Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations
Extra ②Three People ┃To Love Like They’ve Never Been Hurt Before
S01 Ruan Xin
Ruan Xin was a senior student of the directing department of Beijing Film Academy. In his sophomore year, he won the directing award of a film festival in China with a short film, and after graduating in his senior year, he refused the olive branches from major film companies and joined Ming Xi Media unexpectedly. He became an assistant to the president.
This incident had been one of the top ten unsolved mysteries in Ruan Xin’s circle of friends, who suspected that he had either been kicked in the head by a donkey or had been soul-searching, and whenever his friends asked him why he had made such an unbelievable choice, Ruan Xin never answered positively.
“Because I’m in love with a man, I have to do everything possible to get close to him, to attract him, to make him fall in love with me.” —Ruan Xin couldn’t say such words, it was too humiliating.
The man’s name, Fei Zheng.
There was nothing special about his encounter with Fei Zheng.
Fei Zheng was walking his dog in the park and lost it, which was picked up by Ruan Xin, who was running at night.
It was an ordinary summer night, the street light in the park enveloped them, and when they looked at each other, Ruan Xin clearly saw the shock in the other’s eyes.
Ruan Xin thought: Why is this person staring at me so intently?
Then Ruan Xin also stared back as if he wasn’t willing to give up, and thought: This man is really handsome, the kind of handsome that hits you in the heart… But I think I’ve seen this look before, it looks familiar… Why are his eyes so… filled with heartache?
Ruan Xin’s heart inexplicably tingled.
He subconsciously raised his hand to cover his heart, and the man across from him finally spoke his first words, “Are you… Are you okay?”
The tone of his voice was cold, but his voice sounded good, as if he had heard it before… Ruan Xin thought he must be crazy.
Ruan Xin shook his head, “I’m fine.”
The man then stopped talking and continued to look at him steadily.
Ruan Xin was uncomfortable by his gaze, “Sir, it’s not polite to stare at someone like that.”
The man said, “My name is Fei Zheng.”
And that was how he got his name.
Ruan Xin froze for two seconds then said, “Oh.”
Fei Zheng stared at him, “What’s your name?”
A stranger he just met less than two minutes ago asked his name, knowing that he shouldn’t answer, but Ruan Xin opened his mouth, “Ruan Xin.”
Ruan Xin clearly saw the obvious disappointment in the eyes of the strange man named Fei Zheng when he heard his name, as well as many feelings that he couldn’t distinguish.
The stinging feeling came back abruptly.
Ruan Xin covered his heart, not knowing why he was like this.
Fei Zheng dropped a cold “thank you” and turned to leave.
Ruan Xin looked at the fading back, his heart continued the stabbing pain, and he finally couldn’t support himself, he bent down and squatted to the ground.
It was such a short encounter that changed Ruan Xin’s life completely.
After that day, he could no longer erase this man named Fei Zheng from his mind, as if he was possessed.
His friend said, this was called love at first sight.
Really… Is that so?
Two days later, Ruan Xin saw Fei Zheng again under the same streetlight.
He didn’t know whether to ignore it, or stop to say hello.
However, he didn’t wait to think about it, but his legs stopped subconsciously.
Ruan Xin was embarrassed for two seconds and searched for something to say, “What a coincidence, are you walking your dog again?”
The fierce-looking American bull was crouching at Fei Zheng’s feet, staring at him with a glaring gaze.
Fei Zheng said, “I’m waiting for you.”
Ruan Xin was surprised, “Waiting… waiting for me?”
Fei Zheng handed over a business card.
Ruan Xin reached out to take it and looked at it in the light of the street lamp.
Ming Xi Media, President, Fei Zheng.
Of course Ruan Xin knew Ming Xi Media, the leading company in the industry.
This was the president of Ming Xi Media, and he really had the air of a domineering president.
Fei Zheng said, “I want to hire you as my assistant, will you accept?”
Ruan Xin, “…”
At that time, Ruan Xin had just graduated from college and was considering which one to choose when several film and television companies offered to sign him.
When he heard himself say the word “I do”, Ruan Xin was stunned.
Crazy, crazy, crazy! I must be crazy!
Fei Zheng seemed to smile a little and said, “See you tomorrow.”
Then, without giving Ruan Xin a chance to reply, he took the dog and walked away.
