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Chapter 102: Hatred—Part Five

Although he was pierced right through the chest, Jiang Cheng wasn’t so weak as to have died right then. It just wasn’t the best for him to move or conjure up his spiritual powers. He didn’t like it when others tried to help him, turning to Jin Ling he said, “Fuck off.”

Jin Ling knew Jiang Cheng was still mad at him for running around. He felt guilty and didn’t dare defend himself. The dog’s barks came from afar, followed by a sudden wail. Jin Ling shuddered as he remembered what Jin GuangYao said, shouting, “Fairy, run! They’re gonna kill you!”

Soon, Su She rushed through the storm, furious. Jin GuangYao, “You didn’t kill it?”

Su She’s expression darkened, “I couldn’t. Can’t believe the dog’s so spineless. It’s wild when somebody’s there to help it, but as soon as it’s at a disadvantage, it runs away faster than anyone!”

Jin GuangYao shook his head, “It might lead someone else over. We should finish things quickly here.”

Su She, “Those good-for-nothings! I’ll go make them hurry.”

Jin Ling, on the other hand, let out a sigh of relief. Seeing Jiang Cheng sit on the ground, still dark-faced, he turned to Lan WangJi after some hesitation, “HanGuang-Jun, are there any more sitting mats?”

The four mats that they’d been sitting on were all gathered by Lan WangJi. However, there were only four within the temple. After some silence, Lan WangJi stood up and pushed over the one he’d been sitting on. 

Jin Ling hurried, “Thank you! It’s fine. I’ll just give him mine…”

Lan WangJi, “There is no need.”

As soon as he finished, he sat down beside Wei WuXian. Even as the two sat so seriously on the same sitting mat, they didn’t seem too cramped. Now that the mat was handed over already, Jin Ling scratched his head before dragging Jiang Cheng over. Jiang Cheng first pressed onto an acupoint at his chest, stopping the blood flow. After he sat down, he looked up and glanced over at Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi. He soon looked down again. His face was gloomy, disclosing nothing of what he was thinking.

Right at this point, an ecstatic cry came from behind the palace, “Sect Leader! We got it! A corner is out already!”

Jin GuangYao’s expression relaxed quite somewhat. He quickly walked back behind the palace, “Press on! Please be careful. There’s not much time left.”

Over a dozen streaks of lightning twisted their way across the edge of the sky. They were soon followed by a series of roaring thunder. Over there, Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi sat together while Jiang Cheng sat at the side. Jin Ling dragged his own mat over as well. Amid the pounding of the rain, there was a long while of dead, awkward silence. Nobody spoke up.

But for some reason, Jin Ling seemed as if he really wanted to talk to them. After some glancing around, he suddenly began, “Uncle, good thing you stopped that guqin string earlier on, or else things would be pretty bad.”

Jiang Cheng’s face darkened, “You can shut up!”

If not for him leaving Jin GuangYao with a chance for a sneak attack due to his own unstable emotions, he wouldn’t have landed in the enemy’s hands either. On top of that, in reality, Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi could’ve completely dodged the attack on their own. Even though, right now, Lan WangJi had no spiritual powers and Wei WuXian’s were low to begin with, their skills were still there. They couldn’t attack, but they were still able to dodge. Clumsily, Jin Ling was trying to speak for his uncle, yet the deliberation made the situation even more awkward.

After being scolded, Jin Ling stopped talking, embarrassed. Jiang Cheng sealed his lips together and didn’t speak again. 

Wei WuXian didn’t say anything either. In the past, he’d definitely laugh at Jiang Cheng for being so easily-provoked that he gave the opponent an opportunity. But now, recalling what Jin GuangYao said, he understood everything.

Jiang Cheng knew the truth already.

Lan WangJi stroked Wei WuXian’s back a few more times. Wei WuXian looked up. Lan WangJi didn’t seem at all surprised. His eyes were almost gentle. Wei WuXian felt his heart skip a beat. He couldn’t help but whisper, “… You knew?”

Lan WangJi nodded slowly.

Wei WuXian let out a light breath, “… Wen Ning.”

