Mary Sue Chapter 25: Get your mind out of the gutter!

Translated by J.

Editor: Addis

Ye Xi froze where he stood. In the process of searching for ways out of his current predicament, many of Ye Xi’s already-scarce braincells perished in the battle. After racking his brains for a long while, Ye Xi anaemically exclaimed, “But I’m straight.”

Shen Xiulin looked at the rainbow-coloured liquid on his trousers and nodded, then replied in a deliberate tone, “Yes, I can tell.”

Meanwhile, as if unconvinced that Ye Xi was in enough distress already, Shen Xiulin used his index finger to scrape off the liquid from his trouser leg. He rubbed it against his thumb, then brought it to his nose for a deep sniff. Slightly flaring his nostrils as he inhaled, Shen Xiulin calmly reported, “Smells like flowers.”

“Aaaahh! Don’t smell that!” Ye Xi was so humiliated that his head simmered to a boil. He shot across the room in a single stride and disrespectfully slapped the chief executive’s hand away.

The smile on Shen Xiulin’s lips became more and more pronounced, it was clear that he could not hold it back any longer. He patted the seat next to him and used the same tone as he did when calling Ye Xi into his office for a scolding, “Sit down, let’s talk.”

“Screw you!” Ye Xi was so embarrassed that he had lost his mind. He sagged heavily into the sofa and bellowed with a head of fuzzy baby curls, “You’re a bully! Do you get a kick out of taunting me?!”

Having inadvertently crossed the line, the chief executive explained, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

“I’m about to cry.” Ye Xi pouted from the earlier insult, then gritted his teeth as he tried to control his emotions, “You should apologise and make it up to me.”

“I’m so sorry.” In an unprecedented feat, Shen Xiulin looked like he was at a loss for what to do. He shot up from the sofa and knelt in front of Ye Xi on one knee. Hastily reaching out to Ye Xi with both hands, then paused in mid-air with his fingers nervously outstretched. Like the brat who accidentally made the teacher’s pet cry in class, Shen Xiulin clumsily begged, “It was all my fault. Please don’t cry, I beg you!”

Ye Xi glowered at Shen Xiulin. As he watched his haughty, stony-faced boss kneel in front of him in a panic, he suddenly felt like laughing.

Shen Xiulin spluttered, “Please don’t cry, I’ll tell you a joke.”

From the perspective of ‘using jokes to conquer his target,’ the two of them were a perfect match. However, once he had spoken the words above, Shen Xiulin became quiet, “…”

A domineering CEO doesn’t know any jokes! ‘Cause that would be a joke in itself!

The corner of Ye Xi’s lips curved up by themselves, “Go on.”

Shen Xiulin pressed his lips together with uneasiness and slightly furrowed his brow. He began making up a story on the go, “Once upon a time, there was a boy named Xiao Ming.”

Ye Xi, “Then what happened…?”

Embarrassment was written all over Shen Xiulin’s handsome face, his voice gradually fading until it disappeared into an awkward silence, “One day, he…”

Seeing Shen Xiulin humiliated in a once-in-a-lifetime event, Mr. Ye Haha, who laughed easily, could no longer control himself. His looming tears had completely retreated as he bursted into laughter, “Hahahahaha!”

Even our Chief Executive has awkward moments like this!

Ye Xi felt like he had finally got his revenge.

“You don’t want to cry anymore?” Shen Xiulin carefully watched Ye Xi’s expression.

“No.” Ye Xi calmed down once he had laughed his fill. To hide his embarrassment from staining the chief executive’s trousers earlier, Ye Xi decided to strike first, “Why didn’t you do the quest properly just now?”

“Because I can’t help it anymore.” Shen Xiulin clasped Ye Xi’s right hand and held it in a firm grip. His voice was both anxious and gentle, “I’ve been meaning to tell you for a long time now that…”

Ye Xi had an ominous feeling that something big was about to happen, so he quickly interjected, “That you want to give me a promotion and a raise?”

“Mhm.” Shen Xiulin nodded seriously and continued in a stern voice, “Please consider the position of Mrs. CEO.”

Ye Xi’s eyes widened with disbelief. His heart pounded like a drum beat while his face flushed crimson, as if he had a thousand words choking in his throat. Finally, he stuttered, “N-No, thank you. P-Please give the position to someone more capable than me.”

As if imitating the electronic voice from the quest operating system, Shen Xiulin declared in a flat, mechanical tone, “Objection overruled. The domineering CEO has forced the promotion on you.”