Ruan Xin, “…”
What the hell is going on here?
Who am I? Where am I? What am I doing?
I must have been under some kind of evil spell!
But the next morning, Ruan Xin walked into the office building of Ming Xi Media.
Then, he never left, and stayed for five years.
He fell in love with Fei Zheng so much that he didn’t want to go anywhere but to Fei Zheng’s side.
But Fei Zheng didn’t love him.
Fei Zheng’s heart was probably made of thousand-year-old ice; it was cold, hard, not warm at all, and wouldn’t melt.
Ruan Xin had thought about giving up countless times, but he couldn’t let go, remaining in the pain and unhappiness of never getting a response to love.
Until he was diagnosed with a rare heart condition.
Doctors said that without a heart transplant, he wouldn’t live to be twenty-eight years old.
But the chances of meeting a successful heart match were so slim that it was tantamount to a miracle.
It’s time to give up, Ruan Xin thought.
A man who was dying was still hoping for love.
On the night of Ming Xi’s 10th anniversary party, Ruan Xin sent Fei Zheng to Yanxi Villa and then sent him home again.
Fei Zheng drank wine and leaned back in his seat to rest his eyes.
Ruan Xin drove the car very slowly, and by the time he reached Fei Zheng’s home, it was almost midnight.
As soon as the car stopped, Fei Zheng woke up.
He raised his hand and rubbed his brow, “It’s been a long time.”
Ruan Xin was silent for a moment and looked at Fei Zheng with his head, “Mr. Fei, I want to ask you a question.”
Fei Zheng’s tone was tired and cold, “What?”
“Five years ago,” Ruan Xin paused, “why did you ask me to be your assistant?”
Fei Zheng stiffened at his words, and didn’t answer after a long time.
When Ruan Xin thought he couldn’t wait for an answer, Fei Zheng finally spoke, “Because, you look like someone.”
“…Like who?” Ruan Xin fell into the ice cellar, he clenched his fist, his nails stabbed the palm of his hand painfully.
“Xu Maki,” Fei Zheng said calmly, “the man I once loved.”
“Is he… Is he still alive?” Ruan Xin asked with difficulty.
“He died,” Fei Zheng’s voice was still without a ripple, “a long time ago.”
A knife was inserted into his heart, stirring back and forth, and Ruan Xin was in so much pain that he couldn’t breathe, but his face was smiling.
He was just a substitute for Fei Zheng, no different from the potted plants in the office, having just an ornamental purpose.
What a dog’s blood.
“You should’ve told me earlier, then I could’ve given up earlier and not wasted so much time on you.” Ruan Xin smiled and said, “But it’s not too late to know now, I can still start over. Mr. Fei, I’m really sorry that my selfishness has caused you trouble.”
Fei Zheng looked at him quietly, with an ambiguous expression.
Ruan Xin tilted his head to meet his eyes and said with a smile, “But I still want to ask you a very old-fashioned question, in these years, have you ever had a heart for me? Even for a minute or a second?”
Fei Zheng didn’t answer.
“I get it.” Ruan Xin smiled and said, “Mr. Fei, I’d like to take a day off tomorrow for some personal business.”
Fei Zheng said, “Okay.”
Ruan Xin didn’t say goodbye, just pushed the door and got out of the car, and walked away.
He didn’t cry, not a single tear, but his heart hurt so much that it seemed to be dying.
Just out of the neighborhood gate, he suddenly blacked out and lost consciousness covering his heart in severe pain.
When he woke up, he was in the hospital.
The doctor said that his condition was deteriorating rapidly and he was afraid that he would not live beyond this year.
Hearing this news, Ruan Xin was not only not sad, but even a little happy.
It seemed that death wasn’t as terrible as he thought.
Ruan Xin rested for only one day and went back to work.
He wouldn’t leave Ming Xi before his body couldn’t support him completely. He no longer wanted love, he just wanted to stay by Fei Zheng’s side as much as possible at the end of his life, to be able to hear him, see him and be satisfied.
When people love to the extreme, they could be really humble to the point of inconceivability.
But Ruan Xin didn’t expect that his body would fail that fast.
After only three months, he already felt exhausted, but he still had to pretend to be normal in front of Fei Zheng.
