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A quick note from Addis: To celebrate my birthday today, I am celebrating for all of our readers by releasing this short novel. It’s seven parts total with different stories for each chapter. They do start out short, then get longer and longer. Hopefully, you guys like these! 1 to 4 will release today, 5 tomorrow, 6 Sunday, and 7 Monday.

Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: KarateChopMonkey

 

I’ve got a big problem, Ryder thought.

He used to be one of the personal assistants to the CEO of Parson Tech. The guy had a bunch of secretaries and a bunch of personal affairs assistants. Generally, Ryder was a driver. After four or five years at the company, Parson’s weird schedule was physically and mentally exhausting, and Ryder’s stomach was getting worse. That’s why one day his brain short-circuited and he said something he shouldn’t have, so he was dismissed.

Few people employed full-time drivers nowadays. But Ryder had few other skills and wasn’t able to find a job for a long time. He went to work all kinds of jobs, but his life didn’t improve.

That day, he drank too much and was encouraged by several guys who he had been hanging out with… And then he did something very crazy.

He planned to kidnap the daughter of his former boss and extort ransom.

He’d met the girl and drove her to school before. Now, she should have graduated high school. Ryder would have to act immediately without any time to calm down his mind… because the girl was in the same inn! She had blonde hair, heavy make-up, wearing a sophisticated blazer and straight skirt. She looked more mature and beautiful than when she was in high school.

Ryder’s action was very smooth, he easily brought out the already intoxicated girl, – he remembered her name was Gaby – then he got the drunk girl in the car, tied her up, sealed her mouth with tape, and sat in the driver’s seat, reeking of alcohol, swearing at the world while driving.

Ryder’s brother had a garage that was in the process of changing hands because of business problems, and he knew that there was a basement under one of the houses that was not used usually. The location was remote and no one would come in the next few days. He went there, then took Gaby out and put her on the floor.

Ryder was all about the money now, plus he has drunk a little too much before, and he has almost lost the calm that people in society should have… but after all, he wasn’t a real villain. He didn’t want to hurt Gaby. He just wanted to scare her.

When the girl woke up, all the makeup on her face had rubbed off. She stared at Ryder innocently, and Ryder appeared as evil as he possibly could. He tore off the sealing tape, said a lot of ferocious words, and asked the girl to call her family. The girl finally said, “My mobile phone is on me…”

She spoke in a low voice, like the sound of a mosquito, and Ryder felt that his intimidation had played a role. However, he always felt that the impression of Gaby and her voice were not quite the same as he remembered.

With a ferocious expression, Ryder went to grab her phone, but he couldn’t find it here nor there. When he looked up, he found that the girl was looking at him with a smile.

Then, suddenly, Gaby chuckled. Ryder retreated like his fingers were electrified, because… as soon as the other person spoke out loud, he immediately realized: no, this is not Gaby… This is a man!

“Who are you? Did my dad bankrupt you? Or do you just want to kidnap his children because he’s rich?” The man in women’s clothes asked, “I’m really sorry that I’m not an eight year old boy. I’m so big. Did it take you a lot of effort to kidnap me?”

“Who the hell are you?!” roared Ryder.

“Me? Alan Parson. You don’t even know who I am, yet you kidnapped me?”

Ryder stared at the man that looked exactly like Gaby. No, he didn’t look like her that much, now that some of the heavy makeup was gone. The last name is right, and he is so calm… Maybe he’s Gaby’s brother?

Ryder’s conjecture was right. Alan confessed that he and his sister were twins. They totally resembled each other when they were children, but they became less alike when they grew up. But miraculously, after putting on some smoky female makeup, Alan looked like Gaby again. When Alan guessed that Ryder was trying to kidnap Gaby, he laughed out loud even though he was tied up.

“Don’t feel sad, sir. Kidnapping me is the same, isn’t it?” When he had finished laughing, he said to Ryder with a twinkle in his eyes, “Well, let’s get back to business. Shall we?”

