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Chapter 47

That night, Yan Han didn’t sleep together with Wen Qing.

Instead, he smoked alone in the study room.

Wen Qing wants to leave.

But can I let him go?

It wasn’t like he hadn’t tried to let the other person go.

When Wen Bai came to find him three years ago, he had actually just found out about Wen Qing’s location. The file in his hands clearly documented all of Wen Qing’s recent activities. What did Wen Bai say that made him give up on finding the other person?

He said that he was afraid. Afraid that there was no longer a person called Wen Qing left in this world.

He too, was afraid himself. Despite usually always sporting a kind smile, Wen Qing was extremely resolute in character.

Back then when Wen Qing was still working, someone intentionally made things difficult for him at the dining table. At the time, he stubbornly refused to concede and downed an entire bottle of spirit. When he went to pick Wen Qing up, the other’s face was pale, yet he had bid goodbye to the crowd with a smile on his face. In the end, he suffered from gastric bleeding that night and had to stay at hospital for quite a while before he recovered. After that, Wen Qing secretly tripped that person up and got them fired. Since then, his career continued to skyrocket. Later, when Wen Qing decided to quit his job for him, there wasn’t an ounce of hesitation as he discarded his years of hard work just like that.

It wasn’t as if the incident had never weighed on his mind, instead it was that for the most part, it felt more like a kind of joyous self satisfaction.

See, Wen Qing loved him so much.

That’s why when Wen Qing left so resolutely three years ago, he still faintly believed that Wen Qing wouldn’t really leave him. He thought that Wen Qing needed some time to himself to recuperate because he had committed too many mistakes in the past twelve years. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be good for Wen Qing’s health, as someone who always endured everything. He was also indeed afraid of Wen Qing leaving, and so in the end he still went to County S to find him.

He actually had other thoughts back then.

He had been together with Wen Qing for twelve years already, it was about time he got tired of him, so he might as well have used the opportunity to break up. At the time, he had kept his eye out for any suitable boys around him, but he always thought that either the colour of their hair was too light, or that there hips were too skinny, or that their skin was a bit too dark. It wasn’t until later that he realised that his mind was full of Wen Qing’s figure, and that no other person could spark his interest.

He had constantly got someone to keep an eye on Wen Qing. The times when he wasn’t by the other person’s side, he spent many nights gazing at Wen Qing’s picture in order to fall asleep. In the picture, Wen Qing was smiling at someone in a tranquil manner. Sometimes when he squinted his eyes to see, it seemed as if Wen Qing was smiling at him.

Sometimes he would also think back to what went on between Wen Qing and Wen Bai, and then he would be unable to fall asleep from anger. At times he would also hate himself. Why did he still stay together with Yan ZiChen all day even though he knew that Wen Qing had his suspicions about them three years ago? Just so he could see him become jealous? He also regretted the fact that he slept with Yan ZiChen at home that night due to his anger at Wen Qing and Wen Bai’s relationship. He also regretted the fact that he indifferently agreed to Wen Qing’s request to break up that day purely to save face.

He clearly had so many opportunities to redeem the situation, yet why couldn’t he even grasp onto a single one of them?

He endured it for two years, but in the end he still couldn’t stop himself from going to find him. Yet, at the same time, he was too afraid to meet with him directly, and so only ever dared to buy two serves of his favourite tiramisu every week Han Wei was on shift. Every time he went, he felt as if the day of Wen Qing’s return would draw closer.

He knew that Han Wei’s father had gotten into trouble, and so he waited for Wen Qing to come back and find him.

But he didn’t, instead he went to find Wen Bai for money.

It was only then that he thought perhaps Wen Qing really didn’t want to come back. However, how could he so easily allow himself to disappear from the other’s life. Thus, he paid back the debt first and as expected, Wen Qing personally called him a few days later.

Subsequently, when he asked him to come back, the other person had also agreed.

What was he thinking?

He was thinking about how as expected, Wen Qing couldn’t do without him. Sure enough, he came back in the end.

He still loved him.

That’s right, he still loved him.

How could he let him go then?

He would even chain him up for a lifetime if he had to.

In the study room, stars of cigarette flame continued to burn throughout the night.

Chapter 48

When Wen Qing woke up, Yan Han was sitting on the edge of bed, looking at him.

Yan Han’s eyes were bloodshot, and there were hints of cyan hue on his chin due to an emerging stubble.

“You didn’t sleep all night?” Wen Qing asked.

Yan Han nodded his head.

“Then have you made up your mind yet?” Wen Qing sat up and leaned against the pillow.

“I have.” Yan Han paused, “You can’t leave. I can give you anything you want.”

“No room for compromise?”

“No.” The man calmly gazed at Wen Qing.

“Then you can leave first and leave me alone.” Wen Qing turned his head to the side and looked out the window.

Yan Han didn’t move.

“Do I have to die in front of you to make you willingly give up?” Wen Qing’s eyes were full of coldness.

Yan Han swallowed before he stood up and looked towards the door.

