My Hemophobic Vampire Chapter 7: When Exercising, Beware of Lumbar Sprain

Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: KarateChopMonkey

“This Mr. Vampire who jumps higher, I just want to know now – you clearly told me that you came by car. Do you just plan to take me to your house by jumping like this?” Watching the gracious ground move away from his sight once again, Shang HaoJia finally vaguely realized that it was as if he had been careless for a moment and had inadvertently been tricked into a boat of thieves.

“My friend, it seems that your collection and organization of information is still not perfect. You should remember that during our first meeting, my car was mercilessly destroyed by a Chinese bus.” Wei Long smiled and swept him into his arms again, and suddenly he flung his arm across Shang HaoJia’s back, easily lifting the entire person, and the other hand was stuck precisely in the bend of the legs in a princess carry.

Shang HaoJia was caught off guard and turned upside down in the air, instinctively raised his hand to wrap around the other’s neck and was patted on the back by Wei Long soothingly, “This position is precisely to make it easier for you. Please don’t worry, even if you don’t hold me now, you still don’t have to worry about falling.”

“The only thing I’m worried about now is that my windows seem to be open – although in the current situation, even if a burglar gets in, it will probably only help me scrub the dust.”

Shang HaoJia forced his attention away from the meaningless things like ‘he was actually held like a princess’ and ‘he was actually caught in someone’s arms so easily,’ and couldn’t help but sigh gloomily while shaking his head sadly, “I originally thought that vampires would be a very honest race due to the widespread existence of contract spirit in the Middle Ages…”

“Although it is true that vampires are not much of an honest race, it is also true that I am not deceiving you, my dear friend.” Wei Long laughed lightly and suddenly swept him up and landed on the ground. Helping Shang HaoJia stand firm before holding his left shoulder with one hand, he gave an elegant bow, “I am willing to act as your seat at any time on the road you and I travel.”

“Hiss—” The previous hug wasn’t bad, but once he was on the ground, the soreness in his waist made Shang HaoJia suck in a cold breath, “Then – Mr. Seat, can I ask, from here to your home, about how much more time will I need to be like that?”

“What’s wrong, is it hurting your back?”

Noticing the difference in his expression, Wei Long hurriedly withdrew his pompous stance. And with concern, stepped forward. In his eyes was some real chagrin, “My bad, I forgot that the human body is much more fragile… to make sure, do you need to go to see a doctor?” 

“What doctor? It’s not easy for me to get a break and you are planning to send me back to work again?” Shang HaoJia pressed on the vague pain in the back of the waist, his heart fluttered as he shook his head, “It doesn’t matter. It’s a simple strain, something like a simple Salonpas patch would fix it – but you better give me a full psychological preparation, tell me how far away we are from your home. I also need to stretch my back muscles…”

“Please allow me to offer my heartfelt apologies. In fact, I did drive over, just parked really far away, and wanted to add some harmless little fun, so I took the liberty of making the previous reckless move. I apologize for any harm I may have caused to you.” Wei Long apologetically bowed deeply towards him and extended his hand with concern, “My friend, please forgive me for not knowing how to express my guilt – the car is just down the road. Do you want me to help you walk there?”

“It’s not that bad, it’s just a strain. I can’t feel anything now.” Shang HaoJia waved his hand and jumped twice in place. The familiar soreness immediately spread unrelentingly, and he couldn’t help but suck in a cold breath.

Doctor Shang gritted his teeth tenaciously, coughed a few times to cover it up, and looked up frankly, “Look, it doesn’t matter.”

“Very convincing – but to give me a chance to make amends, let me help you walk to the car, okay?” Wei Long nodded quite convincingly, but still raised his hand to hold Shang HaoJia’s arm, and put his other hand on his shoulder.

Shang HaoJia wanted to refuse, but the soreness at his waist had not yet dissipated, so he let Wei Long help him all the way to the car, and thoughtfully opened the car door for himself.

“I heard that the last car destroyed was a Rolls Royce – are all you vampires this rich?”

He looked at the eye-catching trident logo on the front of the car, and Shang HaoJia sat down in the back row with his back straight, and finally couldn’t help but question the old capitalist forces of all evil.

“To tell you the truth, in fact, these cars are all ones Jia Lun went to buy. I usually prefer the jumping approach – after all, driving is not difficult for me to master, but once I encounter a situation similar to the last one, it is easy to cause some unnecessary trouble.”

Wei Long closed the car door for him and got into the driver’s seat himself, buckling the seat belt in a regular manner, “As for whether vampires are all very rich – this matter is actually not very clear to me… My wealth is derived from the treasures left behind on the European continent back then, but listening to the companions over here, their treasures were turned over to the state.”

“We do seem to have this tradition…” The cool air in the car quickly dispersed the stifling heat of the summer night; as Shang HaoJia relaxed against the back seat, tiredness came unknowingly.

“It’s funny. When I first visited this country, I had some jokes because I wasn’t familiar with it.”

The car started to glide smoothly, and over the roar of the engine came the soft laughter of the vampire who once again regained his elegance, “At that time, although I had recovered my pre-petrified memory and remembered the location of the treasure, I suffered from the lack of a way to go forward to find it. Vampires can’t touch the daylight and are not able to leave images on the camera, so I couldn’t find a suitable job, and even nearly was thrown out to the street.”

The temperature inside the car was just right, and the vampire’s gentle and elegant accent seemed to have a strange rhythm, making Shang HaoJia so sleepy that he could hardly open his eyes. He vaguely answered, then couldn’t stop yawning, “So it sounds like you vampires have a strange definition of ‘interesting’.”

“No, no… I just haven’t gotten to the fun part yet.”

Wei Long laughed softly, answered unhurriedly, and steadily drove the car onto the outer ring road to the suburbs, “In desperation, I stopped a relatively decent-looking passerby and asked him for help – I told him that I was a pure-blood vampire from medieval Europe with a sizeable treasure. As long as he could help me return to the European continent, after obtaining those treasures, I would certainly pay him a generous reward.”

“This kind of fraudulent means is already twenty years out of date. If anyone believed it, that person could really be not considered smart…” When he thought of those who once claimed to be the ‘President of France in distress’ or the ‘tenth generation of Qianlong’ and other popular scams around the world, Shang HaoJia couldn’t help but interrupt him in a low voice, and then thought a little, “I’m curious, you should be able to prove your identity, so what is the outcome of the story?”

“The result is that he said to me – if you are a vampire, then try to bite me.” Wei Long laughed helplessly, shook his head as he gave a serious light sigh, “So I honestly informed him that I carry the defect of hemophobia – and then I was treated like I had some kind of mental illness and was sent all the way to the Public Security Bureau…”