“What are you doing here?” Ryder was surprised.

“What else? Take out my cell phone. You’re not stupid enough to want to use your own? My phone still has charge, so you can call, quickly take it out.”

Ryder nodded and touched him again. Now that he knew that this guy was a man, he felt that the burden on him was lighter.

Suddenly, Alan raised his neck and gasped, and Ryder backed up in fright, “What are you doing?”

“You make me feel so comfortable…” Alan said, squinting like a cat.

After a brief confrontation, Alan returned to his normal tone, “Okay, touch it. I promise I won’t make a sound. You see, you’ve kidnapped me and you didn’t even let me hum as much as I wanted…”

Ryder looked bitterly for the phone again. Alan promised that his cell phone was on him, but Ryder hadn’t found it for a long time. Finally, the young boy told him out of the blue, “Ah, I remember, my phone is in my underwear. Quickly lift up my skirt!”

Ryder almost cried, but he wanted to maintain the dignity of the robber… so he continued to put on a very fierce look. When he found the damn cell phone, it was firmly wrapped in tight, highly elastic underpants, attached to a very hateful part.

Ryder looked at Alan in shock, and Alan laughed again, “Do you want to call my dad? As you can see I’m not a girl, nor am I a third sex person, so why are you acting like a fake gentleman? Come on, get it, get it.”

“Which normal person would put a cell phone here instead of a trouser pocket or backpack?!” said Ryder bitterly.

“Ah, don’t you understand? The ringtone of my mobile phone is silent and it’s on vibrate. It’s interesting when someone calls…”

It was at this point that even after drinking a lot of wine, Ryder felt a chill run down his back. He thought, now I got myself in big trouble.

He took out the mobile phone very carefully, holding it firmly, while the other ridiculed him, “If you really don’t want to hold it, you can go to a convenience store and buy cotton balls with alcohol.” Then he calmed down and remembered the hatred for his former boss, the house that was behind on rent, and his girlfriend who dumped him… so he put on the ferocious expression again. He dialed a number and held the phone to Alan’s face.

“You are so stupid that you don’t even have a voice transformer? Want me to do it?” Before the phone was picked up, Alan said, “Well, I’ll just say it then. How much do you want?”

 

“200,000…” 1 Ryder answered without thinking. This was the sum of money he needed and the compensation he thought he deserved.

Alan said in shock, “What? You kidnapped me for so little money? Are you out of your mind?”

At that point, the phone went through, and Ryder heard a woman answering the phone.

“Hi, my sweetheart, Rovenika,” Alan said, “Can you get the Hellmaster or the Abyss Demon on the phone? Or let the Dark Devil come…”

The woman on the phone answered coldly. Listening to the blonde’s way of speaking, Ryder wiped his face hard. He remembered Rovenika, the housekeeper of the Parsons, who seemed to be a poor woman who deserved pity.

After a while, the phone was picked up again. This time, the voice of the speaker was not loud enough, so Ryder couldn’t hear clearly. Sadly, he didn’t know where the hands-free button of the phone was.

“Hello, Dark Devil. How many adventurers have you killed today? Oh, no, no, no, don’t be angry. I called to tell you something serious…”

Listening to Alan, Ryder murmured in his heart, it would be hard for anyone not to be angry with you.

“Listen, sweetheart, I’ve been kidnapped. It’s true! I’ve never cheated anyone with this kind of thing, have I? I’m now tied up in a dark and terrible basement. Really, the kidnapper is holding the phone…” At this point, Alan also raised his eyes and gave Ryder a wink, while Ryder’s jaw dropped. 

“He wants 200,000, or he will rape and kill me…”

Ryder went so soft that he almost threw away the cell phone. Whether it was 200,000 or rape and murder, he did not mention anything like that!

