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Translated by lickNick of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: Addis

 

Gu Wen Zhu arrived home when the sky was almost dark. As soon as he entered, with a piece of pork in his hand, he smiled at Xia Yi and said, “Someone butchered a pig in the neighboring village, I got a few catty. I’ll make dumplings for you tonight.”

“Yes, dumplings.” Xia Yi answered joyfully and hurried his way to wash his hands. The two then were busy chopping up the fillings and making dough.

One hour later, a bowl of hot dumplings was served on the table. Both of them gave each other one and started to feed each other.

While they were enjoying the meal, someone yelled nervously and banged on their front door, “Xia Yi, Yi, are you here? Quickly to the farmland, someone is trying to ruin it!”

The dumpling between his chopsticks dropped into the bowl when Xia Yi heard the news, blood rushed up to his head, his heart pounding fast.

F**k! Who is ruining my farmland?!

He responded to Liu Qing loudly as he was going to the door. Gu Wen Zhu followed behind him.

In the farmland, the villagers, with torches in their hands, were chasing and surrounding three men in black. Those three men were anxiously trying to hide and run, however, villagers were all around them.

“Surround him, surround him, he wants to escape from this way.”

“He is in the ridge, he wants to run below the trees, surround them.”

A shadow swiftly moved into the ridges, preparing to escape through the path under the trees. With a sound of ‘gong,’ his head had been hit. The figure fell and was being pinned down by the villagers that were chasing behind him.

Holding a copper bed pan, Mr. Wang stood there proudly with his invincible aura, he said coldly, “I knew someone will try to escape here, I was waiting for you.”

The other two were trying to escape every way they could. At this moment, Xia Yi arrived. He pounced onto one of them and punched him hard on the side of his head. Xia Yi gritted his teeth and said, “I fuck you and all your ancestors, you son of a bitch, you dare to damage my land, you must be tired of living.”

Then he turned his head with a fierce expression and found that Gu Wen Zhu was looking at him, stupefied. Xia Yi hurriedly jumped down from the back of that person, he put his hand on his chest and sadly said, “Eh.”

Gu Wen Zhu walked up, picked up the guy and threw him on the floor, then the guy stopped moving.

The villagers had tied up the three men in black by this time.

Under the light of the torches, the three guys were tied up and had been thrown into the ridges. It was the three officers again.

Mr. Wang circled them and gave them a cold laugh, then he turned to tell everyone, “During these times, a series of strange events have happened in our village. Clothes were scratched. Empty house was burnt. The eggs in the bowl have gone missing. So, I have been looking for any related clues.”

“A pig breeder came to our village today. I bet you do not know, he has this costume on him. It’s ridiculous! With my experience as the chief of security and my knowledge over the years, I instantly knew that he was questionable.”

“Then I asked him, how do you breed this kind of pig? Haha, he knew nothing, and he could only repeat the word foundation extra-breeding dink. I did not expose him at that moment, but I knew, this pig breeder, is a spy sent by these three guys.” Mr. Wang continued to circle the three men, he eyed them fiercely, talking about his process of solving the case calmly.

“I sensed that something was wrong, but I pretended to know nothing. I have been patrolling all night in the village, observing in the dark. And bingo!” Mr. Wang squinted his eyes for a bit, he crouched, saying word by word, “You took action tonight.”

Xia Yi: …

Officers: …

With their faces black and blue, the three ex-officers eagerly wanted to defend themselves, “No, we didn’t do those things, we know no pig breeder. I am telling you, we were just drinking one or two cups too much tonight, then we remembered how we were being sent to the magistrate office and being whipped ten times each, we had been in the cells until now, so we wanted to come and make trouble for your village, to damage the crops…”

Before he could finish his sentence, his mouth had been stuffed with cloth, “Don’t listen to him, we send them directly to the magistrate office and report them.” Then everybody together pushed the three into the carriage of old Zhang’s and rushed their way to the magistrate office overnight.

