Mary Sue Chapter 2: A head full of fuzzy baby curls!

Translated by J. of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: Addis

When Ye Xi envisaged the Mary Sue author running rampant on the discussion forum every day, vilifying him, and now dragging him into this baffling nonsense, it made his blood boil.

So much so that strands of his hair curled up one by one.

With a head full of fuzzy baby curls, Ye Xi jumped up and down on the bed in a tantrum, “I don’t deserve this, don’t deserve this! I only pointed out a couple of problems because they were true!”

Actually, when it came to books about controlling bosses and runaway brides, there were certainly good ones out there. After all, web novels were only meant to entertain the masses, it was not like they needed to have much literary merit. Ye Xi signed a writer from this genre not so long ago. Her writing was eloquent and engaging, with excellent pacing and no obvious blunders. Although her plot summaries were a bit ostentatious, once they had been written into passages, not only were they not over the top, they were quite popular with the readers.

The author of The Runaway Groom and His 99 Attempted Escapades, on the other hand, seemed like she had not even graduated elementary school. The character design was so outrageous that they did not seem to make any sense at all. So, when Ye Xi rejected her book, he gave her the following points of feedback: 

1. The character design was too over the top, and many design elements seriously defied common understanding of physics and biology. 2. Improper handling of character relationships. 

There was no build-up between the protagonist resisting the antagonist, then falling in love with him. The plot was just an endless loop of the protagonist running away, seducing male extras, getting caught by the jealous antagonist, running away again and seducing more male extras, getting locked up by the angry antagonist, running away yet again and seducing even more male extras, then getting imprisoned by the now degenerate antagonist. It was a vicious and repeating cycle, which then suddenly turned into a ‘happy ending’ – readers could not be expected to fall for that.

Ye Xi felt that even though he did not sugar-coat his words, they were not overly harsh either, but apparently this made the author overflow with rage…

Had I known earlier that honest feedback would upset her so much, I would’ve just given her some stupid pep talk and emoticons instead, who cares if she didn’t improve! Ye Xi despondently stroked the fuzzy curls on his head.

Meanwhile, the electronic voice spoke again, and for the third time, asked if he had any other questions.

“Umm…yes I do.” Ye Xi sighed and asked, “How do I contact you again?”

Electronic voice, “You can press the ‘Help’ button in the top right corner of the interface.”

Ye Xi looked towards his top right and indeed saw a floating button-like icon. He reached out and pressed the air, then asked, “Like this?”

Electronic voice, “Correct.”

Ye Xi, “I have another question, do I have to complete the novel’s entire storyline before I’m allowed to go back to the real world?”

Electronic voice, “You may leave after reaching Level 99, this is the only criteria for exiting this world.”

Ye Xi, “So does that mean if I complete enough quests to reach Level 99, I can leave even if I haven’t finished the storyline?”

Electronic voice, “Correct.”

Ye Xi contemplated his situation for a moment, then continued, “Can I confirm that this world is virtual? As in, neither the storyline nor the people are real?”

Electronic voice, “Correct.”

Ye Xi let out a sigh of relief.

He had remembered that the protagonist from the novel was a bit of a slut. He had highly ambiguous relationships with an onslaught of male extras who kept appearing out of nowhere. However, if everything was virtual, then Ye Xi could pretend that he was playing a holographic RPG ¹, and he would not feel guilty even if he was forced to do some awful things in the game.

The electronic voice added, “You only exist in the Quest World as a brainwave, so according to your definition of a ‘real person’, you are not a ‘real person’ in here either.”

Ye Xi’s mood swiftly improved after learning his real body had not been transported here.

My real body is probably still crashed out on my bed right now!

Which reminded him, “Oh right, is the thing I’m standing on a bed?”

Electronic voice, “Correct.”

With his doubts confirmed, Ye Xi became dejected again, “But why is it so big?”

Electronic voice, “According to the descriptions from the original novel, you live in a mansion with an area of 200 hectares ², and you wake up in the middle of a four-hectare ³ bed each morning.”

Ye Xi, “…”

A standard athletic field with a 400-metre ⁴ runway would have an area of almost one hectare, which meant that this bed was the size of four athletic fields, and the mansion was the size of two hundred athletic fields and then some…

Ye Xi felt dizzy. Unwilling to give up, he continued, “I have another question, is every detail in your world recreated exactly as the novel had intended?”

Electronic voice, “The Quest World is 100% faithful to the original novel.”

Ye Xi fell silent for a moment, then asked, “What would happen if I really cried out some diamonds?”

The electronic voice replied honestly, “The likelihood of your eyes being damaged to the point of blindness is over 99.9%.”

Ye Xi’s face instantly turned ashen, “Holy crap! Is it really so precise?”

Electronic voice, “Yes.”

Ye Xi shouted in an outrage, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me? Let me out right now!!!”

What should I do if I accidentally cried? Fuck!

Plus I want to cry right now!

Ye Xi anxiously bit his lips and forced back his tears.

The electronic voice continued in a cold, toneless voice, “The only way to exit the Quest World is to complete the last level. It is recommended that you should commence the New Player quests. They will not provide you with any experience points, but they will help you adjust to this world. Once the New Player quests have been completed, the main quests will activate. Good luck.”

