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Chapter 47: Seduction (Part 1)
Translated by Rui
There’s a professional way of seducing someone, you know?
“Isn’t delivering ice cream too childish?” Feisha held the ice cream cup and angrily glared at the conspirator.
Gin slowly plucked the rose out his mouth, shook his fingers and said, “Do you know the difference between a pro and an amateur? It lies in the fact that pros can always turn the foul and rotten into the rare and ethereal whereas amateurs will always turn strength into a pile of soggy paste.”
Feisha exclaimed in shock, “Have you also watched ‘Return of the Pearl princess’?” He never knew a fan who was a vampire was part of the drama’s wide circulation.
Gin used the rose to gently sweep across his own lips, “The purpose of my existence is to constantly find the true essence and way of love.”
“….” Feisha replied, “So, is it possible for me to be suspicious that you never wanted to help Isefel find some kind of love in the first place. You actually just wanted to use me as a lab rat for your own experiment, didn’t you?”
Gin’s expression was very magnamious, “I prefer to call it… research.”
Feisha blankly stared at him for a second before he forcefully put the ice cream back into the other’s hand and gently said, “Be good, your bro here has his ID now, so I ain’t ‘playing house’ with you anymore. You can go find Hughes to play with you.”
Feisha continued, “And also, play should be reserved for play time. Remember to eat dinner. Eating too much ice cream isn’t good for you because it causes diarrhea.”
When Feisha had finished educating him sternly and was turning around ready to leave, a red rose swiftly slanted into his vision. The thorns on the stem were as sharp as Gin’s fangs.
“Can I ask you a question?” Feisha stopped in his tracks and looked seriously at the owner of the flower.
“When you bit down on the flower just then, didn’t you feel the thorns?”
Gin was temporarily at a loss, “I did feel them.”
“Wasn’t it painful?”
“But,” Gin affectionately gazed at the red rose in his hand, “How could I possibly retreat in the face of burning love?”
Feisha inspected him closely and found marks made by flower thorns on his lips. “Can’t you just clip the thorns off the flower before you bite it next time?”
Gin became dumbfounded.
“Or wrap something around the outside of the flower stem?”
Feisha patted his shoulder and sighed, “You should really consider it.”
A flash of light flashed in Gin’s eyes and he suddenly grabbed ahold of Feisha who was just about to sneak away, “Hahaha, do you think I’m stupid enough to just let you leave?”
“Hahaha, I also just wanted to do a little experiment.”
Gin froze the ice cream again and placed it in the other’s hand, “Remember, the key point in delivering ice cream is not the ice cream itself but rather the spoon.”
Feisha plucked out the spoon that was stuck in the ice cream and inspected it from left to right multiple times, “It’s made out of gold?”
“It is indeed made out of gold.” Gin rolled his eyes and continued, “However, that’s not the main point. The key thing is that you must personally use the spoon to feed the ice cream to him. And after he’s finished eating, you must slowly place the spoon into your own mouth before taking your time and using your tongue to lick it. When you’re licking, your eyes must be staring directly at his as you shoot him enticing gazes.”
So in conclusion it was to make it as lewd as possible!
Feisha stuffed the ice cream back into the other’s hand before unbuttoning the top two buttons of his shirt, “You can bite me to death.”
Gin shook his head, “I won’t bite you to death.”
‘I knew you were strong on the outside and weak on the inside,’ Feisha thought as he haughtily did his buttons up again.
“I’m going to bite you everywhere.”
Beside the dark blue swimming pool, two figures furtively proceeded forward as they tried to cover each other up.
Gin watched Feisha’s eyeballs roaming hectically around and urged him again, “Do you remember the steps? If you have anything you’re unsure about ask now at this very moment, you won’t get another chance to in a second. You must remember the spoon, you have to remember the spoon! That’s the key point!”
Feisha turned his head to look at him. He felt like he had returned to the year of his university entrance exams. His mom stood in front of the exam hall holding a book as she instructed him to remember this paragraph, that sentence, and those phrases because she heard that they had been tested last year, the year before and the year before that year too. You must remember! That’s a key point!
“I want to go home and eat braised pork loin.” Feisha was immersed in his memories. Back then, no matter how big or small the test was, after every single one, his mom would make braised pork loin for him to eat. It happened so often that he never ate braised pork loin again after he started working. That was because every time he saw the dish he would think back to when the exam scores were given back and his bottom became pretty much the same color as the braised pork.
Gin didn’t know about this dilemma and so he very boldly patted his chest and said, “No problem. As long as you can get a date with Isefel, I will prepare you two a candlelight dinner with braised pork loin and red wine!”
Braised pork loin? Red wine? Feisha’s reaction was one of shock, “How do you know that this combination is tasty?”
Gin replied, “I’ll know after you guys finish eating.”
The door to Isefel’s room suddenly opened.
