Chapter 34: Hospital Discharge
Translated by Shiya of Exiled Rebels Scanlations
Even after returning to the hospital, Li Sui still felt very unreal, as if he were dreaming.
Lu Shang was finally at ease, so he fell asleep on the way back, faintly leaning on Li Sui’s shoulder on the way; he had zero strength left. Li Sui could sense Lu Shang was still burning up, and that made him worry. It was snowing so much, and he still ran all the way out here; even a healthy person wouldn’t be able to take it, much less a patient who just had an operation. When they got back, Li Sui helped Lu Shang change back to the hospital gown. After taking off Lu Shang’s clothes, he saw the hickeys he made were still there, he bit too hard on some places, some bruises had hints of purple on the edges. Looking at the bruises, Li Sui felt terribly depressed.
Lu Shang seemed to be sleeping very well; he didn’t even move a little. Li Sui pulled the blanket up, then walked out of the room to find Leung ZiRui.
The whole building was mostly empty, no one was in the management office, there were only a few doctors on duty in the emergency room. It was only then that Li Sui remembered—it was New Year’s Eve, so most people were already home celebrating with their families.
Li Sui didn’t feel right calling other doctors, so after thinking for a while, he decided to call Leung ZiRui anyways. Firecrackers were burning on the other end of the phone, so it was extremely noisy. After listening to Li Sui’s description, Leung ZiRui sighed, “It’s fine, just let him sleep. In the past two days of your absence, he thought you were gone, and he was really depressed, so he couldn’t recover well. Now that you’re back, he’s at ease and dares to sleep.”
Li Sui’s gaze moved to the person lying on the bed, and his hands clenched subconsciously.
“Li Sui, it’s rare for him to fall for someone, he’s basically risking his life for this. So, treasure your time together and live happily, don’t fight…”
Leung ZiRui said something else as well, but Li Sui wasn’t listening anymore—only Lu Shang was in his mind. Li Sui sat on the side of the bed, and he held Lu Shang’s hand tightly, his heart clenching.
Li Sui thought he understood the things Lu Shang did for him clearly, but now that he looked back, Li Sui noticed that this person here did a lot more than he thought. On the surface, Lu Shang never said anything, but behind his back, Lu Shang had prepared almost everything for him. More importantly, Lu Shang always put Li Sui’s safety first.
Perhaps Lu Shang was feeling hot; his lips twitched a little, his mouth sometimes opened up, and the skin around his neck was slightly red. The protrusion at his throat was moving up and down slightly, as his collar bones, evident due to his skinniness, moved along with his breathing.
Li Sui pulled down the blanket a little, then picked up the wet towel on the bedside table to wipe away Lu Shang’s sweat. Lu Shang was in a deep sleep, but even so, he still seemed to have a shred of consciousness remaining. When Li Sui was wiping the sweat from Lu Shang’s head, he held onto Li Sui’s wrist, not really willing to let go. The feeling of being needed made Li Sui feel warm; since Lu Shang wasn’t letting go of his wrist anyway, he decided to turn the lights off, removing his own jacket, then snuggling into bed with Lu Shang just like all the nights before. Li Sui fell asleep as he hugged Lu Shang while only wearing a simple shirt.
Having Li Sui here had at least one benefit, which was that the patient, Lu Shang, would be more willing to listen to his doctor’s orders. Lu Shang thought of bitter medicine as monsters and calamities, he was naturally avoiding even medicines that were not going to make him throw up. If he could avoid taking medicine, he’d avoid as much as possible. Li Sui finally understood why Leung ZiRui was always so angry with Lu Shang—even Li Sui needed to use lies and sweet talks to get Lu Shang to take his medicine.
“Is it really not bitter?” Lu Shang picked up the medicine while frowning.
Li Sui said with a straight and serious face, “It’s really not bitter, it’s sweet.”
