I Don’t Have Pheromones, You Smelled Wrong

 by Road Warrior

Chinese Information: 我没信息素，你闻错了 by 路侠

Year: 2022

Genre: BL, omegaverse, dragons, non-humans, hybrids, half-humans, interstellar, mecha, children, m-preg, mermaids, apocalypse, zombies, ML falls in love first, 

Novel Status in Country of Origin: 190 Chapters

Translator: Addis

Editor: Karai

~~~~Brought to you by ExR~~~~

 

SUMMARY:

In Stardate 3275, Imperial Marshal Heinrich Chu returned to the long-lost home planet of humanity, causing an all-interstellar sensation as the Empire unleashed the wide popularity of Earth.

As a researcher of ancient Earth cultures, Lin Xu’s salt fish life at the museum was forced to end. He gets upset when he sees the cold face of Heinrich Chu, the main culprit in the promotional image – he traveled from the post-apocalyptic world to the interstellar era and wanted to retire in peace, not to work from morning till night. So, when the Lord Marshal asked whether the evil dragon of ancient Earth and the captive princess had offspring, and what happened to the offspring.

Lin Xu replied, “This is only a legend, the real situation is that there was a hybrid offspring of a donkey and a horse on ancient Earth, named a mule, and due to the reproductive isolation of the parents, this hybrid offspring was not able to reproduce.”

Heinrich Chu’s always cold and arrogant expression showed a crack. It was well known that the Marshal was a human-dragon hybrid alpha, the light of the Empire and the savior of humanity, but underneath the heavy honors, people still felt sorry for him. — Because, Heinrich Chu could neither smell omega pheromones nor feel draconic estrus phase hormones, and still had no mate.

Lin Xu’s insinuating example was rubbing salt into his wound.

*

Later, Lin Xu looked at the round, slippery eggs cradled by his own mermaid’s tail in the nest and never doubted the human biological science theory so much.

Lin Xu asked the man lying next to him, “When we first met, why did you ask for the story of the evil dragon and the princess?”

The Marshal circled his lover and the eggs with his tail, rubbed the tip of his tail against Lin Xu’s waist and replied, “Because, you smelled so sweet, and for the first time I… wanted to mark and make eggs with someone.”

Lin Xu, “…Don’t be perverted.”

He was tempted to remind him that he was a purebred, single-sex, pheromone free ancient Earth human.

… What the fuck do you smell?

*

He came from death and blood, he didn’t need redemption, but indulged in gentle appeasement.

The gong Marshal is a human-dragon hybrid with a cold exterior and a gentle interior.

 

 

Chapter 1: Heinrich Chu returned to his home planet.

Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: Karai

 

“Marshal Chu’s Abyss Fleet has returned to its home planet.”

Lin Xu was sitting at the restoration table piecing together fragments of paper when the intern and his companion talked about the most recent news of the Imperial people.

The cold white light coming from the bottom of the restoration table gave his face a little more calm as he mumbled something under his breath while he carefully plucked the pieces with tweezers, eyes downcast.

The great Marshal Heinrich Chu and his Abyss Fleet seemed to him like a passing breeze, present but no more important than the remnants of the ancient human paper texts before him.

It was 6:30 p.m., and the Ancient Earth Natural Science Museum’s exhibit area was closed, with a few staff members left in the artifact management area to take care of the last of the work. The interns had finished their tasks for the day, and a few heads were clustered together, flipping through the news and discussing something feverishly.

Lin Xu was used to it, and as long as they didn’t bother him, he didn’t scold the lively birdies for their twittering.

But today, the curly-haired intern named Ryan boldly ran over and asked, “Professor Lin, what kind of ancient Earth relics do you think Marshal Chu will bring back?”

Lin Xu’s movements paused, silent, and just when Ryan thought he wouldn’t answer, he suddenly spoke, “The Abyss Fleet only reached Jupiter, the ones that landed on the moon were unmanned probes, they didn’t rashly land on Earth, they couldn’t bring back anything but coordinates and monitoring data.”

It was the year 3275 of the ephemeris, and according to the Marion Imperial historical records, three thousand years ago, ancient Earth’s humans depleted the planet’s resources and embarked on a long interstellar journey before finally finding an inhabitable Earth-like planet after nearly ten generations of solitary voyages. In the process, however, mankind lost forever their home planet’s coordinates.

During the long journey, due to various reasons, human genes mutated, creating a gender distinction other than male and female called ABO, and in the later territorial expansion, countless extraterrestrials were encountered. With the struggle and sacrifice of hundreds of millions of human beings, the Marion Empire finally came to dominate the Einstein Galaxy and human society entered a relatively peaceful and prosperous stage.

The concepts of “relative” and “extraterrestrials” meant that the war could not really end, and that between the stars and the shellfire, there needed to be an Imperial sword that was the sharpest, hardest, and always invincible. –Heinrich Chu.

The emperor himself gave the name “Victoria” to his flagship, which was a mythical Victorian Woman of ancient Earth.