Assistant Xiao Zhang walked in and bowed towards Wen Qing, “Hi Wen Ge.”

Yan Han glimpsed at Xiao Zhang before telling Wen Qing, “I’ll come back as soon as I finish my meeting today. He’ll look after you while I’m away.”

Wen Qing pulled his lips into a tight line, and faint blue veins popped up on his forehead.

Just as Yan Han turned around to leave, a huge crash thundered behind him.

Wen Qing had thrown the bedside lamp onto the floor. There were glass shards everywhere as Wen Qing stood on top of them with his feet.

Blood gradually seeped out beneath his pale feet that stood on top of the pitch black floorboards.

Yan Han’s pupils dilated before he hurriedly walked over in an attempt to grab Wen Qing.

Wen Qing retreated a step back, and the sound of glass shards scraping against the floor echoed.

Yan Han forced himself to a halt, too afraid to move.

Xiao Zhang stood to the side and blankly gazed at the expressionless Wen Qing. The pure thought of this situation made his own feet faintly ache.

Yan Han’s heart clenched in pain as he shouted at Xiao Zhang, “What are you looking at!? Hurry up and go get the car!”

Xiao Zhang instantly ran out in a flustered manner.

“You aren’t going to let me leave, right?” Wen Qing’s expression was placid.

“Don’t do anything foolish!” Yan Han knit his brows tightly.

“I’m fooling around?” Wen Qing laughed, “You won’t let me go, so why do I still need my feet?”

Yan Han hardened his heart and went over to pick Wen Qing off the floor despite the other’s struggles.

When Xiao Zhang saw Yan Han come out with Wen Qing in his arms, he quickly got off the car to open the door, not daring to look at Wen Qing’s feet.

After everything was settled, he hurriedly drove to the downtown hospital.

The doctor before him looked as if he had been put in a slightly difficult situation, “Glass is a bit special. The larger glass shards are easier to treat, and as for the smaller ones… we won’t be able to see them clearly during operation due to the bleeding. They won’t show up on an X-ray either…” The doctor glimpsed at Yan Han’s expression and hesitated, not daring to continue.

“Speak.” Yan Han frowned.

“We didn’t remove all of the glass shards. The smaller pieces… can only be removed once they surface in the future.”

Yan Han took a drag on a cigarette. The doctor was contemplating about whether or not to tell him that smoking was not permitted here, when Yan Han asked, “Will it hurt to walk?”

The doctor wiped away the sweat on his forehead and replied, “It will hurt more or less. Plus, there is quite a lot of glass shards on the bottom of the patient’s feet, and the wound is pretty deep.”

Yan Han’s head ached as his temples throbbed.

He pinched his cigarette out and got up to leave.

Chapter 49

Wen Bai sat quietly in the meeting room.

An hour had already passed since the meeting time.

President Yan still hadn’t arrived. There was a fine layer of cold sweat on the assistant’s forehead. President Wen was young, yet he was a cunning man. If President Yan didn’t come soon, then he was afraid that the other opposition would get all the large shares. Just then, the secretary came inside and whispered a few words into the assistant’s ear. The assistant’s face instantly paled.

Wen Bai lifted the corners of his lips, “Is President Yan caught up in some trouble and unable to make it today?”

The assistant nodded his head in apology, “Something happened and President Yan is currently in hospital. I’m afraid that the date for the contract to be signed may need to be delayed.”

“Hospital?” Wen Bai frowned as he felt anxious on the inside, “What’s wrong with President Yan? The contract can’t be signed today anyways, why don’t we go visit President Yan in hospital?”

The deputy wiped away the sweat on his forehead, “To tell you the truth, President Yan isn’t the one who’s had an accident. It’s President Yan’s… uh… family member.”

Wen Bai instantly stood up, and the chair made a ear-piercing sound as it scraped against the floor, “Which hospital is it?”

When Wen Bai saw Wen Qing through window outside the hospital room, his heart instantly clenched.

He looked at Yan Han and coldly asked, “What happened?”

Yan Han didn’t reply and turned around to make his way towards the room.

Wen Bai stepped forward and angrily grabbed onto Yan Han’s collar, pushing him up against the wall, “Aren’t you the one who ruined him and made him come back!?”

Yan Han didn’t get mad, in fact he didn’t even lift his head up to look at Wen Bai. He lifted the corners of his mouth, “What do you know? Even if I did ruin him, what can you do about it?”

“You can’t possibly still think that he’ll let you ruin him because he loves you.” Wen Bai was emanating a vicious aura.

Yan Han shook his head, “So what if he doesn’t love me? Don’t you understand yet? You should’ve gotten the picture three years ago when he didn’t get together with you after we broke up. No matter who he becomes entangled with in his life, it will never be you.”

“Bullshit! You don’t understand him at all!”

“Then tell me why he didn’t end up taking your three million dollars, and instead chose to come back with me,” Yan Han’s expression was slightly contemptuous.

Wen Bai remained silent as he furrowed his brows.

