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Chapter 39: Cheng Yan’s Memory

Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: Sulo


When they returned home with the ice lamp, the rest of the family was still awake. Lin Mo put the ice lamp in the yard. After washing and changing, Cheng Yang and Lin Mo lay on the bed. Earlier that day, they slept all afternoon and Lin Mo was not sleepy now.

When the lights were turned off, Cheng Yan lay back in bed with Lin Mo in his arms, and the two chatted in low voices. After chatting for a long time, Cheng Yan had his previous dreams and part of his recovered memories flash through his mind. Cheng Yan hesitated for a long time before finally deciding to talk to Lin Mo about it.

“Momo… I said before that I have no memory of the past…”

“Mn, yes you did, what’s the matter?” Lin Mo asked casually.

“Not long ago I recovered some memories.”

When Lin Mo heard this, he was stunned and froze. His closed eyes flashed with all kinds of complex emotions. The room was dark, plus Lin Mo had been buried in his chest, so Cheng Yan didn’t notice.

“Mn, is it… What do you remember? For example, your name and identity?” Lin Mo asked after a long silence.

Recovered some of his memory? Was this the restored Cheng Yan and not the current one? Will he spoil him as much as he did now? Would he suddenly forget everything between them now that he restored his previous memory? Lin Mo’s brain was suddenly filled with these guesses that gave him a headache.

“Momo, what’s the matter with you?” Cheng Yan looked down at him, wondering. As soon as Cheng Yan heard Lin Mo speak, he felt something was wrong with his mood.

Lin Mo buried his head in Cheng Yan’s arms, murmuring, “… I’m okay. Tell me about you first. What memories have been recovered? Do you know who you were before?” 

Cheng Yan’s whole body was covered with ferocious scars and he had internal power and knew martial arts. The rules in his life were like a soldier’s self-discipline so it was impossible for him to be an ordinary person.

“If the young general in my dream is me, the current Emperor should be my elder brother.”

General… Current Emperor… Elder brother… So Cheng Yan was a prince? A royal…

“Cheng Yan, if you have someone else you love, I will leave you.” Lin Mo looked up at him with a stiff face. He liked Cheng Yan very much, so he couldn’t stand the presence of other people around him. Lin Mo could be the only one. If Cheng Yan fully recovered his memory, and he had someone else, he could only choose to leave.

At the very least, he could still remember the time when they were together.

When Cheng Yan heard Lin Mo say the word ‘leave,’ his heart stagnated and he subconsciously locked Lin Mo in his arms. “I like you alone, no one else.” 

Leave? He wouldn’t give Lin Mo a chance to leave him.

“I went to the border with the army when I was fourteen years old. I didn’t come back to the Imperial City until I was seventeen years old. I didn’t stay for a long time when I went back. So there is no one else around me, or in my mansion, except servants and bodyguards.” Cheng Yan explained.

When he returned at the age of seventeen, he received a letter from his elder brother. He just didn’t know what happened when he turned eighteen that led to his injury and loss of memory. It was only a year later that he recovered, so he was now nineteen.

It was a pity that since he woke up that day, he didn’t continue that dream, and he didn’t know what happened after he led his soldiers to the Imperial City.

“Fourteen years old… Then your injuries…”

Fourteen years old, he was still a teenager, and he went to war? Lin Mo had some difficulty breathing at the thought of Cheng Yan’s scars.

Cheng Yan turned sideways, buried his head in Lin Mo’s neck, and whispered, “I’m okay. It doesn’t hurt now.” 

Lin Mo reached out and touched his head. He didn’t talk. It didn’t hurt now. But what about then? At that time, he would have been on the verge of death many times. How did he persist? Lin Mo thought, maybe in some way, he and Cheng Yan had similar experiences.

Seeing that he hadn’t spoken for a long time, Cheng Yan was a little anxious. He leaned his head against Lin Mo’s forehead and stared into his eyes, “So… Don’t leave.” 

