Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations
A pale light shone into the dark basement and reflected a round spot on the wall. Although there was light, it still set off the darkness in other places.
Kyfayar, holding a flashlight, made a discreet little step, and Quentina followed him with trepidation.
“I’ll tell you why the rent for this house was so cheap. It must be a trick! I thought it was just poor living conditions, but I didn’t expect it to be a haunted house!” The female vampire said quietly, “This is not a supernatural film, but a murder horror film! There are only ghosts in supernatural movies, but there are real corpses in murder movies! Is there a manic killer lurking nearby? Or is the owner of this house a bloodthirsty murderer?”
Kyfayar moved the flashlight, and the pale light moved to the left. All of a sudden, he took a breath of cold air, and his flashlight fell to the ground and went out. Quentina screamed.
“Miss Quentina! What are you panicking about! Don’t you have night vision?”
“I’m flustered just because I have night vision! I’ve seen everything!”
Kyfayar picked up the flashlight while enduring her deafening scream, flipped it on, and shone it into the darkness again.
Within the glow of the pale light, there was an old-fashioned reclining chair. A skeleton was lying on the chair with its head askew, wearing a rather luxurious silk robe.
“That’s it! That’s it!” Quentina turned into a bat. “A corpse! Oh, my God! I didn’t think there was such a terrible thing under this cottage! A body! I want to complain! I’m going to take the landlord and the agency out of business!”
Kyfayar took a few steps with a wooden face, looked at the skeleton carefully, turned his head and sighed helplessly, “Miss Quentina, you are just too shocked. It’s not a body at all. It’s a skeleton.”
“…What are you saying?” Quentina looked pale.
“If it was a corpse, it would rot before it turned into white bones and the clothes on it wouldn’t be so clean.” Kyfayar tugged at the silk robe on the skeleton. “You see, it’s so neat, almost like it’s brand new.”
“It’s a model?”
“Certainly. Which landlord would rent out a place with corpses in the basement? Wouldn’t you be afraid of someone calling the police? If it’s a human skeleton model, it makes sense. Well, the landlord of this house even dressed the model and put it in the basement. It’s so funny.”
“What a bad taste! It’s awful! Bloody awful!”
“Also… Why are you afraid of a corpse? Aren’t you immortal yourself…”
Quentina was indignant, “People can scare people to death. Why can the undead not be afraid of dead people? Besides, even if the corpse can move, vampires and skeletons are two completely different undead creatures, which can’t be generalized at all! Just as mammals, don’t humans scream when they see bats and mice?!”
“It won’t hurt you!” Kyfayar went around the back of the chair, grabbed the skeleton’s left hand, waved it to Quentina in a friendly way, pinched his voice and said, “Hello, Miss Vampire, I’m a little skeleton. Nice to meet you!”
Under the light from the flashlight, Quentina’s face changed greatly, and the originally pale skin color of the vampire was now like a layer of chalk white.
“Corpse, corpse…” She pointed to the skeleton on the chair and stopped talking.
What was wrong? Kyfayar lowered his head.
Kyfayar vowed that he had not moved the skeleton, only touched its arm! After a few seconds, the skeleton’s head turned to Kyfayar, and its neck bone creaked.
“Boy, you’re being impolite. Put my arm down,” said the skeleton.
Finally free from the werewolf and vampire, Augusta was able to enjoy a moment of peace. He lay in bed, sleepy. He wanted to change and didn’t want to understand why he was so unlucky recently? Either entering the police station or falling ill after getting wet seemed to have spent all his bad luck of the year. He hoped to be lucky in the future, otherwise he really wanted to…
“Aaaaaaaaaah!” The screams of terror grew closer from a distance. The door was slammed open and Kyfayar and Quentina rushed in and fell on Augusta. The magician was so stressed by their weight that he almost vomited all the herbal concoctions he had just taken.
“What’s the matter?” Augusta yelled, “This is my bed, not a holiday shopping mall! Why jump on my bed! No! Get out of here, Kyfayar! Don’t get into my blanket!” He kicked the young werewolf away.
“Monsieur Augusta, the matter is not good!” Kyfayar was in tears.
“There was a basement in the house. We went into the basement and found that there was…” Quentina grabbed the blanket and sobbed.
Augusta conjectured, “Was there a magic book to summon the great evil god?”
They shook their heads and couldn’t even speak. Augusta was full of question marks. Since it was not a horror movie, what was in the basement that scared them like ostriches?
There was a slight sound of footsteps outside the door. Da. Da. Da. The sound was loud, not like the soles of shoes on the floor. Da. Da. Da. The footsteps came right to the door. Augusta’s heart went up to his throat. He instinctively wanted to release a defense magic, but now that his brain was full of paste, he could not even remember half of the mantra!
The door that had not been shut was pushed fully open.
A skeleton in a green silk robe entered the room.
Augusta was speechless.
What is this? Why were there skeletons in a holiday cottage? This was definitely the trend of a horror movie! Kyfayar, Quentina, what did you do in the basement? How did you make a skeleton? Are we going to be cut to death by this guy? I never thought that my life would end here! After all, why else would a skeleton appear in this house!?
“That…” Augusta hesitated. “Are you the God of Death?”
The skeleton was speechless.
Augusta exclaimed ruefully. “Oh! I knew it! I should have made a will. I shouldn’t have listened to Kyfayar and Quentina’s slander at that time! Now, it’s too late! All of my inheritance will belong to those distasteful distant relatives!”
The skeleton raised its right hand and scratched the back of its head. Augusta didn’t know why it did it. In theory, the back of its head shouldn’t itch. It was a sign of confusion.
“Er? I don’t know what you misunderstood,” said the skeleton politely, “but I’m not the God of Death.”
“Then what are you?”
“It’s rude to ask what I am. Nowadays, young people are becoming more and more impolite. It’s really declining in the world. At least, what you should ask is ‘who are you?'” The skeleton replied.
Augusta calmed down (he was dizzy and seemed to have a higher fever) and wanted to ask who the skeleton was. But Quentina suddenly exclaimed, “Don’t ask, Lord Augusta! If you ask, it will say, ‘Ha ha, you know too much. You can’t save your life, just die.’ I know, this is the usual routine of a horror movie! Don’t ask!”
“Yeah!” Kyfayar echoed, “I haven’t seen a lot of horror movies, but Miss Quentina seems to have seen a lot of them. There must be some reason for her to say so!”
“Enough from you two!”
“No, Lord Augusta! What’s more, we can’t let it know our names, otherwise! Oops, did our names leak out? Whoa, whoa, I’m too young. I don’t want to die again!”
The skeleton (as if it had eyes) looked at them, and the three screamed like the end of the world was coming. It was enough to bring down the earth.
The skeleton watched them calmly for a while, and then suddenly said, “Actually, I am the owner of this house.”