Under Clear Skies Chapter 50: Cover Gazing Eyes

Chapter 50: Cover Gazing Eyes

Translated by Fefe of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Director Xu got up and walked out, but when he got to the door, he turned around again and asked seriously, “You really won’t go back with me?”

Tang Heng had his head lowered, not looking at the director. He made an “Mn” in reply.

“Then I’ll go back and write the report by myself.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“I’ll tell you now, I will definitely save Sun Jihao. Don’t get mad later.”

Tang Heng couldn’t stand it anymore. “Are you leaving or not?”

“Why’re you getting mad at me?” Director Xu muttered. “I’m not the one who fucks around with students. I’m just telling the truth—didn’t know that Tang Guomu could raise a nephew like this.”

With that, he put his hands in his pockets and left. His steps were lighter than before. Clearly, he was in a good mood.

Only Tang Heng and Li Yuechi remained in the room. For a moment, no one spoke.

Ducks quacked and chicken clucked outside. It was quite lively. However, Tang Heng seemed unable to hear anything. He just stared at his hands as voices from six years ago filled his ears.

 

Six years ago, Tang Guomu had paced back and forth in his office, brows furrowed in pain. He said, I never thought that Tian Xiaoqin… That this kid’s condition would be so bad! If I’d known, I’d rather pretend to date her than dare to reject her!

The regret in his voice had been so sincere that Tang Heng had no way of not believing his words. It wasn’t just him. Even the usually strict and unrelenting Professor An had said, Lao Tang, you’re just too charismatic. There are so many professors in the sociology department, but none of them are like you, spouting poetry every day. Don’t you know that you really attract young, naïve girls?   

His tone had been so matter-of-fact. Tian Xiaoqin had been attracted by Tang Guomu so matter-of-factly: a girl who was passionate for learning met an old man who was highly educated and full of talents. She fell madly in love with him, but she couldn’t have him, so she jumped off a building for him.

Was this so? They all said it back then. This was what had happened.

 

Tang Heng covered his mouth suddenly and started gagging. There was a storm inside his stomach. It wasn’t the bowl of noodles that Li Yuechi had cooked—it was those people’s words from six years ago. Those voices stirred his stomach like a giant hand. He wanted to vomit, but those words were stuck inside his throat like a ball of wet hair.    

Li Yuechi grasped Tang Heng’s shoulders and patted his back lightly.

Trembling, Tang Heng forced out the words, “Is it, disgusting?”

“Stop thinking about it,” Li Yuechi said.

“They all think that I should’ve known.” Tang Heng clenched his fists with all his might. His arm was shaking too. “I really didn’t know… But I actually believed them. Am I the culprit too?”

“Tang Heng!” Li Yuechi exclaimed softly. He grasped Tang Heng’s wrist and pried his fingers open.

The cigarette had long been crushed, burning a blister on Tang Heng’s palm.

“Li Yuechi—” Tang Heng mumbled. “Give me a cigarette.”

This time, Li Yuechi didn’t say anything else. He lit the cigarette and pushed it into Tang Heng’s mouth. Chinese cigarettes didn’t have a faint taste like foreign ones. They were heavy and thick. Tang Heng inhaled deeply and started coughing like crazy until his tears flowed out and his throat hurt. Finally, he felt a bit better.

After he smoked his fourth cigarette, Li Yuechi said in a low voice, “Stop.”

Tang Heng set down the pack wordlessly.

“Stop thinking about it, okay?” Li Yuechi touched Tang Heng’s face. “Talk to me.”

“Talk… Talk about what?”

“When did you start smoking?”

“I can’t remember.”

“You didn’t smoke before,” Li Yuechi said. “You had to sing.”   

“Mn.” Tang Heng shook his head. “But I don’t sing anymore.”

“Won’t ever sing again?”

“Yeah.”

“Sing for me.”

“I…” Tang Heng chuckled sadly. “My voice is damaged.”  

Li Yuechi was silent for a few seconds. Then, “It’s okay.”

Tang Heng was about to speak when he continued, “When I was in there, I didn’t listen to music for more than four years.”

This choked Tang Heng up. A beat later, he asked with his head lowered, “What do you want to hear?”

“The one you sang the first time I met you.”

“Let me try,” Tang Heng said.

He took a deep breath, hoping that his voice wouldn’t be so bad—he knew that his voice was damaged, perhaps due to smoking, perhaps due to some other reason. Anyway, it would never be so clear and bright as before. But at least, at least, it wouldn’t be too hoarse and raspy, right?

Tang Heng parted his lips. The first word—summer—in that instant, he realized with a start that he couldn’t pronounce it. Summer—his tongue pushed against his teeth. And then? And then, he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t sing it.   

“I don’t think I can sing this one,” Tang Heng said hoarsely.

Li Yuechi nodded. “Switch to another one.”    

“Which one?”

“Hushituo’s first song. Do you remember it?”

Tang Heng closed his eyes. “The one you wrote the lyrics for,” he said, as if in a trance.

“Mn.”

