Previous Chapter
Next Chapter
12 min read

Chapter 47: Chance

Translated by Shiya of Exiled Rebels Scanlations


Something clicked in Leung ZiRui’s heart, though Li Sui’s question was out of the blue and disorganized, he actually understood what Li Sui was asking about. Leung ZiRui comforted him, “Your nervous system was stimulated by the medicine, it’s just illusions, don’t take it seriously.”

Li Sui placed the back of his hand on his eyes, he shook his head. He was certain that what he saw was a part of his forgotten memories. He could even remember what happened afterward, he was picked up by some passing fishermen and sent to an aid center. After he woke up, he didn’t remember anything, he just knew his surname was Li. Someone from the aid center checked for his background but found nothing. They didn’t even find his birth record, so they could only send him to an orphanage. Later, he was adopted, then got lost and trafficked, he drifted to many places until he finally met Lu Shang again.

Leung ZiRui poured him a glass of water, he waited patiently for him to calm down. In case of any residue medicine left, Leung ZiRui also checked Li Sui’s blood pressure along with doing other tests.

“We already know the safe dosage. Do feel unwell now?”

Li Sui only shook his head, he was in a bad mood and clearly still immersed in his memories.

“Don’t think so much, eat something good and get some rest, everything will be fine after that.” Leung ZiRui patted his back.

“How much do you know about what happened 17 years ago?” Li Sui raised his head.

Leung ZiRui looked at him in silent, he stared at him for a while, then knew he couldn’t hide it anymore, so he sighed and said, “What do you want to know?”

“My mother is she still alive?”

“When she found you, the cancerous tumor in her lungs had already spread, the bullet went into her lungs. The doctors did all they could have done but……”

“Where is she buried at?”

“At her homeland, as for the exact location, you will have to ask Lu Shang.”

Li Sui lowered his head, he was depressed, “He knew everything but why didn’t he tell me?”

“Li Sui, think about it. Now you know everything, but isn’t that just opening up new injuries? If your brain had chosen to forget all of this, why would Lu Shang actively re-open those wounds? Moreover, you’re different from before, you have him with you now.”

Li Sui didn’t speak, so Leung ZiRui continued, “Back then, I wasn’t in the country, so I only heard of these from my seniors. After you were washed away, they went down shore to search for you. Unfortunately, the rain was too heavy, so they couldn’t find you, they thought you were dead.”

“Lu Shang’s father always felt guilty for not giving Lu Shang a healthy body, so when he knew he was nearing the end of his life, he wanted to use you as a final gift. He didn’t think things would end up like this. Lu Shang’s father also regretted interfering with the course of your life, he gravely affected two lives after all. He was always mindful of what he had done, even at his end, he felt guilty for that.”

“I can’t really say how Lu Shang felt about this but seeing how carefully he treated you seven years ago, I’m guessing that he felt just as guilty as his father, though he never actually said it. Li Sui, you should be very clear what kind of person Lu Shang is. He might be tough on outsiders, but he was always soft on you. I’m sure that he never intended to hurt you, otherwise things won’t be like this now.”

Leung ZiRui sighed, “Maybe this is fate……”

Li Sui quieted down, he never believed in something as intangible as “fate”. However, he also never thought that his life was already so entangled with Lu Shang’s from that long ago. Not to mention how their reunion seven years ago felt so much like something destined to happen.

“Do you need some rest? I can bring you some food.”

“Let me be alone for a while.”

Leung ZiRui looked at him, he knew that nothing more he said was going to be useful. Naturally, Li Sui needed time to process things as he was fed so much information at once. As a doctor, he knew how to deal with diseases, but not with emotional diseases. Even so, Leung ZiRui was not worried. Li Sui was already a full-grown person, he had independent thoughts, and Lu Shang had taught him well. Leung ZiRui was certain that no matter what happened, Li Sui would always remember what he truly wants.

Leung ZiRui left the room to Li Sui, he walked out the door. Outside, Dr. Leon was taking notes, his index finger was tabbing on the notebook.

“How is he?”

“The medicine seemed to have stimulated his memories, he remembered something from his childhood.”

“Really?” Leon was excited, he said, “This is an unexpected turn of events, I must take notes of this.”

Leung ZiRui didn’t answer him, he was taught by Leon, so he knew clearly that a crazy researcher like Leon had a completely different thought process with normal people. Leon probably didn’t understand people’s delicate feelings, he always felt like he only knew how to do scientific investigations.

“Professor,” Leung ZiRui looked lost, he continued, “Medically speaking, are physical conditions really more important than emotional conditions?”