As if Lu Shang had just taken out all the courage he had, he put the medicine into his mouth. The second it came into contact with his tongue, though, Lu Shang knew he was tricked. He was just about to spit the medicine out when Li Sui moved over to cover his mouth. Li Sui kissed him, forcing him to swallow the medicine; when Li Sui let backed away, he laughed, “It’s not bitter, right?”
Lu Shang was amused, he didn’t even care about the bitterness in his gullet anymore, “Hmn. It’s sweet.”
After the Chinese Valentine’s, Lu Shang was finally discharged from the hospital and returned to their house. Li Sui found time to buy some New Year’s supplies, asking Aunt Lu to prepare a whole table full of delicacies, hoping Lu Shang would get better and stronger. Though at the end, most of the food went into Li Sui’s stomach.
Maybe it was because they cleared all their problems up, but after getting discharged, Lu Shang was in much better spirits than before, and color returned to his face. Whenever he had free time, he’d go look at the fishing pole Li Sui gave him, and he didn’t even want to put it back for bed.
“Do you want to go fishing?” Li Sui walked out of the shower room to see the anticipation on Lu Shang’s face, he just couldn’t help but ask.
“Hmn, but it’s not the right season now.” Lu Shang put the fishing pole back into the box, then waved his hand at Li Sui, “Come and have a chat with me.”
Li Sui climbed onto the bed, placing his hands on Lu Shang’s waist loosely, pulling Lu Shang to his chest. The two of them looked at each other; Li Sui knew that Lu Shang was about to set some dating rules, but the second he began thinking about how Lu Shang was his lover, he just couldn’t help feeling giddy inside.
“Promise me two things,” Lu Shang looked straight into Li Sui’s eyes. “Number one, no matter what happens in the future, don’t even think about a heart transplant. If one day, I woke up and found that your heart is inside me, the first thing I will do is to rip it out with a knife, do you understand?”
Li Sui had a complicated expression, but even with the mixed feelings, he nodded his head, “I understand, but you have to take good care of yourself too, don’t stay up late and no drinking. If you encounter any problems, tell me, we can deal with them together.”
What Li Sui said sounded pretty reasonable, Lu Shang nuzzled up to him and rested for a bit, then continued, “The second thing, you still have to study. I’ve already applied for a place for you; it will last for two years. Choose a time to go there for registration.”
Li Sui froze the second he heard they would be separated again, and he immediately showed reluctance on his face. Lu Shang laughed a little at the sight, then he continued, “But you can come back once a month—if you don’t find that troublesome, that is.”
“Not troublesome, definitely not troublesome.” Li Sui asked again, “Can I come back twice a month?”
“The two-way trip will take at least two days. If you do that, when will you get any rest?” Lu Shang had a pretty smile on his face, his eyelids were half-closed, his Adam’s apple was sliding slightly, giving off a slothful aura. The color of the lights in the room was warm, making Lu Shang especially alluring as the lights shone onto the side of his face.
Li Sui’s heart twitched, he couldn’t stop himself from kissing him.
Lu Shang saw the slight changes in Li Sui’s eyes, he had a light smile as he asked, “Do you want to do it?”
Li Sui froze, his ears turned red, and with a tiny voice, he asked, “Is that okay?”
Lu Shang climbed up from the bed; his hand reached for the drawer, and taking out a pack of condoms and lubricant, he said, “Well, since we’re together, this kind of stuff is unavoidable.”
Li Sui felt extremely guilty, he moved forward to hug Lu Shang, “I’m sorry… about the last time.”
Lu Shang patted Li Sui’s back, “Don’t overthink it. Uncle Yuen hadn’t gone far yet, so if I was really against it, I could’ve just screamed and he’d have come back in.”
“You…” The corners of Li Sui’s eyes turned red.
Lu Shang held Li Sui’s hand as he said simply, “Li Sui, I seldom say the word ‘love’ out loud, and the time I have left might be scarce, but I’m going to place all the emotions I’m capable of in your hands.”