The darkness of the room did not obstruct Cheng Yan’s vision. He saw clearly that there was pain in Momo’s eyes when he looked at him, “As long as you don’t have anyone else, I won’t leave…”

“There’s no one else.” Cheng Yan was relieved to get his answer. The strength he used to hold Lin Mo’s waist tightened. There was no one else except Lin Mo.

“Do you think I’m selfish?” Lin Mo whispered. It suddenly occurred to him whether it was ancient or modern times, it was normal for men to have multiple wives and concubines, let alone royalty.

“No.” When they got married, he promised Lin Cheng and Lin Xiu that Lin Mo would be the only one in his life, now and in the future.

“But I can’t have children. You are doomed to have no children in the future.”

If the daughter-in-law of an ordinary family couldn’t have children, the man would surely find another again, let alone if they were from the royal family. Cheng Yan may also be the prince. Would the people in the palace tolerate that there were no descendants from Cheng Yan? Maybe the courtiers would marry their daughters to him for some benefit, and the Emperor or the Empress Dowager would push back…

Lin Mo’s mind now flashed all kinds of novels or scenes from Gong Dou’s TV series. He felt that one of them would happen to him.

“You told me before we got married that you couldn’t have children, and I didn’t care about that.” Cheng Yan said patiently. For Cheng Yan, it was better to have no children. Without children, Momo would focus only on him. Without children, Momo’s love for him would not be divided.

“But…” Lin Mo looked at him and stopped talking.

“Momo, what are you worried about?”

Lin Mo wanted to talk, but he didn’t know where to start. Finally, he buried his head in the quilt and kept silent.

“Say it, will you? I don’t know if you don’t say it. Today is the first day of the New Year. We should be happy.” Cheng Yan raised the quilt a little, kissed Lin Mo’s forehead and coaxed him in a low voice.

Lin Mo thought about it and said, “You don’t care if you have children, but what about the others? The Emperor, the Empress Dowager, and the ministers in the court who are interested in your interests, I think they will force you to compromise.” 

Cheng Yan explained, “Although I have only recovered a part of my memory, I am sure that Imperial Brother will not interfere in these things. As for others… Momo, have you forgotten who I am? They can bring it up, but I can refuse it.” 

If it was really not possible, he just needed to give an example. After all, all the people in the country knew that Prince Cheng was cruel and bloodthirsty. If he was not cruel, it would damage his prestige in front of the people.

Cheng Yan held Lin Mo, his chin resting on his husband’s head as his right hand gently soothed along his back. However, the corners of his mouth were slightly hooked, and his eyes were more and more profound.

How could he be bullied?

Cheng Yan appeased him for a long time, then asked in a low voice, “Have you figured it out?” 

“Mn… Thinking about it.” Lin Mo slowly took half of his head out of the quilt and rubbed Cheng Yan’s chest carefully.

“Is there anything else you want to ask? If not, you need to go to bed, or you won’t be able to get up tomorrow.” Cheng Yan said, touching his head.

Lin Mo looked up at him and asked, “Do you remember why you got hurt and lost your memory?” 

Although they were at the border of several countries, he should not have escaped here or fallen to the bottom of the cliff even if he was encircled and suppressed by the enemy. Unless he was chased and had run here, and then jumped off the cliff when he was forced into a desperate situation. Perhaps, there were other entrances to the three mountains around Daling Village, and Cheng Yan may have escaped from the other side of the mountain.

“I haven’t remembered that yet.” There was some frustration in Cheng Yan’s tone. In addition to the experience in his dream, he remembered many things, many of which were the experience of killing enemies at the border, and the rest were from childhood.

“There is still one or two months to go. My Second Brother is going to the Imperial City for a scientific examination. Then we will go with my Second Brother. Maybe you will recollect more of your memory before that time.”

“Mn, listen to you.”

