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Chapter 95: Longing (Part Six)

Lan WangJi didn’t listen to him. His eyes were still glued to Wei WuXian as though he was scared that if he blinked once, Wei WuXian might run away. Wei WuXian reached out to shut his eyes, and he buried the lower half of his face into the water, letting out a series of bubbles. Wei WuXian laughed as he lightly pinched his cheek, “Er-Gege, how old are you?”

He grabbed the soap and cloth from the side, and wiped from Lan WangJi’s face downwards. As he wiped away, his movements suddenly paused.

Back then, Lan WangJi took off his hair tie and forehead ribbon on his own. His hair fell and covered his upper body. But now, after he moved Lan WangJi’s wet, black hair behind his shoulder and began to wipe his chest, the thirty-or-so discipline whip marks and the brand at his chest could be seen with clarity.

Wei WuXian took the cloth and moved to his back.

The whip marks climbed from Lan WangJi’s back all the way to his chest, shoulders, arms, sprawling across the smooth, white skin. These almost hideous scars, whether dark or light, destroyed what could be called the perfect male body.

“…” Wei WuXian was suddenly silent. He dipped the cloth in water and traced the whip scars. 

He was extremely gentle, as if he didn’t want to hurt Lan WangJi, but these were old wounds already. They’d never hurt again. And even if they were fresh scars, with Lan WangJi’s personality, he definitely wouldn’t display a single sign of weakness, even at the most painful times.

Wei WuXian really wanted to use this opportunity to ask him just how in the world he got these scars. In the GusuLan Sect, the only people with the right to punish Lan WangJi like this were Lan XiChen and Lan QiRen. Just what did he do for his brother, the one closest to him, or his uncle, the one who single-handedly brought him up and took pride in him so much, to do such a cruel deed? The QishanWen Sect’s brand that he’d never seen, and the question that he’d always held in the back of his mind, the question he wanted to ask the most—

HanGuang-Jun, just what do you think of me?

But every time it was close, he’d find some reason to blur things over. Like maybe he shouldn’t be so eager and ask after he played with him long enough; like not being so casual and asking after they sat down properly; like maybe the words of the drunk weren’t to be trusted.

Despite all these excuses, he knew the real reason quite well.

It was probably because he was afraid. He was scared he’d hear an answer different from what he hoped for.

Suddenly, Lan WangJi turned around and glanced at him. Wei WuXian finally noticed that as he scrubbed him, his mind began to roam around, rubbing the snowy skin on Lan WangJi’s back so red that it seemed like someone had beat him up. Wei WuXian thought the look Lan WangJi gave him might mean he wasn’t satisfied with the work, and so he stopped at once, “Sorry, sorry. Does it hurt?”

Lan WangJi didn’t say anything, only shaking his hand. Seeing how he looked, all quiet and obedient, sitting in the tub, Wei WuXian felt quite sorry. Curving his finger, he scratched his chin to show comfort. Just the chin wasn’t even enough. Feeling his fingers itch, he even wanted to poke Lan WangJi’s abs, but before it was even halfway there, his wrist was suddenly caught by Lan WangJi, whose voice was low, “Do not touch me.”

A few transparent drops of water still remained on his eyelashes and his handsome features. His expression seemed cold, but his eyes were searing.

Tonight, Wei WuXian had already done countless frivolous little things to Lan WangJi. He’d long since gotten used to Lan WangJi letting him do whatever he wanted. Right now, having been stopped so suddenly, he was still brave, “Why not? Haven’t you let me touch you for so long already?”

Lan WangJi’s lips were sealed. He said nothing, whether angered or not. Seeing this, Wei WuXian was a bit guilty, “Fine. I won’t touch you anymore. Do it yourself.”

As he spoke, he tossed the cloth away and was about to leave. Yet, not only did Lan WangJi refuse to let him go, the hand around his wrist gripped even tighter. He ordered, “Do not go.”

Wei WuXian struggled for sometime and couldn’t get out of it. He steeled his nerves, “HanGuang-Jun, now you’re at fault here. You told me to wash your face, didn’t let me touch you, and didn’t let me go. Just what do you want me to do?”

“…” After a moment of silence, Lan WangJi’s tone was almost unreasonable, “In any case, you may not go.”