“Sir, please wake up.” Ye Xi waved his hand in front of Shen Xiulin’s eyes. “We’ve all been turned gay by the system. We’ll go back to normal once we get back to the real world. Plus, didn’t you tell me you had a crush on someone when we had dinner that time? Please don’t be unfaithful, you should keep loving that person.”

Shen Xiulin captured Ye Xi’s wandering hand and pressed it against his lips. He replied, “You’re the one who should wake up, I have always been gay.”

Ye Xi looked as if he had been struck by lightning, “…”

Shen Xiulin declared outright, “And the person I like is you.”

Facing the single-celled organism before him, the chief executive had finally decided to stop beating around the bush.

“Fuck.” Ye Xi rolled his eyes into their sockets and collapsed onto the sofa.

Shen Xiulin spoke with a rueful smile, “Get up, Ye Xi. Your acting skills are terrible.”

Since he had failed at pretending to pass out, Ye Xi sat up, “Of course my acting skills can’t compare to yours. You deserve an Oscar for your performance!”

As if remembering something unsavoury, Shen Xiulin’s voice cooled somewhat, “I haven’t really been acting. I was just being myself.”

Ye Xi, “…”

Ye Xi shrank into a feeble, quail-shaped ball on the sofa. Cherry blossoms fell from his head like rain, “I’m sorry, sir, but I’ve never imagined being in anything other than a professional relationship with you. Plus, I’m so…” The corner of Ye Xi’s eye glanced over the dry, rainbow-coloured stain on Shen Xiulin trousers, and choked back the words he was about to say.

At least I was straight back in the real world!

“It’s fine.” Shen Xiulin came over and sat next to Ye Xi. He rested his arm against the cabin wall and loosely held the blushing, quail-shaped Ye Xi in the crook of his arm. He said gently, “You can take your time to think about it. I don’t need an answer right away, I’m just tired of pretending.”

With his brain in a muddle, Ye Xi nodded absent-mindedly, “Hmm.”

Oh, Heaven above! Oh, Earth below! The Chief Executive has a crush on me!

“So how do you feel about me?” Shen Xiulin asked as he leaned closer to Ye Xi.

Ye Xi’s face turned serious, he replied sombrely, “Fear and respect.”

Shen Xiulin, “…”

“What about now?” Refusing to give up, Shen Xiulin asked, “Do you feel anything new?”

Ye Xi pondered for a moment before hesitantly replying, “I think you’re a little wicked, sir. And I also think you’re a bit of a…scoundrel?”

Shen Xiulin offered a low chuckle, “You can stop calling me ‘sir’ in the future. You can call me ‘you’ or just use my name instead of ‘Mr. Chief Executive’. It makes us seem like acquaintances.”

But we ARE acquaintances, alright? Please wake up, Mr. Chief Executive! Ye Xi sat in silent protest.

Shen Xiulin shamelessly abused his position, “Do you still want your bonus this year?”

Ye Xi immediately acquiesced and changed his tune, “Yes, you, Shen Xiulin.”

Shen Xiulin nodded with satisfaction, “Good.”

Though it was a small step, at least it was a step in the right direction. The chief executive secretly decided that he would play it straight from now on.

“So what do you like about me…?” After a short pause, Ye Xi asked with a puzzled look, “I’m just an ordinary guy.”

Apart from being remarkably handsome that is!

Shen Xiulin curved the corner of his lips, “Aren’t I also just an ordinary guy?”

Ye Xi shook his head, “Not at all. You’re the domineering CEO. You’re perfect, just like a character from a novel.”

“I’m not perfect. I only have the CEO title, that’s all.” Shen Xiulin calmly continued, “Like you said earlier, I’m wicked and a scoundrel…”

Ye Xi hastily waved his hands, “No, no, no. Please don’t take what I said seriously, I was just talking nonsense.”

However, Shen Xiulin continued his self-deprecation, “I’m a coward. I was too afraid to tell you how I felt and only dared to take advantage of you in this world. If it wasn’t for all those ‘perfect’ male extras making me jealous, maybe I would continue to be a coward… Like you, I also like to sleep in.”

Ye Xi pouted, “But you get in so early every morning. You told us during company meetings that while Kobe¹ knew what L.A. looked like at 4AM every morning, you knew what X City looked like at 5AM every morning. You also told us to never be lazy, and that we needed an iron will if we wanted to succeed.”

Shen Xiulin spoke earnestly, “Actually, I lied. I bought an apartment three minutes’ walk away from the office. My alarm clock is set to half past seven. My skin is pretty thick.”

Ye Xi, “…”

Screw you, Shen Xiulin! That’s half an hour later than me!

