Previous Chapter
Next Chapter
11 min read

Chapter 3: You are not allowed to eat the wild insects on the road 

Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: Kuneho/Kate/UA

A little girl in a primary school uniform rushed over from the side of the road and stopped in front of the taxi. The driver was scared into a cold sweat. The taxi came to a sudden stop as passengers crashed on the back of the seats.

“Can’t you look at the traffic lights, kid?” The driver’s heart was beating too fast. At this time, he did not have a good temper.

“My silkworm baby!” The little girl hurriedly came to open the back door, saw the little naked man’s pitiful expression and cried, “Are you okay, baby?”

Driver: …

Xie Guanze, “Can silkworms also become human beings?”

The little girl also brought her own dress. Frightened by the parrot, the silkworm did not dare to change back into its original shape. In the taxi, he put on the little girl’s dress and hid behind her as soon as he got out of the car.

Xie King, who failed in the hunt, was sad, “Hmph, wearing women’s clothes.”

“I don’t have any clothes for boys at home.” Looking at Xie King’s unfriendly face, the little girl was also frightened and stepped back, but she protected the silkworm baby behind her. She whispered, “This is Either: The only silkworm that Or: one of the silkworms that I raise. He told me that he wanted to taste other leaves, so I brought him outside.”

Xie Guanze couldn’t help crying and laughing, “It’s okay to change into a person, little friend. Remember to go back and tell your parents to register with the police station. After that, there will be pets with names and surnames. Don’t worry about being eaten by other pets.”

“Really?” The little girl smiled, “Okay, I’ll go back and tell Mom and Dad.”

Then she waved at them and led the silkworm baby to the neighborhood along the road as they lived by the road.

The driver’s expression was stunned, and he entered the Buddhist mentality, “Can we go on the road?”

Xie Guanze was embarrassed and said, “Cough. It’s okay, sorry to trouble you.”

“All right.” The driver’s heart was still palpitating. “Fortunately, my family doesn’t have a pet…”

This time, it was Xie Guanze’s turn to teach Xie King, Fu Wentu and Sparta a lesson.

“You are not allowed to eat wild insects on the road.”

Xie King, “Hmph!”

When the four finally arrived at the police station where Xie Guanze worked, the two worried humans had been soaked in cold sweat as soon as they got out of the taxi. The driver took the money and drove away as fast as he could. No one knew what kind of psychological burden the drive had left him with.

There were green shrubs at the entrance of the police station. Sparta sniffed, squatted on the ground, sniffed again and stuck out his tongue…

Fu Wentu became hysterical and grabbed the back of Sparta’s collar, “Sparta!”

“Woof woof, a smelly little bitch was here!” Sparta tried to stick out his tongue and was very excited, “Master, spring! My spring is coming!”

“If spring is coming, you should go to the vet and get neutered,” Fu Wentu said mercilessly.

“Woof….” Sparta wilted.

Xie Guanze looked at Xie King helplessly. Xie King was also interested in the bushes; his head was buried in them and he was eager to find worms to eat. Xie Guanze grabbed the back of Xie King’s collar and dragged him into the police station.

What else can we do with our pets? Let’s teach them slowly…

On the news and on the mobile phone, the government pushed the information that told the residents to bring their original pet cards and registered accounts to the police station. When Xie Guanze went in, almost all residents were there. As you can imagine, everyone’s family was a mess.

While his colleagues were still busy, Xie Guanze first dealt with the settlement problem for himself and Fu Wentu’s pet.

Xie Guanze first took out the pet card that he used for his parrot, inspected the information on the pet card in detail, and prepared to follow the steps to fill in the new information in the new format set out.

Pet Card:

Breed: Big White Cockatoo.

Color: White.

Gender: Male.

Name: Snow King.

License No.: XXXXXXXXXX.

Name of owner: Xie Guanze.

Tel: 190xxxxxxxx.

Current address: No.202, unit 2, Wutongyuan, Fenghuang community.

 

Change to Pet Household Registration:

Name: Xie King.

Birth Address: No.202, unit 2, Wutongyuan, Fenghuang community.

Race: Bird.

Breed: Big White Cockatoo.

Gender: Male.

Date of birth: June 1st, 2017.

Head of household: Xie Guanze.

Relationship with the head of household: Pet.

ID card No.: XXXXXXXXXX.

Telephone # of head of household: 190xxxxxxxx.

Current address: No.202, unit 2, Wutongyuan, Fenghuang community.