“That depends on how you define them, my child.”

“Three years ago, when I examined Lu Shang’s health condition, I found that almost all of his health parameters were normal. Before that, I really thought that he could at most live for one more year. Though I suspected that it might be due to dopamine, now I do wonder, can a person’s emotions affect one’s illness to a certain degree?”

“Interesting topic. That is just like the placebo effect that we often hear about, in fact, we often see similar cases in clinical trials. People who had end stage cancer miraculously recover or people who were near death had their heartbeat recovered after hearing the calls of loved ones. You need to understand one thing, my dear.”

Leung ZiRui moved his gaze towards him.

“If a person wished with all his might to live, even heavens would eventually give way.”

Li Sui went up to the top floor and let the wind blow on him for a long time, when he emerged in the room again, everything already seemed normal. Lu Shang called him while he was cooling down up on the top floor, after seeing the missed call, his expression didn’t change even a little. He just casually called back with a voice that sounded like nothing happened.

Leung ZiRui was eating his lunchbox as he stared at Li Sui, he was sighing how this person’s acting was almost worthy of going on the Oscars. Leon rushed out of the medical laboratory in a hurry, he went into the men’s washroom. Leung ZiRui suspected that he was in a hurry for smoking or something. As he guessed, after around 15 minutes, Leon walked out looking rejuvenated, even his eyes seemed to be sparkling.

“Professor, you won’t be like that during the surgery, would you?” Leung ZiRui asked with worry.

“Do I look that unreliable?” Leon touched his own beard and said, “You should be worrying about your friend, you guys should prepare yourself mentally. The chance of success of the surgery might be very low.”

Hearing that, Li Sui turned his head over, “What?”

“I tried calculating the success rate. We need to get a part of the vein from the legs for a graft, then find the two healthy end of the coronary artery and replace the diseased section with the vein from the leg. That alone is fine, but we also need to remove an aneurysm, the chance of the aneurysm not bursting during the above procedure is very slim. When the aneurysm burst, the heart will sustain a lot of damage, even I can’t guarantee how the surgery would turn out.”

Li Sui’s hand shook slightly, though he already expected that this surgery wouldn’t be simple, or else Leung ZiRui would have done it already, hearing Leon say it out loud was different, “…… what is the success rate of the surgery.”

Leon shook his head, “From similar surgeries done recently, the success rate of aneurysm removal is less than 10%.”

The room went silent for a few seconds, Li Sui leaned onto the armrest and slowly sat down, his face was pale white.

“Are you…… going to take that chance?”

Li Sui didn’t reply, his shaking hands clenched together and loosened again.

It was obvious that he was hesitating.

10% meant that only one will survive in ten, Li Sui didn’t even want to think about that. If Lu Shang couldn’t hang on through the surgery, how would he be able to face that result. Li Sui was willing to do anything for Lu Shang but he would never be willing to wager on Lu Shang’s life.

“Please wait…… I need more time to think about it.” Li Sui rubbed the bridge of his nose.

It was late at night, the lights in the hallway were dimmed, making the hospital seemed extra quiet.

Li Sui wandered outside the door for a while, but finally decided to enter the laboratory.


Leon was writing something, but when he saw Li Sui came in, he didn’t seem at all surprised, “You’re finally here.”

“You knew I’m going to come here?” Li Sui asked.

Leon laughed a little and said, “So, what do you want to ask me about?”

Li Sui stared at Leon for a while, then he knew that Leon had already guessed what Li Sui’s intentions were, so he decided to ask directly, “I want to know, as a heart donor, what do I need to do in preparation?”

“Is it really necessary for you to commit suicide, kid?”

Li Sui lowered his head, he looked sad, “I can’t let him take the 10%, I want him to live, even if I’m not there.”

Leon didn’t say anything, he stood up after a while and patted Li Sui’s shoulder.

When Li Sui got home, the lights in the bedroom was still on, Lu Shang was rummaging through the bedside drawer. Li Sui glanced at Lu Shang’s slightly swollen eyes and he knew immediately that Lu Shang just vomited. Li Sui asked in a soft voice, “Are you feeling unwell?”

“No, I’m fine. I’m feeling a lot better today.” Lu Shang had his head down, he took out the medicine and put them in his own mouth.

Seeing Lu Shang’s actions made Li Sui feel uneasy, he asked, “Is it bitter?”

Lu Shang shook his head up, he had a light smile on his face. The medicine Leung ZiRui had been prescribing Lu Shang recently had all been bitter medicine, it was torture to something like Lu Shang who hated bitterness so much.

