Chapter 7: Realistic Pairing and Dog Blood Novel
Translated by Purple Hair Rara of Exiled Rebels Scanlations
Standing in front of the Starbucks, the manager was stretching out his neck, anxiously looking out for Su Nuo’s return and finally managed to see Su Nuo drove back after all the trouble.
“Why did you leave all of a sudden?” The manager got into the car, baffled.
“Because I was busy doing the heroic work and saving someone!” Su Nuo was very proud of himself.
The manager gave him a silent look, “You don’t have to make a fake excuse if you don’t want to answer.” Why don’t you say that you are going to save the planet?!
“But it’s the truth.” Su Nuo felt unsettled, “You have to believe me.”
“Okay okay. Now then, let’s move this car under some shade and we can start to eat.” The manager obviously didn’t want to continue this story, “Otherwise, the pig trotters will be cold.”
Dafug, cold pig trotters won’t taste as tasty, as a foodie, how could I let this happen?! I must stop this! Thus, Su Nuo decisively gave up on arguing as he hit the steering wheel before parking the car on the side of the road, and then happily received the lunch box.
The aromatic, golden brown roasted pig trotters were cut into small cubes, garnished with some chilli, cilantro and sesame seeds. Fragrant, soft but juicy, this was simply the legendary treasure one cannot buy with a thousand gold coins!
“I wonder if the store’s chef is willing to accept apprentices.” With a stuffed mouth and bulged cheeks, Su Nuo spoke out his heart with a face full of determination.
The manager felt a headache coming on, “Why do you keep coming up with strange ideas of becoming an apprentice any time you eat something good?!” Most people would just say they want to eat more!
“Because it’s better to teach a man to fish than give the man fish!” Su Nuo was serious.
He really doesn’t let the foodie pride down… Mr. Dai An took out a paper towel and helped him wipe his mouth without knowing whether to laugh or cry.
Since their lunchtime was occupied by the bewitching Su’s heroic moment, when the two drove back, they were already half an hour late.
“I am really sorry.” The manager sincerely apologized, “Because NuoNuo’s body felt a bit uncomfortable, I let him sleep in the car for a while.” What a liar, the truth was entirely because someone couldn’t stop eating!
Su Nuo’s reputation and relationship among the staff was good, so naturally, everyone didn’t mind at all.
Big star always comes late, that is very normal, ya.
The theme for the afternoon’s photo session was exquisite home style. Seeing how fair Su Nuo’s skin was, the designer gave him light blue home wear, which gave a very pure and lovely feeling.
“Pretend to be baking.” The photographer adjusted the camera.
Su Nuo listened. He slightly lowered his head while holding a hand mixer with his right hand and displayed a focus look.
“Aiya, NuoNuo’s eyelashes are so beautiful!” Several assistant girls started whispering to each other in excitement while biting the back of their hand, wanting to jump over and ravage him.
Ouyang Long leaned against the door and looked at Su Nuo’s every pose.
The intense sunlight was blocked by the kitchen’s thermal curtains, leaving only a warm ray of light casting on Su Nuo’s body. With his refined face structure, smooth white neck, and slender fingers, Ouyang Long felt that if it wasn’t that day he had witnessed for himself Su Nuo’s strong appetite, he might really believe this person grew up eating flowers.
“Good job.” After taking a bunch of photos, the photographer praised Su Nuo wholeheartedly, “NuoNuo, you have made great progress recently!”
Pft, of course! Su Nuo felt all smug inside his heart, yet his expression remained unchanged. “What are we going to do for the next shot?”
“I have prepared for you some bell peppers, you can cut them however you want.” The assistant handed him a kitchen knife, “The brand name must be included, so remember not to block the logo.”
Cutting veggies is a piece of cake for a foodie like myself! Su Nuo then swung down the knife and quickly julienned the bell pepper into thin strips skillfully.
The photographer was surprised. “You can cut it for real?”
“It’s very simple ah.” Su Nuo thought, This is nothing, I can even cook myself a roast chicken at home!
“Do it again, you cut them way too fast.” The photographer handed him a cucumber, “You only need to put on a pose.”
Su Nuo felt a little regret. My cucumber cutting skill is also very good! My hand is so itchy!
“Move your body to the side a little and raise your hand slightly.” The photographer looked through the camera lens.
Su Nuo followed his words while thinking, maybe he should make a cucumber salad with garlic for tonight. There were still some leftover dumplings sister-in-law made in the fridge.
What a beautiful thought!
“Soften your look a bit.” The photographer continued guiding.
Su Nuo was so occupied with the thought of dumplings that he didn’t hear it clearly. When he looked up to ask him, his hand slipped and accidentally cut his left middle finger.
The kitchen knife was brand new so within a second, Su Nuo’s finger bled like crazy.
“Yaaa!” Everyone quickly went into a panic. They rushed over to his side and applied guaze onto his wound while sending others out to buy hemostatic meds.