Wei WuXian splashed some water onto Lan WangJi’s face, “Look at you, all domineering and unreasonable!”

Lan WangJi didn’t flinch or dodge even as the water splashed onto his face, “I told you not to touch me.”

This seemed like a warning. Perhaps because the wine really had a strong aftereffect, Wei WuXian’s head felt abnormally feverish. The corner of his mouth curved up, “If I’m touching you, no matter what, what can you do to me? Punish me by making me copy scriptures? Have me grounded? Or silence me?”

Lan WangJi’s eyes were locked on him. Sparks seemed to flash across his gaze. He appeared to be angered.

The face, the expression, the eyes, the situation, and the person. Wei WuXian drew in a breath.

As though having decided to go all out, he shoved his other hand into the water, found a certain part of Lan WangJi’s body, and scooped, “HanGuang-Jun, don’t tell me you don’t like it when I touch you like this?”

Wei WuXian’s daring words and act finally enraged his opponent.

Lan WangJi seemed as if he’d been bitten by a poisonous snake, pulling violently. Wei WuXian felt a terrifying force sweep over. He couldn’t help from being pulled in.

Water splashed everywhere. Things had gotten out of hand. It was all the same, no matter who started it first. When Wei WuXian felt a bit more clear-headed, he was already sitting on Lan WangJi’s legs.

The two embraced and kissed each other in such a position for quite a long while. Wei WuXian’s arms were wrapped around Lan WangJi’s neck as they kissed wildly and inseparably. Suddenly, he exclaimed with an ‘ah.’

Opening his eyes, he wiped a tinge of blood from his lips as he scolded, “Lan Zhan! Why are you biting like a dog again?!”

His lips were kissed red in the first place. Stained with blood, they looked even more vivid. To his ill-timed dissatisfaction, Lan WangJi responded with another bite. Sore from all the biting and sucking, Wei WuXian frowned. He reached down again in vengeance and rubbed him hard again.

In all likelihood, nobody had ever done such a shamelessly brave act to Lan WangJi before. Once wasn’t even enough—Wei WuXian had to do it twice. His face changed immediately. The arm he embraced Wei WuXian with tightened, fingers leaving behind clear marks. 

Wei WuXian grinned as he caught his breath, “How’s that? You angry yet? You don’t know this, Lan Zhan, but I love it when you’re angry…”

His tone was full of a fearless excitement. After he spoke, he pecked the corner of Lan WangJi’s lips and removed his drenched top.

Lan WangJi’s skin was so hot that he seemed like he’d burst into flames. One hand locked around WeiWuxian’s waist, he slammed the edge of the wooden tub with his other hand. It split into pieces at once. The room immediately turned into a mess, the sight unbearable to the eye.

The two couldn’t be less concerned with these unimportant things. Lan WangJi almost picked Wei WuXian up and threw him onto the bed. Just as Wei WuXian propped himself up a bit, he was immediately pressed down again. Lan WangJi’s gestures were more than fierce. He was nothing like the normal HanGuang-Jun, who was all righteous and sensible. 

Wei WuXian’s back hurt from the collision. He yelped a few times, and Lan WangJi paused shortly. Wei WuXian immediately flipped around and pushed him onto the bed, holding him down as hard as he could. He said beside his ear, “I couldn’t tell you’d be so fierce in bed…”

The earlobe by his lips was white as jade. Wei WuXian couldn’t help himself from taking a soft bite. It was soft and cold. After he bit it, he took it into his mouth and sucked on it lightly. Lan WangJi’s fingers tightened around Wei WuXian shoulders.

The strength in his hands was abnormally strong. Wei WuXian immediately gasped from the squeeze. He turned to look at his shoulder, which was already lined with five scarlet marks. Seeing this, Wei WuXian shoved his thigh between Lan WangJi’s legs and pressed, pretending to threaten him, “What are you being so mean for? Careful, I…”

Right away, Lan WangJi reached towards Wei WuXian’s waist to untie his sash belt. Wei WuXian purposely wanted to tease him as he slapped his hand away and smirked, “HanGuang-Jun, so impatient?”

He didn’t know if it was a hallucination or not, but Lan WangJi’s eyes seemed to be bloodshot, almost glowing red. When he reached out again, Wei WuXian swiftly dodged to the side, “It’s not like I won’t take it off. I’ll do it myself.”

