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Translated by Vivian of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: Addis

 

This is after Gong Lu and Shou Guan become a harmonious couple—— 1

Wen JingHan leaned against the door of the office and said, “Today is the Lantern Festival and we haven’t had any cases recently, so everyone can go home early for the holiday.”

“Wansui 2!” everyone chorused before quickly packing up and disappearing without a trace. 

“You’re not leaving yet?” asked Wen JingHan when he saw that Guan Jin was still sitting there.

“If I go home, I’d have to take care of lunch by myself, so I’ve decided to eat lunch here before leaving.” Guan Jin stood up and stretched, turned off his computer, and went to the cafeteria.

“There’s tangyuan 3 today, I want to eat sesame ones!”

“I also want some!”

Some young policemen clamored at the serving window.

As Guan Jin walked past them, carrying his tray, he inadvertently glanced at the food. Tangyuan? Was that sort of round food even edible? It looked like a ping pong ball… Guan Jin, who had never experienced the Lantern Festival before, was wary of the traditional food item.

A nearby policewoman carefully took a bite of a tangyuan before inhaling sharply and muttering, “Ah, it’s so hot!”

…Guan Jin felt even more distant from this strange food item.

*****

When he got home, Lu YunYang hadn’t returned yet. Guan Jin took a shower and curled up on the couch to watch a true crime show on the television.

After some time had passed, the lock on the door clicked, and Lu YunYang returned, carrying some grocery bags.

“NuoNuo 4, have you been good today?”

NuoNuo?! What the hell was this?

Guan Jin blinked.

Lu YunYang set the groceries down on the table, walked to the sofa, hugged Guan Jin, and kissed him on the forehead. He said pamperingly, “My NuoNuo is so soft.”

Are you out of your mind? Guan Jin wondered what Lu YunYang was up to and shifted uneasily.

But why did his body feel so stiff? Why did Lu YunYang seem unusually taller today? Guan Jin looked down, and his eyes widened.

Was this white, round thing really his body? When did he get like this? He escaped from Lu YunYang’s grasp and walked to the mirror: he saw a white, round body with a chubby face and almond-shaped eyes. W-Why did he look like a… tangyuan?!

Lu YunYang held out something. “This is for you. The moment I saw it, I felt that it was perfect for you.” He draped a fleecy coat over Guan Jin’s shoulders.

“Why are you so cute, I just want to eat you in one bite.” Lu YunYang wrapped his arms around Guan Jin. “You’re like a tangyuan——once your outer shell is peeled away, your soft, sweet, and gentle heart is revealed…”

Ahhhh!!!

“The killer——is you!” Guan Jin sat up on the couch, breathing heavily, as the detective in the television made his deduction.

Fuck, how could I have this type of dream?!

*****

When Lu YunYang got home, he opened the door and saw Guan Jin sitting properly on the couch and reading Law and Morality…

“Why do you care so much about morals today?” Lu YunYang came in and placed a bag onto the kitchen table before walking towards Guan Jin with a smile.

This scene is too familiar!

“It’s you?” Guan Jin felt conflicted. “You didn’t buy anything weird, did you?”

“Anything weird?” Lu YunYang thought carefully. “Besides some tangyuan, I didn’t buy anything out of the ordinary.”

“That thing is so sticky, how can it be any good?” Guan Jin’s guard was up.

“How do you know it’s not good if you’ve never eaten it before? These were made by my brother’s personal chef, so they’re top-quality.” Lu YunYang went into the kitchen, washed his hands, and began preparing the holiday feast.

“Do you need help?” Guan Jin poked his head into the doorway.

“You can get the red wine and the glasses, and then you just have to wait for dinner to be ready.” Lu YunYang smiled pamperingly.

Guan Jin shivered and went to find the wine. Why wasn’t this feeling of apprehension going away…

After finishing the delicious feast, Guan Jin said in satisfaction, “Not bad, your cooking has been improving lately, so keep up the good work.”

“Of course!” Lu YunYang stood up. “The tangyuan should be ready now.”

