Creature Farm Chapter 3: Warm Your Bed

Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: Sulo

Augusta swallowed Quentina’s food with hatred. He felt that he had never been so humiliated in his life. He threw away his armor in front of the meat roasted by the vampire and werewolf. The most humiliating thing was that he thought the barbecue was delicious. 

When Quentina put a few slices of meat on the grill and regretfully said it was the last batch, Augusta had a dispute with the werewolf youth. He used his precious magic to put a padlock on Kyfayar and let him play dead on the garden lawn for ten minutes before he could get the last barbecue. He chewed the barbecue as he triumphantly went back to the house, leaving Kyfayar, who was howling, and Quentina, who had told him to clean the grill. Then he suddenly realized: What the hell was there to be proud of!?

The werewolf must be sent away! He drew back to his study, rubbed his hands, and thought up plans. Werewolves were not easy to deal with. They were quick and hard on the front. It would be better to tie him up and pack him while he was asleep. Yes, that’s it!

He immediately happily searched for the magic that would make the young werewolf sleep and stay unconscious even if Pompeii erupted under his butt. He secretly copied down several express company numbers from the phone book to pick up packages at night. He didn’t want to wait a second. He had to send Kyfayar away at night!

When he was ready, he looked with satisfaction at the copied spell and the wall clock — it was midnight. Unlike most magicians who liked to stay up late and start their day at noon, Augusta kept good working and resting habits. He should have gone to bed at this time. But the werewolf didn’t necessarily have the same habits as him. Considering the average person’s sleep time, Augusta decided to start at 2 a.m. Before that, he would rest.

He quietly closed the door of his study and sneaked back into his bedroom. He did not even turn on the light to not disturb others and went to the bedside in the dark. Complacently, he lifted the quilt.

“Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah! What the fuck?!” The magician screamed and retreated, both hands full of red magic fire, ready to burn everything on the bed to ashes.

An object rolled down from the bed, knelt on the ground, and screamed, “Don’t kill me, Lord Augusta! Forgive me!”

Augusta took a close look. “Kyfayar?” In the light of the fire, he saw his face — it was Kyfayar.

Augusta put out the magic fire and turned on the light. The bedroom lit up. Kyfayar was on his knees in tears, completely naked, without a pair of underwear.

“What are you doing on my bed?”

Kyfayar was shocked, “I… I’ll warm your bed for you!”

The magician felt like a blood vessel had exploded in his brain. “Who told you to do that?! I didn’t give that order!”

“You can’t say that! If you tell me to do everything first, then won’t I just be a robot? As a loyal servant, I must think about what you think and act upon it. I will get things done before you open your mouth, so that…”

“I don’t want anyone to warm my bed at all!” Augusta interrupted him angrily. “It’s spring, not winter. What kind of bed needs to be warmed up! Even in winter, there’s another thing called ‘heating.’ Do you know that?”

Kyfayar looked at Augusta with wet blue eyes like a dog who knew he had made a mistake. “But you don’t seem to have heating in your house.” He said pitifully, “Do you need me to warm your bed in winter?”

Augusta thumped himself on his chest to keep from fainting. Stop worrying about warming up the bed! He warned himself that this guy will go around being a problem and pull your IQ to the same level as him! Then you will lose! 

“I said there is no need to warm the bed!” He stared at Kyfayar firmly and said without a doubt, “And why aren’t you dressed?”

“Because heat transfers faster without clothes!” Kyfayar was so happy that he seemed to have finally accomplished a significant event worthy of commendation.

“Go away! Get out of here! In the future, you are not allowed to enter my bedroom without my permission!” Augusta pointed to the bedroom door and ordered Kyfayar to leave. The young werewolf stood up and left without covering up his essential parts. Augusta slammed the door behind him to express his dissatisfaction. He went back to bed and glanced at the wrinkled sheets and quilts that Kyfayar had slept in. Fortunately, he was not a germaphobe. Otherwise, he would not be able to sleep.

He put on his pajamas, snapped his fingers, turned off the light, climbed into bed, and thought angrily that he must send the werewolf away! From where it came from, back to whence it came! Besides, he had to ‘thank’ Cavaldien, who gave him this gift and make him regret making such a ‘wise’ decision.

Augusta was gnashing his teeth in bed. Suddenly, the bedroom door creaked open. The magician sat up acutely, turned on the bedside lamp, and gazed warily at the door’s crack, ready to blast the whole door and the person behind it to the Galilean Islands.

A shaggy head sneaked through the crack in the door.

“Lord Augusta,” Kyfayar gasped, “may I come in?”

“No.” Augusta refused coldly.

The door opened wider. The young werewolf had put on his pajamas (his sleeves and trouser legs were too short because they were initially Augusta’s), and he settled on the ground with a soft feather pillow in his arms.

“What do you want? I said, no coming in!” Augusta was nervous.

“Can I… I sleep with you?”