Looking at the carriage going away, the villagers all went back to their homes, Xia Yi and Gu Wen Zhu also walked on their way home.

The night deepened, the milky way was shining right above them. A breeze of freshness from the grass passed by through the wind in the night, the sounds of the bugs ringing nonstop from the forests.

Listening to the long and stable breaths of Gu Wen Zhu’s, Xia Yi silently extended his fingers.

Those soft fingers reached the hem of Gu Wen Zhu’s clothes, then slowly moved up to hold Gu Wen Zhu’s hand.

Gu Wen Zhu was stunned, but he immediately held Xia Yi’s hand in return. Xia Yi was delighted but tried not to show it, he then quickly locked his fingers with Gu Wen Zhu’s.

They kept walking like this for a while, neither of them spoke, both of their hearts pounding fast.

“You only hold hands?” 179’s voice rang in an inappropriate moment.

“Can you not spoil the moment? How can this system be without any sense?” Xia Yi wanted to complain right now.

“Nope, I just want to give a friendly reminder, are you lovers not supposed to do some other stuff?” 179 felt wronged.

Right! Do other stuff! Heehee!

“Then you should turn off your camera, I am prepared to do some stuff between lovers.” With improper intentions, Xia Yi was rubbing his hands in his mind.

“I am already watching movies with my headphones on.”

“Ah!” Xia Yi screamed suddenly, he lowered his head and rubbed his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Gu Wen Zhu asked quickly.

“I have sand in the eye, I can’t open my eye…”

“Host, I really think this is cliche, and you are acting badly.” 179’s voice rang again.

“Are you not watching movies?” Xia Yi was furious.

“It is still playing the intro, so I take a look here. Alright alright, the movie is starting, I am off.” In view of Xia Yi’s fury, 179 swiftly backed off.

“Don’t rub! Let me blow it off for you.” Gu Wen Zhu quickly pulled away the hand of Xia Yi’s that was intending to rub his own eye, then he took a couple of steps closer. With one hand supporting the back of Xia Yi’s head, Gu Wen Zhu’s other hand was keeping Xia Yi’s eye open.

Gu Wen Zhu blew softly towards that eye, “Try blinking, see if it is better now?”

Xia Yi blinked though he was fine, “It’s still there.”

“Then let me blow again,” Gu Wen Zhu used his hand to open Xia Yi’s eye again.

This time, while Gu Wen Zhu was blowing Xia Yi’s eye with all his focus, Xia Yi closed the distance between them and began to purse his lips…

“Host you look terrible, your eyelid is up, only eyewhite can be seen, and your mouth is extending out, it feels like fangs are going to come out from it.” 179 could not hold up and told him the problems.

Son of a gun!

“Alright alright, the movie is starting, I am focusing on the movie, don’t disturb me.” 179 promptly smoothed things over.

…Who is disturbing who?

Xia Yi pushed off Gu Wen Zhu’s hand which was keeping his eye open, he said with a stern face, “It’s okay, I feel much better.”

“Really? Try blinking again.” Gu Wen Zhu was still worried.

When he saw Xia Yi was fine, he finally released his hand behind Xia Yi’s head, and continued to walk back home with their hands held.

There was still a long way to go, Xia Yi peeked at Gu Wen Zhu on his side with indecent ideas on his mind: The stars are shining bright, the atmosphere is perfect, I will regret it if I don’t do something… 

Gu Wen Zhu sensed Xia Yi’s stare and turned his head, he smiled and gazed at him softly, the outline of his handsome face looked even sharper under starlight.

Xia Yi could not help but feel his heart tightened, I really can’t hold it anymore, he looks so good, I want him to kiss me now, but he would not take the bait… Um? Why does it have to be him kissing me? I am also a guy! If I want to kiss him, I can do so, what am I afraid of?

He halted his steps all of a sudden when he realised this. There was a fire in his eyes, he slowly looked from Gu Wen Zhu’s face to those lips which were clearly outlined. Feeling Xia Yi stopping, Gu Wen Zhu stopped as well. He turned to look at Xia Yi in confusion, the corner of his eye had raised, his eyes were reflecting the lights of the stars.