Shen Xiulin took a deep breath and continued, “I pulled you into my office for being late so I could see you more often. You always avoided me at the office, maybe you’re afraid of me because I failed you as a leader…So, underneath it all, I’m really just a very flawed, ordinary person. And why can’t an ordinary person fall in love with another ordinary person? Plus…”

Like rippling water, a smile slowly emanated from Shen Xiulin’s eyes, “Maybe you haven’t realised, but you’re quite adorable you know.”

As Ye Xi watched the god-like halo around the self-deprecating chief executive shatter into pieces, he could not help but burst into laughter.

And his laugh was truly adorable.

“By the way,” Shen Xiulin changed the subject, “we failed the quest just then, so we’ll have to start over.”

“Umm…I don’t really want to do that particular quest anymore.” Ye Xi shifted nervously while covering his bottom, blushing from ear to collarbone. It looked as if his blushing would continue down his legs and into the floorboards.

Shen Xiulin asked deliberately, “Why not?”

“What were you thinking about…when you spanked me?” Ye Xi whispered.

Shen Xiulin replied honestly, “I was thinking how lucky I was and wished I could spank you another fifty times.”

Ye Xi, “…”

But you’re about to spank me another fifty times!

Since everything was out in the open, Shen Xiulin shamelessly continued, “I also thought, it’s so soft and smooth, I like the feel of it very much.”

Ye Xi shouted as his face turned as red as a tomato, “Stop it, Shen Xiulin! That’s enough!”

Our most perfect, god-like Chief Executive, not only destroyed his own flawless façade today, but also turned into a shameless pervert!

But the most tragic thing was that the main quests still had to be completed. Otherwise they could not return to the real world, which meant Ye Xi could not eat yummy food, or cry for that matter, which also meant that he would be trapped in this absurdly stupid world forever…

So, Ye Xi mentally prepared himself for another ten minutes. Looking utterly embarrassed and with his round, pale butt cheeks forcibly exposed, Ye Xi bent over Shen Xiulin’s knee for the second time.

Smack, Shen Xiulin gently spanked Ye Xi’s bottom.

Ye Xi cautiously asked, “What are you thinking about right now?”

Sob! A gay scoundrel with a crush on me is spanking me while having dirty thoughts about me!

Shen Xiulin chuckled, “What do you think?”

Ye Xi bellowed with a ruddy face, “Stop it! Get your mind out of the gutter!”

Shen Xiulin, “Very well.”

Ye Xi struggled like a trapped animal as he commanded, “Start reciting the core values of Chinese socialism² in your head!”

Shen Xiulin agreed without hesitation, “Alright.”

Ten smacks later, Ye Xi turned his head sharply and asked with vigilant eyes, “I don’t think you’ve been reciting at all!”

Shen Xiulin chortled, “Why’s that?”

Ye Xi cried a river of tears on the inside, “Because I feel like the atmosphere is really lewd, there’s no socialist righteousness in the air at all!”

“You’ve learnt how to read the atmosphere?” The tip of Shen Xiulin’s eyebrows shot up as he declared with glee, “Uh, we failed the quest again and have to start over.”

Sob! Ye Xi collapsed back into Shen Xiulin’s lap. The future looked particularly bleak right now.

This time round, Ye Xi repeatedly sabotaged the main quest due to his irrepressible curiosity to know what Shen Xiulin’s thought process was while spanking him. Once Ye Xi had fully comprehended that his backside would likely develop calluses if he continued, he finally suppressed his suicidal tendencies and acquired the fortitude to help Shen Xiulin finish their quest.

Their Main Quest 15 were completed at the same time. Ye Xi jumped up as soon as he heard the system alert. He pulled his pants up so quickly that his pecker got caught in the zipper.

“Ouch! My balls!” Ye Xi collapsed onto the sofa in agony.

Shen Xiulin, “Slow down…I don’t bite.”

But I feel like you want to bite me on the ass! Ye Xi woefully thought to himself as he opened the system interface to check the next quest.

Main Quest 16: The wedding unexpectedly turns into chaos. Before he can hold another ceremony, Huangfu X decides to take the skittish little creature somewhere he can’t run away from…

Ha, you like to run, sweetheart? I’ll let you run to your heart’s content – on my turf!

Let Huangfu X bring you to his remote private island. By pretending to submit to his will, obtain the freedom to move around the island. (0/1)

Ye Xi breathed out a sigh of relief, it was lucky that the quest did not demand any more intimate acts from him. He profoundly believed that if he did anything else with Shen Xiulin today, his virtue may not be left intact at the end of the day!

 

Author’s Notes:

The chief executive: I like playing on my phone too.