Feisha’s heart skipped a beat and he instantly pushed Gin to one side.
Gin answered by diving into the water.
Feisha stood before the door and prepared himself for battle.
After waiting for quite a while, the door was still only half open yet there were no sounds of movement inside.
A splash of water sounded. Gin poked his wet head out of the water and anxiously looked at him, “Is he here? Is he here?”
Feisha suddenly nervously cried out, “He’s coming.”
Gin ducked back down into the water with a splash.
Moments later Feisha sighed, “It doesn’t seem like it’s him…”
Gin once again carefully poked his head out.
“Ah!” Feisha suddenly shrilled.
Gin swiftly disappeared from sight.
Feisha said, “There’s a fly.”
“…” Gin angrily resurfaced, “You really are….”
“Ah!” Feisha quickly turned around.
“Do you think I would fall for the same trick a second time?” He coldly hummed and turned his head. His gaze just so happened to meet that of Isefel’s.
The atmosphere stagnated for approximately three seconds.
Gin sported a huge smile on his face and calmly greeted the other person from within the water, “Haha, what a coincidence, who would’ve thought I would meet you in a place like this?”
Feisha ferociously glared down at him through the corner of his eyes. There were so many excuses you could use to smooth over a bad situation, did you just have to choose the worst one of them all?
Isefel’s gaze shifted onto Feisha’s face.
Feisha instantly presented him with the ice cream and asked in a fawning manner, “Would you like to eat the spoon?”
“…” Gin was too lazy to even ridicule him.
Isefel looked at him blankly and then took half a step back before shutting the door.
As soon as the door closed, Feisha instantly began to run. Gin rushed out from the pool and started chasing after him whilst shaking off the water. He babbled loudly, “You ‘spoon eater’. You ‘spoon eater’!”
Feisha ran as he shouted back, “You ‘what a coincidence’…. ‘Coincidence’!” Because it was too tiring to run, his language was quite simple.
After running past the tenth floor, Gin suddenly remembered that he was a vampire and instantly shifted into a bat and flew in front of the other person.
Feisha instantly halted his steps as a spark of light flashed in his eyes.
Gin shifted back into a human.
Feisha was greatly disappointed, “I thought I could finally get Antonio to make fruit bat soup for me to try.”
Since he could only work for free ever since he arrived at Noah’s Ark, then it should be reasonable that he could indulge himself in the art of food and try delicacies that were very hard to come across in the mortal world.
The sides of Gin’s mouth twitched, “Antonio knows how to make fruit bat soup?”
Feisha wiped away his saliva and replied, “He said that he would make it if I caught a bat.”
Gin said, “There seems to be only one creature that can be labelled a ‘bat’ on Noah’s Ark.”
Feisha became excited, “Where?”
“In front of you.”
Feisha gave him the elevators and sighed, “Why are you so small when you shift into a bat?” It’s not even enough for him to fill the gaps between his teeth.
The ice cream plan failed. Gin blamed the failure on insufficient preparation and over simplistic props.
Feisha stood aghast as he watched him drag a huge tent over across a very long distance, “This…”
“A love affair, must explode in a place where such love can come into existence!” Gin clenched his fist. This was the only way that his huge spendings from Layton will not be in vain.
Feisha was stupefied, “Under what conditions will Isefel crawl into this place where a love affair can happen?”
Gin stroked his chin, “That is indeed a problem.”
Three hours later.
Gin said to Feisha, who had already been to and from the kitchen three times and had finished seven to eight plates of food, “Can’t you think of a solution with me?”
Feisha rolled his eyes at him, “Do I look like someone who would help count the earnings of the person who sold me in the first place?”
Gin raised his brow, “Do you dare swear that you’ve never had any thoughts about Isefel?”
“Of course I’ve had thoughts about him.” Feisha casually pecked his fingers, “When he said that accommodation fees were two thousand dollars and meal costs were three thousand, I had a strong thought of wanting to choke him to death.”
“When he said that I couldn’t take my earnings here away with me, I had a thought of wanting to choke him back to life and then choke him back to death again.”
“When he told me that I would have to fill my hunger by drinking the northwest wind if I had five thousand dollars deducted from my pay…” Feisha paused.
Gin asked, “What?”
“I had the thought of just ending it and choking myself to death.”
Gin knitted his brows together, “So you don’t have any thoughts about his body?”
Feisha’s mind couldn’t help but conjure the image of Isefel’s six pack.
Gin’s furrowed eyebrows gradually relaxed as Feisha’s face became more and more red, “Hehe, so you don’t have any thoughts about his face?”
Isefel’s perfect face then surfaced in Feisha’s mind.
Gin continued, “He’s the executive manager of Noah’s Ark, God’s ex-favorite and Sir Lucifer’s most favored general. Don’t you have any thoughts about his status?”