Li Sui walked up and held his hands, he said with a slightly deep voice, “Just wait after winter, then you don’t need to take bitter medicine anymore.”

The next morning, Li Sui went to the hospital for a check-up. Leung ZiRui only felt at ease after reading through the report which showed Li Sui was fine with his own two eyes. He gave Li Sui a bottle of supplements and said, “Here, keep this. If you feel unwell when you get back, you should take one.”

Li Sui was silent, he looked out of it. He just took the bottle and stuffed it in his bag.

Leung ZiRui saw that Li Sui seemed to have a lot on his mind, after thinking for a bit, he asked, “You didn’t tell him last night, did you?”

Li Sui didn’t reply, he just hung his head low and shook his head a bit after a while.

Leung ZiRui was a little shocked, “So you are not going to him at all?”

“For the things in the past, those are in the past. If he doesn’t mention them, I won’t either. You were right, he’s my lover right now and I choose to believe in him. Also… about the surgery, don’t tell him. His health condition is poor recently, I don’t want him to have to overthink things.”

Leung ZiRui didn’t answer his request, Li Sui proceeded to asking, “What plans do professor Leon have? If he doesn’t, I want him to stay in the country.”

“His visa is going to end soon, so he has to go back to extend it. He said if you have a decision, he could come back anytime.”

Li Sui nodded his head, “tomorrow I’ll bring Lu Shang over for a regular check-up.”

Leung ZiRui put his heads in the lab coat pockets and asked, “What? Is his condition that bad?”

“It’s still the same old problems, only that this time it seemed more severe, the duration is longer too. I’m a little worried……”

“Seven years,” Leung ZiRui said with his eyes closed, it seemed like he wasn’t surprised. Leung ZiRui sighed and said, “From when he brought you home, he had postponed the surgery for seven years, that’s already a miracle in his case. His time is reducing with every passing day, you should hurry in making a decision.”

Li Sui lowered his eyes and left.

Previous Chapter
Next Chapter


We are a group that translates Japanese Yaoi manga and Chinese BL novels. Remember to comment on our chapters or leave a review and rating on Novel Updates, it encourages us!


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

11 Tell us your thoughts on the chapter.
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
September 12, 2019 5:52 pm

Thank you for the chapter.
wahhh Li Sui 😢😢

September 12, 2019 6:07 pm

Aww. This is heartwrenching. 😣 Imagine being in LSui shoes. It’s very difficult to make a decision. I’m still holding on to that happy ending🤞🤞🖤.

September 12, 2019 7:53 pm

thanks for the double updates.
Li Sui really have it though these last few days, with his memory emerges, and decision he have to make… *hugs*

September 12, 2019 10:29 pm

thank you

September 12, 2019 10:40 pm

We are nearing a very very emotional conclusion. I can tell that I’m going to cry when it comes and curse any possible cliffhangers, but still be very grateful for more chapters. I really want a happy ending for them, because they both lived through so much and they deserve it!

Thank you for the chapter!!!

September 12, 2019 10:56 pm

The only thing sustaining me is the HE.
Thank you for the chapters!

September 13, 2019 3:37 am

😭😭get well soon lu shang 🙏 see li sui your husband loves u sosoo much😑😑

Audry Gazali
Audry Gazali
September 13, 2019 4:56 am

Thank you for updating 2 chapters directly. Lu Shang said “If I wake up with your heart in me, the first thing I’ll do is to wrip my heart out”. But I think Li Sui knows, Lu Shang would not be able to do that since if he is alive means he lives for Li Sui too.

September 15, 2019 1:52 am

Thank you for the update! I don’t know how moral ethics work for Chinese doctors. If I were a doctor, I will not perform heart transplant for a totally healthy person unless both receiver and donor have given consent after conscious deliberation. I mean, I will be the one cutting open Li Sui’s chest and taking out his heart, knowing fully well that I’m killing this person under my knife. I at least will like to know that at least Lu Shang has been informed beforehand and agreed to live on happy and healthy. What if Lu Shang cannot synchronize… Read more »

March 18, 2021 2:20 pm

They need to discuss the surgery.
I think it a little selfish if he gives up his own life to save LS, if just because he doesn’t think he can live without him. How does he think LS would feel about losing Li Sui, knowing it was so he could have his heart? It’s too cruel.
Please go with surgery and let it be successful.
Thank you for translating.

Please help us keep the site AD-Free!

error: Content is protected !!
%d bloggers like this: