Chapter 23: fun sports festival(2); only one song from heartache to lovelorn
Translated by Crystal of Exiled Rebels Scanlations
Ju Zi’s ‘letter of sympathy’ got other’s gears going. Instantly, the announcement desk was filled with submission letters.
Not only were there submissions from the pets about their owners, the owners also rebutted by submitting their own, showing off their superior language skills. All kinds of showy phrases were used for their hilarious submissions. Hearing the letters being read, the owners didn’t know whether to laugh or cry and so they tried to shame their pets in front of their crushes as well.
Xie GuanZe and the others had a blast listening.
For example, the one being read was written by the owner of the Saluki, who just got shamed by his pet. Thus, this was his response.
“Robert, although you have grown into a fine young man and I’m very proud of you, you are still a boy who can’t sleep without their pink stuffed bunny. And a boy who drools in their sleep, and sleep talks. How cute. I still have a precious picture of when you gave the white eye in your sleep. I’ll pull it out once in a while and remember. You will forever be my baby.”
The Saluki, “Bark! I do not—-“
My image! All ruined by the pink stuffed bunny!
Xie GuanZe even heard a letter by one of Xie King’s students.
“Xiao Qiang, it’s okay if you aren’t good at running, you can use quantity to cover up for quality. Just have more babies. What’s important is to learn math, then you can help me with my summer homework. From Xiao Yong, the one who hopes you can become an ace student.”
Xie GuanZe remarked with a smile, “How cute.”
Niu Nai, one the other hand, felt tempted to join. If he did, he could write a letter mocking his owner or get a mockery in response. But now, he was just an audience who could only watch the action unfold. He was feeling a little let down.
Xie GuanZe saw through him and purposely suggested, “Niu Nai, do you want to write a letter too? For Hua Hua?”
“No!” Niu Nai rejected him immediately and walked off in a sour mood.
Xie GuanZe said, confused, “What happened?”
Cats were truly temperamental. Getting angry and just running off like that.
Chu JiangQing answered him by mouthing the words, “Niu Nai can’t write yet.” Telling him the true reason for his anger.
He could read and listen but couldn’t write. Niu Nai was part of a large group of pets who were ‘illiterate’.
“But, Niu Nai is very prideful, so maybe after today he’ll want to go to school.” Chu JiangQing said with a smile.
Xie GuanZe saw Niu Nai running off angrily, but actually he was going behind the announcement desk. He was stretching his neck out to see the content of the letters.
The person who was reading was none other than Xie King. Almost every student attended today’s competition, so all the staff were teachers. Thus, at the end of the day, the teachers also participated in leisure activities like this.
“What are you looking at.” Xie King said wordlessly as he glanced at the underachieving cat. As he was in front of the mic, he was trying to uphold his image.
The cat kept getting closer and took sneaky glances at him. If those weren’t directed at the letters, he would’ve thought he had a thing for him.
He still remembered Xiao Hei at that BBQ place, looking at him like a good meal.
“I’m just looking,” Niu Nai said with a hint of awkwardness, “don’t mind me.”
Xie King looked at him oddly. Seeing that he wasn’t going anywhere and considering he was the pet of his owner’s friend, he let him stick around.
It was then a new letter arrived so Xie King quickly went back to reading.
“Go get them MiMi! You’re the king of beasts! Destroy them all!”
This submission was super short but with the mention of the ‘king of the beasts’, he knew who it was talking about. The female tiger he saw at the drivers test.
“MiMi? Isn’t that a name for cats?” Niu Nai’s ears perked up at the mention of the name. He was asserting dominance over the cats-only-name.
“It’s a tiger, so a big cat?” Xie King replied scratching his chin. “But isn’t it bad to call the king of beasts MiMi? There’s no way she could display her power with a name like that.”
Just as Niu Nai was about to reply, he was suddenly interrupted by a student, who came out of nowhere.
“Make way for WuKong here!”
A student in a red tracksuit came rushing up from the back. He immediately pounced beside Niu Nai and threw his arm around him. Niu Nai just blinked in shock.
“Hey buddy, you’re here for a submission too? Let me go first, please?”
The one who came had spiky golden brown hair with a sunny expression and a gender neutral beauty. Niu Nai sniffed out the fact that this was a female and his cold demeanour melted slightly. He was blushing a bit, “Ah? Oh, ok.”
Niu Nai moved aside and let Hou Xiu pass.
“Hehe, thanks.” Hou Xiu shuffled closer to Niu Nai and sniffed. “Oh, so you’re a kitten, huh. So cute, I love kitty cats.”
After that, she made a move and ruffled his hair.
Niu Nai didn’t know how to react to such a passionate gesture made by the opposite gender and just went completely red. He didn’t resist her claws at all.
At that moment, numerous thoughts ran through his head:
Does she like me?
Was she confessing?
Does she want to have kittens with me?
Xie King looked at him with a cold eye and thought, ‘heh, you’re overthinking it, she just wants an underling’.
The energetic girl was none other than Hou XiuCai, the monkey who loved taking underlings.
Seeing as Niu Nai already got his heart stolen by her passion, Xie King went and interrupted her, “Where’s your submission paper?”
“Hehe, it’s here.” Hou XiuCai said, pointing to her chest. Niu Nai couldn’t help but peek at where her hands were pointing and got even redder as a result.
Xie King looked over and thought, how unexpected, such a cold and prideful cat was in fact super pure. He seemed to have found his weakness…
“I’ll read it myself.” Hou XiuCai said as she grabbed the mic, “Cough, cough, listen closely.”
When Xie King wasn’t paying attention, he got his mic stolen, but seeing as it was a friend, he could only say, “Just hurry up.”
“Ok.” Hou XiuCai promised and broke that immediately, as she sang, “Hou-ge, Hou-ge, I’m amazing—-”
(T/n the opening song to a classic cartoon featuring Sun Wukong in ‘The Journey to the West’)
Xie King snatched the mic back and said to Niu Nai, who stared wide-eyed, “Help me get this monkey out of here.”
Niu Nai blushed while thinking, ah she’s so cute! Her voice is so beautiful!
Niu Nai was too busy blushing to do anything, so Hou XiuCai started fighting for the mic with Xie King. Xie King held onto the mic for dear life as he dodged the monkey paws.
As he was dodging, he was also apologizing to the student’s, “Sorry, we just got a monkey in trying to wreak havoc in heaven.”
(T/n Sun Wukong was known for wreaking havoc in heaven, which led to his imprisonment under a mountain. He got out 500 years later on ‘The Journey to the West’)
In a fit of laughter, Hou FangHua, along with his grandson, awkwardly went up stage to get his monkey.
Xie GuanZe and Chu JiangQing also saw the struggle on stage and went up to support their pets.
The moment they arrived at the desk, Hou FangHua started lecturing his monkey.
“If you cause anymore havoc, I’m making you the BiMaWen!”
“BiMaWen? A horse keeper?”
(T/n In ‘The Journey to the West’, Wukong was given this title believing it was a high position, after his initial intrusion to heaven, but later found out it was one of the lowest. The title became a way to mock him, as it’s a pun on BiMaWen, where a monkey (female) was put in horse stables to prevent them from catching diseases with their period blood)
At first Hou XiuCai wasn’t happy about her song being interrupted, but after hearing that, she became ecstatic, “Headmaster, I’m willing to bathe you and brush your mane! I really am!”
Niu Nai, “Meow, Meow, Meow?”
Weren’t you flirting with me just a moment ago? Now you’re confessing to the headmaster?
“Take her away.” Xie King said with a deadpan expression.
Hou FangHua felt that he was slowly losing his face. With his grandson, they grabbed Hou XiuCai by the shoulders and pulled her away. When they passed the leaders, Hou XiuCai struggled with all her might to confess to the Headmaster.
“Headmaster, I love you—- Headmaster, I can be your personal BiMaWen—“
Gold horse headmaster replied heartlessly, “No need.”
“Ah, Old Hou, my heart! It hurts!” Hou XiuCai yelled as she exaggeratedly clenched her chest, “I’m heartbroken!”
Hou FangHua felt his temper rising, “My heart hurts more! My life long reputation is getting ruined by you!”
Hou Che stayed silent as a sheep. He didn’t dare talk.
Hou XiuCai closed her eyes and said, “I’m heartbroken, I can’t hear anything.”
She stopped struggling and got towed away like a corpse.
“Meow⁓” Niu Nai meowed pitifully.
Hearing it, Chu JiangQing asked, confused, “What happened?”
Niu Nai looked at him pitifully, “I’m heartbroken.”
Chu JiangQing, “Huh?”
Niu Nai: from heartthrob to heartache, all it took was a song.
On the other hand, Hou XiuCai, who was also heartbroken, was still thinking of the Headmaster even in the audience. She started longingly towards his direction. Hou FangHua said disappointedly, “The bird’s trying to leave the nest already!”
(T/n here he use an idiom, daughters shouldn’t be ‘kept’ home for too long. ‘Kept’ because you’re married ‘off’. But here his sentiment is that she’s already wanting to be married off.)
Hou Che knew his time for revenge was here and said, “Grandpa! XiuCai is like this because she doesn’t have enough homework! If she had more work, she wouldn’t have time to think about other stuff!”
Hou FangHua thought about it, “You do have a point.”
Hou Che responded enthusiastically, “Don’t worry, I can give her half of mine.”
