Chapter 102: Hatred—Part Five
Although he was pierced right through the chest, Jiang Cheng wasn’t so weak as to have died right then. It just wasn’t the best for him to move or conjure up his spiritual powers. He didn’t like it when others tried to help him, turning to Jin Ling he said, “Fuck off.”
Jin Ling knew Jiang Cheng was still mad at him for running around. He felt guilty and didn’t dare defend himself. The dog’s barks came from afar, followed by a sudden wail. Jin Ling shuddered as he remembered what Jin GuangYao said, shouting, “Fairy, run! They’re gonna kill you!”
Soon, Su She rushed through the storm, furious. Jin GuangYao, “You didn’t kill it?”
Su She’s expression darkened, “I couldn’t. Can’t believe the dog’s so spineless. It’s wild when somebody’s there to help it, but as soon as it’s at a disadvantage, it runs away faster than anyone!”
Jin GuangYao shook his head, “It might lead someone else over. We should finish things quickly here.”
Su She, “Those good-for-nothings! I’ll go make them hurry.”
Jin Ling, on the other hand, let out a sigh of relief. Seeing Jiang Cheng sit on the ground, still dark-faced, he turned to Lan WangJi after some hesitation, “HanGuang-Jun, are there any more sitting mats?”
The four mats that they’d been sitting on were all gathered by Lan WangJi. However, there were only four within the temple. After some silence, Lan WangJi stood up and pushed over the one he’d been sitting on.
Jin Ling hurried, “Thank you! It’s fine. I’ll just give him mine…”
Lan WangJi, “There is no need.”
As soon as he finished, he sat down beside Wei WuXian. Even as the two sat so seriously on the same sitting mat, they didn’t seem too cramped. Now that the mat was handed over already, Jin Ling scratched his head before dragging Jiang Cheng over. Jiang Cheng first pressed onto an acupoint at his chest, stopping the blood flow. After he sat down, he looked up and glanced over at Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi. He soon looked down again. His face was gloomy, disclosing nothing of what he was thinking.
Right at this point, an ecstatic cry came from behind the palace, “Sect Leader! We got it! A corner is out already!”
Jin GuangYao’s expression relaxed quite somewhat. He quickly walked back behind the palace, “Press on! Please be careful. There’s not much time left.”
Over a dozen streaks of lightning twisted their way across the edge of the sky. They were soon followed by a series of roaring thunder. Over there, Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi sat together while Jiang Cheng sat at the side. Jin Ling dragged his own mat over as well. Amid the pounding of the rain, there was a long while of dead, awkward silence. Nobody spoke up.
But for some reason, Jin Ling seemed as if he really wanted to talk to them. After some glancing around, he suddenly began, “Uncle, good thing you stopped that guqin string earlier on, or else things would be pretty bad.”
Jiang Cheng’s face darkened, “You can shut up!”
If not for him leaving Jin GuangYao with a chance for a sneak attack due to his own unstable emotions, he wouldn’t have landed in the enemy’s hands either. On top of that, in reality, Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi could’ve completely dodged the attack on their own. Even though, right now, Lan WangJi had no spiritual powers and Wei WuXian’s were low to begin with, their skills were still there. They couldn’t attack, but they were still able to dodge. Clumsily, Jin Ling was trying to speak for his uncle, yet the deliberation made the situation even more awkward.
After being scolded, Jin Ling stopped talking, embarrassed. Jiang Cheng sealed his lips together and didn’t speak again.
Wei WuXian didn’t say anything either. In the past, he’d definitely laugh at Jiang Cheng for being so easily-provoked that he gave the opponent an opportunity. But now, recalling what Jin GuangYao said, he understood everything.
Jiang Cheng knew the truth already.
Lan WangJi stroked Wei WuXian’s back a few more times. Wei WuXian looked up. Lan WangJi didn’t seem at all surprised. His eyes were almost gentle. Wei WuXian felt his heart skip a beat. He couldn’t help but whisper, “… You knew?”
Lan WangJi nodded slowly.
Wei WuXian let out a light breath, “… Wen Ning.”
Wen Ning had originally been keeping Suibian, but now it was in Jiang Cheng’s hands. And on their way back from Lotus Pier, Wen Ning said nothing of such a matter.
