Ordinary Chapter 51: I am what I am

Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: KarateChopMonkey

 

Bai JunYi was prepared from the beginning, knowing how bad and hateful Parasite was and what unpleasant things he would say. But it was no use, because Bai JunYi understood from the beginning.

Parasite was the one who started this thing, and there was no need to care what he did it for, because for the victim, the reason why the perpetrator chose to harm was meaningless, and as long as the damage existed, he deserved to die.

Ah, yes, there was also what Parasite shouted just now, Bai JunYi himself was also a murderer.

Bai JunYi had never denied this.

Bai JunYi was the one who did it, Bai JunYi was the one who was deceived, and Bai JunYi was the one who killed in the end. He knew from the beginning that he was also a murderer, so there was no point in Parasite’s sophistry or the persuasion of the people around him.

Guilty. Bai JunYi carried these actions, and willingly carried it all, because it was something he deserved to bear.

The golden light blade stabbed down hard, poof, blood slowly spread out on the ground. The  bright red blood was washed away by the rain, gradually turning into a small pink stream. Parasite’s screams rang out, he kept struggling, but couldn’t climb out of the pit.

Bai JunYi didn’t even blink, and the light blade in his hand stabbed down again.

Until Parasite didn’t even scream.

The green vine trembled under the rain, it shuddered and broke free from its body and burrowed into the earth in a flash.

The light blade dissipated in the air, Bai JunYi looked at the place where the green vine disappeared, golden eyes without any expression, no worry or happiness, he just stood in the rain, as if thinking about nothing, and as if thinking about everything.

“Escaped? Forget it…” Bai JunYi closed his eyes.

Devil’s Silk Thread with broken roots wouldn’t live long, perhaps barely surviving on a little water, but with the lack of roots he couldn’t escape this playfield even if he ran away again.

That was enough.

Bai JunYi turned around, he raised his head, the next moment he was stunned, behind him, his own identical person was standing there, with a smile on his face, a warm smile that made his golden eyes unusually soft. Was this his previously invisible dummy?

“That’s right, this is what you really look like.” ‘Bai JunYi’ stated. He took a step forward and smiled as he extended his hand towards Bai JunYi. “Carrying a sense of guilt, fully recognizing your sins and choosing to bear them, you are the one who is most rational, suppressing yourself to the extreme with an almost ruthless reason. That’s you, and that’s me.”

Bai JunYi looked at him, and after a moment he laughed a little and lowered his head somewhat helplessly, “I kind of understand why Jian Nian had that expression when he saw his own cognitive dummy. There was a feeling that he was looking at his own joke.”

The dummy withdrew his hand as he nodded subtly, “It can’t be helped, everyone hates their perceived truest self to a greater or lesser extent, and will feel shame because their truest self is exposed to people, it’s human nature.”

“It’s strange to talk to yourself.”

“There are even stranger things.” The cognitive dummy opened its hand, “Kill me so you can get out of here.”

Bai JunYi cocked his head as he smiled a little helplessly, “…Yeah, it’s weird that I have to kill myself.”

… 

Cognitive dummies were dummies born with a person’s awareness of self, which meant they were also equivalent to themselves, a false yet real other self. They didn’t want to attack anyone, they didn’t want to die, they just acted as their other selves, and they wouldn’t be a bad person if the being was a good person.

They may even help the original, because for them, the original was themselves.

It was a matter of course that they helped themselves.

He Xin and Ning Yangze walked along the alley, looking for Ning Yangze’s cognitive dummy. Since the beginning neither Ning Yangze nor Shen Si’s cognitive dummy had appeared, if the dummy didn’t appear then how could they escape? So they split into two groups to look for the cognitive dummies that were hiding somewhere.

“It’s really strange why you three’s cognitive dummies just follow you, while Shen Si’s and I hide instead?”

“Cognitive dummies are dummies born with self-awareness, the master’s obsession is their obsession, which is a good explanation.” He Xin put his glasses on, “Jian Nian’s obsession is Shen Si, so his cognitive dummy will follow Jian Nian because it can act together with Shen Si. Bai JunYi’s obsession is Parasite, and his target is Parasite, so his cognitive dummy will stay behind because Bai JunYi is the most likely to find Parasite. As for me.” He Xin looked at Ning Yangze, “My obsession is to analyze this playfield, the props that can analyze the playfield are in my hands, he follows me because I have them.”

Ning Yangze looked at He Xin subtly, “Is my obsession to hide?”

