Translated by Rook of Exiled Rebels Scanlations
Feisha dug out a key from the depths of his pants pocket, taking his own sweet time when opening the door. Something that he used to be able to do with his eyes closed was now exceptionally foreign. But Layton was very curious about his house, rushing to enter the room before him.
A very normal room and living room. It was even an old-fashioned room with a small living room and a large bedroom.
Layton clicked his tongue and turned in a circle and then returned to Feisha, who was closing the door, “So you’re actually a peasant.”
Feisha very pleasantly said, “Do you mean ‘peasant’ or ‘ordinary person’?” (1)
Layton said again with very articulate pronunciation, “Unexpectedly living in such a place.”
Feisha didn’t even bat an eyelid and said self-disparagingly, “Even this kind of place doesn’t belong to me. It’s rented.”
Layton was stunned. The old him had never concerned himself with what kind of status the humans of Noah’s Ark had in the human world. This was the first time he was thinking about this and the results were actually so… distressing.
Feisha took off his shoes, placed them in the shoe rack, smiled then said, “Very unfortunately, for the next seven days, you’ll only be able to depend on a peasant for living.”
Layton crossed his arms over his chest, thinking deeply and said, “I’ve thought about this. To be able to come to the human world is a kind of fate. So I think I’ll take on this challenge and help the human world.”
Feisha blinked, “How will you help?”
Layton lifted his head as though making a monumental decision, “I’ll join your research labs.”
“You know of research labs?”
Layton sneered and said, “Among the dwarves, I’m a genius scientist, okay.”
Feisha made an ‘oh’ noise and said, “So you decided to lower your imperial self and secretly use a little of your genius talents and skills in the human realm?”
“Then what kind of professor are you? What kind of famous thesis have you published? What kind of awards have you gotten?”
“…How can I have these human achievements, but,” Layton picked up the domino receiver he had taken from Feisha when he was opening the door, “My invention.”
Feisha’s face could no remain expressionless. “Can you mass produce this?”
“Does the human world have the Aridaku Absorber?” (2)
“…..” The joy in Feisha’s eyes subsided, “Although I don’t know what the Aridaku Absorber is, but, I feel that the name Aridaku will never appear in the human world.”
Layton replied, “Then what about Rikidah Shaw’s Gear Column?”
“Ridley Scott’s Gear Column?” Calm had returned to Feisha’s eyes, “Is there something that doesn’t need Ridley Scott?” (3)
Layton and Feisha looked at each other in dismay.
Layton changed tack and said, “We had better think about this, just now what were you talking about, what professor… what essay?”
Feisha dispatched him with a single sentence, “Have you been to kindergarten?”
Layton was like that Gear Column, nodding in fits and starts.
Feisha nodded in understanding, “I think research labs won’t be like a nursery.” As he finished speaking, he simply went past Layton, preparing to look for a broom and a dustpan to start cleaning the house that hadn’t been cleaned in a week.
Layton blankly stood where he was, turning to say, “I feel that what you said just now wasn’t meant to insult research labs, but me.”
Feisha was sweeping happily, only rolling his eyes when he heard Layton’s words.
Layton suddenly dug around in his pocket for quite a while and brought out a gold coin and said, “Then can this be used in the human world?” As a member of the dwarf clan who had a particular love for gold coins, he really never went anywhere without a few.
Feisha threw the broom away, leaped forward and hugged him, flattering him, “Layton, you’re really handsome in your youth! You’re the most most useful person I’ve ever seen!”
Emerging from the pawn shop, Feisha’s bag was filled with several thousands. His heart felt very warm. For fear of eyes that were watching, he didn’t dare to sell too much. He first cautiously deposited the bigger sums into the bank, leaving a few thousand on hand.
Layton leisurely followed him. To him, a few gold coins was really pocket change. Feisha saw the curious gazes turn his way, abruptly turned around and pulled Layton into his arms.
“What are you doing?” Layton’s ears were red, uneasily struggling carefully.
“I’m bringing you to buy clothes.” As Feisha spoke, he didn’t say anything more and stepped into a taxi headed to the biggest business district.
The taxi driver started the car but his gaze kept sweeping to the seats behind him.
Feisha was seriously irritated from his staring and could no longer hold back. He asked, “Brother, just what on earth are you looking at?”
That driver finally had someone to talk to and said very enthusiastically, “Just how are the two of you related?”
Right now, Feisha had the most headache over relationships, thus, he unthinkingly kicked the ball back into his court, “What do you think?”
The driver struggled with this for a moment: “My first impression of your physiques tells me you’re father and son.” Feisha’s eyelids twitched. “But after looking closer, you don’t look like a father and a son, like I’d thought. You actually look like another type of father and son.” Layton’s eyelids twitched. The driver paused and then glanced again at the rear view mirror and said, “Just what kind of relationship do you have?”
Feisha smiled, “You’ve guessed correctly.”
“Huh?” Guessed everything correctly? How could that be?
What he meant was, on first glance, the tall one looked like the father, the short one looked like the son. But after closer scrutiny of the two’s faces, he felt that the young and handsome one was the son, the slightly older one was the father… how could both these relationships be possible?
Unless they were both each other’s son and father?
Whether it’s from biology, ethics, advanced chemistry, logic, mathematics, or chemistry, it was still impossible, right? All the way till the destination, even after Feisha and Layton had alighted, the driver was still mired in countless theories that he couldn’t extricate himself from.
