Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations
“Get up!!! You lazy dog!”
The sharp sound pierced Kyfayar’s eardrum like an arrow. He fell to the ground, and the hair on his tail stood up far enough that it made his leg hurt. Augusta mumbled, covered his head with a blanket and continued to sleep.
“What’s the matter? Is there an earthquake?” Kyfayar looked left and right. The earth was safe and the hut was safe. It was already light out, and the window of the room was wide open.
The unicorn’s head squeezed into the window, snorting contemptuously, “You’re lazy and you’re dozing off, huh?! I knew you were not a good thing, lazy bones!”
Kyfayar stretched out and his mouth curled. “You stupid horse, you still have the face to say that to me?! You ran so fast last night that Miss Quentina and I were left to do all the work. Where have you been all night?”
“It’s none of your business! Is Augusta dead? Is that why you want to investigate my alibi?”
“Mr. Augusta is doing very good. Can you not say the word ‘dead’ all the time?”
“If I say ‘dead’, will others really die? Then I am not a great prophet!”
“Shut up, you pessimist!”
The unicorn spat on Kyfayar’s face. The young werewolf covered his face and yelped as he avoided the saliva attack. The unicorn was so happy that he smacked his lips and ordered, “Open the door!”
“Why? Are you coming in? Give up. Miss Quentina has just cleaned the floor and if you come in and get it dirty, she’ll cut off your tail and make a head rope!”
“Nonsense! Open the door when you are told to! Or I’ll spit at Augusta!” The unicorn turned to the bed and was ready to spit. Kyfayar thought for a moment that the unicorn might really do such a wretched thing, so he had to comply to its words.
He opened the door, and the fresh morning breeze came to his face, which gave him a lift.
However, there was no unicorn in sight, except for a wicker basket on the ground in front of the door, which was full of fresh raspberries, tender red fruits, green wild vegetables and various mushrooms. Kyfayar picked up the basket and found it was quite heavy. Who would be kind enough to put a basket of food in front of the door? He had been sleeping and Quentina was busy boiling the herbs. Was it the one who woke him up, the unicorn? The unicorn had disappeared all night. Did he go to the forest to collect ingredients?
“Unicorn! Did you find these? Thank you for your help!” Kyfayar called out.
“Fuck you! I didn’t mean to help you!” The unicorn yelled, and with the distant sound of a horse’s hooves, Kyfayar caught a glimpse of a silver shadow disappearing into the forest.
Although this guy was very annoying most of the time, he was also cute occasionally. Wait, the unicorn didn’t have hands! How did he collect these raspberries? Did he turn into his human form?
Kyfayar imagined the unicorn in the form of a fuzzy, silver haired man, with a basket in his arm, jumping up and down the forest naked. Kyfayar shuddered and closed the door. He didn’t know if the fresh morning wind was too cold but he had goosebumps.
He entered the kitchen to see that Quentina had filled several bottles of strangely colored herbal juice. Kyfayar sympathized with Lord Augusta at the thought that he would have to drink this blood-sucking witch’s potions.
“What’s in your hand?” Quentina stared curiously at Kyfayar’s basket.
“Raspberries, wild fruits, wild vegetables and mushrooms.” Kyfayar carried the basket to the stove. “I don’t know if there is any poison. I hope not.”
The female vampire widened her eyes and said with great emotion, “Is there really a forest fairy with a good heart in the world? She came to help us when we were in trouble?”
“…Your imagination is too rich. It was the unicorn.”
“Ah, how can it be! He has no hands!”
“I think he went as a human being…”
Quentina looked at the basket and was silent for a moment. “Fortunately, I didn’t meet him when I went out. I’m glad I did not see a naked man picking mushrooms in the forest…”
“…Obviously, it’s not a common thing. But why does it become a little abnormal when you say it…”
“What are you saying?! Only a pervert would say that!” Quentina shook her head in disgust, took a wooden tray out of the cupboard and put her special potions on it. “Come on, it’s Mr. Augusta’s time to take it!”
She looked like a commanding head nurse, and Kyfayar, her new intern, who were preparing to majestically patrol the ward together. In fact, Augusta was shocked by their momentum (and the tray full of disgusting colored potions). He grabbed the blanket like a hamster and shrank to the corner of the bed in horror, muttering in a trance, “Don’t come closer. If you come closer again, I won’t be polite…”
“Take the medicine!” Quentina grabbed a bottle and poured it impolitely into Augusta’s mouth. The magician dodged and flailed on the bed, but the potion still slipped down his throat. The vampire didn’t let him go until the bottle was empty.
