UCPA Chapter 4: The Lure of Legal Status

Chapter 4: The Lure of Legal Status

Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: PlumSauce

 

After that day, John went back to his small rented basement room and spent his days staring at his computer. He couldn’t write the article. He couldn’t make up a single word about the “contemporary Bluebeard” part. Of course, he could write the truth; but even if he did, it would not be exciting at all, like a third-rate ghost story, and no one would believe it.

Everything that happened that day was so fake, not a bit like real life. John remembered that his own identity was not like real life either, but he had been too busy working to realize it. John was interested in the Unthreatening Creature Protection Association, especially in legal identity and the Association itself. Deville Coraci’s business card had ‘Mediator,’ a rather strange title. John thought that only hunters and exorcists were involved in such organizations.

There was a website on the business card, the official website of the Association, and John decided to check it out to see what was there.

The style of the website was like a normal business website–it seriously claimed to provide protection, education, job training, immigration, etc. for all kinds of dark creatures and monsters, and even had cooperation notices, community forums and messaging and consultation functions, and also published a quick helpline number. John also found different divisions of labor within the Association. As Coraci said, some departments were similar to social workers, dealing with a bunch of miscellaneous matters, while others were violent types, specializing in the capture and even execution of targets causing harm.

There were also links to some churches and specialized exorcist associations on the website, which made John curious and scared. He found it unbelievable that such an absurd website would not be surrounded by people making fun of it. He later found out that although the site did not deliberately avoid search, it lacked entertainment features and did not have any novelty pictures or detailed descriptions, so even if the average person clicked in by mistake, they would forget about it after laughing.

The site hoped that those who really needed it would find it, so it didn’t want to hide itself at all.

About a week later, John received a numberless message on his cell phone informing him that the supplemental form had been sent and telling him to fill it out within a week and to reply directly to the email. When he got home, John actually found the supplemental filing form, which was indeed very long and covered a wide range of items.

John filled it out and sent it back immediately, after which he received both a new email and a text message telling him that the file was under review and that he would be interviewed by a staff member within a month.

Now John was a little worried that a hunter would kick down his door in the middle of the day and tie him up for questioning. So he put Deville Coraci’s business card in his wallet and decided to use it to show he was harmless if he were in a pinch. After all, Coraci was a member of the Association.

Three days later, he received a phone call from Coraci himself.

John had filled out the “Please describe the last time you used your special ability and the incident” section of the form and wrote about fighting with the demon, so the Association’s investigators asked Coraci to contact him directly.

“You know, they’re very interested in you,” Coraci said on the phone, “and they’ve expedited the review process for you, and they want you to submit an internship application.”

“What kind of internship?” John asked.

“The Association hopes that you get a job with them,” Coraci said, “They think you have a simple background and a sense of justice. We’re always in need of new people. By the way, you can check out the ‘How to Join Us’ section on the website. There’s a link about pay and benefits.”

John happened to be on the computer, clicked on the link that Coraci described, and read each section one by one–he was really moved.

If he joined the Association, he would not only have a stable income, but he and his family would also get legal human status. The Association would take care of his and his family’s medical care, and there would be holidays and incentives based on the length of service.

Now, John did not regret interviewing the horror writer at all.

“If I apply for a job, what can I do?” John asked.

“It depends on what you want to do after the initial training,” Coraci said. “You have to intern for a while before you can be considered a full member in the future. Basic training is short, about a month or so, but the internship is long.” Coraci paused to think for a moment, then continued, “Mr. Lockland, I’m going to take the liberty of asking–are you indeed interested? If you truly want to join… Would you be willing to be my partner?”

John’s heart was beating a little too fast when he heard that, but of course it was just an illusion. He didn’t have a heartbeat at all. Coraci had spoken in a careful tone, as if it was something difficult to say.

John suddenly thought of those dead spouses, and the question instantly felt grim. “Mr. Coraci, does it mean that… Could it be that all your deceased lovers were actually your partners?”

“Of course not!” Coraci cried. “My god, Mr. Lockland, what makes you think that? Why would I want to marry my partner? It doesn’t have to be that way. Those were people I used to like a lot.”

John realized with embarrassment that he had been too reckless. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… I’m really sorry.”

“It’s nothing, don’t take it personally. By the way, I might as well tell you–actually, they’re not dead. Please don’t take it too much to heart.”