As long as Heinrich remained, Victoria would be his most loyal companion.

Three months ago, the Abyss Fleet set out in pursuit of rebels, making many leaps along the way. After the rebels had run out of energy and were ambushed, Marshal Chu looked out the window at a giant gaseous planet and suddenly said, “The stars have eyes of their own.”

He was a hardened warrior, not a romantic poet, and the words were not a heartfelt confession to the universe. The planet was Jupiter, and Marshal Chu recognized the eye of Jupiter, made up of furious storm holes.

The next large number of probes sent back confirmed his idea that this was the solar system and that the lost home of mankind was within sight. Humans all over the Empire went crazy, so much so that other extraterrestrials who had dealings with humans looked at them with the eyes of a fool during these three months.

Wasn’t it just a single planet? What’s the point of getting so excited?

The humans then shook them by the shoulders and yelled: What do you mean just a planet? This is the Mother Planet! The mother planet of humanity!

This fervor was also reflected in the last few days, when the Ancient Earth Natural Science Museum, which had been a small but crowded place, was so full that the curator was so busy that he tried to drag the laboratory researchers to entertain the visitors.

Lin Xu was resistant.

He had just time traveled over from a zombie-eating, cannibalistic apocalypse world to the interstellar era, and was very resistant to interacting with people, wanting to do a job where he didn’t have to see people to support his family and be a quiet, old-fashioned salted fish.

In his irritated and angry mood, he rarely opened the Starnet news page to learn the causes and consequences of the “Earth Recovery” incident, and wrote down the name of the culprit.

Heinrich Chu.

“But the Empire must be sending an official expedition to Earth, Professor Lin, do you think I have any hope?” Ryan was very longing, “With your status in ancient earth research, they will definitely invite you to go. Professor Lin, can you take me with you?”

Only Ryan, the big-hearted one, dared to talk to Lin Xu like this. The other interns admired Lin Xu’s knowledge but were always afraid of his cold face.

“I’m not going.” Lin Xu looked at his wristwatch, put down the tweezers in his hand, sent the half-repaired ancient books into the intelligent constant temperature, humidity and light stabilization box, and prepared to leave work.

He was afraid of interstellar voyages, afraid of people, and unsure of what kind of mood he should be in to face Earth.

Ryan sighed mournfully and said goodbye to Lin Xu.

When Lin Xu walked out of the lab, he heard Ryan become rejuvenated and cheerfully say to his peers, “My dad was worried that I wouldn’t be able to afford to eat when I was in this program and he was going to throw me away to military school, but now I see that the future is much brighter than being a soldier!”

Lin Xu did not rush home, first went to the curator’s office.

The curator, a beta, was middle-aged and not as impulsive as a young alpha like Ryan, but the recent rebirth of paleoland research had rekindled his enthusiasm for his work.

He was surprised to hear Lin Xu’s request.

“You’re requesting a leave of absence? Right now?”

“Yes.”

“For two more weeks?”

“Yes, I have a lot of vacation time saved up.”

“But the museum is in need of staff in the midst of ancient Earth fever, and on top of that, the Imperial Institute has announced that it will make the solar system monitoring data public, so there’s no telling how many people will be rushing to write their papers. In ancient Earth terms, it’s now or never.”

The curator was impassioned and tried to impress Lin Xu, but Lin Xu only replied, “My old illness has returned and I need to recuperate.”

The curator was out of breath.

Lin Xu was intelligent, capable, and professionally competent, but it was a pity that he was not in good health, obviously a beta, but as if he was more delicate than an omega.

At least an omega only had two or three estrus periods in a year, while Lin Xu needed to take sick leave almost every month, but it was good that he was efficient and would not delay his work.

The curator had no choice but to grant leave and instructed him to take time to look at the monitoring data published by the Institute to see if he could write something.

Lin Xu picked up the car and drove all the way outside the city, where the water and grasses were blooming and people were disappearing.

The Ancient Earth Natural Science Museum was built in the Crescent District, on top of Endymion, a moon of the capital planet, which was planned as a humanities research area during the overall construction. In addition to the Ancient Earth Natural Science Museum, the planet was dotted with research institutions such as the Ancient Earth Legacy Animal Sanctuary and the Institute of Extraterrestrial Intelligent Civilizations.

On the other hand, only researchers and transient visitors came and went here, and the population was sparse, so even fewer people chose to live in the countryside.

Lin Xu was content with his current undisturbed home.

When he parked his car in the garage and entered the living room through the back door, it was raining outside the window, and the vast wilderness was shrouded in rain and fog, with the sharp and lonely mountains floating on the gray mist in the sky.

