Translated by Tracy

Edited by Addis

 

What’s worse than making bad friends? The consequences.

---

When their eyes met, any thoughts Feisha may have harbored in his mind disappeared into thin air and left behind only the primal urge to wring his neck.

But Gin cut in before he could make good on that thought. “Why didn’t you do it a few more times if he’s that skilled?”

Feisha’s plan was instantly shot down by his words.

Isefel calmly folded up his wings and gave Gin an indifferent glance. “I see you’re very free.”

Gin’s smug smile wavered for a few seconds, finally settling into a toned-down version of itself. “No, no, just taking a break from work.” He swung a bottle of wine – where did that come from? – in one hand.

“Hughes has been absent lately.”

A momentary pause in the swinging. “He’s on leave,” Gin said cautiously.

“Then perhaps you can take over his work with the time you spend on break.” And before Gin could protest, “Or I may have to ask for Hughes to resume duty.”

“…” Gin’s smile was completely gone. A corner of his lips twitched. “Not. A. Problem,” he gritted out.

Isefel nodded, satisfied, and pulled out a brooch sparkling with gold and silvery gemstones. Feisha and Gin’s faces lit up at the same time.

“What good timing, my last one broke!” Feisha said.

“Took you long enough to start gifting me high-end stuff,” Gin huffed simultaneously, pleased.

The two glared at each other, then directed their best impressions of puppy-eyes at Isefel in anticipation of his next move.

The fallen angel slowly reached out and, under the mildly simmering gaze of Gin, placed the brooch a top Feisha’s tangled head of hair. It was by no means secure but caught on the tangles and stayed nonetheless.

Gin’s eyes darted back and forth between the two. “‘s that your payment for last night?” he blurted. Then bolted so fast that it was dubious as to whether he had been there at all.

Feisha stared in the direction Gin ran. “Haha,” he chucked stiffly, “he’s just an uneducated child. Please find the graciousness in your heart to forgive him.”

“…”

Feisha raised a hand to his head, feeling the brooch and pulling it off with a beam. “Thanks for your gift, by the way!” Nice, getting gifts on top of essentially being a freeloader.

“The cost of the one you broke will be deducted from your salary.”

Feisha waved a hand in dismissal. “Whatever, take it all.” It wasn’t like he could take it with him. Why would he care if his salary gets reduced?

“Your meals and accomodation fees are taken from your salary.”

“…” At Isefel’s reminder, an important thought suddenly occurred to Feisha – he needed at least $700 or so left as salary or he’d be sleeping at the front desk and living off air. “How much are you deducting?” he asked anxiously.

“One annual leave.”

“…Why are you always after my annual leave?” sulked Feisha. Technically he took a trip to the faerie world, but the only sights he got to see was the Forest of Deception, the only local produce being a bibi beast, and an extravagant feast of fruit puree… A stark difference from a hot spring, relaxation while being wined and dined by by hot women.

“What else do you want me to be after?” Isefel asked, unimpressed.

“Like,” Feisha thought carefully about this topic, “my personality, talent or s…marts?” He couldn’t bring himself to say the word “skill”.

Isefel considered him blankly for a few seconds. “It would be better for you to use the time you spend joking on work instead.”

“…” He wasn’t joking. A portion of his genes were indeed compulsively hilarious, but most of them were sensible and steady.

He covered his face in a hand, gripping a towel in his other as he saw Isefel off with a sorrowful look.

After Isefel left, Feisha rubbed his face and huffed a breath into his palm to sniff. “Phew,” he sighed with a nod, “no morning breath.” He entered his room with pleased steps and turned to close his door…or not.

Gin’s hand was wedged between the door and its frame.

Feisha let go of the doorknob, smiling sweetly. “Hold on a second, I have something to talk to you about.”

Gin stared at him incredulously, watching him walk into his room. The human emerged seconds later with a chair over his head. “I need to talk to you about…killing you you little shit!” he screamed, hurling the chair at Gin.

Gin’s pupils contracted slightly, freezing the chair in midair.

Feisha took one look at Gin’s smug grin, stomped over to his closet to grab some clothes and locked himself in the bathroom, making sure to slam the door behind him.

It wasn’t until the telltale pitter-patter of the shower started that Gin finally realised he’d been ignored.

