Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations
Editor: KarateChopMonkey
“Don’t – what do I need a ball for? We dragons are born to hate balls.” The Golden Dragon snorted disdainfully, and turned its head away proudly, apparently not buying the elf’s story in the slightest. “We Chinese dragons have known for generations – the last flesh ball in recorded history, which, after being cut open, had a little kid in a bib inside, stepping on two wheels on fire, usually loves to smash the Dragon King’s temple to draw dragon tendons to play. We have passed down so many generations, the survival purpose is to cherish life, away from balls…”
“…” The elf turned his head to look at the blood-sucking ball, lost his last hope and finally completely abandoned his reason. With hot tears pouring down his face, he pounced in front of the vampire, wrenching his shoulders and shaking him desperately. “Quickly carry your Chips out, tell him to hurry up and give this ball a cure ah ah ah!!!”
“Well, well, Lord Apostle – your voice has turned into a substantial exclamation point.” Caught off guard by the sound waves attacking his eardrums, the vampire with extremely sensitive hearing couldn’t help but rub his ears and take off the exclamation marks floating in mid-air one by one. “Dear Apostle, please forgive me for being equally unable to meet your request. He is a rebel of the blood race and has some personal grudge against me, so please forgive me for not being able to hand him over to anyone until I have cleared things up with him—”
The refusal was not finished when an unfamiliar voice suddenly interrupted, “Are you the legendary elf who sings out of tune?”
The crowd subconsciously looked up and saw a middle-aged man in a suit standing by the railing on the second floor with a pair of expensive gold-rimmed glasses on his face. A body with an elite temperament that was alien to others, even his hair was combed meticulously.
“I’ve always heard that the An family has a little elf who can’t even sing well. Anyone who can survive his song will be safely crowned a demon king.”
Feeling another sharp blow to the soul, An MuXi angrily snapped, “Nonsense! Chips went to KTV with me so many times, but also survived until now!”
After proudly citing a strong counter-example, he was shoved back into the sofa by the half-blood husky, and received a sympathetic hug, “Elf, who gave you the illusion that Doctor Shang is not a demon king?”
“He— I—” The desperate elf was speechless for a moment, blinked helplessly, looked around at the crowd of non-human creatures who nodded their heads with deep feeling, then sat back resentfully, “Well, the structure of his brain and normal people may be a little different…”
“We can discuss Doctor Shang’s matter later, I am here to guide you to another clear path.” The man pushed up his glasses, elegantly nodded slightly and looked down at the young elf below, “First of all, please allow me to introduce myself, my name is Yan Maifan. I am a celestial master, currently serving in the Traditional Culture Bureau of the Chinese branch of the Special Agency – have you ever heard of Chinese spells? “
“Chinese spells…” The elf blinked blankly and subconsciously shook his head, “Is that the one – Oh Mamali Mamali thing?”
“That is the Buddha’s six true words, the correct reading is ‘Om Ma Ni Pad Me Hum’, and is currently classified as a Sanskrit system. The requirements for the use of Buddhist true words are relatively stringent, the person casting the mantra must be vegetarian, bald and pious at heart, and based on the aroma of cassoulet chicken emanating from the takeaway in your hand, I think you probably can’t meet this requirement.”
Yan Maifan calmly held up his glasses, took out a yellow piece of talisman paper from his suit pocket, folded it twice and held it between his fingers. With a flick towards him, the talisman paper flew straight towards the elf. “This is an offensive talisman, memorize the contents of the above, and try the effect a few more times in an unoccupied place. According to your ability and talent, you should be able to use the effectiveness of the spell to a considerable extent and you will not be limited by your singing ability.”
“Five thunder fighters, train generals, soaring to the ground, driving thunder and clouds, fighting tens of thousands, commanding the magical soldiers, calling out the flags……” 1 After reading the first half of the sentence with difficulty, the elf who had never gotten ninety points on the language test clutched his head in pain and fell backwards into the sofa with breathlessness, “It’s because of these terrible ancient texts that I firmly choose science subjects…”
“If you can successfully pass the vocal grade three, even if you choose nothing, your family will still be proud of you – I’m just giving you a new direction. It’s up to you to decide whether you want to try or not.” The elite celestial master responded in an unhurried and faint voice. With a subdued arch towards him, and without waiting for his response, he turned and walked back to his room.
Suddenly inspired by the endless motivation, An MuXi fiercely covered his chest. There were a number of small clusters of golden stars that emerged from his eyes, “So cool… I’ve decided! I want to learn Chinese spells too, I want to be a heavenly master too!”