Guan Jin immediately tensed up. “I’m already full, how can I eat it?”

“Just treat it as a dessert and eat one or two. Today’s the Lantern Festival, after all.” Lu YunYang brought out a bowl of tangyuan. “Give it a taste. It has an osmanthus filling, so it’s really special.”

Guan Jin looked at him before reluctantly picking up his chopsticks and poking one of the tangyuan.

“Is it nuonuo enough?”

Not the nuonuo again… Guan Jin resented this word, but he still took a careful bite of the tangyuan.

The glutinous rice skin was soft and chewy, and the filling was quite good as well; the delicate flavor of osmanthus left a lingering sweet taste in his mouth.

“It’s good, right?” Lu YunYang asked confidently.

“It’s just okay.” Guan Jin finished the entire bowl of “just okay” tangyuan.

“Since you’re done eating, let’s go outside to watch the lantern show.” Lu YunYang pulled him downstairs.

“What’s the point of watching lights…”

*****

There were countless people milling around on the streets. Guan Jin was nibbling a tanghulu 5 and holding a paper lantern as they made their way through the crowds with difficulty.

“The lantern got flattened.” Guan Jin frowned.

“That’s okay, we can buy a new one later.” Lu YunYang didn’t care whatsoever, and he instead used the crowds as an excuse to pull Guan Jin closer to himself. 

“You’re doing this on purpose, so immature!” Guan Jin saw through his plan.

Lu YunYang smiled shamelessly. “Don’t try to talk about reason or maturity with people who are in love.”

Another wave of people surged past them.

“Look, there are lantern riddles 6 there.” Lu YunYang quickly used a distraction to divert his attention.

Sure enough, Guan Jin immediately went to look at them.

There were riddles everywhere, and a lot of people were crowded around them, muttering to themselves.

Guan Jin focused on a modern-looking lantern. He read, “What is a group of ducks having a meeting called?”

“This isn’t even a brain-teaser, how unconventional,” commented Lu YunYang.

Guan Jin ignored him and frowned as he tried to think of the answer. 

“Do you have an answer?” Lu YunYang was waiting patiently.

“…A meeting of host club staff 7?” 

Lu YunYang couldn’t help but laugh out loud. “Darling, you’re so cute.”

“Stop laughing! If you’re so good, you can take a guess.” Guan Jin felt that his dignity had been wounded.

“Hm, this riddle uses reverse thinking. Naturally, a group of ducks having a meeting would be a ‘conversation without chickens’ 8

“…There also aren’t any fish, elephants, or giraffes! Why are there only no chickens?” complained Guan Jin.

“You’re not wrong, but out of all idioms, this is the only one that fits.” When Lu YunYang saw Guan Jin’s eyebrows rise, he quickly added, “However, this is indeed a bad riddle with too many flaws.”

Hmph, that’s more like it.

Guan Jin didn’t realize that his pride was becoming more and more unreasonable, but Lu Yunyang enjoyed it and would even indulge in it.

“This one only has one word?” Guan Jin leaned over to look at it closely, and his expression darkened.

“Obedient?” Lu YunYang also saw it.

Guan Jin was very sensitive towards this type of word today, and he immediately said in disdain, “What is that even supposed to mean? Are you supposed to answer with an idiom?”

Lu YunYang pondered it for a moment. “Since it’s only one character, it must come from the parts of the character… I got it.”

“What?”

“To take someone by surprise 9.”

When they looked at the back side that had the answer on it, Lu YunYang had indeed guessed correctly. Guan Jin “rewarded” him by making him go by two more lanterns and bringing them home to relieve his boredom.

*****

“I’m so tired.” When they got home, Guan Jin headed straight to the bathroom to take a shower. Then, he flopped down onto his bed and wrapped the blankets around himself, about to go to sleep.

However, Lu YunYang had other plans, and he unrolled Guan Jin from the sheets.

“Can’t you be obedient for just one day?”

“With my lover by my side, I’d have to go see a doctor if I was indifferent.”

Guan Jin nudged him with his foot. “Let me be on top.”