“Even if he wants to drag this out and pull someone down into hell with him, that person will be me and me only. You’re destined to have nothing to do with the twelve years we share together. Even if he wants to leave by himself, his mind will only think of the person who’s ruined half his lifetime’s worth of youth and love: me.”

Wen Bai gradually loosened the grip on his hands and stood up straight, “Why can’t you treat him better?”

“Yeah. Why can’t I treat him better?” It was as if Yan Han was mumbling to himself.

He looked towards the person who was lying on the bed inside the hospital room.

The person’s feet were wrapped up like a big Zongzi[1].

Their face was pale as they rested with their eyes shut.

Without a hint of life.

[1] 粽子 (Zongzi) This is a traditional Chinese food that is eaten on the Dragon Boat Festival. It’s typically a pyramid-shaped ‘dumpling’ that is made of glutinous rice wrapped in bamboo or reed leaves, hence it’s used for imagery in this particular case to describe the bandages around Wen Qing’s feet.
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Rui (Translator)


Iceberg (<-- Bullied in EXR ;-;)


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September 23, 2018 9:10 am

My heart is breaking.

September 23, 2018 9:14 am

I don’t really think Yan Han is being resonable. And I know Wen Bai has good intentions, but just leave the poor guy alone ! At least Wen Qing has decided to take a step away from Yan Han . But really , Yan Han is making it so much difficult. Although I’m all about original couple shipping , but after Yan Han’s internal monologue, I really can’t get myself to accept him for Wen Qing. *sigh* And Wen Bai gets grinded between their problems. Yan Han is the definition of the typical ” arrogant seme who would do what… Read more »

September 23, 2018 10:56 am

I really do not understand what YH is trying to do, if he does this for “love” or just wants to punish him for abandoning him and moving on without him, anyway I just hope that WQ can be happy
Thanks for the chapter! 💕💕💕

September 23, 2018 12:08 pm

Just 4 chapters left…i really hope it’s not going to be a tragic ending with WQ’s death..but seeing how selfish and egoistical bastard YH is maybe it’s better this way 🙁

September 23, 2018 1:06 pm

Mi corazón duele ;—;
Thanks for the chapters! ♥♥

September 23, 2018 3:02 pm


February nita
February nita
September 23, 2018 4:00 pm

Why yan han so arrogant and foolish ? I know he is hold on thigh wen qing just because he don’t want loose the comfortable he has from wen , in the end he made wen qing suffer 😒

September 23, 2018 6:07 pm

Look Yan Han loves his man and that’s that. He takes his lover too much for granted though. It’s probably too late for those two.

September 23, 2018 7:59 pm

Yan Han became tyranny to wen qing

September 23, 2018 8:27 pm

perhaps leaving wen qing alone was the best choice. then yan han would visit regularly, court wen qing in the process, until his love for yan han comes back.

September 24, 2018 1:35 am

Just let him go Yan Han 😢😢😢

Alex Baine
Alex Baine
September 24, 2018 4:23 am

YH and WQ should stay together for the sake of the country; no use letting these two with their corrupted hearts out into the public to fuck up anyone else. WB is already a casualty, no more please.

September 24, 2018 4:52 am

I just want to see both of them happy. This is so heartbreaking. 😭

September 24, 2018 6:42 am


September 25, 2018 8:32 pm

Hmm… Wen Qing, are we losing you darling? :’(

Green Leaf
Green Leaf
September 26, 2018 12:43 am

Although I hesitated reading this because it’s labeled a tragedy, I don’t regret it. It’s much more engrossing than so many other things I’ve been reading out of boredom. I don’t see a “happy” ending to this, but I do see one that may offer a glimmer of hope and character growth. We will see how the author ties it up. At the same time, I don’t actually dislike any of these characters. For some reason, I feel for all of them, including Yan Han. And I think that’s a sign of good story-telling, when the author actually makes readers… Read more »

September 30, 2018 10:04 pm

Wen Qing…. 😭😭😭

maiha sama
maiha sama
March 9, 2019 12:56 pm

What is YH doing?! In his entire inner monologue he didn’t once think all that cheating he did was wrong!! He’s just taking WQ for granted.. aaaahh this isn’t going to end well. More than anything, I don’t think YH will. Realise what he did/is doing wrong!!!

April 22, 2020 4:19 am

this is so painful… just few more chapters. Let’s endure till the end

June 22, 2021 2:39 pm

Yan Han sucks but so does Wen Qing. No one is actually forcing Wen to come back or stay. It’s all just verbal. Someone said date me or come back and he’s like okay whatever. He’s choosing to do this stupid shit just to punish Yan Han at the cost of punishing himself as well. It’s so stupid. Just say no, fuck off and move on. That’s divorce.

December 29, 2022 12:30 pm

I just realised there is an estimate reading time at the beginning of the chapter, and I’d just like to point out how much of a lie that is. Once you read, you literally can’t stop for hours and just cry in bed. It’s 3.30 and I’ve spent more than 2 hours on this.
Also, everytime WQ is with YH I just get scared. I’m scared that he starts breaking down more and more and eventually can’t handle it. I hope WQ finds peace.

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