Wen Ning had originally been keeping Suibian, but now it was in Jiang Cheng’s hands. And on their way back from Lotus Pier, Wen Ning said nothing of such a matter.

Wei WuXian, “When did he say it?”

Lan WangJi, “While you were unconscious.”

Wei WuXian, “This was how we left Lotus Pier?!”

If not that Wen Ning hadn’t found them yet, Wei WuXian would definitely have begun glaring at him already.

Lan WangJi, “He always felt sorry for you.”

Wei WuXian’s tone was tinged with anger, “… I told him so many times not to say it!”

Out of the blue, Jiang Cheng spoke up, “Not to do what?”

Wei WuXian paused in surprise, turning to him along with Lan WangJi. Jiang Cheng covered his wound with one hand, his voice chilly, “Wei WuXian, you’re such a great, selfless person. You did the best things possible, and you swallowed all the suffering and didn’t let anyone know. What a touching story. I should kneel down and cry in gratitude, shouldn’t I?”

Hearing the mocking tone that lacked any courtesy, Lan WangJi’s face grew cold. Jin Ling saw the displeased expression and immediately stood in front of Jiang Cheng, scared that Lan WangJi would kill him with one strike, “Uncle!”

Wei WuXian’s expression worsened as well. He never expected Jiang Cheng to make up with him after he found out the truth, but he didn’t think his tone would be as unkind as ever, either. With a moment of silence, he replied, voice muffled, “I never asked you to thank me.”

Jiang Cheng let out a hah, “Of course. Giving without expecting anything in return. What a high level. Unlike me, of course. So that’s why my father always said you were the one who truly understood the Jiang Sect’s motto and did things the Jiang way, back when he was alive.”

Wei WuXian couldn’t keep on listening any longer, interrupting him, “Enough.”

Jiang Cheng’s voice harshened, “What do you mean, enough? It’s enough as long as you say so? You know everything! You’re better than me at everything! Whether it be talent or cultivation or spirituality or personality, you guys knew everything while I was much lower—then what am I?!?!”

He suddenly reached out, as if to seize Wei WuXian’s collar. Lan WangJi grabbed Wei WuXian’s shoulder with one hand, letting Wei WuXian stand behind him, and with his other hand he forcefully pushed away Jiang Cheng’s hand. Rage could be seen hidden within his eyes. Although his push held no spiritual energy, it was quite powerful in terms of strength. The wound at Jiang Cheng’s chest ripped apart again. Blood surged. 

Jin Ling cried, “Uncle, your wound! HanGuang-Jun, spare some mercy!”

However, Lan WangJi’s voice was cold, “Jiang WanYin, spare some virtue!”

Lan XiChen took off his outer robe and lay it over the shivering Nie HuaiSang, “Sect Leader Jiang, please do not be so agitated. Your injury will worsen.”

Jiang Cheng shoved Jin Ling, who’d been holding him up helplessly, out of the way. Even though he was losing blood, it rushed to his head unceasingly. His face switched between white and red, “Why? Wei WuXian, just fucking why?”

Behind Lan WangJi, Wei WuXian replied stiffly, “Why what?”

Jiang Cheng, “Just how much did we the Jiang Sect give you? I’m supposed to be his son, I’m supposed to be the heir of the YunmengJiang Sect, yet all these years I’ve been outdone by you at every single thing. You paid for your bringing-up with life! The lives of my dad, my mom, my sister, and Jin ZiXuan! Because of you, all that’s left is a parentless Jin Ling!”

Jin Ling trembled. His shoulders sunk, and his face sagged as well. Wei WuXian moved his lips, but he couldn’t say anything. Lan WangJi turned around to hold his hand. 

On the other hand, Jiang Cheng refused to give up, shouting, “Wei WuXian, who was the one who broke his promise and betrayed the Jiang Sect first? Tell me. That I’d be the sect leader and you’d be my subordinate, that you’d help me your whole life, that so long as the GusuLan Sect had its Two Jades, the YunmengJiang Sect would have its Two Prides, that you’d never betray me or betray the Jiang Sect—who was the one that said these?! I’m asking you—who was the one that said all these?! Did you eat all your fucking words?!”