 

Yes, he knew the song that Li Yuechi was talking about. At that time, Hushituo had advanced to the final round of the competition. The judges required the bands to sing an original song. The one they sang had lyrics written by Li Yuechi and composed by An Yun—Hushituo’s first song.

“Cover Gazing Eyes,” Li Yuechi said.

Oh, right. Cover Gazing Eyes.

At that time, Jiang Ya kept complaining that An Yun’s arrangement was too complicated, multiplying his pressure for drumming. Then he would say with faux jealousy to Tang Heng, “That guy wrote a love song just for you. If you can’t sing it well, hurry up and let me sing it.”

And at that time, Tang Heng said coldly, “He didn’t fucking write it for you.”

Cover Gazing Eyes.

Tang Heng covered up his eyes and said anxiously, “I can’t remember the lyrics.”

Li Yuechi clutched his hand and said warmly, “It’s okay.”

“There are a lot of things that I can’t remember. When we were by the river, you asked if I could remember what you said before you stabbed Tang Guomu—I really can’t remember. Horrible, right?”

“It’s not your fault.”   

“But I forgot.” Tang Heng shook his head, continuing to speak by himself, “I can’t control it.”

Li Yuechi didn’t say anything else and just patted Tang Heng’s back. After some time, Tang Heng drifted asleep. He didn’t sleep well—the cold breeze blew on and off through the half-open window. Half-awake and half-asleep, Tang Heng found himself back in Wuhan from six years ago. The final round was held in Jiangtan. The three bands would perform and Hushituo would be the last to go onstage. They stood on the stage, surrounded by the audience and judges. He didn’t feel a shred of panic—because they’d already practiced this song countless times. The music started and he said, This song is called Cover Gazing Eyes.

And then—and then he couldn’t remember the lyrics.

It was strange that he could remember so many details from back then, but he just couldn’t remember the lyrics.

 

Tang Heng opened his eyes and stared at the dark pig-blood-colored ceiling. He pushed himself up and found Li Yuechi sitting by the window, back to him.

The window was indeed half-open, because Li Yuechi was smoking. It was that red pack of Zhonghua cigarettes. Only two were left now.

Li Yuechi snuffed the cigarette and walked to the bed. “Are you still unwell?” he asked.

Tang Heng stared at his fingertips. “Didn’t you stop smoking?”

Li Yuechi laughed. “If the cigarettes are here, you keep thinking about it.”

“I… I need to use your phone.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I need to search something.”

Li Yuechi handed him the phone. Tang Heng opened the browser and searched, First Zhouheiya Campus Band Competition. He actually found a news article and opened it. It was from a local Wuhan news site and a bunch of porn ads floated on the bottom of the page.

The first Zhouheiya Campus Band Competition was held successfully. Who is the champion… Let me introduce this band to everyone… Wujing Band from Hanyang Music Conservatory… Tang Heng read the news article word by word and found that it only introduced the winning band.

Hushituo wasn’t the champion that year.

Not giving up, he searched Cover Gazing Eyes. The results had nothing to do with the song—the entire screen was filled with Do not fear the clouds covering the gazing eyes.

Could it be that there was no trace of the song they had sung?

 

“Yuechi, go burn the firewood.”   

“Okay,” Li Yuechi answered his mom. He got up and left.

Tang Heng stared at the screen, feeling like he’d been tossed into a barren land. His memory and existence didn’t count anymore. He remembered Tian Xiaoqin; Tian Xiaoqin’s death didn’t count either. Many people thought that she’d committed suicide because her love for Tang Guomu hadn’t been reciprocated, right? In this world, so many memories vanished without a trace, the witnesses dead and unable to prove a thing.

Tang Heng woodenly pressed on the screen, not knowing what he was looking for. Absentmindedly, he opened the livestreaming app and found that Li Yuechi only followed one account, WR Lili. She had two thousand fans—it wasn’t that many.   

WR Lili didn’t seem to be a professional livestreamer. Her last livestream had been March 20th. Tang Heng opened up her profile by chance—indeed, it was only by chance—and saw that she’d covered some songs before.

February 14, Floating Across the Sea to See You: “Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone~”

January 5, Our Anniversary: “Suddenly wanted to sing this song.”

October 8 of last year, Thousand-Year Love: “Singing with my friend!”

July 16 of last year—

Cover Gazing Eyes.

“I happened to hear a recording of this song a while back. I couldn’t find the lyrics or music, so I could only cover it myself~”

 

Tang Heng held his breath. He stared at the words Cover Gazing Eyes, his fingertips trembling. A few seconds later, he finally dared to open the video.

When the music started, he was like a floating kite that was suddenly nailed within time.

The first line arrived and there was no need to continue. He remembered it was the lyrics that Li Yuechi had written for him—

 

Facing the rain splashed from the sky to the river

I love

The gazing eyes covered by your long hair  

 

East Lake, goodbye

Luoyu, goodbye

Line 2, goodbye        

Translator’s note: Cover Gazing Eyes (Zhe Wang Yan) is taken from the Song Dynasty poem also quoted in this chapter: those who stand high and see far (have great foresight) should not fear the clouds covering your eyes.