That night, Ruan Xin went to Fei Zheng’s home for work. He felt sick halfway through the conversation, and he forced himself to finish his sentence and left immediately.
Just entering the elevator, he slid against the elevator wall and sat down on the floor, his heart was tearing like pain, he gritted his teeth and reached for a small square box from his pocket, which contained his medicine.
But he didn’t last long enough to take the medicine before he passed out in the excruciating pain that ripped through his heart.
The second before he lost consciousness, all he could think of was: Don’t let Fei Zheng find out, don’t let…
When he woke up, the person at his bedside wasn’t Fei Zheng, but a strange and beautiful woman.
The woman smiled and said, “Do you remember me? You’ve seen me before, at Villa Yanxi.”
Ruan Xin searched his memory and remembered, “Ah, hello, how did you…”
“My name’s Lancelot, you can just call me Lan.” Lancelot’s voice was between male and female, very nice, “I was going to see brother Zheng to say goodbye, but I found you fainted in the elevator, so I brought you to the hospital.”
Ruan Xin was suddenly nervous, “You didn’t tell him, did you?”
Lancelot said, “I called brother Zheng, he should be here soon.”
As he was speaking, the door of the ward was violently pushed open, and Fei Zheng entered with big strides, his face horribly gloomy.
Lancelot spontaneously moved out of the way, Fei Zheng stood by the hospital bed, staring at Ruan Xin’s pale face, and asked in a deep voice, “What’s wrong?”
Ruan Xin said weakly, “It has nothing to do with you.”
Fei Zheng shouted, “I asked you what disease you have!”
All the pretense and strength collapsed the moment he heard this angry shout. Tears came out of his eyes, so Ruan Xin closed them tightly, gritting his teeth to keep himself from crying out.
Fei Zheng turned his head and went out.
Lancelot returned to the bedside and took out a tissue to wipe Ruan Xin’s tears.
Ruan Xin quickly returned to his normal self.
He smiled and said to Lancelot, “Please call the doctor for me, I want to leave the hospital.”
Without waiting for Lancelot to speak, Fei Zheng turned back.
Without saying a word, he picked up Ruan Xin and walked out.
“What are you doing?” Ruan Xin shouted weakly, “Put me down!”
“Transfer to another hospital.” Fei Zheng replied.
“It’s useless to transfer to another hospital,” Ruan Xin said, “I can’t be cured.”
Fei Zheng suddenly stopped and looked down at Ruan Xin, “Do you still love me?”
Ruan Xin opened his mouth, but no words came out.
Fei Zheng waited for a moment and then said, “When you get well, we’ll be together.”
Ruan Xin looked at him in shock, “…I don’t need you to pity me.”
Fei Zheng said, “You know, I’m not a compassionate person. I won’t be with you because I pity you.”
Ruan Xin was stunned, “What do you… What do you mean?”
Fei Zheng gave the strongest answer with his action, he lowered his head and kissed Ruan Xin’s lips.
Ruan Xin, who had already given up on treatment, was admitted to the best cardiovascular hospital in Beijing for the best treatment under Fei Zheng’s arrangement.
His desire to live was stronger than at any other moment, he wanted to live and then be with the one he loved most. However, the available treatments could only slightly prolong his life, and without a suitable heart for transplantation, he would still die in the near future.
Fei Zheng searched hospitals all over China, but found nothing.
When he was desperate, a hospital called and said they had a brain dead patient with a heart that was a perfect match for Ruan Xin, and that the patient’s family was willing to donate the heart.
Fei Zheng immediately asked the doctors to prepare for the heart transplant.
On the day of the surgery, before entering the operating room, Ruan Xin grabbed Fei Zheng’s hand and asked, “What you said… You can’t go back on your word.”
Fei Zheng smiled gently in a rare way, “No regrets, I’ll wait for you.”
S02 Fei Zheng
When the person you love dies, how long can love survive without one of the parties holding it together?
Fei Zheng didn’t know.
He only knew that after Xu Maki left, his world was turned upside down. He became a completely different person, cold, gloomy, reticent, completely lost the temperature of life. Fei Cheng said he missed the warm, crying and laughing brother he used to have.
However, that Fei Zheng had been buried together with Xu Maki and could never be recovered. The remaining Fei Zheng could only live in this self-mutilating way, like two completely different parts of an individual, part of which was stripped away and part of which was left behind.