Wei WuXian, “When did he say it?”
Lan WangJi, “While you were unconscious.”
Wei WuXian, “This was how we left Lotus Pier?!”
If not that Wen Ning hadn’t found them yet, Wei WuXian would definitely have begun glaring at him already.
Lan WangJi, “He always felt sorry for you.”
Wei WuXian’s tone was tinged with anger, “… I told him so many times not to say it!”
Out of the blue, Jiang Cheng spoke up, “Not to do what?”
Wei WuXian paused in surprise, turning to him along with Lan WangJi. Jiang Cheng covered his wound with one hand, his voice chilly, “Wei WuXian, you’re such a great, selfless person. You did the best things possible, and you swallowed all the suffering and didn’t let anyone know. What a touching story. I should kneel down and cry in gratitude, shouldn’t I?”
Hearing the mocking tone that lacked any courtesy, Lan WangJi’s face grew cold. Jin Ling saw the displeased expression and immediately stood in front of Jiang Cheng, scared that Lan WangJi would kill him with one strike, “Uncle!”
Wei WuXian’s expression worsened as well. He never expected Jiang Cheng to make up with him after he found out the truth, but he didn’t think his tone would be as unkind as ever, either. With a moment of silence, he replied, voice muffled, “I never asked you to thank me.”
Jiang Cheng let out a hah, “Of course. Giving without expecting anything in return. What a high level. Unlike me, of course. So that’s why my father always said you were the one who truly understood the Jiang Sect’s motto and did things the Jiang way, back when he was alive.”
Wei WuXian couldn’t keep on listening any longer, interrupting him, “Enough.”
Jiang Cheng’s voice harshened, “What do you mean, enough? It’s enough as long as you say so? You know everything! You’re better than me at everything! Whether it be talent or cultivation or spirituality or personality, you guys knew everything while I was much lower—then what am I?!?!”
He suddenly reached out, as if to seize Wei WuXian’s collar. Lan WangJi grabbed Wei WuXian’s shoulder with one hand, letting Wei WuXian stand behind him, and with his other hand he forcefully pushed away Jiang Cheng’s hand. Rage could be seen hidden within his eyes. Although his push held no spiritual energy, it was quite powerful in terms of strength. The wound at Jiang Cheng’s chest ripped apart again. Blood surged.
Jin Ling cried, “Uncle, your wound! HanGuang-Jun, spare some mercy!”
However, Lan WangJi’s voice was cold, “Jiang WanYin, spare some virtue!”
Lan XiChen took off his outer robe and lay it over the shivering Nie HuaiSang, “Sect Leader Jiang, please do not be so agitated. Your injury will worsen.”
Jiang Cheng shoved Jin Ling, who’d been holding him up helplessly, out of the way. Even though he was losing blood, it rushed to his head unceasingly. His face switched between white and red, “Why? Wei WuXian, just fucking why?”
Behind Lan WangJi, Wei WuXian replied stiffly, “Why what?”
Jiang Cheng, “Just how much did we the Jiang Sect give you? I’m supposed to be his son, I’m supposed to be the heir of the YunmengJiang Sect, yet all these years I’ve been outdone by you at every single thing. You paid for your bringing-up with life! The lives of my dad, my mom, my sister, and Jin ZiXuan! Because of you, all that’s left is a parentless Jin Ling!”
Jin Ling trembled. His shoulders sunk, and his face sagged as well. Wei WuXian moved his lips, but he couldn’t say anything. Lan WangJi turned around to hold his hand.
On the other hand, Jiang Cheng refused to give up, shouting, “Wei WuXian, who was the one who broke his promise and betrayed the Jiang Sect first? Tell me. That I’d be the sect leader and you’d be my subordinate, that you’d help me your whole life, that so long as the GusuLan Sect had its Two Jades, the YunmengJiang Sect would have its Two Prides, that you’d never betray me or betray the Jiang Sect—who was the one that said these?! I’m asking you—who was the one that said all these?! Did you eat all your fucking words?!”
He got more agitated as he ranted on, “And in the end? You go and protect outsiders, haha! The Wen Sect’s people, even. How much of their rice did you eat?! Defecting with such resolution! What did you take our sect to be?! You did all the best things, yet every time you do the worst ones, it’s involuntary! Forced! With some unspeakable grievances! Grievances?! You told me nothing, you played me for a fool!!!