After he said it, he indeed untied his sash belt and took off his lower garments. Stark naked, he lowered himself on Lan WangJi again.

Both of the two were bare. Skin brushed against skin. With intimacy, they kissed, turning their heads. Wei WuXian pressed the back of Lan WangJi’s neck with his left hand, not letting him open up a single sliver of space between the two, biting and rubbing his lips. With his right hand, he chased down the graceful yet powerful lines of Lan WangJi’s back. When he felt the somewhat uneven scars, he stroked them tenderly with the tips of his fingers. 

There was no less action on Lan WangJi’s part. Those fair, slender hands swam around Wei WuXian’s body with his distinct knuckles before lingering at his waist and his hips, forcefully rubbing the delicate skin at the end of Wei WuXian’s thighs. It was as though Wei WuXian had turned into a zither, plucked and strummed under the pair of hands. But the person who played him had not a single trace of the coldness and elegance of playing the seven-stringed zither. What Wei WuXian let out weren’t graceful zither notes either, but rather unbridled moans of pleasure.

However, Lan WangJi’s hands were just too strong, and he liked to pinch the sensitive regions as well. At first, Wei WuXian was able to enjoy it, but it soon became an unbearable throbbing. He gasped, moving his stinging, swollen lips away. His chest heaved up and down, “HanGuang-Jun, w-why are you like this after you take off your clothes? Where are you pinching? You really don’t deserve to be called a gentleman.”

Feigning disappointment, he removed the completely ungentlemanly hand of Lan WangJi’s. Lan WangJi let out a low growl, sounding quite dangerous. Wei WuXian, “Don’t be like this. Come on, I’ll let you pinch me. Pinch here.” As he spoke, he led Lan WangJi’s hand towards his lower region, laughing quietly as he mumbled, “Pinch however you want to. Use your muscles.”

Amidst the buzz, Wei WuXian felt he really had a self-taught obscenity when doing these things. But imagination was one thing, and action was another. He’d lived for two lives, and nobody had ever touched such a private part of his body aside from himself. When Lan WangJi’s burning palm really enveloped him, Wei WuXian couldn’t help but tremble, curling himself up slightly.

Yet, it felt too good being held within Lan WangJi’s fingers and caressed at such a rhythm. Soon, Wei WuXian unconsciously stretched his body, his arms climbing around Lan WangJi’s back and shoulders to offer his member to those hands. Lan WangJi’s movements quickened. Wei WuXian breathed shallowly, closing his eyes in pleasure. His fingers wanted to cling onto something but could only stroke Lan WangJi’s firm, bare back in vain. All of a sudden, he realized that he shouldn’t be the only one who was feeling this good, and so his right hand searched for Lan WangJi’s member as well.

Just as he touched it, Wei WuXian felt the hot, thick object swell a size larger, bouncing into his palm as hard as iron. Even touching it made his cheeks burn. He’d never thought he’d touch this particular region of a man. It was absolutely unimaginable. But whenever he remembered Lan WangJi was the one he was touching, Wei WuXian would become so excited, he almost couldn’t control his hands. He grabbed it, stroking it recklessly as he rubbed it with his slippery legs again and again.

Lan WangJi’s breaths suddenly became heavier, while what was in Wei WuXian’s hand also throbbed, growing even hotter. Beside their ears were each other’s insuppressible pants and Wei WuXian’s moans. 

However long had passed, Wei WuXian felt all of the blood and pleasure in his body flood towards a single place. As his scalp tingled, a whimpering, almost broken voice leaked from his throat, “Lan… Lan Zhan, w-wait, I…” Before he could even finish, the dangerous pleasure exploded through him.

Wei WuXian’s voice froze. A moment of white flashed in his mind. Quite some time later, still dazed, he saw a few light traces on Lan WangJi’s taut abdominal muscles. He finally realized that he’d released already. On the other hand, Lan WangJi released almost the same time he did, sending forth the white fluid between Wei WuXian’s legs. As Wei WuXian moved, no matter how slightly, the embarrassing liquid slowly slid down, dripping onto his sensitive region. It felt extremely obvious. He could tell there was a mess even without looking at it. The viscosity felt a bit uncomfortable down his gluteal cleft, but what was more apparent was an incomparable sense of satisfaction. 