Xie King was hatched from an egg while Xie Guanze’s parents were still there, so the place of birth was still his current address. It was okay to write his pet name. When filling in the household registration name, Xie Guanze looked at those three words and felt hot.

“Will you consider changing your name?” Xie King, it was a shameful name…

“I want to buy a mobile phone,” Xie King said, staring at the phone number on his household register.

Xie Guanze wanted to try to change his name. “Or we can call you Xie Wangze. Then we will look like brothers.”

Xie King, “I want to buy a mobile phone.”

Xie Guanze: ……

I can’t be angry. He’s only five years old. He’s five years old…

“Okay, I’ll buy it for you after work.”

According to the new documents issued by his captain, the pet owner would settle down in the owner’s household register to facilitate the management of the new race. Xie Guanze naturally had no opinion on this. He had just become an adult. Pets didn’t have a lot of common sense about society, they needed the guidance of their owners to register in the same household register, as if they had become real family members.

In addition, Xie Guanze still had some concerns, such as the pets in the news that yearned to leave home freely after transforming, and the pets that were actively abandoned by their owners. If they were by themselves, how would they register?

Xie Guanze felt deeply concerned. As he thought about it, he printed out Xie King’s household registration form, stuffed it into his household registration book, and smiled with satisfaction when he saw that there was another member in the thin household registration book.

He was no longer alone at last.

Looking up, Xie King even looked back and laughed. Xie Guanze’s heart moved; Xie King was hatched by Xie’s father in an incubator. It was Xie’s father who saw him the moment his shell broke open. By this logic, Xie Guanze’s father was also Xie King’s father.

So, they were brothers.

Xie Guanze said with a smile, “Brother, please give me more advice later.”

Xie King, “Hmph!”

His attitude was haughty, but his eyes were smiling. With Xie Guanze’s understanding of Xie King, he knew he was secretly having fun in his heart.

“Come here, Xie King. Come here and take a registration photo. You will get a new ID card in three days. Here we are!”

When the atmosphere was destroyed, Xie King’s face collapsed, he roared fiercely and walked into the camera room unhappily.

Xie Guanze laughingly found that Xie King’s hair, which had been down when smiling, was standing up again. Thinking about how his hairstyle might look on an ID photo, Xie Guanze couldn’t help laughing.

A child with an IQ of only five years old couldn’t understand.

Xie Guanze shook his head with a smirk and called out to Fu Wentu and his malamute: “Sparta, come and register.”

“Woof, woof!” The Alaskan malamute was still alive and he was an oopsie puppy.

The owner of Sparta’s mother thought that her neighbor’s dog was a rural thing of little value, so she let the two mate unknowingly. Fu Wentu had always been worried about whether the puppy would grow up under the influence of his father’s rural dog genes and specially named him Sparta, hoping that he would be as powerful and domineering as Spartan warriors.

Then Sparta grew bigger and bigger. The bigger he was, the more he exceeded the size of a regular Alaskan Malamute. He was the only large white dog in the community, a gigantic dog.

The gigantic dog was 1.9 meters (6ft 2) after obtaining human form. He had white hair and black eyes, was tall in appearance, but still had his canine nature. He tried shrinking his height for the pictures, which gave him a face of despair in the pictures.

“Sparta, stand up.”

A man of 1.9 meters was whacked on his shoulder. There’s a kind of weight that life cannot bear. Sparta’s face was glum, “Woof, hungry, unable to stand.”

“You’ll get a bowl of spare ribs,” he said.

“Woof!”

He stood up straight.

Xie Guanze laughed: He was really easy to coax.

As time went on, more and more people came to register voluntarily, which was just the initial work. After the completion of this batch, for those who did not take the initiative to register, Xie Guanze needed to go door to door with colleagues to collect information, in order to eliminate the uneasy factors.

After all, not every pet had a kind attitude towards its owner. Not every pet could turn into a human. They had met pets that were still animal-like on the road. At present, the factor for turning into a human had not been determined.

Registration and settlement was only the first census.

Nowadays, the registration of pets was very common. Xie Guanze had seen the inclusive variety of creatures in the process of registration. But it wasn’t until they became human that he became more aware of the diversity of living beings.

His poor sergeant came with his monkey, “Scholar.”

His sergeant, Hou Fanghua, was fond of traditional Chinese paintings and he liked to draw monkeys the best. He thought that male monkeys circled their territory too aggressively. So, near his retirement, he especially raised a female monkey.