“Just how much do you owe the Jiang Sect? Am I not supposed to hate you? Can I not hate you?! Why is it that now it’s like I’m supposed to have wronged you?! Why do I have to feel like I’m a fucking clown all these years?! What am I? Do I deserve to be blinded by all your dazzling splendor?! Am I not supposed to hate you?!”
Lan WangJi shot up. With panic, Jin Ling stood in front of Jiang Cheng, “HanGuang-Jun! My uncle’s hurt…”
Jiang Cheng slapped him onto the ground, “Let him come! Am I scared of him?!”
But after the slap, Jin Ling froze. Not only him, Wei WuXian, Lan WangJi, and Lan XiChen all stopped moving.
Jiang Cheng was crying. Tears poured from his eyes as he forced through his teeth, “… Why… Why didn’t you tell me?!”
Jiang Cheng clenched his fist, like he wanted to hit someone, like he wanted to hit himself. In the end, he still slammed it onto the ground. He should’ve been able to loathe Wei WuXian without a care. But right now, the golden core revolving within him took away all that confidence.
Wei WuXian didn’t know what to say.
In the beginning, it was precisely because he didn’t want to see such a Jiang Cheng that he decided not to tell him.
He remembered every single thing he promised Jiang FengMian and Madam Yu—to help and take care of Jiang Cheng. If someone as unhealthily competitive as him found out about this, he’d be dispirited his whole life, too tortured to face himself. There’d always be something he could never overcome, reminding him that he could only reach where he was because of another’s sacrifice. It wasn’t at all his cultivation and his achievement. No matter if he won or lost, he’d long since lost the right to compete.
Afterwards, it was because Jin ZiXuan and Jiang YanLi died for him that he had no face to let others know. To tell Jiang Cheng after what happened then would be like shirking responsibility, hurrying to demonstrate that he’d contributed as well. It’d be like telling Jiang Cheng, don’t hate me, look I’ve contributed to the YunmengJiang Sect too.
Jiang Cheng cried soundlessly, but tears had already streaked across his face. To cry in such an unsightly way in front of others was almost impossible for him in the past. But every single moment that passed from now on, as long as the golden core remained in his body, as long as it could still revolve, he’d forever remember this feeling.
He choked, “… You said I’d be the sect leader and you’d be my subordinate, you said you’d help me your whole life, you said you’d never betray the YunmengJiang Sect… You said so yourself.”
“…” After a moment of silence, Wei WuXian replied, “I’m sorry. I broke my promise.”
Jiang Cheng shook his head, burying his face deep into his palms. A second later, he suddenly burst out with a laugh. His muffled voice mocked, “It’s such a time already, and I still need you to say sorry to me. What a fragile person I am.”
I keep thinking one main reason JC was so upset about WY breaking the promise about being his subordinate was the “subordinate” part – having power over the one whom he could never beat, even if it was in name only.
JC couldn’t be happy and at peace because he couldn’t face his inferiority complex, grow out of his victim mentality, and stop obsessing over what he believed other people owed him.
I agreed.
Thank you!!!
See, I never thought of it like this. Jiang Cheng did what an upright Chinese young man would do to show virtue–he was fiercely loyal to his family. Wei Ying, having not had that blood family from the start, was able to empathize with the Wen survivors, and that and his decision to go down the demon path without a cultivator’s core meant he knew he could never stand by Jiang Cheng’s side anyway. But JC really DID want his last sibling by his side. He DID want to bring the sect back with his brother. He wanted Wei Wuxien to value what he valued, but it was just not possible. I still feel like JC’s greatest misery is that he always loved his adopted sibling, which made it so much harder to hate him. And when he couldn’t hate him even when he knew his virtue dictated to him that he should, all that loathing turned inward and increased his bitterness. SOMEONE HELP JC! HE DOESN’T DESERVE THIS!
WWX promised to stand by and support JC. JC didn’t do the same. Ideally, blood/sworn brothers, or even friends, should be equal. So the relationship was still more one-sided. That is, JC believed WWX’s loyalty to him and Jiang sect must be absolute and unequivocal while he was not obligated to reciprocate the same. Obviously, he did reciprocate for the most part because WWX was the closest thing to family outside of his “real” family.