Two cat-like animals, one black and one white, scampered from the pile of pillows on the sofa, rubbing their furry heads and backs against Lin Xu’s pant legs in an enchanting manner, even collapsing to the ground to reveal their bellies.

As Lin Xu walked toward the living room, they rolled and followed, until Lin Xu threw a fireball in his hand and lit the fireplace, then the two little creatures finally let go of his poor pants and ran to the fireplace to snuggle up.

The weather is getting colder, Lin Xu thought.

Blackie and Snowy were an endemic species from Endymion, commonly known as a rabbit-cat, with the physical appearance of cats but the long ears and short tail of rabbits and the personality of their feline relatives, making them very popular pets on Crescent.

The two of them were picked up by Lin Xu.

After rubbing the two rabbit-cats, Lin Xu filled their food bowls with food and water, and called for a barbecue take-out for himself, with a note for the delivery robot to leave the take-out at the door without knocking and handing it to him.

During the Apocalypse, Lin Xu received a transplantation transformation, in addition to the fire control from human psychics, and even received a zombie transplantation, his light gray eyes were evidence of slight zombification.

The degree of lesion was so slight as to be negligible, except that coming to the interstellar era, although the nutrient solution could meet human dietary needs, but the zombification made Lin Xu always want to chew something, not really need to be a human, and normal cooked meat would suffice.

He felt faint today, his bones began to burn and ache, and did not have the strength to cook normally, so he had to choose the more expensive take-out.

The “recurrence of an old illness” as a reason for taking time off wasn’t just an empty phrase.

Lin Xu used a lot of energy to travel over to the interstellar with his space-time powers. There were no zombies in the interstellar era, so there were no crystal nuclei to replenish energy, and suppressing the rejection of acquired transplanted powers inside the body was also a significant drain.

Without external energy, it could only draw energy from the host body.

*

Ryan stood in front of the curator’s desk as the curator flipped the 3D projection design back and forth, looked left and right, and still felt unsatisfied.

“Ryan ah, what do you think of this piece of your work yourself?”

“Hmm? Me?” Ryan opened his innocent eyes, “I think although it is not as good as Professor Lin’s understanding of the Arc de Triomphe, but I deeply studied Professor Lin’s paper sketch manuscript, 1:1 fine restoration, guaranteed restoration!”

The curator looked at this child’s confident look and only felt he was bragging, “You, you, you do not think your modeling is too contemporary?”

Why is there a mecha in the reliefs on the revolving door of the ancient Luo □ □? And this inscription, how come it’s an Imperial word?

“Ah! I thought that since it was a gift from Miss Hill to Marshal Chu, of course it was a drawing of Marshal’s mecha and the main ship Victoria.”

The curator held his forehead, “Miss Hill could have found any souvenir store to make what you’re talking about, and used finer materials instead of plain white stone. She paid us so many star coins, didn’t she want a gift in pure ancient Earth style for Marshal Chu?”

“Is the Hill family really planning to let the most favored omega youngest daughter marry Marshal Chu? But he’s not…”

A knock on the door interrupted Ryan’s confusion, and the curator took a look at the visitor display, and was so startled that he pushed Ryan aside and told him to stand still, and went to open the door himself in a feverish hurry. Ryan was wondering why the curator didn’t just open the door with a smart remote control, when he saw the visitor in uniform at the door.

Marshal Chu’s adjutant!

“Colonel Arnold, hello, yes yes, I am Ancient Earth Natural Science Museum’s Curator Zhao Chengwen. Yes, this is!”

Holy shit, Heinrich Chu!

Ryan looked far away from the door at the figure he had only seen in the pictorials and exclaimed in his heart, more excited than the curator!

“That’s right, curator Zhao,” Colonel Arnold seemed to be used to the sensation Heinrich Chu had caused over the years, and calmly introduced him, “This is Marshal Heinrich Chu.”

“Hello, Curator Zhao.” Heinrich Chu nodded his head in greeting to the curator. He politely removed his military cap in greeting, his short silver-gray hair spilling out, set against those golden eyes inherited from his dragon father, his spine straight and his breath cold, like a sharp blade hardened by cold water and shining with silver light.

“What brings you here in person? Colonel Arnold told me that he was just here to do the personnel docking.” The curator froze, but hadn’t forgotten his work.

“Professor Zhou from the Imperial Institute said that the museum has an expert on ancient earth cultures named Lin Xu, who is also on the list of ancient earth expeditions. The Marshal had some questions he wanted to ask him and sent a message yesterday and never received a reply.” Arnold said, “It just so happens that I was passing by today and was hoping to talk to Mr. Lin Xu.”

 

This Title is available for faster chapter releases through paid Patreon membership. Any proceeds go to keeping the website running. Check it out HERE.