Hints of sourness and bitterness rushed into Li Sui’s heart. Li Sui had been trying to hold his tears in for all this time, but still he failed. He was prepared to hide his feelings for Lu Shang for his entire life, but one day, he realized that he was inside of Lu Shang’s heart as well. His long-empty heart was suddenly stuffed full by the confession, it was stuffed so full that Li Sui didn’t know what to say. He only managed to hug Lu Shang tightly and called out his name, “Lu Shang…”
Lu Shang let him hug his fill, then laughed a bit, “Okay, how long are you going to keep me waiting?”
Li Sui finally snapped out of the hugging; he wiped his face clean, then moved back a little to take in the sight of Lu Shang clearly. After getting Lu Shang’s permission, he moved in to land soft kisses onto Lu Shang’s eyes, nose, mouth… One of Li Sui’s hands snuck into Lu Shang’s clothes; just as Li Sui expected, Lu Shang was already hard.
It was as if a warm blanket was covering Li Sui’s heart; his breaths turned heavy as he followed his instincts and lingered on Lu Shang’s skin.
Since Lu Shang had been using painkillers and anesthetics for years, his sensory receptors were actually not all that sensitive. Perhaps due to the atmosphere, the interactions at his nerve terminals had been magnified, and just gentle little kisses were able to lit sparks of fire in Lu Shang.
Li Sui didn’t know anything about skill, he was just gently caressing Lu Shang’s skin. Yet, that alone made Lu Shang’s breathing chaotic; his body trembled, he was so sensitive that he could almost sense the lines on Li Sui’s fingertips.
The more retained Lu Shang’s expression was, the more fueled Li Sui got. Li Sui could almost feel something destructive growing in him, he even felt the urge to just go wild. Li Sui raised his hand to undo Lu Shang’s clothes, trailing kisses down towards Lu Shang’s abdomen, followed by licking and sucking around the abdominal area.
“Don’t…” Lu Shang had a hunch what Li Sui was about to do, so he reached his hand down in an attempt to stop him.
“Let me try,” Li Sui said seriously as he moved Lu Shang’s hand away. Intentionally, Li Sui raised his head, staring at the blushing Lu Shang, as he put Lu Shang’s member into his mouth.
“Hmm!” Lu Shang was frowning hard; his mouth was opened slightly, letting out soft moans that he failed to hold in as his body trembled uncontrollably. Obviously, this was too big of a stimulus to Lu Shang, both physically and mentally.
Li Sui was used to seeing Lu Shang’s serious and calm expression; the expression Lu Shang had now, being tormented by lust, almost made Li Sui lose his mind. Li Sui really wanted to fuck him as hard as he could, to rip Lu Shang’s cold mask clean off, to see Lu Shang sink deep into desire and ask for more from him, to see Lu Shang’s face colored in redness and his clothes all messy, asking for his forgiveness.
Cheered on by the moans, Li Sui licked and sucked with more force. Li Sui really didn’t have much skill, but he did sincerely want Lu Shang to feel good, giving all he had into every movement, and making Lu Shang lose it time and time again. As if Lu Shang was thrown into the clouds, he felt everything blurring as Li Sui bobbed his head.
The temperature in the room continued to ascend as watery sounds mixed with thick moans scattered around the room.
Lu Shang quickly reached his limits under the ever-growing pleasure; he felt his senses giving out when the numbing excitement filled him to the brim, something he had never experienced before reached his brain, his nerves went haywire for several seconds. When Lu Shang’s scattered soul finally returned to his own body, he realized that he was completely out of breath, feeling a lack of strength all over.
Li Sui pulled out a piece of paper towel from the bedside drawer. After cleaning up his mouth, he turned around and nuzzled his head up to Lu Shang’s face. With a tone that sounded like he was asking for praise, he asked, “Did it feel good?”