Augusta grabbed the quilt, covered his chest, and said in horror, “No! What are you thinking?”

“Don’t get me wrong!” Kyfayar exclaimed, “I mean, you’re in bed, and I’ll just be lying on the floor next to you…”

“That won’t work either!”

“I dare not sleep alone, I am afraid…”

“My God, how old are you?! Do you want your mother to sing you a lullaby before you go to sleep?”

Kyfayar squashed his mouth shut, aggrieved. “I don’t have a mother. She’s dead.”

Augusta choked.

The werewolf youth continued, “When I was a child, my brother slept with me. When I grew up, I lived in a dormitory, but I was still scared. My brother said it would not work. He wanted to train me, so he sent me to work with Lord Cavaldien, who sent me to you again…” He said, looking expectantly at Augusta, “You… You won’t dislike me, will you? I’m afraid of the dark. I’ll work well. Please don’t send me back.” Then he choked, and his appearance was unfortunate and pitiful.

Augusta’s heart moved, and he couldn’t help feeling pity for him. This guy was also very miserable. If he was really returned to Cavaldien, the latter had a bad character. He didn’t know how badly he would be bullied. Augusta knew Cavaldien and was often choked by Cavaldien. It would be better to leave Kyfayar in the wilderness full of natural enemies than to send him back to Cavaldien.

The magician thought of the spell he had prepared. Casting is troublesome, said a lazy voice in his heart. It’s troublesome to send express delivery. I don’t want to spend so much on an express fee! If you ask the consignee to pay the freight, if Cavaldien refuses to pay, the express will return it, and then the freight price will be borne by me. It is not worth the loss! Besides! Besides, there is nothing wrong with having more people in the house. The werewolf can help wash, cook, do housework, and look after my home. My quality of life will improve, like riding a rocket. I can also spare time to do research. In the future, I will probably not need frequent visits from Lilianna and Quentina to take care of my daily life (they always ridicule me for this because of my lack of life skills) — think about it carefully! There are many advantages!

Augusta covered his mouth, coughed twice, cleared his throat, and quickly said, “I’m not going to send you back.”

“Really?” Kyfayar’s eyes lit up.

The magician sat cross-legged on the bed, pursed his lips, and motioned to the front of the bed, “You can sleep on the floor.”

The young werewolf yelled and put his pillow in the spot designated by Augusta as if he had made a sign that ‘no one else allowed here.’ Then he moved a pile of bedding from the next room, spread it on the ground, and got into the bed at lightning speed.

Augusta fidgeted. He was used to sleeping alone, and suddenly there was another person in the room. He was not used to it.

“I won’t disturb you, sir!” Kyfayar promised.

Augusta sighed. Forget it. It’s done.

“Good night, sir.”

“Good night.” Augusta turned off the lights. The bedroom was dark, and he could see nothing before his eyes adapted to the darkness. Still, he could feel the werewolf youth’s burning eyes falling on him, making him get goosebumps.

“Lord Augusta,” Kyfayar gasped again, “you are very kind to me.”

The magician turned over and suddenly felt a blush cover his face. He yelled, “Shut up and sleep!” 

The next day, Augusta, as usual, woke up on time under the call of his biological clock. He sat on the bed, looking sleepily at the floor beside the bed. It was empty, with no bedding and no werewolf.

Yesterday… Was a werewolf sent to my house? He covered his head and thought vaguely. It’s not a dream. It’s true. But where is he now?

He sniffed the air and unexpectedly smelled the scent of fried eggs. For a moment, the two thoughts of ‘something bad’ and ‘such a good thing in the world’ appeared in his mind simultaneously. Instead of changing his clothes, he rushed to the kitchen in his pajamas and saw Kyfayar working on the stove in his apron.

“Ah, Lord Augusta, are you awake?” Kyfayar’s energetic voice was mixed with the sizzling sound of fried eggs. “You got up so early. I heard Lord Cavaldien say that most mages would not get up until it is nearly noon.”

Augusta stared at him. “You… What are you doing?”

“Making breakfast!”

“You can cook?”

“What do you think of me? Just one fried egg is easy.” Kyfayar said, tearing a piece of paper from the cupboard. “Don’t worry about anything else. Miss Quentina left me a recipe. According to her,” he imitated a female vampire’s voice, “if you follow my recipe, everyone can cook delicious food unless you are an idiot or Mr. Augusta.”

… That damned female vampire!

“By the way, sir, I’ve decided to move into the room next to you,” Kyfayar added. “Do you mind?”

Augusta couldn’t keep up with the thinking of the werewolf youth. “Ah? Okay, but why? Didn’t you say you dare not sleep alone?”

Kyfayar looked embarrassed, “Because… when you sleep at night, you grind your teeth. It’s really noisy…”

“Go away! Get out of here now!” Augusta was furious.

“Sob, sir, I am wrong. I will move back to your bedroom. Please don’t drive me away!”

“No moving back!”