He got more agitated as he ranted on, “And in the end? You go and protect outsiders, haha! The Wen Sect’s people, even. How much of their rice did you eat?! Defecting with such resolution! What did you take our sect to be?! You did all the best things, yet every time you do the worst ones, it’s involuntary! Forced! With some unspeakable grievances! Grievances?! You told me nothing, you played me for a fool!!!

“Just how much do you owe the Jiang Sect? Am I not supposed to hate you? Can I not hate you?! Why is it that now it’s like I’m supposed to have wronged you?! Why do I have to feel like I’m a fucking clown all these years?! What am I? Do I deserve to be blinded by all your dazzling splendor?! Am I not supposed to hate you?!”

Lan WangJi shot up. With panic, Jin Ling stood in front of Jiang Cheng, “HanGuang-Jun! My uncle’s hurt…”

Jiang Cheng slapped him onto the ground, “Let him come! Am I scared of him?!”

But after the slap, Jin Ling froze. Not only him, Wei WuXian, Lan WangJi, and Lan XiChen all stopped moving.

Jiang Cheng was crying. Tears poured from his eyes as he forced through his teeth, “… Why… Why didn’t you tell me?!”

Jiang Cheng clenched his fist, like he wanted to hit someone, like he wanted to hit himself. In the end, he still slammed it onto the ground. He should’ve been able to loathe Wei WuXian without a care. But right now, the golden core revolving within him took away all that confidence.

Wei WuXian didn’t know what to say.

In the beginning, it was precisely because he didn’t want to see such a Jiang Cheng that he decided not to tell him.

He remembered every single thing he promised Jiang FengMian and Madam Yu—to help and take care of Jiang Cheng. If someone as unhealthily competitive as him found out about this, he’d be dispirited his whole life, too tortured to face himself. There’d always be something he could never overcome, reminding him that he could only reach where he was because of another’s sacrifice. It wasn’t at all his cultivation and his achievement. No matter if he won or lost, he’d long since lost the right to compete.

Afterwards, it was because Jin ZiXuan and Jiang YanLi died for him that he had no face to let others know. To tell Jiang Cheng after what happened then would be like shirking responsibility, hurrying to demonstrate that he’d contributed as well. It’d be like telling Jiang Cheng, don’t hate me, look I’ve contributed to the YunmengJiang Sect too.

Jiang Cheng cried soundlessly, but tears had already streaked across his face. To cry in such an unsightly way in front of others was almost impossible for him in the past. But every single moment that passed from now on, as long as the golden core remained in his body, as long as it could still revolve, he’d forever remember this feeling.

He choked, “… You said I’d be the sect leader and you’d be my subordinate, you said you’d help me your whole life, you said you’d never betray the YunmengJiang Sect… You said so yourself.”

“…” After a moment of silence, Wei WuXian replied, “I’m sorry. I broke my promise.”

Jiang Cheng shook his head, burying his face deep into his palms. A second later, he suddenly burst out with a laugh. His muffled voice mocked, “It’s such a time already, and I still need you to say sorry to me. What a fragile person I am.”

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496 Comments

  1. Omg, this is what I’ve been waiting for between WWX and JC!! Even though I knew feels were coming, it still made me teary eyed.

    I totally get what JC is feeling though and how he honestly feels helpless when compared to WWX and is constantly being protected by WWX in some way. ;-; And look at Jin Ling!! This baby boy is trying to protect his uncle even though he gets pushed around by JC. :’v

    As always thanks for these translations!! I’m kinda excited to see how the situation plays out with JC pouring out his pent up emotions.

  2. thank for the chapter.

    this chapter make me feel so sad, poor jiang cheng all those feelings for so long keeps inside his heart.for wei yin is so difficult to anwers those questions.