---

Feisha emerged from the bathroom after an hour-long shower. Thankfully, Gin had great patience and spent most of his time sitting in the chair.

Like a turtle with its shell, Feisha felt the familiar sense of security as he clothed himself. “If you’re here to apologise, I suggest you get something good as a present. I may be knowledgeable and gifted in many ways, but all consideration comes after the gifting.”

“So you’d agree to anything if I gifted you presents?”

Feisha smiled faintly. “You think I’m stupid or something?”

“Then what about a present and some threats on top of that?”

The smile dropped from his face. “I shall…” he said, slowly inching backwards, “…take it into consideration.” He spun around, shaking the doorknob and screaming “Help!”

Gin chuckled darkly behind him. “Yell as much as you want. No one’s going to save you this time.”

Feisha let out a desperate laugh. “Okay, you win,” he conceded, turning around. “Just say what you came here to say so you can stop driving me insane.”

Gin frowned. “Since when have you driven you insane?”

What’s the height of driving someone to insane? Destroying the world and leaving only one person to solemnly vow to sought out the cause of that destruction and destroy it.

“What in the bloody heavens do you even want me to do?”

Gin’s gaze gained a glint of thoughtfulness. “Do you know why Isefel fell from heaven?”

“Coldness,” Feisha replied with the confidence of someone who knew beyond a doubt that they were right.

“It’s because- Wait, how the hell do you know?”

“You tell me,” Feisha smirked.

“Isefel told you?” Immediately, he rebuked himself. “No, that’s impossible. Could it be…” He looked shocked for a moment before it morphed into suspicion. “Did you eavesdrop on me sleep talking?”

Feisha glared at him, unimpressed. “Who the fuck has the time to listen to you sleep talk?”

“Well, sleep talk is often quite interesting to listen to- but that’s not the point. The point is, how did you know what his sin was? Nothing apart from the Seven Deadly Sins has been noted down on the records, and neither was Isefel’s history.”

At the sight of Gin about to lose it, Feisha resigned himself to telling the truth. “Metatron told me.”

“…” Gin’s expression was one of utter confusion, as if it was all Greek to him.

Feisha decided to elaborate. “I had just come out of his room when you guys kidnapped me.” If he’d known that the first level down was Gin’s level, he would’ve slept in the fountain if it kept him from going outside.

“Room?” At Feisha’s exasperated eye roll, Gin amended, “Oh, yes. Room. Why would Metatron tell you about Isefel?”

Feisha didn’t know either. “I dunno. Maybe because he was lonely and wanted someone to chat with?”

“…Lonely?” Gin caught himself before Feisha could do anything this time, “Alright, maybe he was lonely. Did he tell you why his sin was coldness?”

“He…didn’t, actually.” Feisha sent Gin a look of curiosity.

The vampire let out a silent breath of relief. He was finally in control of this conversation again. “It’s because Isefel once watched an angel die before his eyes.”

“…Should he have closed his eyes instead?”

Gin brought a fist down upon the table. “Can’t you see the point?!”

Feisha thought long and hard about this, humbly conceding after a while, “What other point is there in this sentence?”

“Isefel could’ve saved him.”

“Well fuck me if you couldn’t mention all the details.”

“…”

“…Um, please continue.”

Gin’s azure eyes flashed. “God asked him why he stood by and watched coldly as one of his own died right in front of him without helping. You know what he said?”

Feisha tried to put himself in Isefel’s shoes. “Because the other angel didn’t have any money?”

“…”

“Just tell me.”

“He said, ‘I do not know.’”

Feisha looked down at the brooch pinned to his chest, instinctively defending Isefel. “Well, I mean, everyone makes mistakes. People zone out in class all the time!”

Gin has evidently learnt from his lesson, choosing to ignore Feisha. “And then God said, ‘Your heart is as cold as ice itself. Your coldness makes you unfit for Heaven.’”

Wasn’t that like getting fired? Feisha felt himself growing stressed on Isefel’s behalf.

Gin continued, “So Isefel asked back at God…”

“What did he ask?”

“Was God not as cold as he, for watching Adam and Eve suffer in the mortal world, for watching Lord Cain murder his own brother and drink blood in order to sustain himself?” Gin slowed his pace in an imitation of Isefel’s emotionless tone, bringing Feisha to the scene of the exchange between angel and God.