He once asked the monkey and his grandson Hou Che to ‘seize the week’ together. The grandson grabbed the monkey’s peach and painted it with saliva. The monkey grabbed a Book of Songs. Hou Fanghua was shocked by the monkey. He said that if she was a human being, she would be a scholar.

After that, Hou Che, who grabbed the peach, was nicknamed ‘Monkey’ and the monkey was nicknamed ‘Scholar.’ Xie Guanze saw that Hou Fanghua registered the monkey’s nickname as ‘Hou Xiucai.’ 1

His sergeant also worked hard. Until now, he was still looking forward to the monkey’s entrance examination.

Looking at Hou Xiucai’s rebellious face, Xie Guanze silently wept for his old sargeant: in this case, the dream won’t be realized.

Over there, Hou Xiucai was bullying the grandson of his Sergeant. Hou Che’s face was full of suffocation. “I’m your grandfather’s daughter. I’m your father’s sister. Do you know what that means?”

Hou Xiucai had beautiful, short blonde hair. She combed it back to show her heroic and smart features. At first sight, she couldn’t be distinguished between male and female. She had her arm around Hou Che’s shoulders and smiled to justify their names, “Hey boy, you have to call me aunt according to generations.”

Hou Che, a junior high school student in the rebellious period of youth, had a bad expression, “Nonsense.”

Even if she was only ‘Auntie’ by seniority, he wouldn’t want to call her auntie, hmph!

Hou Xiucai smiled: “Hey, I saw a magazine hidden under your bed. The cover was a female human with few clothes…”

Hou Che was shocked and lost color. He took a careful look at his grandfather and quickly changed his words, “Auntie.”

Sergeant Hou was very satisfied to see the intimate attitude of his grandson and pet after handling the formalities. “What are you talking about?”

“Talking about school.” Hou Xiucai hugged Hou Che’s shoulder and smiled, “I plan to go to school with Monkey.”

“Good!” Sergeant Hou’s eyes were shining. Was his monkey really going to be a scholar?

Hou Che had a bad premonition, “Grandpa, wait, she’s a monkey. How can she go to school?”

“Isn’t there a primary school department in your school, start her from primary school!” Sergeant Hou clapped, “That’s it. I’ll find other ways!”

Hou Che: ….

“Hou Xiucai, take a picture! Here we are!”

When Hou Xiucai went to the studio, she turned her head and grinned at Hou Che. He suddenly felt that his future academic career will be facing a huge crisis…

There were more and more people. Xie Guanze looked down all day and was busy making his neck sore. When he looked up and rubbed the back of his neck, he felt more hands helping to massage him.

Looking back, Xie Guanze saw Xie King.

“What are you looking at? It’s not good to itch.”

Xie Guanze, “Oh, it wasn’t itching. My neck is sore.”

“Well, if you weren’t itching, I don’t care.”

For Xie King’s answer, Xie Guanze ignored him directly.

He was worthy of being a bird, his naughty beak was a racial talent.

Previous Chapter
Next Chapter

Translator Notes:

  1. Xiucai is a title awarded to graduates of the respective examination in the system created during the Sui and Tang periods

exiledrebelsscanlations

We are a group that translates Japanese Yaoi manga and Chinese BL novels. Remember to comment on our chapters or leave a review and rating on Novel Updates, it encourages us!

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

7 Tell us your thoughts on the chapter.
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Karai
Karai
September 30, 2020 11:10 pm

Poor kid, with this kind of ‘aunty’ his future really looks bleak. Oh, and Xie King is actually paying attention to his owner. 🤣😆
Thank you for the chapter!!!

Minnie ford
Minnie ford
October 1, 2020 12:37 am

Xie kings a good boy he listened thank you

red
red
October 1, 2020 8:04 pm

Thank you for the chapter!

Spkaudi
October 24, 2020 12:39 pm

🤣😂 Thank you! Thank you! 😂🤣

Aleksandra Jovanović
Aleksandra Jovanović
December 6, 2020 3:17 am

ahahahaha…. Thank you ! Thank you ! This is going to be fun !!

Aleckincaid
Aleckincaid
January 30, 2022 2:34 am

XK is still kind to his owner XGZ😍😍😍

Sue R
Sue R
April 4, 2022 3:47 pm

This hilarious. 😆😆😆 Thank you for make the wording so funny.

Read our latest novel; He and It!

X
error: Content is protected !!