“Riding? I like that.”

“Bastard!”

The two of them were intertwined for a while, and Lu YunYang suddenly asked, “How about this, let’s guess a riddle. If you’re right, then I’ll do what the answer says, but if you guess wrong, then you’ll do it?”

Guan Jin looked at him alertly. “You’re definitely just trying to trick me, no need to explain.”

“Then will you take the bait?” Lu YunYang lowered his head and sucked on Guan Jin’s neck.

Guan Jin shivered slightly. “You don’t scare me.”

“I saw it on a lantern just now. One word, ‘eight brothers admiring the moon’.”

Since it’s a trap, it must have something to do with Lu YunYang’s goal tonight, and since it’s his goal, then it must be to top me. Be topped? That’s two words. Top? That seemed to be the wrong way around. Eight brothers admiring the moon… Why did it sound so strange…

“It’s been a while, do you have an answer yet? Don’t think you can use this as an excuse to stall.”

“Hmph… I don’t know. Are you happy now?” Guan Jin said in irritation.

“Since you admit defeat, then you’ll have to do it.”

“Do what?” He instinctively shrunk back a little.

“Eight brothers admiring the moon is obviously to——undress10.”

“…Lu YunYang, you’re the most shameless person ever!”

“I’m flattered.”

“Hey, you didn’t close the curtains.”

“No one can see us from outside, and besides, the moon is really bright tonight, so we can absorb the brilliance of the moon together.”

“Do you think you’re a fox spirit 11? You’re crazy.”

“You’re the fox spirit, and you’re really not self-aware, or else why would I want to do you every time I look at you?”

“That’s your problem!”

Lu YunYang held Guan Jin’s waist tightly as he began nibbling his collarbone softly. His other hand slid downwards in exploration.

“Mm… We don’t have that type of thing at home, do we? Are you trying to kill me?” Guan Jin was panting slightly, and his voice was soft.

“How could I?” Lu YunYang reached under the pillow and took out a tube of lube. He quickly spread some on his hand and leaned back down.

“Where did you get that from?!”

“I bought it after work today.”

“You said that you hadn’t bought anything strange!”

“Is this strange? This is quite essential.”

“Ah… be gentler, bastard.” Guan Jin went weak.

“Darling, you’re really like a nuonuo tangyuan today, I really want to take a bite.”

“Fuck your nuonuo!” I hate this dumb word!

 

The big moon shining outside pulled a cloud in front of its eyes. People were too inconsiderate these days, not even closing the curtains! 

 

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Translator Notes:

  1. This chapter is basically an extra but it’s placed here since it was probably the Lantern Festival when the author posted this.
  2. A phrase that roughly translates to “long live”.
  3. A Chinese dessert that is a ball of glutinous rice flour and water. Tangyuan can be either small or large and filled or unfilled, and it is traditionally eaten during the Lantern Festival.
  4. ”Nuo” means glutinous (sticky in texture), and in this case, it’s used as a form of endearment.
  5. A Chinese snack that’s a skewer of candied mountain hawthorn.
  6. As the name implies, these are riddles that are written on lanterns
  7. Host clubs, typically found in Japan, are where patrons pay for the company of a male host. It’s somewhat similar to male prostitution (although it’s more about company and not sex), and in Chinese, male prostitutes are also known as “鸭”, which translates to “duck”.
  8. What he actually says, “无稽之谈”, is an idiom that translates to “nonsense” or “baseless”. The second character, “稽”, is pronounced the same as “鸡”, which means chicken. Putting “鸡” into the expression makes it a “conversation without chickens”.
  9. This is translated from the idiom he says, “乘人不备”. The riddle itself, “obedient”, is written as “乖”, and if you take out the “人” (people) from the bottom of “乘”, you’re left with “乖”.
  10. “Moon” is 月 and “brother” is 兄, so putting them together basically gets you 脱, which means “undress”
  11. A mythical fox entity that is depicted as mischievous, usually tricking other people, with the ability to disguise themselves as a beautiful woman.
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