“And then?” Feisha prompted when Gin stopped talking.

“And then Isefel came to Noah’s Ark. There is only the Seven Deadly Sins and their corresponding demon lords in Hell still.”

Feisha felt an indescribable sense of pain for Isefel as he sighed.

“You know how Isefel’s always swimming?” Gin asked.

Feisha nodded. If there was a swim club here, Isefel’d be the president for sure.

“That is the will of God.”

“…I didn’t know God liked six-packs as well.”

Gin gritted his teeth. “God said that through submerging himself in water, he will be able to feel warmth and love.”

“Did it work?”

Gin quirked an eyebrow. “Do you think it worked?”

“I think it’d work better if they added some essential oils into the water,” Feisha suggested helpfully.

“…”

Feisha placed a hand on the doorknob. “Well, thanks for the story. I think it might be time for you to go.”

“I haven’t gotten to the point yet.”

“Can you continue this next time?” Heavy stories had heavy burdens.

“Okay.”

Feisha lit up.

Gin cleared his throat. “Alright, it is now the ‘next time’ that you spoke of. Let’s continue the topic we were discussing last time.”

“…”

“Did you know that Isefel had never touched a human before you?”

A shock of giddy happiness bloomed within Feisha’s heart, but he carefully schooled his expression into one of incredulous shock. “Actually?”

“Don’t even bother keeping your smile down.”

“There’s nothing to smile about.” Feisha rubbed his face.

“I’ve also never seen him embrace anyone aside from you.”

Feisha rubbed his face again. And again.

“So believe me when I say, he definitely feels something special towards you.”

There was something fishy about this. “Well, have you had any deep and meaningful conversations like this with any human before me?”

Gin shook his head.

“So it’s not Isefel that’s special. It’s me.”

Gin didn’t rise to the bait, smiling faintly. “Perhaps. Perhaps it is only you who can create miracles.”

“People have been fooled into giving their lives by higher-ups telling them of their extraordinaire since the dawn of time. And then their extraordinary deaths get used to bring glory to the higher-ups for their brilliance.”

Gin smiled brightly. “Don’t worry, I won’t let you die.”

Feisha sent him a look: Mate, you can’t keep tossing me to the wolves like this.

Gin sent back a look brimming with enthusiasm: I’m not tossing you out to the wolves, I’m gifting you with riches beyond your imagination!

Feisha had to look away from the brightness of Gin’s gaze, giving up with a sigh. “Alright, alright, what do you want me to do?”

“I want you,” Gin said with much excitement, “to seduce Isefel and show him what true love is!”

“…”

“What’s wrong?”

A shudder ran through Feisha’s body as he raised an accusing finger, trembling, at Gin. “You know how I said you drive me insane? I take that back. You’ve already driven me as insane as my brain can handle, and beyond. You’ve shocked me to the brink of my existence.”

Shocked? Wasn’t that a skill exclusive to fallen angels? “I don’t follow,” he asked.

Feisha sprang to his feet. “How the hell do you come up with plot as retarded as this?! Why don’t you put your talents to use elsewhere and screenwrite soap operas?” He paused momentarily, “But I’m not playing the main character!”

---

Translator’s notes

I may be knowledgeable and gifted in many ways, but all consideration comes after the gifting.

我虽然知书达理，但也要先搭到礼 wǒ suī rán zhī shū dá lǐ, dàn yě yào xiān dā dào lǐ (lit. I may be cultured, but one must first take a gift)

The pun here (bolded) is that the second half of the idiom 知书达理 zhī shū dá lǐ (lit. knowledgeable and cultured) sounds the same as 搭礼 dā lǐ (lit. take a present).

You’ve shocked me to the brink of my existence.

The term 雷 léi (lit. thunder) is a term in internet slang along the lines of ‘shocking’, content-wise. I legitimately cannot think of anything better than this.

Why don’t you put your talents to use elsewhere and screenwrite soap operas?

Feisha actually tells Gin to go direct a series called 江湖恩仇录 jiāng hú ēn chóu lù, and that he’s not going to play the main character 李小刚 lǐ xiǎo gāng.

[/hide]