The two little dragons cheered and rose up in the air, scrambling to chase those little stars, about to pounce on them with bite to swallow them, the larger fire dragon inexorably wrapped the two into his arms, “No, no, no more eating – in case you two are also affected and sing out of tune, the future dragon chant will not be passed down…”
“Being out of tune is nothing! I’ll be unbeatable! I have found a new way out, I want to become the king of the elven world by using rap!” As if he has seen himself learn the Chinese incantation, smoothly subdue the demons to kill the four directions, the elf laughed out loud three times in triumph, put the talisman paper into his pocket in a precious place, and arched his hand decently towards the various races in the hall, “Everyone, wait for the good news of my victory!”
“This is really – the pale sky…” Dumbfounded at the dumb elf who laughed out the door, He JiaLun could not help but shake his head resentfully, sat down on his butt in the sofa, and poked the humming blood-sucking ball twice, “TianShi Yan’s level of brainwashing is really getting more and more powerful… What would be the effect if the elf shouted out ‘command as law’ when the time came?”
“That scene must be amazing – we also have to pray to God for forgiveness on his behalf first.” The vampire sighed in a worried manner and drew a cross on his chest again in a serious manner.
Stunned at his action, the werewolf blinked unbelievably and waved his hand in front of him, “Maybe I’m misremembering… but aren’t you a God-forsaken race?”
“That’s right, so I’m just praying casually, and God probably won’t hear it anyway.” Wei Long nodded frankly, justified his reply, and picked up the remaining several takeaways before moving towards the stairs, “I’m going to send food to Doctor Shang – please help me to watch this ball. I have some questions to ask him personally later.”
The blood gang’s noble young master was cursed without teeth, and because of accidentally biting a mixed blood succubus, he was swollen into a ball. Neglected for so long, watching their own duck blood vermicelli soup be privately swallowed, Wayne Loki’s anger finally completely erupted. Slurring in anger, he leapt off the sofa and swooped and bounced in the direction of Wei Long, “Motha futha! Thath my duth blood vermithelli soup!”
“How about it, want another bite?”
The thunderous momentum came to an abrupt halt when he saw the person in front of him, and the blood-sucking ball skittered around twice in the air before plunging into the couch at a faster speed than he had come, “Damn human – geth away from me! Sthay away from me, don’th touth me!”
Successfully provoked once again by food, the human doctor held the stair railing to stand firm, a piece of clothing draped over his shoulders as he stood in front of the vampire. He nodded solemnly, “I know that allergies may trigger edema, but I did not expect – that a vampire would swell so much…”
The blood in Wei Long’s eyes gradually receded, looking at the human doctor who finally spoke a bold idea, his eyes took on a helpless smile. The arm that protected him also retracted without a trace, wrapped around the waist and back of his doctor, and assisted him to walk slowly down the stairs.
“Honey, why did you suddenly come out – is there something wrong?”
“I drank too much water and came out to use the toilet. I heard MuXi’s deranged laughter, so I listened to the situation a little – I’ve never seen that Mr. Yan before, but he looks very dignified. Does he actually live here too?” Although he felt fine, when he got out of bed and walked to the stairway, the familiar vertigo found him again. Shang HaoJia also no longer tried to be strong, and used his vampire as half support half to get down the stairs but curiously asked his question.
“In fact, he is actually a special commissioner sent by the Special Agency to secretly supervise me. Only he has always been fascinated with the study of spell theory, so he revealed his identity with me early and has been here to continue his research.” Wei Long thoughtfully poured him a cup of tea and opened the cassoulet he had been longing for, “In fact, you two are not complete strangers – he made the pie that was served to you earlier.”
“Right, I remember – that pie tasted pretty good.” Shang HaoJia nodded, broke the chopsticks and took a piece of potato, then smiled and knocked the blood-sucking ball that kept humming, “It’s almost done. An allergic reaction will not take long to go away on its own, you do not want to be struck crazy because of this…”
“You acthually use thaps, too mithed up!” The bloodsucking ball bounced twice in anger, apparently not listening to a single word. But he firmly regarded the appearance of the mixed blood succubus, and looked around at this group of scheming forces with righteous indignation, “I’m very angry – I’m angry!”
So funny! I loved how the vampire that has an allergic reaction is so upset lol the elf is something else and so is Mr Yan who was sent to supervise the vampire secretly but revealed himself so he could continue his spell research lol
Thith ith hilarious. Serves Loki right!
What a cosmopolitan group they’re becoming.
Is there any spiritual being in this story without a health condition or a screw loose in the head? Of course not. Where would the fun be in that 😉