Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations
The screams of the three stopped.
For a moment, the house was so quiet that even the breath of several people could be clearly distinguished. Outside the window, a crow in the forest crowed twice, as if laughing at the farce.
Augusta was skeptical, “What evidence do you have?”
The skeleton lifted its left hand and raised its middle finger.
Augusta was furious, “How dare you make such obscene gestures! Believe it or not, I can cut your hand off!”
Kyfayar tugged at Augusta’s sleeve and whispered, “It’s a ring! The ring!”
The skeleton had a gold ring on the middle finger of its left hand with a shield shaped emblem on it. It also pointed to the door. Kyfayar and Quentina ran out and found that the same emblem was painted on the door, like some kind of aristocratic family emblem. They hadn’t noticed it at all.
“…He might be the owner…” After listening to Quentina’s report, Augusta sighed.
The skeleton’s face showed no signs of joy or anger, but Augusta guessed that it was probably unhappy. “Nonsense. If I’m not the owner, why am I in this house?”
“We are not the owners, but we are staying here as well?”
The skeleton was speechless.
Quentina hastily came out to make a comeback, “Mr. Landlord, don’t mind his words! He’s sick, he’s confused, he doesn’t keep his word!”
Augusta glared at the female vampire, “You’re sick!”
Quentina lifted the blanket over his head, pushed him back to bed and said to the skeleton with a smile, “Listen, he’s talking nonsense!”
“Oh, is this gentleman ill?”
“Yes, he fell into the water. As a result, he caught a cold.”
“What a pity.” The skeleton said regretfully, “Are you here for a holiday? You can’t play around when you’re sick. We have to find a way to cure you.”
Kyfayar’s eyes brightened, “Do you have medicine for colds at home?”
“No,” the skeleton replied decisively.
“…Then why would you make such a remark?”
“Expressing my concern. It’s just social language. Don’t mind it.”
“Let’s have a good time…” Kyfayar muttered.
“I think there should be a lot of herbs growing in the forest.” The skeleton said, “Aren’t there? That disgusting smell floats right down to the basement, I can even smell it in my sleep. Thanks to that, I specially asked the people of the intermediary company to pile up debris at the entrance of the basement, but it was totally useless!”
Quentina frowned unpleasantly. “You don’t even have a nose. How can you smell the herbs?”
“How rude, how can you point out other people’s defects?” The skeleton covered its chest.
Augusta struggled to emerge from the blanket, “Those herbs are so bad that even the skeleton knows it’s disgusting! I don’t want to drink that again!”
“The landlord just said that they smell bad. Just because it smells bad does not necessarily mean it is hard to drink.” Quentina defended her herbs.
“This one smells and tastes bad! I might die faster if I drink it!”
“Don’t drink it. You can cure yourself with your weak immune system.”
“You can’t say that, sir.” The skeleton said, “You still need to drink the medicine. A small cold can also develop into a serious disease! I had a cold that developed into pneumonia and died. Medicine was so underdeveloped at that time.”
The house was silent.
Why bring up such a heavy topic, Mr. Landlord! Augusta thought. I was in a good mood, but now I’m at the bottom! Are you really not sent by the God of Death? Oh, I knew I shouldn’t have come here for hell’s vacation!
“Let’s change the subject.” The landlord probably noticed the tangle in the hearts of the people and happily spoke. (Augusta suspected that he said it on purpose to destroy their mood.) Everyone nodded and said yes. “Just call me Leopold. As you can see, I was the owner of this house and the surrounding land before when I was alive and, of course, after I died. I haven’t asked for your names yet.”
The three gave their names. Leopold was surprised and said, “Oh. I have heard that you are the famous upstart local rich man in Dongqing County… Oh, no, descendant of the Holligers of the New Upper Class?”
Kyfayar and Quentina smilingly looked at Augusta. They knew that Augusta’s family used to be quite rich (and still were), but it was the first time they’d heard someone use the word ‘upstart’ for him.
“What are you looking at?” Augusta exclaimed, “Who in the world has money from the beginning? There must be a process of accumulating wealth! No matter what era, ordinary people become rich people, and some rich people go bankrupt overnight. Why are you looking at me like this?”
Leopold said, “Yes, that’s right. To think you’d rent a cheap house like mine to spend your holiday. You’re probably not an upstart any more.”
Kyfayar and Quentina turned their heads and giggled. Augusta beat the bed angrily, “What are you laughing at? Did I want to come on a holiday? It’s Quentina who rented the house on her own initiative. I didn’t know of it before!”
“I don’t want to save you money.” Quentina said.
“Didn’t you sell your land to build a small town?” Kyfayar asked, “And let the unicorn go out to work and make money?”
“My family sold the land to develop real estate!” Augusta felt like he was going crazy. “The money from the land sale is now used to invest in other businesses! As for the unicorn, he’s an adult. What’s wrong with letting him go out to work? He can’t be a loafer who stays at home all day.”
“Ah, aren’t you referring to yourself?”
“I’m a magician! I’m not idle! I do research every day! Are you sick of your eyes and don’t want to see any longer?”
“I haven’t seen any research results anyway,” Kyfayar said.
“Are those two ears on your head decorative?”
Kyfayar covered his furry wolf ears, “Can this also be called ‘research findings’? It’s clearly a product of failure!”
“Many things in the world are invented by mistake!”
“Do you want to take the potion that makes werewolves grow ears and tails as a ‘new invention’?”
“That’s a good idea. There are business opportunities,” Quentina said.
“I agree. If the promotion is successful, you can ‘be an upstart’ for a second time,” said the skeleton.
“If I die today, I will be angry with you!”
Suddenly, the unicorn poked his head into the room. He threw a basket to the ground, and the wild fruits and mushrooms fell out one after another.
He was staring at Leopold and did not speak for a long time. Augusta thought he was so scared that he would scream and run into the forest in a short time. Unexpectedly, he just puffed through his nostrils and said scornfully, “Hmph, nouveau riche.”
“I beg you to repeat it?” Leopold asked.
“The clothes you wear are really a nouveau riche’s taste.”
The skeleton looked down at his green silk robe, “What’s wrong with this?”
“Typical Augusta style, nouveau riche taste.” He said the word for the third time, “I didn’t expect that you would dress like that. Even skeleton soldiers that are summoned wouldn’t wear the same clothes as you. I really admire you.”
“I was not summoned!” Leopold raised his voice, “I’m the landlord here!”
“Really? I thought you guys were going to train Kyfayar’s fetching technique, but couldn’t find the right bone, so you just called on a skeleton soldier to make up the number bones needed. Kyfayar, if the skeleton ran out of the door now, would you be unable to extricate yourself from it and involuntarily want to chase it?”
Leopold turned to Augusta, “Your strange horse with the long horn on its head is so open-minded that it dares to say anything.”
Augusta waved his hand, “It’s a vice virtue.”
“Is that drawbridge yours, too?” asked the unicorn.
“If you are talking about the suspension bridge in the upstream gorge, it is indeed funded by me, and the property right should belong to me.”
“Can you fix it? Or we won’t be able to go back. Although we have other ways to cross the river, it’s very troublesome.”
“What’s wrong with the drawbridge? Is it broken?”
“What do you think?”
The skeleton screamed, “You broke my suspension bridge?”
“What’s with ‘you broke’? Your broken suspension bridge was in disrepair for a long time. It should have been broken for a long time now. To be up for this long is a miracle.”
“There is magic on the suspension bridge. Except for human destruction, it will not be broken even if the natural conditions are bad, so it must have been broken by you!”
Augusta, Quentina, and Kyfayar bowed their heads with a guilty heart. It was true that the suspension bridge was broken by the unicorn. There was no excuse for it. Unicorn, why did you open the pot?! What did this have to do with the suspension bridge?
“There is no such ridiculous magic in the world!” The unicorn didn’t like the skeleton.
“Yes! You, a frog in the well, of course, don’t know! You broke my suspension bridge! How can I have the guests come to the house in the future?”
“What a worry! No one wants to come to such a dilapidated house in the mountains and forests!”
… And so, Augusta and his party were swept out!