Lan WangJi’s head was buried into Wei WuXian’s chest, his warm body atop Wei WuXian. 

Wei WuXian was all out of energy, limp all the way from his head to his fingertips. He felt so relaxed he didn’t even want to move his hand.

Only after a long while did their breathing return to normal.

Even though he was so heavily pressed down, his heart was full of peace and contentment. Wei WuXian pecked at Lan WangJi’s hair. What enveloped the two, apart from the soft sandalwood, was the refreshing scent of soap, after they’d bathed. The sensual aroma was not as evident.

Wei WuXian had buried the things he wanted to ask Lan WangJi inside of him for a long time, too afraid to ask. Only right now, as the two lay side-by-side, did he feel a bit more confident. He lowered his voice, “Lan Zhan… Are you listening?”

A moment later, Lan WangJi replied with a ‘mn’. Wei WuXian, “I have to tell you something.” He breathed lightly before speaking, “Lan Zhan, thank you.”

With thousands of words, there was nowhere to start.

If he didn’t meet Lan WangJi when he came back, Wei WuXian didn’t know what he’d be like right now. In reality, even if he roamed around alone, it wouldn’t necessarily be that bad. But no matter what, he believed that nothing would be better than this.

Unfortunately, he didn’t notice that after Lan WangJi heard this, his body froze slightly.

The surging heat finally began to retreat. Wei WuXian’s head was still dizzy as he rambled on, “In these two lives, you’ve helped me a lot. I know you’re… really nice to me. You’re really great! Apart from thank you, I don’t know what else to say to you… Anyways, towards you, I feel… I feel…”

But this wasn’t the point at all. Wei WuXian had never confessed like this to anyone before. Even someone whose face was as thick as his felt a bit embarrassed. He could only first pick a few random things to say. Just as he was thinking how to explain himself to make it sound sincere and serious when Lan WangJi suddenly pushed him away.

With how sudden it was, Wei WuXian’s back slammed hard against the bed.

He widened his eyes, so surprised that he couldn’t move. On the other hand, Lan WangJi sat upright. His chest heaved. His breathing was a bit rushed.

In silence, the two stared at each other for a long time. The first to move was Lan WangJi.

His face was pale, but his eyes were clear. He first picked up a white piece of clothing from the ground to cover Wei WuXian, and then went to find something for himself.

Wei WuXian was still confused. He almost couldn’t believe what had happened.

The push was as though a dream had turned into a nightmare, as though a bucket of water had poured down his head, as though somebody had just slapped him hard on the face. He finally found the ability to speak again. Voice hoarse, he tried, “Lan Zhan, you’re… awake?”

Lan WangJi had already finished dressing himself. Sitting far on one side, he wiped his forehead with his right hand. He turned around, facing the mess on the ground, with his back towards Wei WuXian. A while later, he finally whispered, “Mn.”

Although Wei WuXian didn’t know when he woke up, now that he was awake, Lan WangJi’s reaction meant that one thing was clear: he didn’t want to continue what they were doing. He didn’t want to listen to Wei WuXian finish what he was saying, either.

Wei WuXian finally realized just how cruel what he did was.

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710 Comments

    1. I’d prefer version without smut 🙂 maybe because i care way too much about them and i am way too invested in this whole story, because its just too complex and well written.. and its weird for me to read this after i laughed, cried and fought alongside them.. its just they are not strangers for me anymore.. i cant explain it properly, my english is terrible.. i loove everything i’m allowed to see – holding hands, passionate kissing, hugging, etc. just when they do this, its too intimate for me to be comfortable.. but i love reading smut.. when i dont know everything about characters and its primary written for smut purposes (porn without plot basically, or just a little plot to get things done xD)

      1. I respect your opinion but as a BL’s fan, I prefer to have the uncensored version.THis novel is one of the best BL I ever read and the smut details needs to be there. They are the heart of the meaning of the novel.

      2. The great thing is that this site isn’t being published for you and no one cares. If you don’t like it, don’t read it. Jeez.

