Mary Sue Chapter 1: That author must really hate me!

 

Mary Sue: A Faithful Adaptation by Lu TianYi

写实派玛丽苏

Genre: BL, Comedy, Mary Sue Parody

Novel Status in Country of Origin: Finished, 48 chapters + 16 extras

Translator: J.

Editor: Addis

Keywords: slow burn romance, semi-consensual role play, mild food porn, spanking, play biting, mild tentacle porn

~~~~Brought to you by ExR~~~~

 

Notes on Character Names 

Ye Xi: Ye means ‘leaf’, and Xi means ‘light from the morning sun’. He is also affectionately known by his colleagues as Xiao Yezi or ‘Little Leaf’.

Shen Xiulin: Xiu means to ‘adjust’ or ‘fix’, and Lin means ‘continuous falling rain’, the good kind that would break a drought. He is also respectfully known to his employees as ‘Chief Executive Shen’. (Shen is just a common surname with no real meaning.)

Double-character family names in Chinese (eg. Murong, Huangfu, Shangguan) are considered rare and exotic. However, they are found in fantasy novels with a much higher frequency than they would be in real life. I think this is one of the devices used by the author to mock exaggerated elements in the fantasy genre.

Chapter 1: That author must really hate me!

Translated by J. of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: Addis

Ye Xi woke up to what should have been a Friday morning.

His consciousness woke up, but his body could not move at all.

He was no stranger to this sensation, sleep paralysis, or sometimes known as having ‘a demon on your chest’. Lately, Ye Xi often woke up like this.

Come on, I need to get to work! I wonder what time it is. He became anxious and his body tensed all over, struggling to move the tiniest inch.

Ye Xi turned twenty-five years old this year and worked as an editor at a well-established online literary platform. Despite doing quite well in the Male-Oriented Fiction team, three months ago, he was inexplicably transferred to the BL team by HR. Every day, he was forced to read a vast quantity of BL novels, ranging from omegaverse to harems, then from m-pregs to bestiality. As a straight male, he was on the verge of a psychotic breakdown.

To anchor his sexual orientation, Ye Xi would put himself through ten minutes of self-directed psychotherapy before work each morning. He would stare at photos of hot busty women on his phone, even though it made him look even more like a pervert…

All in all, the transfer to the BL team drastically increased Ye Xi’s stress levels over the past three months. Not only did he lose several kilos in weight, he also woke up with sleep paralysis on a regular basis. Sometimes he could hear mysterious sobbing noises during his episodes, but since he was not easily frightened nor did he believe in ghosts, he was more annoyed by it than anything else.

Crap, will I be late for work today? Ye Xi struggled for almost a minute and still could not move his body. He was so stressed out that he wanted to swear.

For Ye Xi, being late to work was not as simple as losing his full-attendance bonus or having his pay docked. For the past two months, whether rain or shine, the CEO of the literary platform, Shen Xiulin, would inexplicably wait in front of the Editorial Department every morning to catch any slackers. He could have just let the card-puncher do its job, but no, Mr. Chief Executive not only personally checked attendance, he would then drag any tardy editors to his office for a lecture on punctuality.

Since Ye Xi lived far from the office and liked to sleep in, he had already been caught over ten times, more than any other editor in his department. Every time he got caught, he would be locked in the chief executive’s office for at least half an hour before he was allowed to leave. It was very pathetic.

In reality, Mr. Shen Xiulin was not only from a respectable family, he was also extremely good looking, and became the CEO of the literary platform at a young age. His circumstances should have made him popular with his employees, but due to his stern countenance and frosty demeanour, Ye Xi became extremely nervous every time he saw Shen Xiulin, to the point where his mouth went dry and his knees went weak purely out of reflex!

Our Chief Executive Shen is super scary!

When Ye Xi remembered Shen Xiulin’s stony coffin face, he found an inexplicable source of energy and sat straight up.

“Finally! I’m aw…” Ye Xi opened his eyes and choked back the second half of his sentence.