“No need, grandpa will buy more for her.” Hou FangHua glanced at Hou Che expressionlessly, “She’s like this because of your bad influence, watching idol dramas with her. Grandpa will sign you up for a math class. You’ll be doing homework with her. Let’s see who’ll have time for other stuff once you get working.”
Why was he always taking the blame?
How does Hou XiuCai’s fangirling have anything to do with him!
The heartbroken NiuNai looked depressed. He even lost his interest in commentating.
Xiu GuanZe found a time to ask Xie King about it secretly. He didn’t know whether he should laugh or cry about the reason.
What kind of love is that? It’s not even spring yet. Was it that easy to get NiuNai’s heart racing?
Chu JiangQing secretly told him the reason, “Niu Nai just reached maturity. Before then, he always stayed at home. Other than his owner and the female vets, he never saw any other females.”
Even in the hospital, he was in a cage and only took a passing glance at the vets. He was a typical boy who just got introduced to the opposite gender.
“So that’s why.” Xie GuanZe said, rubbing his chin. Looking at the bustling sports field, he got an idea.
“Then let’s take him to where there’s lot of female pets. Come, let’s go to the female division.”
“Good idea, let’s go.”
Just as they were about to leave with NiuNai, Xie King mentioned offhandedly to Xie GuanZe, “Our contest’s starting at 5:30pm, remember to eat something beforehand.”
Xie GuanZe was curious, “So, what exactly are we competing in?”
He was being all secretive about it, so he didn’t even know how to prepare.
“Can’t tell you.”
Xie King kept his lips shut and said nothing. Not only did he not speak a word about it, he told Xie GuanZe to not ask about it either.
Xie GuanZe could only nod in agreement.
Hopefully it was something he was good at…
Once they brought NiuNai to the female divisions, Xie GuanZe had a feeling as if they had gone back to their middle-school days, watching the female basketball game.
It was a bunch of boys in puberty, when their interest in girls was high and watching the game wasn’t about the sport but the thighs.
Thinking back, Xie GuanZe just wanted to laugh. Even he had a perverted phase.
What they were watching was the female long jump event. It was for both pets and owners.
NiuNai, who was heartbroken just a moment ago, was now looking more intently than the humans around him. Chu JiangQing was perfecting the art of pampering NiuNai. Their relationship was getting better and better.
There was an inseparable aura around them that prevented others from getting involved. CaoJun watched on for a bit before leaving to find HuaHua. Xie GuanZe just watched on by himself.
The female high jump event took the pets and humans score and combined them. Every pet who attended was a master at their craft, the humans failed in comparison. Watching from the sidelines, Xie GuanZe felt the need to exercise more himself.
The Tamias squirrel who had finished jumping was cheering from the side, “Jump, fly like the wind!”
The female owner was on the fatty side, clearly from long periods of sitting and not exercising. Xie GuanZe felt that it wasn’t going to go well, and without much surprise, she jumped with all her might but ended up losing her balance and planted face down into the sand pit.
The Tamias squirrel just looked at her, then jumped over. Patting her fat owner’s head, she said with pity, “It’s fine, you’re big enough you won’t die of hunger.”
Hearing her ‘comfort’, the squishy owner wanted to cry even more.
Their opponent wasn’t doing any better.
A rabbit loli with long legs was jumping up and down anxiously. Her ears even popped up, and shook with every jump she made, making Xie GuanZe itching to pet it.
“Jump! Jump! My god! How are your legs so short?!”
Her owner: …
Her owner was of normal size, but clearly an introvert who didn’t go out much. She only managed about 1m or so. The rabbit loli covered her face in agitation, “I knew it, I shouldn’t have had any hopes for you. You won’t even go downstairs for groceries, and eat takeouts everyday, why would you have any strength.”
The owner said, embarrassed, “I’ll exercise from now on.”
The rabbit loli abruptly pulled her hand down, “You’re going running tonight! And no takeouts!”
Xie GuanZe squeezed the fat on his arms, then squeezed his waist, then thought about how he got hit the last time he took a photo and made a promise to himself, ‘I’ll start exercising tonight!’.
“Hey, have you practiced with King yet?” Beside the sandpit, a male owner recognized him and came over to chat.
“Practiced what?” Xie GuanZe purposefully asked, trying to get more information. At the same time, he thought to himself, he didn’t initiate the conversation, the other teacher did.
The male owner replied, “Dancing, of course, isn’t the teachers’ competition for ballroom dancing?”
Xie GuanZe couldn’t even laugh at that, “No, he didn’t tell me anything.”
“Then, he probably thinks you don’t need it.” The male owner replied with melancholy, “I’m no good. My eagle’s really good, maybe it’s because all birds have a mating dance that they catch on real quick. Every time I practise with her, I step on her toes and piss her off. Hopefully it’ll work out today.”
Xie ZuanZe: Heh, that’s a dark history he doesn’t even want to mention okay?!