“Who knows.” He Xin shook his head, “Maybe it was something in your subconscious that caused him to leave.”

Shen Si’s perceived dummy absence was well understood, and to be honest, he still didn’t know what Shen Si’s obsession would be if he had one. Maybe trying to control his powers so that he could go backwards in time to when he entered the first playfield? Or leave the playfields completely alone and continue to be a little guide?

The complete lack of obsession also led to his cognitive dummy having no goal and was probably wandering around the playfield.

Anyway, Shen Si wasn’t a person who was looking for death, so He Xin guessed his cognitive dummy would be enjoying the scenery in the playfield.

Walking through the alley, He Xin took off his glasses and shook off the water on them, then he sighed, “Ning Yangze, if it were you, where would you be hiding?”

Ning Yangze paused somewhat subtly before he looked around, “If it were me, it would probably be in some corner where I wouldn’t be seen, I’ve done training and know some dead corners better.”

“Dead corners?” He Xin looked around, then he pointed to a corner, “Then look for the dead corner.”

Ning Yangze himself couldn’t see his cognitive dummy, so the whole time he needed He Xin to see it, and so they searched the whole alley, but they didn’t find the missing cognitive dummy. On the way they met a few members of the organization of the Special Unit, they didn’t look nervous, but in the report, someone said that some of the cognitive dummies were shattered.

In the group member’s account, those whose cognitive dummies were shattered would shatter along with the cognitive dummy and turn into a pile of glass, without exception.

“So, such a dangerous thing must be put under the watchful eye.” He Xin continued to walk forward, “Make sure no one else shatters.”

Ning Yangze put his hands in his jacket pockets. He had no problem with He Xin’s statement and just walked past. Suddenly, Ning Yangze saw a very small corner that was very inconspicuous and also looked dark because of the back shade, but this was undoubtedly a perfect dark corner, not only could he see others, but it was also not easy to be found.

“He Xin, here.” Ning Yangze pulled He Xin as he pointed to that spot, “Go look at that place.”

Looking at the small dark place, He Xin and Ning Yangze looked at each other, then he carefully walked over to it, and just as he walked inside, He Xin saw a familiar person shrinking inside.

It was ‘Ning Yangze’.

“Here it is.” He Xin’s eyes lit up, “It’s really hiding in a corner like this.”

Ning Yangze couldn’t see anything, and he held his hands to his chest with a little peculiarity on his face, “But why would he find a place to hide?”

“Yeah, why would he hide?” He Xin looked at the dummy shrunken in the corner, “Can you tell me a little about why?”

The dummy lifted his head, he looked at He Xin, and had the look and feel of Ning Yangze. He stood up from the corner, not forgetting to pat the dust on his body, looking very leisurely and calm, not at all distressed by the current situation.

“Why wouldn’t I hide? Isn’t this a normal thing?” The dummy said this, “Because I’m worried that I will be broken.”

He Xin faintly stared, “You hid because you were afraid of being broken by others?”

“Of course.” The dummy leaned against the wall, “If I get broken I’ll die, not only I’ll die, he’ll die too, so I’ll hide so that we won’t both die.”

Pausing, He Xin pondered for a moment, “Surprisingly, I don’t know what to say.”

Ning Yangze looked at He Xin a little strangely, “Ah, what did he say? You surprisingly don’t know what to say?”

The dummy came out from the corner, he looked around as if he was looking for a new hiding place.

“He said he hid because he didn’t want to be broken.” He Xin looked to Ning Yangze, “Just, I didn’t expect you to be such a thoughtful person.”

Ning Yangze: … “Why do I feel like you’re scolding me?”

“No.” He Xin shook his head, “Only literally, no other meaning.”

He Xin watched as the dummy found a new hiding place and walked out from in front of them to hide inside, He Xin followed with Ning Yangze and watched him from the edge of the dummy’s new hiding place, the dummy shrunk inside with unblinking eyes and looked very settled.

“Hey, Ning Yangze, if you’re allowed to hide in a dead corner like this, you’ve probably run into something?” He Xin asked in a small voice.

Ning Yangze looked at those things for a moment before answering with some not so sure answer, “Probably… When you encounter danger to the point where you need to protect yourself.”

After hearing Ning Yangze’s answer, He Xin felt as if something had lit up inside him, and in that instant, he seemed to understand why the dummy had chosen to leave and hide in a safe place where no one would probably be able to find him if Ning Yangze didn’t know himself well enough.

By doing so, the dummy was protecting himself.