He could no longer see his familiar bedroom, there was nothing but an all-encompassing field of white. Ye Xi’s eyes darted around his surroundings in horror. He discovered that he was surrounded by a seemingly endless shade of pure and unadulterated white. It radiated from under him, went on for several hundred metres in every direction, then ended beyond Ye Xi’s field of vision.

“Crap! What the hell is going on?” Ye Xi forcefully rubbed his eyes and suspected that he was, in fact, still dreaming.

But when he opened his eyes again, the situation had not changed one bit.

Ye Xi immediately jumped up, and through the action of getting up, realised that he was actually covered by a duvet, with a pillow sitting next to it. A soft, snowy white material radiated from beneath his feet and looked very much like bed sheets.

Ye Xi’s brain buzzed loudly for a moment, “…”

‘Is this a bed?’ was Ye Xi’s first thought.

‘Why the fuck is the bed so big?’ was Ye Xi’s second thought.

Ye Xi took a deep breath in an attempt to calm down and decided to re-evaluate his surroundings. There was a white ceiling straight above his head, he wore snowy white pyjamas, and mysterious pink petals danced around him before falling silently onto the white material next to his feet. It was quiet all around him; a light fragrance filled the air, like an expensive perfume of some sort…

All the signs had indicated that despite being in a space the size of several athletic fields, he was actually still inside a room.

It was truly bizarre.

Have I been transported to another dimension? As an editor and prolific reader of web novels, Ye Xi immediately thought of this possibility. He slapped his face a couple of times and forced himself to calm down. He cleared his throat, then carefully asked the air in front of him, “Is anyone there?”

As soon as he had spoken, an electronic male voice sounded next to his ear as if it was the mechanical voice from Google Translate, “Hello and welcome to Quest World No. 9235.”

“What…?” Ye Xi looked around him but did not see anyone. He did not find any speaker-like objects either, it was as if the voice broadcasted straight into his head.

The electronic voice continued without any sign of emotion, “The instructions are as follows. This is a virtual system created by the collective will of humankind. Quest World No. 9235, where you are currently located, was created by a large quantity of highly concentrated resentment directed unanimously at you. Time passes differently between the Quest World and the Real World, with one year in the Quest World equating to five minutes in the Real World. The only way to leave the Quest World is to fulfil quests according to the will of the resentful creator of this world. Each completed quest will provide a certain amount of experience points. You may leave after successfully completing the last level. The switch to the Quest and Properties interface can be found on the inside of your right wrist. You may activate it by tapping your wrist. No one other than yourself can see the content displayed by the interface. Do you have any other questions? Please answer ‘Yes’ or ‘No.’”

Ye Xi stood dumbfounded for a moment. Then he shouted, “Wait! Don’t leave yet!”

The unemotional voice replied, “Waiting. Do you have any other questions? Please answer ‘Yes’ or ‘No.’”

Once he had confirmed that the mysterious voice would not suddenly disappear, Ye Xi quickly looked down at his wrist. The inside of his right wrist was pale and smooth, there was no sign of any button-like objects, but he could see a very small mole. Ye Xi apprehensively pressed down on the mole. A quest interface appeared before his eyes, where a semi-opaque screen covered Ye Xi’s field of vision. A portrait of Ye Xi’s face was displayed in the upper left corner of the screen, with the text ‘Lv 0/Lv 99’ next to it, probably indicating his current level was 0. Ye Xi cursed in his head, then focused on the block of small text on the screen.

Character’s Name: Murong X (approximately 100 characters of meaningless symbols have been omitted here)

Ye Xi almost laughed.

This is a pretty honest system!

Character’s Role: The youngest son of the Murong family, one of the four families who control the fate of the global economy.

Ye Xi instantly recalled the horrifying memory of being at the mercy of Mary Sue ¹ writers every day in the real world.

Character’s Personality Traits: Sometimes cold, sometimes sweet, sometimes wild, sometimes demure, sometimes extroverted, sometimes introverted, sometimes…