“Regarding the payment terms and whatnot, wait for the email. By the way, don’t call the police. Really, they have dozens of people who are professionals. If they get angry, they will kill me in an indescribable way, sell all my organs, chop me up, and feed my body to the stray dogs in the city! It’s terrible, isn’t it! You must save me, I love you.”

Then, the pale-faced Ryder heard the other side curse, “Fuck you! Which dog will eat your body?!” Then he hung up the phone first.

“And that’s done.” Alan gave a brilliant smile.

“That’s what you call ‘done’? Who is that devil?”

“The Dark Devil? That’s my sister, the one you wanted to kidnap. The Devil and I talk to each other like this, as well as with Hellmaster and the Abyss Demon, who are our parents by the way.”

Ryder didn’t know what to do next. According to Alan, he should let them know about the trading place by mobile email. But he was only one person. How could he get the money while also keeping this hostage in check?

This time, it was Alan again who provided him with the method, “It would be okay to ask them to transfer the money into my account and then hold me hostage until you’ve withdrawn the cash. If you ask for the money to yours, you would be exposed, right? And, if you withdraw the money yourself, you’ll be caught on camera. So I asked them to send it to my account. Don’t look at me like that. My family gives me some pocket money, but they won’t let me have 200,000 in my account. Of course, if you force me, I can take out the little bit that belongs to me as well.”

Although he had no experience in kidnapping, Ryder knew very well that this kind of strange victim was very hard to come across. Thanks to Alan, Ryder’s sobered up now and he kind of regretted this kidnapping… Now the blackmail calls have been made. I’m afraid there’s no stopping now.

… 

Under Alan’s instructions, they first changed their hiding place, and then made sure that the phone was turned off and the battery was removed when no short mail or phone calls were made – all this to prevent from being located. Then there was the matter of finding a place to withdraw money from.

They moved to a woodland hut, then (at Alan’s command) moved to a country farm barn, then ran to another town dozens of kilometers away from the city and parked in a quiet, about-to-be-demolished parking building.

“Look, they put the money into my account, and they most likely didn’t call the police.” In the car, Alan was still tied up, while Ryder was checking the cell phone – it was true.

“There’s a bank in town and a few ATMs. I have to get the money, so you have to let me go.” Alan said.

Ryder leaned through the gap between the front seats, threatening with a fruit knife in one hand and undoing the rope with the other. As he untied the rope, he found that he had drunk too much at that time, and the method of binding was not very good. It was not tight enough and wasn’t done properly. The other party should have been able to break free.

The young blonde who had been untied let out a long sigh, and then calmly said, “Hey, give me a massage.”

“What?” asked Ryder.

“I’ve been tied up by you for so long! I didn’t sleep well or lie down! When I went to the bathroom at some point, you weren’t even willing to free my feet, and told me to jump! My hands and feet are numb now, how can I walk to withdraw money?”

Ryder pondered bitterly for a moment and finally gave in. He crawled in through the back door and rubbed the other’s arms and legs.

“Here… And here. Ah! Yes! Yes! There! Go on!… Slow down! Ah! Push! So comfortable! I can’t…”

“Shut up!” Ryder was almost crying.

Alan finally had enough of playing with him. They got out of the car together, walked out of the parking building through the small door and went to the bank near the supermarket. Alan’s Nubuck bag (women’s, of course) contained simple cosmetics, and before he set off, he fixed himself up to look less flashy.

After going outside, Alan asked Ryder to hold him. He said they would look more like a lovey-dovey couple instead of a kidnapper and hostage. Ryder had no choice but to agree.

Alan took out the money without problem, in several installments. He withdrew some once at the bank, then went back to the ATM in the supermarket, and then – after asking Ryder to hug him like before – they went to the station ATM at the other intersection to make another withdrawal.

Before leaving the car, Alan removed all the contents of his lady’s bag, and now it was full of cash. He got into Ryder’s arms. Although he was not short, plus he would be even taller in high-heels, he somehow had a way to look smaller. Ryder was frozen. He was practically pulled into the parking building by the arm by Alan.