“It’s nothing big, don’t worry.” Su Nuo felt a bit guilty.
How can they not!!! The heavenly highland flower was injured, this was simply a heart shattering story!
“Aiya, it won’t stop bleeding!” As the blood seeped through layer and layer of the paper towel, the effeminate photographer became more and more nervous. He couldn’t help but complain, “Why haven’t they come back with the meds yet?”
“I just received a call from them, the nearby pharmacy is currently under renovation, so they have to hit the street farther away.” The assistant replied.
“If NuoNuo passes out from blood loss, who can afford to handle this responsibility?!” The photographer held up Su Nuo’s hand as if he was holding his ancestor’s, extremely worried.
Su Nuo was totally speechless. Who can lose that much blood from a tiny wound that was barely an inch on a finger?
However, no one on the scene refuted back, firstly because Su Nuo’s image of a fragile being had already deeply taken root inside everyone’s heart. It was basically the image of someone who could be easily blown away by the wind. Secondly, that pile of blood-stained paper towels on the ground was indeed a bit too horrifying, so everyone couldn’t help but start to worry that he might really faint.
It was a well known fact the people in the artistic industry tended to have a few loose screws inside their head. Therefore, Ouyang Long, the only outsider on the scene, had to step out. He took out a box of matches from his trouser pocket. It was a well crafted, custom-made gift from a hotel for VIP guests.
“Give me your hand.” Ouyang Long crouched down in front of him as he tore off the striking surface on the matchbox.
“…What?” Suno hesitated.
Ouyang Long grabbed his hand, wrapped the striking surface on his wound and then squeezed it hard.
“Ouch!” Su Nuo screamed.
t/n: It was a common belief in the countryside of China that the striking surface of the matchbox can stop bleeding. However, this is not scientifically proven, because the striking surface contains red phosphorus and other chemicals which even though are non-toxic, don’t really help in stopping blood. The belief became popular because back then band-aids and medical treatment wasn’t easily accessible, and matchbox was very cheap, and on small wound, it does stop blood however.
The manager was startled as he thought. What is this brutal method?! Will it leave a scar?!
Meanwhile, the staff were busy criticizing Ouyang Long for using such a rough way to treat Nuo Nuo. What a nasty man, don’t you know how to treat the delicate flower?!
Of course, this criticism was strictly a thought because Ouyang Long was their boss and no one was dumb enough to provoke him.
“It hurts!” Su Nuo was about to explode.
“Try to endure it.” Ouyang didn’t let go of his hand, “It will stop hurting soon.”
“But it’s still bleeding.” Su Nuo was very skeptical of how effective this out-of-date method was.
“It’ll be fine soon.” Ouyang Long didn’t dare to use too much strength. He was afraid he might crush the delicate slender finger.
The girls standing next to them started covering their nose and thought to themselves, Why is this dialogue “It hurts” and “Endure it” sound a bit off?! Nuo Nuo even spoke in his nasally voice… Gya so moe! This is simply too sensual! Handsome and powerful director gong vs enchanting and pure model shou, they were born couple ya!
Girl A clenched her fist in excitement. My God, how come I didn’t notice such a cute CP until now!
T/n: CP = short for couple, it can be understood as ship.
Girl B’s heart thumped like crazy, Aiyou, hands already held, eyes already met. Guys, just kiss already!
Girl C was busy blaming herself, They are obviously a perfect match! Why did I fantasize Qiu ZiYan with Nuo Nuo before? Gahhh! What a mistake I have made!
Of course, little Su Nuo didn’t know an inch what went on the mind of those sisters. He sat on the edge of the bed and while looking down, he coincidently saw under Ouyang Long’s opened shirt collar.
This man also has defined pecs! Too much information! The bewitching Su immediately burst into tears. What a horrible world am I living in? Why does everyone have pecs?! I must find an opportunity to transmigrate to another world!
“It’s okay.” After a while, Ouyang Long carefully removed the striking surface and wiped the blood around Su Nuo’s fingers with a wet towel.
Aiya, look how pampering he is! All the girls felt that this scene was especially heart soothing!
Although Su Nuo felt like his finger was almost broken, he still said thank you because as a man with qualities, how could he immediately get jealous of someone just because they had pecs? Although he really did feel a bit envious, it must never be shown!
“Let’s call it a day.” Ouyang Long said, “The setting won’t change much, we will continue tomorrow.”
The girls silently screamed inside, this scene….This was clearly a gong feeling sorry for his wounded little shou!
As a result, Su Nuo and Ouyang Long were unknowingly shipped into a couple!
In the evening, a brand new serialization appeared on some website’s novel library – 《Love in Troubled Times, the Black Bellied Royal Loves Money Boy》. This was definitely the joint work of those girls in the photography group!