      3. I understand perfectly how you feel! It’s not the first ship/OTP that I have that does this to me. Weirdly, it’s to the ships that I respect more – like those ships that I can actually see get married, have kids, grow old together -, that this happens. It’s not that I’m uncomfortable reading the smut, but I have no desire to. It’s really weird, but it doesn’t mean I ship them anyless. Btw that agressive reply by @Atsuko wasn’t necessary. People can give their opinion if they want to. @Athalien was not trying to diminish anyone who read this and liked it, so you can shove that attitude you know where. You know very well actually since you like BL. If you want to know how people usually POLITELY reply to other people, check @Manon Dutrisac’s comment. Just a tip.

      4. No you’re valid, I know what you mean. It feels almost invasive when you know them so much. I dunno if there are versions ‘without’ smut, but there are versions where it’s very much toned down, nowhere close to this level. 😀

      5. Maybe the censored versions would be more upto your taste like the donghua adaptation or drama adaptation, that definitely would not have smut for sure. But since you are reading a translated version of the original novel, it can’t be helped that the author indeed intended it to be this way since way before you found out about this. Its not an uncommon thing in a romance book, not just BL. Just like Manon said.

        For me, it elevates the story even more and it just had to be a part of it. I’ve seen way explicit fanfictions and original fictions so i stopped being surprised at one point and just take everything as they are without complaint, cause its my choice to read it in the first place and i’ve taken all the stuffs, the baggage and the fun, it brought along, with an open mind. Just because its BL, i don’t understand why there shouldn’t be smut or why ppl are uncomfortable with it (i’m not attacking you here btw, just an observation i got from other explicit chapters and the comments). I’ve never understood this before, since i viewed BL couple just as normal as any other hetero couple (at least the ones with the good storyline and strong relationship and not just the pwp stuffs). Its even more stronger than hetero romance, and i’ve seen and read a number of books with both genre. MDZS / GDC is not just my favourite BL novel, its my favourite romance / action etc. novel in general. I’ve never seen romance like this and not even Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet” could come close to this, imo. I’ve read all the unabridged version of the classice i.e R&J exclusively by the legend himself ofc since as a Literature student and enthusiast, its necessary to crack and analyzed every works of literature (sometimes it can also get boring and hard to understand esp the Elizabethan era writers and the transcendentalist writers, for me at least). Anyway i’m getting carried away. What i meant to say was i’ve never seen anything or be impressed (not since Heathcliff and Cathy maybe, i’m quite picky) by anything quite like this before, like WangXian. And the author executes even the smut part perfectly and not out of place.

        Ofc i respect your opinion, i just don’t understand it. Don’t be offended btw.

      6. I totally agree, this novel has become my favorite of all and and yes I’m picky too. And the smut is so much part of the story, it wouldn’t be complete without it imho, it gives so much insight on who those characters are! And it’s why I can enjoy it so much, coz I can rely, feel like them, nearly like if I’m actually one of them, no matter how similar or different from me they are, but simply coz I’ve come to understand them so I can feel their love or pain or whatever. And that is the sign of a very good writing!

        And at the opposite, I’ve never felt interested in porn specifically for it’s lack of plot and knowledge of the characters! It doesn’t arouse me in the least, I don’t feel concerned, to the point that it’s boring to me, borderline voyeurism. My opinion ofc!

        So ty for sharing, it’s an interesting point of view!

  1. Thank you very much for this uncensored translation. I was not disappointed at all. I will thank you every time you and your team do such a wonderful and amazing job.
    I do not know how to write what I feel after reading this chapter.
    I know that Wei Ying, even if he is shameless, will never do such things if Lan Zhan is sober, fearing that Lan Zhan’s reaction is not what he hopes. So, he does not know how to say what he feels for him. He thinks he lost Lan Zhan’s trust in doing what he did. He feels so guilty and almost cries. He does not want to lose him.
    I can almost feel his pain myself. He is so in love with Lan Zhan. He just starts realizing it.
    Lan Zhan, please do not turn your back to him. Tell him. You know how he is: clumsy, speaking non sense sometime but he has such a good heart full of love for you. He needs you so deeply and doesn’t know how to express that emotion. He has been always alone….
    BTW, I would like to know the story of Lan Zhan too. I’m talking about the first time he saw Wei Ying at the age of 15-16 at Cloud Recesses so far.
    How did he feel when Wei Ying left for Lotus Piers: when did he fall in love with him? Was it at first sight? How did he react at Wei Ying’ death? I know he kept the peony he took from Wei Ying when he kissed him the 1srt time (chap 69). But did he keep the drawing of him done by Wei Ying back at Cloud Recesses?
    Thanks again

    1. Apparently the author said that it was indeed love at 1st sight for LWJ, and honestly I think it makes sense when we read those flashback, even though WWX is so bad at seing it, the subtle reactions are there for us to see. He is highly disturbed by about every single action and comment from WWX, while noone else can enticed him so. Thus, for such strong reaction from him, it’s either hate, like JC keeps saying, or love. But he cares too much for it to be hate! So it’s very nice on reread to notice those hints. With time, we can become as good as LXC to read his emotions if we pay enough attention to those minute details!