While Ryder was counting the money, Alan kicked off his high heels, tucked in his legs on the seat and looked at him, “I took nearly 300,000. You see, I actually took out my own money for you. Don’t look at me like that. I’m Parson’s son, of course I have more pocket money. So if you only want 200,000 yuan, you might as well ask me directly. But now that you have all the money…”

Suddenly, he stopped. Ryder also whipped his head up. They heard the sound of a car.

The parking building was next to an already closed-down shopping mall that was to be demolished. Those who would come here were either officials or lawbreakers, or some teenagers who had nothing better to do. No matter who it was, Ryder didn’t want to run into them.

The car seemed to drive in and then stop. Ryder’s car was parked behind a partition wall, so they should not be discovered for a while. Then, both Ryder and Alan heard the door of the car open, and the sound of footsteps… and also crying and cursing.

A little girl was crying and a man was threatening to cut off her nose if she didn’t stop. There was another man who was asking his partner, “Did they really not call the police?” It sounded like there were three of them besides the little girl.

This was a real gang of kidnappers! After having that realization, Ryder thought that he was also a real kidnapper, even though his hostage was a little special.

He slipped the money under the seat and listened more carefully. Just as he leaned out, Alan’s cell phone in his coat pocket fell to the ground with a ‘thud’.

The sounds on the other side disappeared immediately. Ryder knew that this was not good. The real kidnappers would come to investigate, and there wasn’t even a door between them.

Suddenly, Alan got out of the car, went to the front seat and grabbed Ryder, while holding a roll of tape in his hand. He said succinctly, “Pretend to top me.” Then he quickly put a piece of tape over his mouth, and nimbly laid down with his hands behind him, pretending to be tied up, also blocking the phone.

“Who’s there?!” The sound of footsteps came nearer. Alan urged with his eyes and Ryder had no choice now.

A big bald man with a gun approached cautiously. At first, he thought that some homeless people were hiding here. But when he saw the image before him, he was very surprised.

He saw a man with messy hair and wrinkled clothes, who looked very desolate at first sight, lying on a blonde with duct tape on her mouth. The blonde’s hands seemed to be tied, and her eyebrows knitted together, looking weak and helpless.

“What the fuck are you… doing?” asked the bald man.

Ryder looked up and stammered, “I… I am in… In…”

There was no need for an answer. Normal people could see what he was doing. The baldy felt it was quite comical that a group of criminals in an abandoned parking building encountered another criminal – it looked like a farce.

But baldy didn’t want to ruin their major business because of this lame pervert, so he held up his gun regardless. “Stand up, put your hands on your head and face the wall, quick!” He ordered.

Ryder was terrified, but Alan told him with his eyes to do as told. He stood up slowly and went to the wall. Alan lay there, trembling slightly, sobbing, without shoes, with his straight skirt lifted up a little.

“My God, guess what I found?” Baldy yelled to his companion. 

People on the other side responded, “Don’t play charades. Who is it?”

The bald man looked at the “Blonde Beauty” – her beautiful blue eyes, her high (fake) chest under her shirt, and her slender legs in high stockings. He squatted down, put his gun on the (fake) chest and said with a smile, “Hey, beauty, it looks like you’re in trouble?”

Alan looked at him while acting out the pleading eyes skillfully, and Baldy began to put his hands on his legs. Ryder looked through the gap between his arms. Somehow, he had the urge to take the risk and stop Baldy. At that moment he almost forgot that the idea had come from Alan.

“Hey! Don’t touch my prey!” Ryder did his best to find the right words. “I haven’t touched her yet! Whoever you are, you can’t…”

“I can.” Baldy turned to face Ryder with the gun, lifted Alan’s skirt and put his hand under it. And then he… froze.