During the wartime, Su Nuo Nuo, the eldest son of the lord of Southwest, was betrayed by the a treacherous court official and had to run away to the imperial capital. However, fate and luck weren’t on his side, because not only was his money bag stolen by a thief, he also got sold by the human traffickers to a male brothel!
t/n: Nuo in Su Nuo(纱衣) means obedient, Nuo in Su Nuo Nuo(苏糯糯) means glutinous sticky rice. Same pronunciation, different character.
It was beyond tragedy!
The moment the madam of the brothel saw his unrivalled beauty, she was completely over the moon. She quickly put up a sign to summon all the rich sons and royalty across the capital. She even sent her people out to find the capitals most famous tailor to make a crimson translucent silk robe in order to adorn his soft and fair skin.
It was a really seducing picture!
‘I only sell my body, not my skill!’ Su Nuo Nuo picked the scissors and pointed at his throat, sobbed, ‘Or else I will kill myself!’
The madam was overjoyed, ‘Rest assured, I will never force you to sell your skill!’
‘Really?’ Su Nuo Nuo hesitated as he felt that everything seemed to go a bit too smoothly. He quickly rethought everything and suddenly panicked. “No, no! I stated it wrong! I meant I will only sell my skill!’
‘Oh?’ The madam sneered at him as she clapped her hand and within a second, a few naked burly men came in. In their hands was a branding iron, a bamboo slab, a leather whip and a feather duster. They even brought in a wolfdog. Su Nuo Nuo’s beautiful face immediately lost color, his eyes rolled back as he quickly fainted.
Such a delicate beauty that everyone couldn’t help but fall in love with at first sight.
“Sweetheart, listen and spread your legs for me, your lord, and let me taste your beautiful chrysanthemum!” Ouyang-wangye smirked wickedly as he gently tore off Su Nuo Nuo’s silk robe.
Eh, wait a minute. Something is lacking here. How come the scene jumps from fainting to the lord’s bed? Where is the logic?! Su Nuo was so confused, he clicked back to the previous page to find the missing paragraph.
Reality was that full of a dogs blood. The forum where the girls published their work was coincidentally the website where the model Su often visited. Since this forum wasn’t just about daily entertainment, it also had household affairs, celebrity scandals, and even webnovels. It was a very lively forum.
So when Su Nuo saw this latest serialization, he decisively clicked on it and read it obsessively.
t/n: Wangye = Lord, Royal Highness, title given to the princes who left the palace when one succeeded the throne or to the people who had done something extraordinary for the country. With this title, they could have their own fiefdom.
Omg haha, from the start until the end, this chapter was a riot! I love Su Nuo so much hahah, but, Ouyang, how dare you hurt our Nuo Nuo, lol! Aaahhh I’m just totally in love with his humorous novel, 🙂
I relate to these girls so much omg
SN you would have never guessed that you read about yourself 😂 how cool is that when you are the MC 😎
Thank you 🙏
They went from worship, to crushing, to shipping real quick 😂😂😂
Send me link girls!
Thank you 👰🙇💕
the director, the model or the gambler, take your pick.
NuoNuo… Your concern is that the plot suddenly jumps and not because of the characters have similar name to you & your boss? 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Thank you for the translation..
su nuo became sha yi(纱衣) nani?
So the staffs turn out to be fujoshis who also write fanfics 😂😂
Fujoshis rule the world ✌✌
I wonder if Su Nuo would start seeing Ou Yang in a different eye after reading the fic. His mind seems a bit easy to be influenced
This chapter is so much fun to read 😁
Thank you for the translation @Rara & the fab team 😘😘
Just thought that this chapter would’ve been more perfect with a pic of roasted pig trotters attached 😂
Btw can anyone tell me what dog blood means?… I google it and couldn’t find a satifiying answer 🤔
Ahahahaha.. I can feel that those Girls are definitely hiding somewhere in here..
Thanks for the chapter!!~ 🙇🙇
I started this and was like wow a really different storyline ;thanks a lot for all these wonderful chapters.
Maigaddd Nuo Nuo, I’m so fking dead he actually read that BL webnovel featuring him and Ouyang ahahhahaha
Now he will famous more than that abs cuz their PC
My my.. i hesitant.. should i read this novel or not.. i’m just don’t like if MC always being bully by ML .. i read its sinopsis..its say MC idiot.. hahaha.. guys, could you tell me ,please.. its worth or not?? Hahaha.. sorry for trouble..
Nuo nuo read a story base on him and only react to fainting to the lord’s bed? 😂😂😂 shouldn’t you aware about your name?? 😂😂😂
Thank you for new chapter 😘😘😘
Love this new novel, Mr. F!!!
Is this also in Patreon?
But I don’t like su nuo
i feel called out 😂 i too respond to extreme envy with “let me transmigrate!”
I am girl b!
Hahaha on “selling my body not my skill”
‘manly man’, Su Nuo, why are you reading BL fanfics, hmmmm?
The girls brainrotting from their CP is me 😂
Nuo Nuo, I think what’s weird is u reading a fanfic abt u and Ouyang Long…