Creature Farm Chapters My Home is Not a Magical Creature Farm

Creature Farm Chapter 2: Ah, I Misunderstood10 min read

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Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: Sulo

“Ah, I misunderstood.” After a flurry of explanation, Quentina finally accepted that the strange youth was a ‘gift’ packed and sent, rather than a bed mate playing an SM binding game with Augusta.

“I’ll tell you, Mr. Augusta is so old and is still a ‘magician.’ 1 Why would he play so much all of a sudden?” Quentina laughed, but the expression on her face was not very convincing. In her opinion, Augusta was more like a pervert in his years of repression.

Augusta’s mouth twitched, “Now that you understand, please help me pack this guy up and send him back.”

“No!” The young werewolf found that they were back to square one and immediately began to howl, “Please don’t drive me away! I’ll take care of your daily life! I’ll take care of your home! I don’t want a salary, just three meals! Don’t drive me away!”

“Mr. Augusta, the tape is ready!” Quentina was suddenly very helpful.

“Thank you, ma’am!”

The young man looked at her with tears in his eyes, “Beautiful vampire lady, please…”

Quentina was indifferent to his compliment, “Hurry up, Mr. Augusta. I can’t wait to box him.”

“Why are you so active?” Augusta questioned.

The beautiful vampire showed her fangs. “If he is as capable as he said, then I will be out of work.” She turned to the porch to pick up the box. “Lately, the unemployment rate is so high. Do you know how hard it is to find a job suitable for vampires?”

After the box was brought in, Quentina slowly approached the werewolf youth with the tape in her hand, along with Augusta, marching like an army toward the enemy camp. “Mr. Augusta, please untie his rope first.”

“That’s too dangerous!” The magician exclaimed.

“Do you want to send him with the chair?” The vampire raised her eyebrows. “You untie the rope first, and I’ll tie him up with tape immediately…”

“Good!”

The young man looked frightened and tried to move backward, but it didn’t help. Augusta recited a curse. The youth’s rope disappeared with a ‘pa!’ Before Quentina could use the tape to subdue him, he jumped up and grabbed Augusta by the shoulder!

Damn werewolf, how dare you attack me! The magician was angry from the heart and immediately gave up his last reserve. He planned to use his precious magic to teach the wolf a lesson. An attack spell appeared in his mind. The magician opened his lips, but before he could recite, his mouth was blocked by a pair of cold lips——

The young man sealed Augusta’s spell with his lips, deepening the unexpected kiss right under the magician’s shocked eyes. Augusta soon recovered from his panic and pushed the youth away — if not, he would have put his tongue in!

“Presumptuous! What do you think you are doing?” The magician, covering his lips, stepped back and bumped into the cupboard. How dare this damned guy kiss him?! This is… That was his first kiss!

The young man was very aggrieved, “Lord Cavaldien asked me to do this.” He put all the blame on the mage who was not in the scene. “He said that Lord Augusta has a surly character which is completely caused by a lack of intimate contact. If you insist on driving me away, I was to kiss you until you agree. He said so.”

Augusta’s blood pressure soared to a critical level in a flash. “Do you believe what he says?”

The young man said pitifully, “How would I know if I haven’t tried…”

Augusta found himself having a real communication problem with this guy, so he turned to Quentina, “What are you waiting for? Come here and take this guy! Quentina?”

The vampire, who was called by her name, looked at them with a silly smile, “I don’t know why but I suddenly think it’s good to keep him…”

My comrade in arms suddenly plotted a mutiny! 

Augusta watched Quentina tell the youth, “You can stay, but you must be obedient. You must do whatever I ask you to do. You should be diligent and don’t procrastinate. Otherwise, I won’t mind tasting the blood of a werewolf…” Then she showed her fangs.

When the youth found that his position was now stable, he immediately turned obedient, “Of course, I will be obedient! But… But what will you do?”

With this, Augusta interrupted them, “Do you want to be out of work?”

“How can I lose my job? It’s a promotion.” The vampire held her cheek. “I’ve been promoted from an ordinary housekeeper to a managing housekeeper. Congratulations are in order.”

“Hello! Who is the owner of this house? It’s me! Don’t make decisions for me!”

His protest was ignored. Quentina and the youth walked out of the kitchen, chatting and laughing. “I haven’t asked your name yet.”

“My name is Kyfayar.”

“Ah, my name is Quentina Lilies Blood. By the way, I have to find you something to wear first. I know that Mr. Augusta has some clothes that he never wears, and you probably can fit into them. But he has a strange taste, do you mind?”

“Of course not!”

I really mind! Augusta was silently screaming in his heart.

 

“Lilianna! Come and help me! If you don’t hurry up, I’ll die!” In the study, Augusta huddled behind the curtains, was on the phone with Lilianna, his friend (Cavaldien sarcastically calls her his ‘best friend’).

“My God, Augusta, do you know I’m on the other side of the ocean, and there’s something in the world called jet lag?” Lilianna, on the other end of the phone, yawned, her voice weak.

“Of course, I know! But this is an emergency!”

“Alarmist. What you call an ‘emergency’ is probably the degree of ‘Quentina is on strike again’? Well, it would have indeed happened sooner or later. Quentina has to take care of you, a giant baby, when she is hundreds of years old. It’s tough for her. I’d go on strike if it were me.” Lilianna said, “Well… in fact, humans can live for a month without eating and drinking water. Hold on. I’ll bring you food next week…”

“It’s worse than that!” Augusta interrupted her pointless speculation. “That old bastard Cavaldien sent me a werewolf! Now he’s allied with Quentina to take over my house! Except for the study room and the research room, all the other places are occupied!”