“So, my perceived dummy ran away and hid because he wanted to protect himself?” Ning Yangze suddenly spoke.

He Xin looked at Ning Yangze, “You know?”

“It’s not hard to guess, because it’s simple, he was born from my cognition, so, he is me, and of course I know my own thoughts.” Ning Yangze leaned against the wall, “At first it actually really didn’t react, but now that I think about it, it’s quite true. To be honest, whether in the unlimited flow world or now, my thoughts have always been about living, I’m really quite afraid of dying, worried that I won’t be able to leave, worried that I’ll actually die here. Even if I did prepare for death, I would still want to be safe and alive, it’s human nature, it’s not something to be ashamed of.”

He Xin looked at him, “So, your obsession is actually to stay alive, to not hurt others and still be safe, so you find some safe corner to hide in.”

“Yeah, I actually thought of it this way, looking for a place to hide in the playfield until the end of the game, only just thinking about it without ever practicing it.” Ning Yangze laughed a little, “Sounds a little cowardly, right? But I can’t help it, it’s the heart of wanting to live that keeps me going. And to actually come back to the real world alive.”

It’s not the best to be a hero with the belief of certain death, the strongest one, he must have the strongest determination, firm belief, as well as the will to definitely come back alive.

Only by living can you have it all.

The cognitive dummy shrinking in the corner stood up, and looked at Ning Yangze with a bright smile on his face. “Wanting to protect yourself even while protecting others, the belief of staying alive is stronger than the fear of certain death, tending to avoid harm before danger comes. That’s you, and that’s me.”

Ning Yangze looked at the person in front of him, and after a moment he patted He Xin’s shoulder, “Hey, I see it! I can see the cognitive dummy now.”

“Got it.” He Xin swept his hand away in disgust, “Then only the last step is needed.”

Break the cognitive dummy, then you can leave from this playfield.

… 

“I am indestructible, I will not die, no!” Green vines twisted on the ground, Parasite’s consciousness was all over this broken-root Devil’s Silk Thread. As long as the Devil’s Silk Thread was still alive, his consciousness would not perish, and as long as his consciousness was indestructible, he could stay alive!

Even if the root system was broken, it didn’t matter. He just needed to go to Shen Si, snatch away his body, and with the ability to control time, just turn back time. Then he could get his broken root system back, this was the only chance to live, and this was what he must do!

He wouldn’t simply die.

It was still raining, the green vines were huddled in the ground, and just then he heard a voice, the voice of Shen Si.

“You ask me where I would want to go, I don’t know, this place is strange.” Shen Si’s voice was calm, he had his hands in his pockets and his steps weren’t too slow.

Jian Nian followed him, “Even if it’s your perceived self, generally the place you like, he will also like.”

“Really? I would probably choose a place with more plants.”

“The plants here are all fake, I remember you always disliked fake decorative plants.”

Shen Si nodded as he looked to Jian Nian, “So where do you think I’ll be?”

Jian Nian: … 

Although it was nice to be asked by Shen Si where he thought he would be, which meant that Shen Si felt he knew him, Jian Nian really had no idea where Shen Si would be.

Apart from plants, Shen Si only had a few hobbies. Many times Shen Si’s actions followed a pattern, going to school and going home to do his homework, he was very planned, and there was nothing special that took time to do, Jian Nian could be very sure that his only hobby was plants.

Just then Shen Si stopped in his tracks, he brought his feet up and proceeded to look at the green leaves on the ground.

“Devil’s Silk Thread?”

“What?” Jian Nian walked over, “Did you say Devil’s Silk Thread?”

Before the two could react, green vines came out of the ground and Parasite lunged towards Shen Si with all his strength, this was his last chance and his only chance to live.

Tick, time stopped.

Shen Si squatted down, he looked at the Devil’s Silk Thread that sprang out from the ground, and in a good mood, he plucked the leaves on it.

“Survivor’s psychic ability is a plant, and can manipulate plants to perform ability effects, so what is the difference between such a plant and an ordinary plant?” Shen Si’s voice sounded in a good mood. “I wanted to see it before, but I didn’t say anything because Mr. Bai was so persistent, and I didn’t expect to meet it here.”

Putting the plucked leaves in his hand, Shen Si stepped over the Devil’s Silk Thread on the ground and walked forward. Time ran again, the Devil’s Silk Thread pounced on emptiness. Jian Nian looked strangely at Shen Si who had already walked far away.

Just now, time was suspended again?

It seemed that Shen Si’s control of this ability was already very good.