He stared into those charming eyes and looked as if his world view had been refreshed. In that short moment, Alan suddenly twisted his legs around Baldy’s neck, pressed his upper body and arms, and with a flip knocked Baldy down.

The gun in Baldy’s hand fell with a ‘thud’ and misfired, but because it wasn’t aimed, the shot hit the corner of the wall, which made Ryder scream in fear.

Alan used his knuckle technique to push the bald man down and take control. The gun in his hand has fallen to the side. The mobile phone next to them, which had just been hidden, lit up. 

The two kidnappers on the other side had noticed something was wrong even before they heard the gunshot. Ryder was squatting by the wall, and he knew that the other two were coming over as well, but Alan was still calm.

A few seconds passed, but there was still no movement from the robbers on the other side. At first, while Alan was swiftly subduing Baldy, Ryder clearly heard loud footsteps, curses, and the screams of the little girl. Now everything was quiet; the girl was still whimpering, but she wasn’t screaming anymore.

Ryder approached Alan, picked up the gun and pointed it at Baldy. Then, as the footsteps finally started up again, he looked nervously in that direction.

A young man with dark hair came over first. He seemed to be less than twenty years old, with short, neatly combed back hair, wearing a neat suit and a black wool coat. He had one hand in his pocket and had a slight frown, his beautiful face resembling an impatient murderous spirit. And Ryder thought he seemed a little familiar.

Two men and a woman followed the young man with black hair. All three men were dressed in plain and simple clothes, and their expressions were equally cold.

Alan let go of Baldy and stood up, and the three men bent over to pick up Baldy, then held him firmly in place.

“What are you doing?” The black haired youth approached and reached for the tape on Alan’s mouth.

Ryder was surprised to find that he… No… she was a woman. She was Gaby! Parson’s daughter, the schoolgirl who he used to drive to school!

“Well, I’m glad you found me. Thank you so much for tracking me, honey, you are my light…” Alan said as he straightened his clothes.

“Enough…” Gaby glared at him then noticed Ryder nearby.

“Long time no see, Mr. Ryder Schiffman. Do you remember me? I’m Gaby. Alan, this bastard must have caused you a lot of trouble…” She smiled like a gentleman. “You look surprised? Also, yes… I cut my hair short and dyed it black. It’s just a little hobby.”

Ryder thought, I’m not surprised that you cut and dyed your hair. Even if you dyed your hair multicolored, I wouldn’t be so shocked.

In front of him were the pair of Parson twins: the elder brother was dressed in women’s clothes, with long golden hair, painted makeup and silk stockings. He was very sharp in a fight, but at the same time, just by standing or with a twist of her hips he could turn into a social butterfly. The younger sister, with her short black sleek hair, and a suit that gave the impression of indifference and seriousness, looked like a young Mafia family heir.

Ryder was suddenly a little grateful to Old Parson for dismissing him. He didn’t want to serve these people anymore at all.

Gaby, who was tracking her brother, had been hiding her people not far away. However, Ryder’s abilities were not enough to find them.

The group Gaby took down were indeed kidnappers, their accomplices in the city, who were supposed to take the money, have been arrested by the police, and this group of people were also taken away in a police car that just arrived.

But the problem was, that the twins and Ryder had to make statements, and they had to explain what they were doing here.

Of course, the police easily believed them. Their answer to the police was: Alan Parson and one of his father’s former employees were going to elope and get married in a country where same-sex marriage was allowed. They were careful to avoid the eyes of their families and have stolen a little cash. But sister Gaby Parson knew about this, and she used her resources to follow her brother to try and persuade him not to give up his family responsibilities.

Firstly, because of the status of the Parson family, and secondly because the elder brother and younger sister in men’s wear were sitting in front of them, the police officers all looked spiteful in the beginning, but eventually shook Gaby’s hand and wished them well in resolving their domestic dispute.

“Is that all your own money?” While sitting in Gaby’s business class car, Ryder asked Alan.