  2. I don’t even know where to begin with this chapter….. Yesssssss we finally got some action yasssssss. However the fact that it was somewhat consensual makes me sad. I hope everything works out in the next chapter for my poor WWX. Thank you for translating.

  3. ……….我的天. I don’t know how else to describe my mood for this chapter other than, “wo de tian!”

    You two, please don’t be like me and assume things about each other! Talk!! COMMUNICATE!!!!!
    Lan Wanji, don’t not look at my child! He’s a mess and teases the living daylights out of people, but he’s the same one who, if help is needed, he’ll be there to do what he can. The same person who’s been in love with you for years now.
    Wei Ying, child, I know it’s scary (and embarrassing even,) when you confess, but you need to tell him how you feel. Be honest. Open yourself up for him. It’s hard, it’s scary as hell, but things are going to get bad if you don’t tell him.

  4. He just slammed the edge of the tub and it broke into pieces. Oh hella. This chapter was very spicy and delicious. Thank you for the meal. *cries with happiness*

    Cough. I don’t mind smut at all. But that ending though.. was like a bucket of cold water. ; ; I hope they can come to an understanding

  5. >//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////<

    TTTTTTTTTTT.TTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

    Too moods of blushing and crying at the end but thank you for the chapter^^

  6. “Apart from thank you, I don’t know what else to say to you”

    This is probably what hurt LWJ.
    Drunk or not, he longs for WWX.
    But if it’s like gratitude then he would feel guilty & upset, because he thought WWX did it only out of kindness or sympathy….like how he gave his power for JC…

    1. this is probably what triggered LWJ’s reaction. in a way i have a feeling that LWJ hates whenever WWX thanks him… his love for him is uncoditional, and wwx is a type of person who doesn’t really know what love is, and is being told his whole life that he is burden to others, so having lwj constantly with him is something he doesn’t want to lose, so he feels that he needs to thank him for not leaving him alone. remember: he died alone. he would do anything at this point just not to be left alone.

      1. And Wei WuXian is indeed truly in love with him by this point, he knows it now esp after JC’s accusation but sadly he does not know LWJ’s feelings. But since its his first love, and with a man at that, plus his first confession. He is nervous and really does not know how to start add that to the glitch in his memory. This misunderstanding needs to happen no matter how sad. It will leave an open for him to know Lan Zhan’s true feelings through chapter 99 revelations. WWX needs to know what happened after the bloodbath of Nightless City. He’s not the type to ask LWJ and even if he asks, LWJ may not say, he’s just like that sometimes.

      2. You’re kinda borderline spoiling here… oh well not that many ppl read that far back in the comments I guess…

        As for the subject itself, I think both of them are too new to love to know how to communicate properly. Coz with a little more, it wld’ve been obvious that such passion as we see here cannot be born of casual friendship, or even good one.

  7. On chapters like this I feel like what’s missing is a poll, something like; ‘Who is more thickheaded when it comes to the other’ or something along these lines. Also of course Wei Ying can uncover hidden intensions and plots that nobody else sees half the time BUT when it comes to Lan Zhan it’s a huge ass no. Like, he practically reads him wrong around 70% of the time, what’s up with that?!? Thank god the mastermind seems to be GuangYao, if it was Lan Zhan our protagonist would be absolutely useless in figuring anything out 😂 Ugh rant over, sorry

  8. Awwww! OKAY OKAY OKAY! My eyes is sure wide opened while reading thiss! Thankyou so much for translate this unsencored part , K-san and ExiledRebels teamm!!

    Oh my, I adore those two so much much much!
    And while they’re the one who ‘doing it’
    Why’d my heart beats fast and Im grinning also blushing???

    Ahhh i love this storyyy!!

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