I believe Chinese traditional values do not hold loyalty to one’s family above all else. However, such attitude is understandable because people naturally self-segregate.
In any case, WWX was gone for 13 years. JC accomplished a great deal on his own. Yet, his inner self still focused on his feelings of inadequacy and being betrayed. No one could help him if he didn’t want to make the effort to leave his personal hell.
they both like siblings.to understand and protect each other. to give the best and the-impossible-motto for each other. yet, one still looking behind trying to find his inner capability, one still looking far to their front to prevent the worst. if only they stop looking and start turn around, they would be standing together right now :”
feel bad tho :”
When I was watching the anime, I thought I’d hate JC, but after reading the novel I feel so freaking sorry for him and I can feel his pain, always outdone by the one who once promised to stay by his side but didn’t keep his promise. In this chapter, he’s clearly angry with Wei WuXian AND himself. Nothing ever goes his way no matter how hard he tries and everyone he loves goes away in the end.
I’m not ashamed to admit I cried harder than JC when reading this chapter. So much it hurts.
You know JC probably feels like shit when you think along the lines of if he hadn’t rushed off and tried to get revenge and lost his core in the first place chances are WWX probably wouldn’t have gone down the path he did.
It was the only path in the cultivation world he had left w/o his own core and all so yeah…
That is fucking true. Its a fact that if he were to have his golden core WW wouldn’t practice demonic cultivation.
Don’t cryyy Jiang Cheng Dx or else I’ll cry too… *sobs*
Such an emotional chapter, but amazing. Fantastic translation.
So much pain on both sides. Wei Ying only wants to protect Jiang Cheng because he knows JC so very well. Jiang Cheng never wants WY to bear all the burden but he’s not someone who can have a heart-to-heart talk with anyone. Both have protected each other silently and also suffers in silence.
I only wish time will soften all the edges between them.
I felt like crying while reading this chapter.
I feel bad now…almost make me cry.WWX, just tell it..let everyone know ur suffer especially to JC. Let he know , then i😣 n u will feel relief. N also wwx will not be blame anymore.
Thanks, really! Amazing translation, as always.
WWX… JC… oh my, it really breaks my heart.
Nobody really understands Jiang Cheng, since he is not a person who speaks his mind.
Wei Ying would has never thought his words means so much to JC. To JC, he supposed to be the person who knows him best. They grew up together, done many mischief things together, cover up each other, helped each other. JC is the only one who knew WY’s weakness and always save him from dogs back then as his promised, and WY did always call him to save him. Although JC has his parents and sister, WY is his only brother and friend he ever had due to his temper.
JC has never really hate WWX. Though it is said that WY died on his shidi’s hand, who could’ve blame him? He lost the last family he had, Jiang Ling. WY also went mad that day. Nobody should blame JC or WY. They have their own madness at that time.
The moment WY chose to protect the Wens, it is the moment he had broken his promise to JC. Yet, JC still thinks of him as family. He played scene to let other think they have become enemy, and still visit him with JL before the marriage with the stake of his sect’s reputation. We all know what rumors can do to harm people.
JC has never really intent to kill WY after he backs to life. Otherwise he will kill WY right away when he captured him. He helped him in the cave too. Though his words are always harsh, deep inside he is not. In his heart he knows that Yunmenjiang’s distruction, his parents death, JL’s parents death are not WY”s fault. He just needed reasons to go on, on his own for the sake of the sect, his parents legacy, and for his new born nephew.
Sometimes people just don’t understand, not telling the truth to protect the people they love, is actually hurts them even more and do more harms. Tell them the truth and let them decide. It is the best and much fair way.
Poor Jin Ling, he must be shock to see his uncle”s tears.
Now, things have come this way, there is no way they can go back like they use to. Sighs. Really wants to hug three of them together.
I agree with you, JC is really a misunderstood character. we all have to remember that there is depth to each person’s word and actions. also, we’re still unsure if JC really did kill WY with his own hands as there were other rumours that WY’s demonic cultivation was the cause instead. either way, i believe JC would have grieved endlessly. if not, why the constant search for 13 years?
