”

“Ten years older than him.”

“…That’s intense.”

“I’m leaving.”

“Is there a possibility that,” Jiang Ya’s voice grew cautious, “he’s lying to make you give up?”

“Lie that he has a girlfriend?”

“Yeah. Ten years is way too much.”   

“I don’t think so.”

“It’s really possible. Think, if I suddenly start flirting with you… Won’t you make up a boyfriend to make me give up on you?”

“Can you use another example?” Tang Heng said.

“Then, if An-ge suddenly started flirting with me.”   

“Can you not use us three as examples?”

“You’re so picky!” Jiang Ya yelled. “Anyway, you should double check about his girlfriend! Oh, but if he really is straight, then you should give up no matter if he has a girlfriend or not.”

Tang Heng replied with silence. A beat later, he murmured, “Got it.”

 

Tang Heng didn’t ride his bike after leaving Jiang Ya’s home. Around 10 at night, Wuhan’s subway was still running and bustling with passengers. Line two was always so crowded. Tang Heng stood in the space between two carriages. Beside him were exhausted white-collared workers, head hanging, and chattering high school students in their school uniforms. He could even smell regan noodles.

It was seven stops from Jiedaokou to Jianghan Road—neither slow nor fast.

Tang Heng didn’t really believe Jiang Ya. At least, he felt that this possibility didn’t work out on Li Yuechi. Someone like Li Yuechi really didn’t seem the type to reject someone by lying. First, his life was already tiring enough. It wasn’t necessary to put in more energy for an unrelated person. Second, he probably wouldn’t lower himself to lie. All he had to do was reject someone briskly and the other would be mortified.

So, what was Tang Heng doing now?

Maybe he just wouldn’t give up until he got to the dead end, wouldn’t shed a tear until he saw his grave.

Arriving at Jianghan Road, Tang Heng followed the crowd out of the subway, a bit dazed. Then they all scattered in different directions. He soon got to the main entrance of Central Hospital’s patient ward. It was 9:42. The security guard yelled impatiently, “Watch the time! No more visiting after 10!”

“Oh, okay.” Tang Heng sped up but backtracked after a few steps. “Do you know which building is for tumor patients?”

“The one in the back!” The guard scanned him, seeming curious as to why this young man came to visit so late with empty hands.

Tang Heng thanked him and quickly walked into the building. Most of the patients were already resting at this hour. Some of the accompanying family members grouped at the end of the hall, chatting casually, while others were sleeping in the hall. Some people wore patient gowns and had IV drips; some wore their own clothes and were probably there to take care of the patients. Tang Heng faltered for a bit. He couldn’t imagine how it felt to sleep on the ground of a hospital hall that people walked to and fro across. The scene made him shiver.

“Hello, excuse me, which room is Zhao Xuelan in?”

“Zhao Xuelan, 7025.” The nurse’s voice had an undertone of exhaustion. “Keep walking forward.”

“Okay, thank you.”

Even now, Tang Heng was still in a daze. Zhao Xuelan, Li Yuechi’s girlfriend, was in the room right up ahead. But what was he going to do? Was he going to charge into the room of a woman with spreading cancer cells and demand, Are you Li Yuechi’s girlfriend? He couldn’t do something so cruel and crazy. But then, why did he come? To prove that Li Yuechi wasn’t lying? How could he prove it?

Tang Heng’s mind was a mess. He just kept walking and soon saw the sign 7025.

The door was closed, but it wasn’t closed tightly. It was a crack open.

Tang Heng knew there was no way he could push open that door.

But somehow, he still walked forward. He couldn’t explain why. He knew that he wouldn’t open the door—but he still walked to it. It was some kind of subconscious instinct.

Through the crack, Tang Heng saw a bald woman in a patient’s gown. Was this because of the chemotherapy? Her back was too thin that she seemed fragile.

She sat on the bed, her back to Tang Heng, and Li Yuechi sat across from her. He handed her a peeled apple. She shook her head and Li Yuechi placed the apple onto a plate on the side.

Would Li Yuechi buy fruit for himself? Tang Heng thought. He probably wouldn’t waste the money.

A few seconds later, her body gradually tilted forward and rested against Li Yuechi. She was too thin, leaning against Li Yuechi’s body like a weightless fallen leaf, while Li Yuechi was unmoving like a sturdy tree.

Tang Heng stared at them through the narrow crack without blinking.

Li Yuechi’s head was lowered, so Tang Heng couldn’t see his expression clearly. The only thing he was sure of was that for a long time, Li Yuechi didn’t move, letting her lean against him like that.

 

Author’s note: She really isn’t Xiao Li’s girlfriend.