When he met Ruan Xin, Xu Maki had been gone for nearly two hundred years. Fei Zheng couldn’t recall Xu Maki’s appearance for a long time, but at the moment he met Ruan Xin, it suddenly became clear again, and those memories that had been blurred for a long time also came up sporadically.
But the heart that was dead, because of that identical face, stirred up again. The love that was once engraved in his bones finally faded away in the long time to see the end.
But why did he still keep that boy around?
Fei Zheng occasionally didn’t understand himself.
Perhaps he just wanted to remember those distant past through that face. But what he didn’t expect was that his life, which he thought would be bleak to death, would come alive again because of this boy named Ruan Xin, who was like a light, enveloping him and warming him little by little.
However, he hurt him.
That day was Ruan Xin’s birthday.
After work, Ruan Xin came to invite him, “Mr. Fei, it’s my birthday today, would you be so kind as to join us for a meal?”
Fei Zheng agreed.
After drinking two bottles of sake, Ruan Xin was so drunk that he couldn’t walk steadily.
Ruan Xin leaned on his shoulder and slept all the way to his destination, but still showed no signs of waking up.
Fei Zheng told the driver to leave after work and didn’t wake Ruan Xin, so he just stayed quietly.
After an unknown period of time, Ruan Xin suddenly spoke, “Why didn’t you wake me up?”
Fei Zheng was stunned and said indifferently, “I want you to sleep a little longer. Since you are awake, go home.”
Ruan Xin sat up straight, and after a moment of silence, he called out in a low voice, “Fei Zheng.”
This was the first time he had ever called him by his first name.
Fei Zheng was slightly surprised to look over, Ruan Xin’s eyes brightly met his and said, word by word, “I like you.”
Fei Zheng felt his heart beat for the first time in a long time.
But he didn’t like it, or rather, he was a little afraid.
If you didn’t have it, you wouldn’t be afraid of losing it. The same despair, he didn’t want to experience again.
Fei Zheng said expressionlessly, “I’m afraid I’m going to let you down.”
The light in Ruan Xin’s eyes instantly darkened.
Fei Zheng stopped looking at him and said faintly, “If you want to resign, I can accept it.”
Ruan Xin didn’t say anything, but silently got out of the car, walked a bit and then turned back, knocking on Fei Zheng’s side of the car window.
Fei Zheng put the window down.
Ruan Xin looked at him, “Can I… Can I give you a kiss?”
Fei Zheng was stunned for a moment and was just about to answer when Ruan Xin came down and gently kissed him on the lips for a brief two seconds and then left.
Ruan Xin smiled and said, “Just think of me as a drunken fool.”
He turned around and walked away.
Fei Zheng raised his hand to the lips he had just kissed, and his heart was beating strongly in his chest, making a thump, thump sound.
Ruan Xin didn’t resign.
He continued to work earnestly, as if that night’s confession and that sloppy kiss didn’t happen.
Fei Zheng felt really despicable.
He was afraid to respond to Ruan Xin’s feelings because he was afraid of losing them again, but he was also happy that Ruan Xin chose to stay.
However, when the cruel fate really came again, he was suddenly not afraid of anything.
That day, in the doctor’s office, he was told that Ruan Xin had a serious heart condition and that if he didn’t get a heart transplant in time, Ruan Xin wouldn’t live more than three months.
Fei Zheng calmly said, “I understand,” got up and left, going back to the hospital room.
He thought, Maybe this is his destiny.
Instead of shamefully hiding, he should fight back, even if he still ended up in defeat, will suffer, will despair, but at least wouldn’t regret.
As Alfred D’Souza said: Happiness is a journey, not an end, so love as if you had never been hurt, and live as if it were the end of the world, so that you can die without regret.
Although Dragon Five has finally broken its shell, Dragon Six and Dragon Seven had to be incubated for about two more months, so the day after the joy of getting a dragon girl, Fei Cheng had to turn into a dragon as usual, swallowed the two dragon eggs into his stomach and work diligently to incubate the eggs.
Nan HuaiLin was worried that they might hurt her, so he had to hold her all the time, while she was frightened by her brothers’ enthusiasm, hiding in Nan HuaiLin’s arms and shivering.