  3. Also, haha, 2/3rds of the hostages are here coz of Jin Ling getting caught like a dummy ahahaha. Otherwise jgy would only have nhs and lxc, and there would literally be 0 drama happening

  4. I’m pleasantly surprised at how affectionate and protective LWJ is of WWX now that his feelings are out and returned! I was expecting him to still be pretty frigid around others and no PDA whatsoever but here they are hugging and holding hands and LWJ is about to kick JC’s butt for badmouthing WWX. Lan Zhan is so freaking adorable rn and I CANNOT wait to see how he acts when he and WWX are finally alone now that their feelings are out in the open ^_^

    1. I loved his little protective gestures 💓
      Like just letting WWX know that he’s there for him… I have a feeling they’ll be picking up from where they left off the last time when they’re finally alone 😏

  5. Thanks for the update!!

    Jiang Cheng 🙁 you’re such a precious boy… You underestimate yourself so much and without a reason!!
    Wei Wuxian is strong, this is true. But he is not better than you or anyone. Everybody has difficulties in something and do bad things sometimes. He wasn’t the only one who attempted the impossible. You also did so!!! What about the Yunmeng Jiang sect massacre? You were strong and passed through all of that. Wei Wuxian was gone, no where in sight, and even so you was able to rebuild the sect and take the lead in such a young age. IN THE MIDDLE OF A WAR!!!
    You got through so many things… Your parents’ death, sister and brother-in-law’s deaths. The massacre. The Sunshot Campaing. The rise and decline of your brother and best friend, turning him into your worst enemy even though you still loved him deep in your heart.. We love you and you should be more proud of yourself, because everyone can see your efforts.
    I hope so badly for you to be happy someday, I love you Jiang Cheng 💖

    Thanks again for the chapter and for rge song!

  6. I really cried after reading it… I mean, I always feel it, but finally Jiang Cheng saying his true feeling after those long years.. He always been in pain, lonely and sad, his hatred is just how much he missed Wuxian and hoping that Wuxian will always be there for him, like what he intended to do since they were young. I can truly understand, even though Jiang Cheng is rough, he always think of Wuxian as his brother sincerely, and being betrayed pained him :”( Of course Jiang Cheng wasn’t all good, he was selfish and he done wrong too, but he deserved to be understood and to be loved :”) we all saw how much Jiang Cheng loved Wuxian as brother when they were young, he was just a poor boy, wanting to be loved by his family :’) please give my Jiang Cheng a happy ending too!! >.<

    As always thank you for the translation 💜💜💜💜

  7. I knew that Jiang Cheng’s pent up feelings would come up at some point but oh boy, didn’t they come with such vigor. Feeling second to your family while someone else had the spotlight must have caused him grief for years even after he killed Wei Wuxian. He grew to love and hate him at the same time. He still loves him since they grew up together, but everything about their relationship is a mess. He’s both right and wrong. I really want to see how they’ll turn out. Although I think it would he best if they separate ways entirely. The past is too much for both of them.

  8. Omg Jiang Cheng… don’t be like this… this is so sad, I’m feeling bad for all the things that happened to you, but I’m sure it will get better, ok? (*comforting JC because I’d cry more and more if I didn’t do that*)

  9. lmao Nie HuaiSang is so quiet that I forgot he was even there XD
    But ahh the feels… I feel like I need to comfort Jiang Cheng like everyone else because he needs love–
    Thanks for the chapter C:

  10. Such a great chapter. Music was perfect for this. I think Jiang Cheng needed this moment to vent for he couldn’t any other time. Thank you for the update!

  11. I just want to hug everyone right now.. especially Jiang Cheng 😭
    Sadly, it seems that reconciliation between him and Wei WuXian is impossible… Because it’s not based on misunderstanding anymore – they really have hurt and taken too much from each other, and it’s just made even more painful because I think they can both see that the other has just as much right to hatred as they…

    *Hic* Thank you for the chapter!

  12. Jiang Cheng is NOT my favorite person, ever. But I can understand the pain he feels now, knowing all he has achieved is Thanks to WWX’s sacrifice.

    I’d like they to be able to reconciliate in some way, but there’s so much pain.

    Thanks for the chapter!

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