“Oh…” Lilianna said with a long sigh, “Do you want me to teach you a foolproof strategy?”

“Teach me! Please!”

“Go out.”

“No problem!”

“Find Quentina.”

“Okay!”

“And surrender to her.”

“… What the hell?”

“At least it will save your dog’s life.”

“I’ll die either way!” Augusta dropped the phone angrily. He couldn’t count on Lilianna, such an unreliable person, at the critical moment! He had to learn to save himself!

The magician moved to the ladder against the shelf and climbed it, intending to find the most powerful book among his magic books’ thick rows. 

The most ferocious witch in history? The witch was just as unreliable as Lilianna. What about the ancient curses list? Most of those curses were failed ones. The Origin and Prospect of black magic? Bah, there’s nothing to look forward to. Let Your Opponent Suffer: The Great Mage Mobius Teaches You A Hundred Practical Curses. This sounds good. Although I would like to explore why Mobius wrote a book of curses, the priority is to recapture the lost land.

Augusta pulled out the book and couldn’t wait to open it. However, the book was so thick that it weighed like a heavy stone and almost broke his arms. The magician, who had been staying at home all year round and lacked exercise, lost his balance and fell off the ladder as soon as he turned open the cover.

If Augusta were a typical magician, he would have cast a spell to reduce his fall’s speed, such as feathering or buffering. But he was not a general magician, so when he fell, his mind worked as quickly as electricity and cast a space transfer magic!

Bang!

“Ah!”

Two loud noises were heard at the same time.

Augusta patted the dust off his clothes and was pleased to see that he had succeeded in rescuing himself with his magic. The victim of the space transfer magic, Kyfayar, was pressed on the ground by him, acting as a human air cushion.

The young werewolf had been cleaning the living room happily with Quentina when he was immediately transported to the study and was instantly hit by a heavy object, for the second time today!

“What a pain! It hurts! I’m going to die!” He screamed.

Augusta slapped him on the head, “Shut up!”

Kyfayar shut up. With tears in his eyes, he watched the magician get up from his back, straighten his pajamas as if nothing had happened, and then say without any apology, “You’re too thin. It hurts me too much.”

“I don’t mind fattening him up a little bit,” said Quentina, the vampire.

“Don’t waste my food!”

“Come on. It’s not like you to cook a meal yourself.”

“Even if I don’t make it, it’s still bought with my money!”

Quentina thought for a moment and waved to the werewolf. “Well, let’s go and let the great Augusta feed himself.”

Kyfayar got up from the ground, rubbed his aching waist, and followed Quentina, feeling wronged. They soon disappeared through the stairs, and soon the door was slammed, marking that the two had left the house.

Augusta held his magic book for a few seconds.

What the hell! He thought. I haven’t done anything yet! It was so easy to take back my lost land? It shouldn’t be so simple! It must be a conspiracy. It must be!

The magician put the book on his desk, turned, and ran downstairs, checking all the windows and locks to make sure the vampire hadn’t tampered with it. He even sacrificed his magic to perform small detection spells. Because vampires were born magicians, Quentina might have set magic traps.

Everything was business as usual. It seemed that the vampire and her werewolf minion, who had just become a housekeeper, had retreated. Enchanted in the joy of victory, Augusta flew back to his study, intending to send an excellent report to Lilianna.

Then he smelled a strange scent.

Fragrant, attractive, sweet, with sauce and natural smoke — the scent of barbecue.

Augusta rushed to the window and was horrified to see Quentina and Kyfayar setting up a bonfire in his yard, roasting meat! How dare they have a picnic in his courtyard! How delicious the meat looks!

The smell of the barbecue reminded Augusta that he hasn’t eaten for nearly a day. He was so hungry that his saliva was about to flow out of his mouth under the lure of meat’s smell.

Chill! The magician warned himself. I’m Augusta, the one who nearly won the sixth magic road challenge with Cavaldien! I’m not going to lose to a mere physical desire! Even Lilianna said that people can live for a month without eating! I can wait for Lilianna to help me! I’m not afraid!

The cheers of Quentina and Kyfayar wafted into his ears in the wind, which intensified his hunger.

“It’s very nice of you, miss Quentina.”

“Eat slowly, and don’t choke. Do you want some cumin powder?”

“Thank you! I’m so happy to have your delicious food!”

“What a sweet mouth you have! Here. Take some more.”

Augusta was despondent and angry.

“You two bastards!” He pushed open the window and yelled at the two people who were having a picnic in the courtyard, “Come back to me! I want to eat too!”

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Translator Notes:

  1. A joke. In Asian countries, a male who is over 30 and still a virgin is considered a magician.
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We are a group that translates Japanese Yaoi manga and Chinese BL novels. Remember to comment on our chapters or leave a review and rating on Novel Updates, it encourages us!

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4 Comments
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Elaves
Elaves
December 18, 2020 5:09 pm

I’m loving this story. Quentina is awesome!

Karai
December 19, 2020 9:44 am

Again it is said that Augusta isn’t an ordinary magician… so what kind of magician is he? I bet Cavaldien was rolling with laughter after he gave Kyfayar THAT advice.

Thank you for the chapter!!!

Tigress84
December 19, 2020 1:02 pm

Lol

Kurori
December 21, 2020 6:51 pm

It is so funny. Augusta reminds me a little but of Sheldon Cooper from BigBangTheory XD
Quentina is so good. She knows hiw to deal whith grumpy tsundere Augusta. XD
Thank you very much for this chapter.

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