Chapter 19: Wolf Smoke
Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations
Editor: Karai
Being polite and civilized didn’t win over the other party’s goodwill. Instead, after Xu You’s attempt at international communication, the Wang Ran visibly grew angrier. Drooling from its fangs, it hissed and slithered toward them.
“Hey, hey, buddy!” Xu You stepped back. “I am sorry, sorry, stop please!”
Shi Wenze pressed the walkie-talkie button. “Nanyan Night Market Zone 2, a giant boa causing trouble. Send two translators.”
Nearby stall owners, sensing trouble, quickly pedaled away on their tricycles. Barbecue grills and gas canisters clattered as they scattered, leaving behind a chaotic mess. Xu You muttered to Shi Wenze, “Why does this international friend have such a bad temper? Besides ‘sorry,’ what else can I say?”
“I suggest you shut up,” Shi Wenze said. “Wait for the Ministry of Transportation colleagues.”
Just then, patrol cars roared in from the horizon. Leading them was a horned owl named Yue Xiaoyu, a Level 2 Inspector from the Ministry of Transportation. She carried a baton and marched up fiercely. “Who’s causing trouble on my turf?”
“Sis, Inspector Yue, hear me out first,” Xu You hurriedly stopped her and pointed behind to the boa. “I accidentally stepped on this foreign dude’s foot, and he got crazy—cursing and spitting everywhere. I apologized, but he ignored me and just kept saying ‘how are you.’”
“What kind of English is that? Cursing with ‘how are you’?” Yue Xiaoyu brushed past Xu You and confronted the boa. “Sir, please immediately stop this dangerous spitting behavior.”
The boa opened its huge mouth and lunged close to her. Shi Wenze and Xu You both thought the boa wanted to intimidate her. But Yue Xiaoyu didn’t see it that way—she judged it as assaulting an officer and instantly threw a punch. Bang!
Xu You was stunned. “Shi, I’m starting to think Inspector Yue’s law enforcement skills aren’t much better than ours—she’s a top university grad and all.”
Shi Wenze didn’t care. “Whatever. At least I didn’t start the fight.”
The boa spun on the spot, furious. It shook its neck, and its massive tail swept the trash-strewn ground like a giant vacuum cleaner. Xu You was impressed—it was surprisingly effective cleaning.
Yue Xiaoyu transformed back to her original form, spreading wings and hovering midair. The boa didn’t attack again but angrily jabbed its small sharp wings—first at Yue Xiaoyu, then at Xu You and Shi Wenze—pointing out everyone in a full 360-degree roll call.
Xu You didn’t understand. “What’s this guy ranting about?”
While entering passport info, Yue Xiaoyu answered, “He says he wants to file a complaint against the three of us.”
Xu You immediately felt wronged. Seriously, officer? No fight, and we still get complaints? I’ve been so civil this time!
After registering basic info, Yue Xiaoyu asked, “Occupation?”
The boa hissed, “Art collector.”
Yue Xiaoyu typed skillfully into the system: Unemployed.
Shi Wenze had a natural sensitivity to the word “artist.” He sent Lin Su a quick WeChat message asking if he knew the boa’s identity in human society.
Lin Su replied promptly—just two characters: knows.
Shi Wenze waited for more details, but none came. So he called instead.
Lin Su quickly turned off the TV with the remote, lay back on the sofa, and adjusted his voice to a low, hoarse tone, just like he’d just woken up. Lin Lu, carrying a cup of water, stepped out of the kitchen and caught the act. She froze, afraid to move.
Shi Wenze was definitely charmed by that sleepy, hoarse voice at midnight. Feeling both touched and apologetic, he asked, “Did I wake you up?”
“No, not asleep. Still working overtime?”
“Ran into a Wang Ran at the night market claiming to be an art collector,” Shi Wenze glanced over. “It’s got a terrible temper—seems to be provoking us. Xu You ignored it, but Inspector Yue gave it a slap. I think it was kind of happy at that moment. There’s still a guy hiding behind a trash can with a camera—maybe an accomplice.”
Lin Su frowned. “I don’t know this boa, but I do know that the upcoming Jia Yong Auction House charity gala invited a European environmental artist named Boa—he’s skilled at stirring conflict, posing, and spreading fake news. Be careful.”
“Then it’s probably this guy.” Shi Wenze grabbed Xu You’s phone and searched news using the name Lin Su gave. Sure enough, there were plenty of reports. He ran a monster image search for the boa and got many results too.
Lin Su asked, “Want me to call someone at Jia Yong?”
“No need. I’ll handle it.” Shi Wenze smiled. “You get some rest. If you’re free tomorrow night, let’s have dinner? My treat.”
“You should solve that boa problem first. If it really is Boa, watch out for scams.”