Lin Mo thought since Cheng Yan continued remembering past events, it could be related to his spiritual water. Since seeing the wounds on Cheng Yan, Lin Mo was worried that there may be a dark wound left in his body, so every day he put spring water in his food and drinks. It seemed that spiritual water had played an effective role. Perhaps, the amount of spiritual water for Cheng Yan could be increased.

Cheng Yan regularly rubbed Lin Mo’s back to make him fall asleep, and waited for Lin Mo’s breathing to settle down before slowly stopping.

Return to the Imperial City? It was really time to go back. He had to find out what happened before he lost his memory. It was also possible that all this was in his previous plan, except for the accidental memory loss.

He hoped that, in these two months, he could remember other things. Cheng Yan hugged the man in his arms and closed his eyes to sleep.

On the morning of the second day of the New Year, Lin Mo was awakened by Cheng Yan. Changing into the red clothes that Mama Lin prepared for them last night, Lin Mo washed and went to breakfast with Cheng Yan.

As soon as he entered the room, Lin Mo saw a flood of red inside, especially the four children in his family. Their clothes were pure red, without any other hues.

Lin Mo stopped in place, pursed his mouth and resisted the impulse to laugh. He felt that the clothes on himself and Cheng Yan were not so eye-catching, at least they had other colors, red was only part of them.

“Fourth Uncle, you and uncle Cheng are also wearing red clothes!” When Lin Xiaoya saw Lin Mo coming in, she said this with a smile like a proper little wife dressed in red.

“Yes.” Lin Mo’s eyebrows and eyes were slightly bent, laughing.

This dress on Lin Mo was found by Mama Lin and sister-in-law Lin after visiting many ready-made clothes shops. The style was still relatively new.

“Mom, why isn’t Fourth Brother dressed in all red? It’s too much to wear such red clothes. I feel uncomfortable.” Lin Xing naturally saw the clothes Fourth Brother and Brother Cheng were wearing, which were obviously better looking than his.

“You have to dress up for the new year. A-Chen hasn’t said anything. Why do you have so many opinions?” Mama Lin said as she filled Mo’ger’s bowl with rice balls.

Lin Chen: …

He still kept silent. Lin Chen didn’t speak. He looked down and ate the tangyuan. He didn’t hear anything else.

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14 Tell us your thoughts on the chapter.
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April 2, 2020 3:07 pm

Awwwwwww, they are so cute together.


April 2, 2020 4:14 pm

How come he is so sure that he can’t get pregnant, did he do a full body check on himself?

April 2, 2020 5:54 pm

thank you for the chapter

So now we know who he is..

April 2, 2020 6:53 pm

Thank you for the chapter. I wonder if Momo will ever tell his story.

April 2, 2020 8:15 pm

Soooooooo much feelings and wow cheng yan! He seen different but more original(?) compare to before. I hope everything will be okay!

Thank you for the update!

April 2, 2020 11:33 pm

Thanks for all your work translating the chapters. The chapters number hasn’t been updated in NU, just to inform.

April 3, 2020 1:05 am

I can smell intrigues. I bet someone didn’t want Cheng Yan to come back or to live because he was seen as a threat to something or someone. Also Momo don’t be so pessimistic.

Thank you for the chapters!!!

April 3, 2020 8:39 am

Thanks for the chapter! It’s a heavy identity… Better stick to ordinary life, where his family won’t be in danger from the snake pit in the capital…

May 18, 2020 10:23 am

Thanks for the chapter! 😊😍

August 18, 2020 8:52 am

Re-reading the story..thank you Translator san for your hard u guys much😍

September 4, 2020 7:43 am

Did some one try to kill out ML.

November 21, 2022 3:05 am

Did his emperor brother not search for him in a year? So many more questions. Also LM is right to be concerned because who knows who will pop up. Thank you for the translation.

Matcha Au Lait
Matcha Au Lait
January 8, 2023 1:29 am

Thank you for this chapter!

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