Ye Xi counted up all the paradoxical characteristics, there were as many as twenty-four.

Hahaha! Does he have twenty-four split personalities?

Ye Xi laughed out loud, obviously not comprehending the full extent of his dire situation.

Character Design: He possesses the most beautiful and delicate face, with ebony black hair, milky white skin, lips the colour of little red petals and a dainty small waist; he has curly hair when he is upset, and straight hair when he is cheerful; cherry blossoms fall from his head when he is nervous, and rose petals fall from his head when he is happy; his tears turn into sparkling diamonds when he cries…

Ye Xi looked at the thick layer of pink petals next to his feet with a complicated expression. The petals had been falling non-stop since he woke up, but since he was focused on other strange things, he had not paid them much attention until now.

“Could it be true?” Ye Xi mumbled to himself, then reached out and grabbed a bunch of petals from his head.

Ye Xi stared at the cherry blossom petals in his hand with bewilderment, “…”

Why does the system recreate my profile so faithfully?! The profile says cherry blossoms, so you create cherry blossoms?

Plot Summary: The protagonist is the youngest, most beloved son of the Murong family. He is betrothed from birth to the eldest son of the Huangfu family, the most prominent of the four families who control the fate of the global economy. However, Young Master Murong is displeased with the engagement, and despite risking Young Master Huangfu’s wrath, has escaped from his grasp a total of ninety-nine times…..

Huangfu X: Ha! There are only two types of things in this world, the things I want, and the things I don’t want!

Murong X: Humph! I am a distinguished son of the Murong family, I refuse to let you control me!

Ye Xi was shocked.

Not because the plot summary was shocking, since he was used to this type of plots, but because it looked eerily familiar…

Ye Xi focused his eyes and continued reading.

Quest Title: The Runaway Groom and His 99 Attempted Escapades

Ye Xi: “…”

Fucking hell, it’s a novel I rejected!

Ye Xi could recall the name clearly because it was the first book he rejected after being transferred to the BL team.

The standard for online novels was pretty low these days. As long as someone could type, they could write a novel. Hence all kinds of trashy, shallow Mary Sue novels floated around cyberspace like powdered snow. A lot of authors still employed cliched plots from over a decade ago, plots like car accidents, leukaemia, domineering bosses, icy cool hunks, rainbow hair, hundred-hectare mansions, and so-and-so controlling the fate of the global economy… However, readers were unlikely to encounter these literary failures nowadays as they would have been filtered out by online platforms, but Ye Xi still had to deal with them every day. Since BL novels made him uncomfortable as a straight male, he was already doing the authors a favour by not giving them a piece of his mind. He was in no mood to let any of the authors down gently, so he often went straight to the heart of the problem.

‘Sorry, your writing is pretentious and childish, it’s not up to signing standard.’

‘Sorry, your plot lacks common sense and logic, it’s not up to signing standard.’

As a consequence, in an editorial team full of soft-spoken saccharine women, Ye Xi seemed especially unsympathetic. His popularity was so low that it would have pierced through the Earth’s core, and he was often the object of online bashing by rejected authors hiding behind alternate accounts.

Some of these authors even created a discussion forum about him, which was aptly named ‘818 BL team’s stuck-up straight male editor.’ The forum was filled with resentment; one day Ye Xi decided to look it up out of curiosity, he discovered that the owner of the forum was none other than the author of The Runaway Groom and His 99 Attempted Escapades. The author led the discussions in the forum every day, cursing Ye Xi from head to toe, revealing the depth of her enmity and acrimony towards him.

Ye Xi: “…”

That author must really hate me!!!!

Not only did she build me a forum, she also built me an entire world?!

 

Author’s Notes: Hello Everyone! After half a year of waiting, I can finally introduce Mary Sue to you all… _(:з」∠)_

It’s a familiar composition from your friend A-Yi ²…

It’s my first time writing in the virtual reality genre. I’m not too confident with it, please go easy on me if I don’t do a very good job… _(:з」∠)_