Although Feisha rarely came to the business district, he wasn’t a stranger to anything here. Because before, when he was the manager of the hotel, many guests would ask about the business district. So he brought Layton to a shop selling children’s clothes as though he was very familiar with this street.
When Layton saw the words “Children’s Clothing”, he refused to go in on pain of death.
“What on earth are you doing?” Faced with the many curious gazes coming from all directions, Feisha covered his face and spoke lowly.
The corners of Layton’s mouth rose up very high. “You still remember where the money in your pocket came from, right?”
Feisha’s posture became less hard, “Mm.”
“I gave you your gold coin, you actually dare to use it to buy me children’s clothes?” Layton glared savagely at him.
Feisha blinked a couple of times, “Uh-huh, you decide which of these three stores here you want to go into.”
Layton coldly sneered, stepped back slowly and finally saw clearly the three signboards of the three stores —
Angel Children’s Clothes.
Angel Maternity Clothes.
Angel Bridal Clothes.
After several minutes of hesitation, Layton silently walked into the store with children’s clothes. Feisha personally picked a few cute jeans overalls, paired with a pink shirt and a beige beret. Throughout it all, Layton used silence to protest.
Walking out of the children’s clothes store, Feisha also turned into a spectacle shop and bought a pair of Harry Potter-esque spectacles with huge black frames for Layton.
“I’m not short-sighted.”
“I know, this is used to cover up ugliness.”
“…How am I ugly?” Layton very indignantly wanted to claw the glasses down. Among the dwarves, he was considered a very handsome man!
Feisha gave the money while making a sign for him to stop and consoled, “This is an aesthetic difference between cultures.”
Layton didn’t make a sound. Feisha led him forward a few steps but saw that he was dejected and couldn’t help but ask, “What’s wrong?”
Layton slowly lifted his head, looked at him, sighed again, and lowered his head.
“Tell me what’s wrong and I’ll bring you to eat something good.” Feisha enticed him with food.
After struggling for so long, Layton was indeed hungry, so he quietly opened his mouth, “It’s actually not an aesthetic difference between cultures.”
“…..” Feisha was astonished. A casual word he’d said had caused him to be in a tangle for so long?
Layton said, “Isefel, Auermele, they’re all very handsome. We think so too.”
Feisha had worked hard to get along with Layton; worked hard to not think about that; worked hard to treat him like an old friend only; worked hard to forget that period; but every time he thought he succeeded, a voice would jump out and shout: you’re wrong.
“But it can’t be helped, we dwarves have always looked like this.” Layton tugged at his sleeves.
Feisha sighed and squatted down, slowly bringing him into his arms, “I think a Layton like this is very good, very cute.”
If they were on Noah’s Ark, he would never act like that towards Layton, Layton would also never say these things to him. But this was the human world. To Layton, this was the most foreign world in all the nine realms, and the world that was the most different. The fear that arose so suddenly was expressed in dismay. And Feisha wanted to play the role of the host well, to show the best side of the human world.
“Um, do you still want to eat?” Feisha patted his back and said in a quiet voice.
Layton replied, “Of course.”
Feisha let go of him, stood up and held his hand and said, “Then what are we waiting for?”
The tall and short guys happily headed to the food paradise. Although Feisha’s purpose in dressing Layton in children’s clothes was so that they fit the father-son image, he really had enough of the myriad of wild speculations, but he never would have thought he would appear like this before Qian LuYou.
Especially because a handsome and tall businessman stood by her side.
“Hi.” She greeted him in a natural and unrestrained way.
After living so long at Noah’s Ark, Feisha’s skill at staying unperturbed was nothing to be laughed at. Even though in his heart he was overwhelmed, he still managed to get out a casual and lighthearted, “Long time no see.”
Qian Luyou said, “Here for dinner?”
Qian Luyou said neither hurriedly nor slowly, “I heard you quit your job?”
Feisha nodded again.
The businessman by Qian Luyou’s side was becoming impatient and said, “I’ll get the car.”
“Oh, I forgot to introduce you.” She smiled and said, “My boyfriend, You PengNan, CEO of MCG. You’ve heard of MCG, right?”
Monosodium glutamate? (4) Feisha forcefully held back his laugh and nodded.
Since Qian Luyou had already introduced them, You PengNan could no longer ignore him. He elegantly and gracefully held out a hand, saying, “Nice to meet you. Your name is…”
You Pengnan obviously knew who Feisha was and he immediately followed up with, “Where do you work?”
Layton, standing beside him, replied, “Noah’s Ark CEO and front desk manager.”
(1) This is actually a pun. Layton calls Feisha a 贫民 pínmín, which means a ‘poor person’. Feisha asks if Layton meant 贫民 pínmín or 平民 Píngmín. As you can see from the hanyu pinyin, the two sound very similar
(2) The Chinese name is 阿里大哭吸收器
(3) This is a pun. Layton said: 里基达萧齿轮柱呢 Lǐ jī dá xiāo chǐlún zhù ne, which I translated as Rikidah Shaw’s Gear Column. Feisha thought: 立即大笑齿轮柱？Lìjí dà xiào chǐlún zhù? which means something like ‘immediately laughing loudly at the gear column?’ From the pinyin, the two phrases are very similar even though the meaning is totally different. He then continues the pun and asks: 有不需要大哭大笑的东西吗, which means ‘is there something that doesn’t need crying and laughing?’
(4) This is another pun — 梅菜干 Méi cài gān. The initials are MCG but it’s actually dried pickled vegetables. I opted with MSG/monosodium glutamate coz it was the first similar word that came to my mind, lol