Augusta collapsed on the bed. He pointed at Quentina, like a dying person trying his best to accuse the murderer, “You… Rebellion…”
Quentina ignored him. “Kyfayar, remember, make him take this medicine three times a day, one whole bottle at a time. Don’t leave even one drop.”
Kyfayar was shocked. Does she want me to force Augusta to take his medicine? No, I can’t do it. “Can you trust me with such an important task? You…You should do it yourself?”
“I haven’t slept for a day and a night. It’s daylight again. I want to find a dark place to sleep…” Quentina looked out of the window sadly. “The sun is so big. It’s like an explosive bomb…”
“To be precise, it’s not an image. The sun is a nuclear bomb,” Augusta said hoarsely, “because there’s nuclear fusion on the surface of the sun all the time. Damn it, I’m a magician. Why should I be explaining this scientific truth to you?”
Quentina beamed with joy, “You were just like a withered vegetable. Are you energetic now? It must be my herbs!”
Augusta asked, “What dark place are you going to sleep in? Under the bed?”
Quentina grabbed the pillow and made a gesture to hit Augusta. The magican yelled, “Fuck off! Don’t touch my blanket!”
“I found a basement. I have not entered it yet, but I discovered a door in the kitchen. There was originally a pile of debris in the corner of the kitchen. After moving it away, there was a wooden door under it! It must be the entrance to the basement. I’ll just stay there!” The female vampire happily exclaimed.
Kyfayar grabbed at his wolf ears, “But… If the landlord of the cottage piled up debris on top of the door, won’t it mean that he doesn’t want people to find the door, let alone enter the basement? Is it alright if you rush in?”
“What can be the problem? I rented the house. The basement is part of it. I’ll sleep wherever I want!”
Augusta murmured in a sickly voice, “You clearly spent my money to rent it…”
Quentina glared at him, and he didn’t dare to say anything more. “I’m a vampire. What can hurt me in the world? At best, this place is broken and dirty, and it doesn’t match my elegance and beauty.”
Kyfayar had a drop of cold sweat on his forehead. After spending a long time with the unicorn, Miss Quentina also became a narcissist!
“I’ll come out at night, so I’ll leave it to you during the day.” Quentina patted Kyfayar on the shoulder. “The medicine is here. You have to supervise Mr. Augusta to take the medicine on time. There is food from the unicorn in the kitchen. If it is not enough, you can ask him to find more, or you can go hunting by yourself. There are many delicious and slow-moving animals in the forest — cough, I mean, there’s a lot of prey. There are also fish in the nearby pond. The fishing gear is in the kitchen. You can go fishing.”
Kyfayar couldn’t fish and had never hunted. But he was able to pick a few wild fruits. “I see. It’s only half a day. I can handle it. Have a good rest.”
“Then I’ll go.”
Kyfayar sent Quentina to the kitchen.
There was a wooden door on the floor in the corner of the kitchen. It looked so old that it must have been out of sight for a long time. Quentina opened the wooden door. With a little light, they could see a wooden ladder under the door. The rest of the place was dark, so they couldn’t see further in. Quentina stepped on the wooden ladder carefully, for fear that it would not be able to bear her weight. Fortunately, the wooden ladder was not as fragile as she thought.
She went all the way down to the bottom and called out to Kyfayar, “Close the wooden door! But don’t lock it up, or I won’t be able to get out!”
“Okay!” Kyfayar said.
He closed the wooden door and turned to make breakfast. The food from the unicorn was sitting there. However, in less than a minute, only a series of “aaaaaaaaaaah” came from the bottom of his feet and gradually became louder and louder. With a bang, the door of the basement flew open and Quentina, who seemed to have stepped on a rocket, jumped out.
Kyfayar looked at her helplessly, “What happened? Are there any mice in the basement?”
“If it was a mouse, I wouldn’t have screamed!”
“So there are cockroaches? It is said that Blattella germanica is very difficult to deal with…”
“Not a cockroach like creature! No! It’s not a creature at all!” Quentina yelled out of control. “We really rented a haunted house! There’s a body in the basement!”