This is such an inhumane system! It’s so different from the naïve human-like operating systems featured in many virtual reality novels! Ye Xi cried a river of tears on the inside, but his expression remained stoic.

He was too afraid to cry.

After a long while, Ye Xi finally calmed down somewhat. The cherry blossoms did not fall as heavily as they had before, his fuzzy curls had also straightened up a bit, and he felt the tiniest urge coming from his bladder…

It was just a tiny little urge, not worthy of any attention.

Ye Xi looked down towards the bottom right corner and noticed a Help-like ‘Quest’ button.

In any case, I should complete the quests as soon as possible. If it really is true that one year passed in this world is the same as five minutes in the real world, maybe I can get to Level 99 and still be on time for work! Ye Xi optimistically tried to cheer himself up.

With his spirits lifted, Ye Xi gently tapped on the Quest button.

A quest window appeared in the centre of Ye Xi’s field of vision. It contained only a few short words, ‘New Player Quest 1: Get off the bed and put on your slippers. (0/1).’

The first thought that flashed across Ye Xi’s mind was ‘What the hell?! You call this a ‘Quest’? It’s so simple!’ However, once he looked towards the seemingly endless bed, he understood the difficulty of this quest…

He did not know where his slippers were!

Ye Xi dejectedly trudged along the soft mattress with his bare feet. He picked a random direction and walked towards it. After approximately 100 metres ⁵, he finally arrived at the edge of the bed.

Who would’ve thought being a Mary Sue would be so hard! I had to walk for a whole minute just to get off his bed!

Ye Xi woefully thought to himself, I must remember to sleep on the edge of the bed tonight!

After getting off the bed, Ye Xi discovered that this was indeed a bedroom. Around 20-30 metres ⁶ away from the edge of the bed, was a wall of wardrobes as far as the eye could see in either direction. The bedroom door, on the other hand, was nowhere to be found.

Ye Xi’s sense of reality had been completely redefined to the point where, nothing seemed to shock him anymore, “…”

Since the bed was at least four hectares ⁷ in size, of course the bedroom itself would be over ten hectares ⁸!

Such a retarded setting!

Ye Xi quietly cursed while he opened the quest interface. ‘New Player Quest 1’ still had a status of (0/1), and no matter how much he scrolled, he could not find ‘New Player Quest 2’ or any of the main tasks. It looked like the tasks were sequential, as in, the next quest would only be activated once he completed the previous quest.

Ye Xi morosely looked around him, but did not find any traces of his slippers. So, he walked bare-footed along the edge of his bed to look for them. The floor under his feet was blue. It was clean and smooth, without any trace of dust. It had a complex internal structure and many geometric crystalline surfaces on the inside. Under the glow of the ceiling lights, the floor reflected varying shades of blue. Ye Xi felt like he was walking on a frozen, dark azure ocean.

Ye Xi silently stared at the sapphire floor under his feet, “…”

Did they fuckin’ dig up all the sapphires from this world just to layout the flooring in my house?!

Such opulence deserves applause!

After walking for another 500-600 metres ⁹, Ye Xi finally found the slippers next to his bed. He was in luck, as he spotted the bedroom door on his way there. Since the quest was going smoothly, Ye Xi’s mood improved substantially. The fuzzy baby curls on his head had all but straightened, and the cherry blossoms had stopped falling too…

“Found them! Finally!” Ye Xi let out a sigh of relief and put on his slippers. He heard a not-wholly-unexpected ding next to his ear, and when he opened the quest interface, he found the status of the ‘New Player Quest 1’ had changed to ‘(1/1) Completed.’ Once he pressed the ‘Confirm’ button, ‘New Player Quest 2’ appeared in the quest window.

‘Talk to the butler and find the bathroom. (0/1)’

Ye Xi did not know if it was psychological, but as soon as he saw the word ‘bathroom’, the urge he felt in his bladder earlier had increased many-fold.

The butler should be outside the bedroom! Ye Xi rushed towards the bedroom door he had passed earlier. As he walked, he felt relieved that his sense of direction was not too bad. Had a directionally-challenged person been transported to this world, perhaps they could not even find their way out of the bedroom!

It sounds so retarded to get lost in your own bedroom…

After a few more minutes, Ye Xi had successfully exited his bedroom.

Outside Young Master Murong X’s bedroom was an endless corridor. Hanging from the walls were several famous paintings he had recognised from the internet. The same decadent sapphire surface lined the floor, and an endless array of branch-shaped crystal lights were embedded into the walls at regular intervals. 

On either side of the corridor, young attendants wearing white shirts and black vests stood approximately 200 metres ¹⁰ apart. The ones he had walked past were all prime specimens of young, handsome men. When the attendants saw Ye Xi come out of his bedroom, after a well-rehearsed bow, they uttered in unison, “Good morning Young Master Murong!”

Ye Xi shuddered at the roaring soundwave coming from the greetings, he was so spooked he almost peed where he stood!

 

Author’s Notes:

I really feel for the little sub, mwahahaha

He works up a head of baby curls so easily…

As a writer who usually introduces both the dom and the sub in the first chapter, we’re in Chapter 2 already, it’s a miracle that the dom hasn’t even made an entrance yet, hahahaha…