This was the first time Lu Shang had sex with someone; he only leaned against the pillow and gasped, staring at Li Sui and didn’t manage to say a word. Li Sui’s eyes met with Lu Shang’s gaze, he leaned down to hold Lu Shang in his arms.
Lu Shang buried his face in Li Sui’s neck; he had a slight smile on his face, and his expression seemed a bit overwhelmed. Li Sui smiled as he thought that he was most likely the only one who had seen this expression on Lu Lao Ban’s face.
“Are you still fine?” Li Sui touched him on the chest, trying to feel his heart.
“Hmn.” Lu Shang said. After resting for a while, he moved his legs a little and said, “Go ahead.”
Li Sui kissed him on the forehead, “Tell me anytime if you feel uncomfortable.”
Reaching for the lubricant on the side, Li Sui pushed the nervousness in his heart back. He picked a bit of the lubricant up with his fingertips, then quickly reached to Lu Shang’s behind, gently pressing the edge of the opening first. Lu Shang’s body was really soft and his inside was no exception. Especially since Lu Shang had just released once, his body was completely unguarded, so entering was quite easy. Li Sui slowly slid his finger in as he observed Lu Shang’s reaction.
“Does it hurt?” Li Sui asked; he was still scarred by his last attempt, hesitant in his heart for fear of hurting Lu Shang again.
Lu Shang closed his eyes and shook his head, his expression looked like he was actually enjoying it.
Li Sui could also sense that Lu Shang’s insides were soft and warm this time, nothing like the stiffness and feverishness he felt when he forcibly entered last time. Perhaps Lu Shang was relaxed now; Li Sui could feel Lu Shang’s insides tightening around his finger, getting accustomed to the foreign object, and that made pushing in much easier. Li Sui slowly added up to three fingers, making Lu Shang relax with his words and carefully massaging and expanding his insides at the same time.
Li Sui’s member was long swollen, he was holding back really hard and that made him sweat all over. Even so, his hands weren’t showing any impatience at all, he continued scissoring his fingers, opening Lu Shang’s insides, pressing rhythmically on the soft wall.
Lu Shang was tormented so much by Li Sui’s fingers that his breathing was a complete mess, his Adam’s apple bobbed a few times, then he impatiently gave Li Sui a look that read “OK”.
At last, Li Sui stopped the movements on his fingers. He tore out a condom and put it on, bending over to kiss the other; their hot breaths intertwined, and the desire in the room reached its peak.
“Lu Shang…”, Li Sui muttered into his ear. One of his hands held Lu Shang’s weak waist, while the other grabbed ahold of Lu Shang’s finger. Semi-forcibly moving Lu Shang’s hand to hold Li Sui’s hard member, aiming it at Lu Shang’s entrance and slowly pushing it in. “Can you feel that? You are… Hmm… mine alone…”
“Ah……” Having to feel the process of being filled in such a detailed way was too much for Lu Shang, in that instant he actually had the impulse to flee. With his own hand, Lu Shang sent the bulging hot object into his body little by little, feeling the hot mass being integrated into himself, merging into one. He opened his mouth without making any sounds as he felt goose bumps forming all over him at the sudden intrusion. At the same time, a painful and indescribable sensation of penetration spread through his brain, as if his intestinal wall were melting, enveloping the slowly invading foreign object tightly, trying to make it his own.
The entry was slow, but it didn’t have any intention of stopping, it thrusted straight to the end at the first go.
Nothing went wrong, so both of them were relieved. Li Sui saw the expression Lu Shang had as he tried to cooperate with him despite the discomfort, it made him feel indescribably touched, he pulled Lu Shang into his embrace as he kissed him.
That action moved their lower bodies along, causing the heat and softness to rub against each other, as if they were electrified. This was a first for both of them, their sensitivities were at their highest, and that sudden stimulation elicited soft moans from them.
Li Sui moved his head that was covered in sweat to see Lu Shang lying on the bed beneath him, his neck arching up slightly as Li Sui moved, his eyes were foggy and his hole was stretched open to the limit, enveloping Li Sui’s member tightly. This scene was at least a hundred times more exciting than the images Li Sui had pictured in his dreams.