“Yes, of course, it’s actually more than that… Or did you think she’d actually give me money?” Alan said.

“Put your legs together, Alan,” Gaby said with a cold face. “Since you’re in lady’s clothes, don’t sit like a drunk.”

Alan obediently changed into a cross-legged position and tilted his head to look at Ryder, whose face was as gray as death.

“What’s wrong with you? Are you sad? Think I lied to you?” He poked Ryder with his elbow. “But you were the one who kidnapped me in the first place. I think kidnapping is a crime, but cheating you is not. And it’s good you didn’t kidnap the real Gaby, or you would have been beaten to death. We learned all kinds of fighting from our mother when we were young, just to prevent this sort of thing. However, I have never been as serious about it as she was, and I have been beaten up by her and cried.” 

“Learning to fight from your mother?” Ryder more strongly felt that this family was terrible. When he was a driver, he had met the Mistress. She liked to wear very retro dresses, and her long hair was braided in a medieval style. She looked like the type that would still curtsy to men today.

Instead of responding to this question, Alan put his arm around Ryder’s shoulder, “By the way, I understand the resentment between you and my father. You’re lucky, I’m short of a personal assistant at the moment. I’m going to hire you. Although, with the strength of my company, I can’t give you the same treatment as before, I can add two months’ salary every year on the basis of your previous salary. Your other bonuses would be the same as before, with guaranteed vacation. The company you’d join is not Parson Tech, but a company that Gaby and I run together. What do you think?”

Ryder opened his mouth and did not answer. Alan went on, “The scope of work is to help me drive, to pretend to be my bodyguard when I wear men’s clothes, and my boyfriend when I wear women’s clothes… And help me with some paperwork.”

Ryder was actually moved, even though the Parsons were strange, and Alan was even stranger. Gaby gave her brother a sneer and said, “What. Are you in love with your kidnapper?”

“I haven’t fallen in love yet,” Alan continued to hug Ryder. “I’m just going to hire him first, and only after I decided whether or not to take care of him in the future will I consider sleeping with him…”

“Wait! I…” He got goosebumps all over his body, but Alan, the fair haired beauty, immediately made such a pitifully pleading expression at him, that he could not find the right words for a moment.

Next to him, Gaby, the beautiful woman in men’s clothing, was holding a tablet, and said, “Well, I had human resources transfer the kidnapper, Mr. Ryder Schiffman. Sir, you remember that you have a criminal record with us. You should serve your sentence well. My brother is a very abnormal person. He will treat you well.”

Gaby’s speech was illogical and terrifying, while Alan, with a delicate expression, nestled up to Ryder… Ryder wanted to cry and protest, but it seemed that there was no need to do so anymore.

 

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Translator Notes:

  1. 27,626.08 United States Dollar

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7 Tell us your thoughts on the chapter.
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WangXian31
June 11, 2021 4:08 pm

Well that was unexpected!
Thank you for the story.

Aleckincaid
Aleckincaid
June 12, 2021 2:20 am

a botched kidnapping…hahaha

Dio85
Dio85
June 12, 2021 1:48 pm

Completely unexpected! I mean seeing the person who was kidnapped be so active and involved was a hint, that something isn’t quite right. The end however was like what! Such a good read! Mathias twists are just really good! Now the kidnapper got himself into a bigger mess, it would have been nice to follow their story 🙂

Yhelia
Yhelia
June 12, 2021 8:28 pm

*lights candle* I wish the couple great happiness.

Alan is hilarious.

Khera
Khera
June 15, 2021 11:38 pm

It’s late but still want to say Happy Birthday!!!
And this story is idioticaly hilarious 😅

GaeaTiamat
GaeaTiamat
June 16, 2021 4:31 pm

Haha! This reminds me of a really old short story where two scoundrels kidnap a kid cause their broke and it is totally not what they expect. A fun twist on that theme. Thanks Addis!

Read our latest novel; He and It!

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