That is what confuses me as well, I think it is said he died at the hands “of his own shidi” aka Jiang Cheng, but them I also heard, or better said as example the Audio drama implied that he got ripped apart by the corpses because the demonic cultivation backfired. Maybe he got first stabbed and the ripped apart? Oof
Thanks for the new Chapter and the beautiful music.
This is for ERS team.Is it possible to add the name or the link for the songs you posted for the readers who know only English? Thanks again gor the chapter and the music.
😭 you poor poor babies… You can tell that the thing that hurts JC the most is that WY broke his promise and he ended up being alone… (Even now)
Yes, JC you are fragile… Let all your fans give you a hug~
Ikr i just want to hug jc and tell him everything will be alright. 🤧🤧
Thanks a lot for chapter 102.
I cried.
😥
I actually dont really like Jiang Cheng.When they were younger he genuinely cared for Wei Ying.But as he grew older jealousy sort of ate him up .It seemed to me that he sort of used the fact everyone hated Wei Ying to get him to be removed from his clan.Even after he found out about the golden core he still doesn’t feel any sort of remorse.Like what more does he want from Wei Ying.
He always gets affected by his own emotions and inferiority complex.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS TRANSLATION! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!! IT MADE MY WHOLE NIGHT!
I’ve always felt sorry for Jiang Cheng, and I guess those feels culminated in this chapter. Seriously, the guy has every right to be angry. He loved Wei WuXian despite everything he felt that WWX effortlessly stole from him, and now he still has to feel like the Bad Guy when the truth comes out. And I feel sorry for Jin Ling who is so much caught in the middle of this.
Jiang Cheng…I really wish someone could bring him peace, like Lan WanJi did for Wei WuXian. I wish he could reconcile himself to loving his brother, since his anger stems from that love. It’s a tragic story in so many ways for JC. He never deserved this level of heartbreak, and he can’t even give himself some credit for restoring his sect from the ground up.
It also didn’t escape my notice that Lan WanJi Took Wen Ning’s side in this and defended him a little. That was a big step. RIP Wen Ning, because he is going to get SUCH a tongue lashing after this!
Lan WanJi’s constant protectiveness gives me life.
And, finally:
JIANG CHENG, STOP HITTING YOUR POOR NEPHEW! HE’S MORE OF A VICTIM OF CIRCUMSTANCE THAN YOU ARE!
There’s a person in this temple who has a LOT of explaining to do, and I cannot wait to hear how it all shakes down!
Thank you so much for this translation, also I love the inclusion of the music for each chapter now. The track for this chapter made the chapter more emotional.
Jiang Cheng’s tears. 😢
And I feel so sorry for Jin Ling too. 😢
thank you first for the hard work
and second, omg JC sure knows to jump from crying to a maniac laugh :)))
aww such much tension can be felt,i guess WW words back then carved deep into his mind and soul,only that things went out of hand
i think he never meant to break it, but life came, while JC been left behind, both are in pain, but JC always felt inferior to ww even now he does, and not to mention he is carrying his golden core too lol
but damn LW, nobody touches my ww :)) push
i feel bad for jc. to have everything you believed in turned upside down and having the person you hated for the most part of your life being actually the person who saved you..what a feeling that is. i feel bad for wwx too..that after all he’s done, he was just trying to protect everyone but in the end he only caused pain albeit indirectly sometimes. ahhhh all the feels let me cry for a few hrs. haha
thank you again for your selfless work in translating this!
Im crying 😭😭 both wwx and jc were hurt. Just have heart to heart talk you two 😣
And thank you k and team for this chapter 💕
LWJ – you are the man of smooth moves 😛 WWX is practically on your lap so OF COURSE you don’t need that extra sitting mat…
On the more serious side, poor JC. There will be ALWAYS someone better than you- (that’s real life, alas). WWX was trying to protect you from yourself, but that’s not to be… Poor JL the kid doesn’t deserve to be slapped at all. None of his uncles are thinking straight these days 🙁
Thanks for this heart-string tugging chapter. Hopefully the next one will be a lot more lighthearted. Heck, I’ll take a fight scene too.
Thank you very much for the translation !