Even so, he hadn’t had his fill just yet. He held Lu Shang’s legs up at the underside of his thighs and moved a few times, Lu Shang was defeated by the small thrusts. He tried to retreat backwards by moving his waist a little, but his waist was without strength, so he could basically do nothing but open his legs wide and let Li Sui do whatever he wanted. After several rounds of withdrawing and ramming, Lu Shang was completely overwhelmed by the pleasure, and his eyes were gradually covered by a layer of watery mist.
The room was hot, it was filled with their desires. Li Sui moved gently, leaning down for kisses from time to time, the bed squeaked under their weights, and the shameful sounds of wetness and moans filled the room.
Li Sui still had his shirt on, and at that moment, it was a huge hindrance to him, so he took all of it off.
Lu Shang lay on the bed with his head up a little, staring at him attentively; he found the body in front of him so dazzling that he couldn’t even move his eyes away.
Li Sui was no longer a teenager; his chest had grown stronger when Lu Shang wasn’t looking, and his build was obviously much stronger than Lu Shang’s own. His abdominal muscles formed evident lines. In Lu Shang’s eyes, Li Sui was just as beautiful as the male models on advertisement posters.
Lu Shang panted heavily as he reached his hand out to touch it. Li Sui understood his intentions and caught his hand, putting it directly on his sturdy muscles, he even deliberately flexed a little.
While giving a few gentle pushes at his lower body, Li Sui pressed Lu Shang’s hand beside the pillow. He then leaned over and intentionally let his hot breaths ghost into Lu Shang’s ear, “Do they look good? You like those a lot, right?”
Li Sui was afraid of hurting Lu Shang, so his movements were always gentle, as if he were trying to tickle someone. Lu Shang was teased by the slow thrusts so much that he was in a daze and he nodded without much thought.
Getting Lu Shang’s affirmation was just so exhilarating to Li Sui; he quickly sealed Lu Shang’s lips up, as if he could never get enough of kissing.
Sensing that Lu Shang’s breath was becoming more and more ragged, Li Sui decided to just pull him up by the waist, gently holding the whole of Lu Shang up with his hands, making Lu Shang sit on his lap. Lu Shang didn’t have enough physical strength, his weak waist couldn’t handle all of Li Sui’s persistence. Afraid that he would just fall over, Lu Shang clung onto Li Sui’s shoulders tightly, as if he would turn into a puddle of water if he were to be apart from Li Sui. Li Sui’s desire expanded instantly. He hugged Lu Shang and made a powerful thrust, ramming a lot deeper than he did before, and both of them squinted their eyes under the sensation.
Their position made Li Sui’s member bury deeper into Lu Shang; after embracing each other for a while, both of them were sweaty but satisfied at the same time. Lu Shang began to feel dizzy from the repeated thrusting, tears were hanging off the corners of his eyes and his toes were unconsciously curling up.
Looking at the person who was being thoroughly done by him, Li Sui found himself feeling strongly satisfied, both body and mind. This was the first time Li Sui saw Lu Shang in such a state—his eyes were filled with affection and tenderness while clouded by lust. Li Sui rhythmically thrusted into him, the feeling of accumulating pleasure was unfamiliar to him, and that drove him crazy. Right before they reached the climax, Li Sui couldn’t restrain himself anymore, he gritted his teeth and rammed into Lu Shang fiercely a few times, releasing amidst Lu Shang’s low whimpers.
Li Sui was covered in sweat, and Lu Shang was not any better than Li Sui was, even his bangs were wet. Li Sui kissed him on the forehead, he noticed that Lu Shang was still breathing quite smoothly, only that he was too tired. Lu Shang couldn’t even open his eyes anymore and his lips were fluttering open and close to take in air.