“Alright, I’ll get to work.” Shi Wenze laughed. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”
Yue Xiaoyu finished entering the boa’s info, showed her badge number, and indicated everyone could go their separate ways—each to find their own mother, she joked. She’d keep patrolling while the boa could call to complain. Everyone had a bright future ahead.
But Shi Wenze caught her arm. “Inspector Yue, help me translate a couple of sentences.”
Yue Xiaoyu was on high alert. “Translate what? Don’t cause trouble.”
“When have I ever caused trouble on duty? I promise no violations.” Shi Wenze called out to the boa, “Hey, wait, don’t leave yet.”
The boa stopped, eyeing him suspiciously. Shi Wenze pointed at the broom in the corner, then at several large puddles of saliva on the floor. “Please clean this up.”
Xu You didn’t fully understand what Shi Wenze was up to, but their years of tacit understanding made him push the cleaning cart over without a word and set it down in front of the Wang Ran. “Sorry, our cleaners aren’t equipped with antidote gear. You’ll have to clean it yourself.”
The boa looked at the filthy cleaning cart and felt his stomach churn. He refused the request. Shi Wenze didn’t insist. He signaled for Xu You to mop the floor and then instructed, “Find a place and burn it.”
“Ah?”
Yue Xiaoyu didn’t get it either and reminded him, “That’s public sanitation property. You’ll have to pay if you burn it.”
“It’s just a few mops and trash cans. Not worth much,” Shi Wenze said. “Besides, no vendors here anyway. Just burn it on the spot.”
Xu You didn’t fully grasp the situation but felt something was about to go down. He wasn’t about to miss any excitement and eagerly lit the fire. The boa was equally puzzled. “What are you doing?”
Shi Wenze answered cheerfully, “Setting off a smoke signal. We need to report this to headquarters.”
Yue Xiaoyu gritted her teeth. “This is your idea of ‘not causing trouble’?”
The boa’s face lit up in amazement when it heard the translation. It couldn’t believe its luck! After confirming the smoke signal was what it thought it was, it suppressed its excitement and cautiously asked, “Don’t you use phones?”
“Of course,” Shi Wenze said. “But that’s no ceremony. Smoke signals are our traditional way of communication. We’re even applying for it to become a cultural heritage next month and plan to promote it nationwide.”
Yue Xiaoyu thought to herself, Thank goodness I don’t have to translate any more of this.
But the boa was overflowing with emotion! It had come to the monster night market to protest the excessive use of disposable chopsticks but first got stepped on by a guy in a police vest, then slapped by another officer. Instantly, a 3,000-character news article began brainstorming keywords like “environmental protection,” “backwardness,” “physical conflict,” and “barbaric East.”
Who knew there was more excitement to come?
Setting off smoke signals—what could be more perfectly un-environmental? Formal, inefficient, absurd, and polluting! The boa almost wanted to take Shi Wenze’s hand and sing, Thank you for your love!
Xu You, having lit the fire, watched the boa’s retreating back and asked, “What’s making this guy so happy?”
Shi Wenze patted his shoulder. “Lay on the ground.”
“Ah?”
“…”
Five minutes later, an ambulance quietly pulled up at Quèshān Hospital and took Xu You away on a stretcher.
The next morning, Qing Ji’s little monster delivery guy pedaled his tricycle to Kunlun Tower as usual, handing out flashy editions of Chengdu Daily. Everyone knew these freebies rarely got read except for the ads.
At noon, a trending topic appeared on the international monster news site: He’s coming, he’s coming—the environmental group’s moral crusade has arrived!
The headline was explosive, the content sensational, so it quickly climbed to number one. Some sensible monsters questioned the logic of using smoke signals, which seemed absurd and unthinkable for clever modern monsters. But the majority, less rational, argued fiercely: There are photos, so it must be true!
Xu You, still in the hospital, wanted to join the online commotion but thought his backlit photo burning a trash can looked a bit shady. Plus, arguing required translation skills. He was too tired and chose to sleep. When he woke and checked again, the internet’s tone had shifted to a new hot topic—
Shock! A Wang Ran was spotted wandering the night market, secretly filming barbecue stalls and drooling uncontrollably. To protect vendors and customers, patrol officers intervened and urgently handled the situation by burning cleaning supplies on site. Due to inadequate protection, minor poisoning occurred, and the boa is currently hospitalized.
The post included Xu You’s photo: a quiet, helpless chīwěn (a dragon head ornament) lying in a pristine hospital bed, fragile and unable to eat. The post was a carefully crafted collage, high resolution, well-lit, perfectly staged—the moral crusade had gone viral.
The news was clipped from Chengdu Daily, published before the smoke signal incident blew up. Rational readers—whether human, monster, or part-monster—knew who to trust. The trolls backed off, knowing there were plenty of other things to rant about online. Only the boa’s wounded world felt the sting. It brooded in sorrow. It even wanted to call Chengdu’s Monster Management Committee hotline to complain.
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