“Not dead?” John was even more surprised.

Coraci had been repeatedly investigated by the police. Even if he had been cleared of suspicion and the incident was confirmed as an accident, there were still rumors about the “contemporary Bluebeard.” Recently, some people have started to take an interest and chase after Coraci again because of this strangeness surrounding him, despite his poor reputation in the past.

If those people didn’t die, where did they go? And why did Coraci have to suffer for them?

Coraci listened to John’s long silence, knowing that he must be full of questions.

“It’s a long story,” Coraci said with a smile. “If you’re not too bored, I’ll tell you in the future. There’s nothing worth hiding… I’m not worried about you writing the truth and selling it to the press because no publication would think it was true. Mr. Lockland, I do need a partner, and my last partner was a woman who resigned after she got married and became pregnant. I hope you’ll consider coming to me if you plan to submit an application.”

In fact, John was almost ready to agree. Although he knew his intentions were somewhat impure… Half of it was for the good benefits, and the other half was curiosity about Coraci as a person.

Shortly after this phone call, the “face-to-face” interviewers from the Association arrived–a man and a woman in suits. John pressed himself against the wall and invited them in while smiling stiffly.

“Do you usually disguise yourselves as police officers or detectives?” John asked.

“Neither. We pretend to be insurance salesmen.” The interviewer patted the hem of his suit.

“Mr. John Lockland, please don’t be so nervous,” the female interviewer said. “The interview is mandatory. You’ve already submitted your internship application, so why are you so afraid of us?”

“Sorry, childhood fears.” John continued smiling stiffly. “You two remind me of a lot of very scary movies and TV episodes when you showed up, so I’m a little…”

“Does bloodkin get scared of ghosts and ghouls in horror movies too?” the other interviewer asked. He was checking John’s place with a Y-shaped iron bar similar to a divining rod, probably to check if he was hiding any illegal items.

John replied in a small voice,”I’m not afraid of ghosts–I’m afraid of exorcists.” The interviewer put on latex gloves as he spoke, just like a doctor would. John saw the gloved man approaching and asked nervously, “What are you doing?”

“Please sit down and don’t be nervous. This is an oral as well as ear, nose and throat examination.”

Many people John knew while working were afraid of dentists. He had never been to a dentist and didn’t know what it was like. Today, he finally understood.

 

Shortly after the interview, John was notified to begin his training.

He followed the address to an office building which was just like the location of any large company. The agency in this office building was just one branch of the Association, which had offices all over the world. He thought the office would be a huge underground base where you would need to take an elevator down a dozen floors or something… but it surprisingly was not. The office of this Association’s branch was located on the twenty-ninth floor of the building.

“Why the twenty-ninth floor?” John asked the girl at the front desk as he checked in. He guessed there might be something to it.

“Because it’s a cheap floor,” the girl replied.

John took the access card and other forms from her while looking at her with a complicated expression.

The Association’s office area was completely enclosed with one-way glass and additional UV-blocking film, which was really very thoughtful. During the training period, trainees can choose to either live on-site or commute to the office. The Association provided temporary dormitories for creatures with no fixed place to live.

John decided to commute home every day. In any case, the classes were held from 6:30 p.m. to 11:00 p.m., avoiding the time when the sun was at its most intense.

 

From The Unthreatening Creature Protection Association’s Guide to Unscientific Monsters:

Vampires (Bloodkin):

Teeth, Eyes, and Other Physical Traits

Experienced vampires skilled in magic can enthrall their victims while feeding, causing them to forget their encounter afterward. Most ordinary vampires cannot do this.

They can make victims dizzy or lose the ability to resist, clouding their minds — handy for feeding — but they cannot erase the memory. (When the victims regain consciousness, they wake up confused, especially now that these vampires use syringes…) Memory erasure is an advanced skill–like how most people can write normally, but only a few can write in seal script. 

Normally, their eyes look human. Only extreme frenzy turns their eyes red. Their teeth are, of course, retractable.

Vampires can drink liquids but cannot absorb them. They can “eat” solids, but swallowing is almost impossible; even if forced down, the food just piles up in their stomachs.

They are capable of sexual sensation but cannot reproduce; nothing exits their bodies.

Their body temperature is roughly the same as a normal human’s — slightly cooler, but not truly “ice cold.”

 

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