Li Sui gently pulled himself out of Lu Shang, then placed the man back onto the bed. Li Sui checked Lu Shang’s entrance to see that it was not injured, he was only relieved after ensuring that. Lu Shang got out of bed and got a wet towel to clean Lu Shang’s body, then he got a new bedsheet for replacement.
It was dark outside the house, but Li Sui wasn’t sleepy; he leaned his head down to kiss his place of belonging. Happily nuzzling his head up the nape of Lu Shang’s neck, he was feeling so blissful that his eyes were puffy. Li Sui used to wonder why he was different from others, why couldn’t he sit in a classroom to study, why couldn’t he have a complete and loving family, why couldn’t he lead a normal life like everyone else. On this day, he finally got an answer—perhaps the heavens were trying to prepare him for this moment. The past was like a cloud of smoke, the times when he was angry, happy, sad… none of that mattered anymore. His heart was like an ancient well filled with water, where after many years of complete silence, the moonlight finally came by, allowing the water to sparkle.
Lu Shang took some time off from work, they spent the time as if it was their honeymoon. They both stayed at home, did some cooking and reading, they spent the days enjoying a real sense of domestic life.
They seldom had such peaceful and leisurely times. Li Sui didn’t want to leave at all; only now did he understand why the ancient emperors would rather indulge themselves in sex then going to the palace for work. If Li Sui didn’t have to take Lu Shang’s health into consideration, he would also love to just stick to Lu Shang day and night.
Despite all that, Li Sui knew in his heart that no matter how lovely these peaceful, loving days were, it was too early for that, or at least it was not the right time to indulge himself in it. Lu Shang’s disease was a ticking time-bomb, he had no idea when Lu Shang’s disease would relapse. If he didn’t get stronger soon and didn’t find a perfect solution, no matter how great things were now, it would all come to naught in the future—and that was something Li Sui would never want to see. Every time he thought about that, he’d feel the weight of the huge responsibilities that were on his shoulders.
It was a new beginning after the New Year, Tong Yan and Mu Sheng were functioning as usual, and the project in HaiNan Island was also progressing steadily, there wasn’t much that required Lu Shang’s attention. Lu Shang found time to meet up with some friends, and he brought Li Sui with him to dinner. Neither of them said anything, but the others could see the clues.
Xe WeiLan pulled Lu Shang aside after the dinner and asked, “Are you guys together now?”
Lu Shang looked at Li Sui’s back and smiled, “Hmn.”
Xe WeiLan gasped at the sudden confession, but he was not surprised at all, he laughed and asked Lu Shang to invite them over for a meal. Lu Shang promised to do so, and just as he expected, no one would object to him dating someone—for better or for worse.
When they returned home in the evening, Li Sui gave Lu Shang the fishing pole rack, which was made completely by hand—a gesture filled with sincerity. Lu Shang looked at the letters carved on it and smiled softly, “Is this you or me?”
Li Sui kissed him and said, “It’s us.”
The older you get, the less you’d react to the world around you. When you’re a kid, a tiny joke could roll you off the bed, but when you had grown up, it’s hard to even move your lips a little. After you grow up, many might find people who are easily touched too emotional.
In fact, that wasn’t always the case. Some people could still retain those original feelings towards the world, reacting to things with pure love or hate, even after experiencing the pains, joys and sorrows of life, and going through the ups and downs life had to offer. No matter how much waves time would bring, they could still retain his own clarity.
The world never had a set track, children might not always be naive, and adults might not be all sensible and correct. Some people used time to polish their hearts, while others used their hearts to polish time. Drifting with the crowd is easy but having a determined heart like that of a child is difficult.
Lu Shang sat in his vine chair and watched Li Sui concentrate on packing his luggage in the living room. He thought that perhaps because of this, the person in front of him was especially precious, because he had a genuine, pure and bright heart (i).
T/N: (i) This is actually referring to the title “The Heart of a Smith” which is a term in Chinese that means people who have a genuine heart.