F**k, he is good looking!

“Don’t be afraid. I am not doing anything, I am just going to kiss you, just kissing.” Xia Yi nervously talked at a quick pace, pouncing on Gu Wen Zhu. He held Gu Wen Zhu’s neck and started biting around his lips headlessly. 

Gu Wen Zhu stepped back because of the momentum, he hence stepped into the farmland on the side of the road. He froze on the spot, leaving Xia Yi anxiously biting both his lips.

Xia Yi sensed his stiffness, he tried to remind himself to not be a lecher. He kept his motion and whispered to him: “Don’t be nervous, I will take responsibility…”

F**k, why do I sound like a scum?

Gu Wen Zhu began to respond, his hands tightly holding Xia Yi…

“Who’s there?” A loud voice echoed from behind like a landmine exploding.

Although they could not see the person’s face clearly, the copper bed pan in his hand was undoubtedly eye catching while reflecting the starlight, sparkling.

…Mr. Wang do you not sleep?

“Run.” Xia Yi held Gu Wen Zhu’s hand and began to run insanely, their figures disappeared at the end of the road quickly.

Mr. Wang sluggishly moved forward, he came to the spot where Gu Wen Zhu and Xia Yi just stood, he looked at the footprints in the farmland carefully and laughed coldly, “Accomplice.”

 

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Dio85
Dio85
October 22, 2021 5:41 pm

Hilarious! I really really enjoy the way the novel portrays the characters! XY just took charge and took what he wanted! GWZ was stunned but was responding and then here comes Mr Wang with the copper bed pan lol looking forward to next chapter! ❤️❤️

PinPenPan
PinPenPan
October 28, 2021 6:46 pm

Do not underestimate a village mob!
I love that Xia Yi is making moves. He is trying!

loneplum
loneplum
December 17, 2021 10:10 pm

Laughed so hard when Mr. Wang and his bed pan appeared again!!! Third time! (Ok, fourth if you count his appearance twice in this chapter.)

Way to make the first move! Go Xia Yi!! 👍

Lan
Lan
January 24, 2022 10:26 am

XY this chapter 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Angel
Angel
January 31, 2022 4:39 am

Hahaha!! Mr Wang is a nutbag 🤣 this chapter is hilarious

BegoniaBlooms
BegoniaBlooms
February 6, 2022 1:26 am

Mr. Wang is a crack character! I laughed so much everytime he appeared.
And I believed those three jobless ex-officers are just finding excuse to keep being sent to jail for free food and roof to sleep 😅.

Spica
Spica
February 19, 2022 7:57 pm

Akakakakka every chp got me laughing

GiL
GiL
April 18, 2022 1:57 am

Hahaha! Mr. Wang and 179 were hilarious.
Thanks for the chapter

Spkaudi
April 24, 2022 8:08 pm

Thank you for the chapter.
Mr. Wang is so OP with his bed pan. {Snicker}

Dummy dum
Dummy dum
May 21, 2022 10:55 am

HAHAHAHAHA Mr. Wang!

Corina
Corina
August 10, 2022 4:23 pm

I love Mr. Wang!!!!

SilentK
SilentK
August 29, 2022 9:35 am

I LAUGHED SO HARD THIS ENTIRE CHAPTER

Blizzard passing by said hey~
Blizzard passing by said hey~
October 6, 2022 10:06 pm

this Mr. Wang should be detective officer lol

Matcha Au Lait
Matcha Au Lait
December 21, 2022 9:17 pm

Thank you for this chapter!

TomCat
TomCat
January 7, 2023 11:53 pm

Who would have guessed you just need a bed pan for protection 😂 gotta love Mr Wang❤️

scatteringDogFood
scatteringDogFood
January 23, 2023 10:05 am

Mr. Wang and 179 are so freaking hilarious.. I can’t. 😅

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