After lunch, the four little ones were napping, Nan HuaiLin finally relaxed, free to look at the phone, and then surprised to see an email from Lancelot. He held Dragon Five in one hand, clicking on the email with the other and began to read.
First of all, Happy New Year! And let me say sorry for not contacting you for so long, because I just came back from Antarctica.
I left Beijing in July. A week before I left Beijing, Lowden came to see me. Fei Cheng must have told him I was in Beijing, right?
I told him to keep his mouth shut.
But I was really happy to see Lowden again. He was still so handsome, gentlemanly and charming that I almost fell for him.
In the beginning, the only reason why I would be with Lowden was to use him to forget about Cheng’s brother.
Obviously, I failed.
Human nature is cheap, the more you can’t get it, the heavier the obsession.
When I was born, I was discarded by my parents as a monster, and later, when I grew up, I was bullied by my fellow clansmen, and it was Brother Zheng who saved me and raised me. So my love for brother Zheng isn’t just love.
He’s the most special being in this world, so how can I forget him so easily? However, when I saw Ruan Xin, I really decided to give up, although I still deeply love brother Zheng. No matter how much I struggled, I couldn’t defeat the power of destiny, and in front of the strange fate, no one is insignificant.
So when Lowden found me again after so many years and said he still loved me and was willing to wait for me, I was really touched.
No one knows better than me how painful it is to wait for an impossible love. He was really stupid, as stupid as I was.
Many people say that being moved isn’t love. But if you aren’t even touched, how can you talk about love?
I didn’t give Lowden a hasty answer, I told him to give me a little more time. Because I need time to clean up my heart, I can’t let him live in a messy heart, it’s disrespectful to him.
Travel is the best way to do that.
I decided to go to Antarctica. It should be easier to get cleansed in that kind of ice and snow, right?
Before departing, I went to see my brother Zheng to say goodbye.
I didn’t expect to see an unconscious Ruan Xin in the elevator. I took him to the hospital and notified Brother Zheng. When he came over, I could tell right away that he really loved Ruan Xin, not as a substitute for Xu Maki.
I was happy for him, really. Am I very realistic? Hahaha.
I left at the end of July. Swam from the Pacific Ocean to the Indian Ocean, and from the Indian Ocean to the Arctic Ocean.
By the way, when I passed through the Strait of Magellan, I went back to the island called Sugarloaf Rock to see if the big fiery red bird still lived there.
Unfortunately, the island was gone, probably drifted elsewhere or sunk into the sea.
It was December when I arrived in Antarctica. There are only two seasons in Antarctica, one is the warm season and the other is the cold season.
I caught the warm season, what a pity, I still want to experience the extreme deep cold.
I stayed in Antarctica for more than a month.
I met a humpback whale. My God, it is really big, but especially gentle! I made friends with it, often looking for it to swim together. I also saved a human, he came to Antarctica to explore, accidentally fell from the glacier, and his head was bleeding, but he fortunately met me, otherwise he would’ve died.
By the way, there was a particularly strange thing. An emperor penguin probably has lost his mind and insisted to mate with me, but fortunately I escaped wisely to save my innocence, hahaha!
Right now, I’m sitting in a cafe in Ushuaia, borrowing a laptop from someone to write this email to you. It’s a very beautiful city and you should definitely come and see it sometime.
I’ve booked a flight to the US tomorrow to see Lowden. I think I’m ready to start a whole new life. It’s not too late, is it? After all, I’m still young and beautiful.
Nan, you and Fei Cheng are really the best love I’ve ever seen. You love him deeply and he loves you deeply and you would do anything for each other. I hope that someday in the future, I will also have a love as beautiful and carnal as yours.
Please bless me hard, hahaha!
The moon is really beautiful tonight, I’m going out to bask in it for a while. I’m going to go to the Underwater City to play with you.
Love, your little Lan
February 15, 2019
The author has something to say:
See you in next book, muah~
Addis has something to say:
Thank you all for joining this journey with My Dragon! I hope you all liked it! There will not be a new novel being released to replace My Dragon, only two new novels to replace Mecha Slave Contract and A Real Man Isn’t Afraid of a Little Demon. Those two novels will both be released for free on the site on January 1st and will not be announced until either of the two novels mentioned above are officially completed on the site. Again, thank you for reading this novel and I hope you join us for the next two on Jan. 1st.