Feisha’s mind was instantly filled with numerous beams of gold light.
Gin suddenly shouted, “Confess! Have you had any thoughts?!”
Feisha got a fright and instantly nodded.
“What thoughts?” Gin stared at him full of excitement.
Feisha sighed, “It would be so much better if only I was Isefel.”
Gin: “….” He changed his tone, “Do you still remember what I threatened you with?”
Feisha sulkingly replied, “You would sing folk songs outside my door every night in a Bel Canto opera style and bite me everywhere…. Wait wait wait.”
Gin continued, “It’s good that you remember. We shall now discuss the tent problem. Do you have any good suggestions?”
“Have a good recap of the things I threatened to do before answering me again.”
“Do you have any good suggestions?”
Feisha sighed, “Hold a bonfire evening party at the front desk under the name of a meritorious reward for hotel staff.”
“Okay.” Gin listened carefully.
“Then it just so happens to be that there aren’t enough tents.”
“Okay okay.” Gin could now faintly grasp the idea.
“Two people squish into one tent”
“Okay okay okay.” Gin’s eyes were so squinted there was only a small slit visible.
Feisha looked at Gin who had a face of anticipation and speechlessly thought: ‘It’s just sleeping overnight in a tent, we’re not feeding him an aphrodisiac. It’s not going to work at all.’
Gin suddenly pulled out a small bottle from his pocket.
Feisha instantly had a bad feeling, “What’s that?”
Gin coldly laughed, “In a love affair ace kill package, it is often sold together with a tent.”
Feisha’s bad feeling grew worse.
“And that is…. aphrodisiac.”
Feisha became completely speechless.
Other than staff applying for annual leave to go home, Noah’s Ark had never organised a meritorious event for its workers. That’s why, even though the event location was very casual with simple facilities and a really weird theme, it still received a certain level of welcome and praise.
Layton said, “Haha, if it wasn’t for Gin asking to buy a tent, I wouldn’t have known that tents were useful too.”
Asa complained, “The tent’s too small, my knees will stick out.”
Layton replied, “The one I gave you is already the XXL size.”
Asa asked, “What measurements did you go by when you made these?”
Layton answered, “Triple my height.”
Asa was speechless, “…”
Hughes said, “Gin is so smart. It’s really fun sleeping in a tent.”
Gin replied, “Jokes aside, you better not go crazily crawling in and out of tents.”
Hughes instantly gazed at him with teary eyes, “But tents are only fun when you crawl in and out of them.”
“…” Gin took out a marker, “I think I should draw a few signs on your back.”
Shamal was very excited, “I never knew I would ever use tents on Noah’s Ark.”
“Antonio, do you want to come have a lie down first? Even though it’s not as spacious and comfortable as the ones back in fairy world, it’s still pretty interesting.”
Antonio uttered, “The wolves provide the fairy world with ten thousand tents every year.”
“…” Shamal suddenly pointed to the roast meat in his hand and exclaimed, “Woah, your roast meat is so delicious!”
Antonio explained, “That’s high-fat meat. I used the oil it secreted from being baked as seasoning.”
Feisha looked at Isefel who was sitting silently to the side and reading and started to strike up a conversation, “Haha, you seem to really like reading books.”
Isefel hummed in affirmation, “Mmhmm.”
Feisha scooted over and said, “What book are you reading?”
“The meaning of live and death.”
Feisha asked, “So what is the meaning then?”
Isefel replied, “You only know after you die.”
Feisha was dumbfounded, “Huh?”
“Because one can only come to a conclusion after one completes the task.”
“After you complete the task?” Feisha’s eyes couldn’t help but glance sideways at the tent behind him.
The entrance to the tent was an upside down V shape. For some unknown reason, he suddenly felt as though the upside down V resembled an anatomical picture of someone waiting for something with their legs spread open.
Isefel handed him a handkerchief.
“You’ve got a bloody nose.”
 化力气为浆糊 (Hua Li Qi Wei Jiang Hu)
This phrase came out of the famous Chinese drama, ‘The Return of the Pearl Princess’. The actual phrase is 化戾气为祥和 (Hua Li Qi Wei Xiang He) which means ’turn hostility into harmony’. However, when QianLong said 化戾气为祥和 to Xiao YanZi, she misheard and thought the other said 化力气为浆糊 (turn strength into a pile of soggy paste). Xiao YanZi got mad and replied, “How could I turn my strength into a pile of soggy paste. The only thing I have left is strength, and that’s what still allows me to fight with others. If you say my strength is going to turn into a pile of soggy paste then I’ll really die!”
This phrase then became a famous joke.
*** QianLong and XiaoYanZi are characters in the drama
Rui: I’ll be helping out with SH for a few chapters, however it will only be temporary! Sorry if my translation isn’t as good as the main translator or if it’s a different style. Hope you guys don’t mind that much. Enjoy reading!