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Chapter 41: To Guard

Translated by Shiya of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Under the influence of drugs, Lu Shang slept straight through the night, only waking up the next morning. When he woke up and opened his eyes, he saw morning rays slipping in through the window. At last, his view was no longer limited to complete darkness; he was a little relieved by that. Habitually, he reached for the side of the bed, and no one was there.

Li Sui was absent, there was no temperature in the blanket. It seemed like he didn’t come to bed at all for the whole night.

Lu Shang sat up and found that the furniture beside his bed was gone. For a moment, he thought that his house got a visit from burglars. After some thought, though, he found that unlikely. If it was the handiwork of burglars, they would pry open his safe, but not steal his furniture. So he concluded that his furniture was most likely moved.

Lu Shang changed clothes and went downstairs, he was stunned as soon as he entered the living room.

Overnight, all the tables, chairs, cabinets, walls, and all things slightly sharp were carefully wrapped up in foam paper. While fragile objects, like the turtle tank and glass-made decorations were taken away or placed in high, unreachable places.

If someone entered their house at this time, not knowing anything beforehand, that person would probably think that there were toddlers in the house. Lu Shang stood still, he looked around and felt a slight tremor in his heart. Li Sui stayed up all night yesterday, and this was most likely what he was busy with.

Breakfast was already on the dining table, the food was packed into heat-insulating boxes. Inside was Lu Shang’s favorites: pancakes, boiled eggs, and shrimp porridge. Aunt Lu usually won’t be so detailed in preparation as to peel the eggshells for him, so today’s breakfast must have been prepared by Li Sui. Lu Shang stood in the living room, his fingers touching the corner of the foam wrapped table. In that instant, his emotions boiled up, he couldn’t even put into words what he was feeling. Sometimes Lu Shang wondered, whether he was the one treating Li Sui like a child or if it was Li Sui who was treating him like a child.

There was a loud noise at the door, Li Sui returned from his morning jog with a towel placed around his neck. When Li Sui saw Lu Shang, he obviously faltered slightly. Li Sui stared straight into Lu Shang’s eyes as if he was trying to confirm something.

Lu Shang looked at him with a faint smile, “Morning.”

Li Sui’s face twitched slightly, perhaps because he stayed up late, his eyes looked red and swollen. Lu Shang continued smiling as Li Sui walked right past him, taking medicine out from the drawer. Li Sui placed the medication in front of Lu Shang in silence and went upstairs to take a shower.

The meaning was obvious; Li Sui wanted him to take medicine, but didn’t say a word from beginning to end. Lu Shang looked at Li Sui’s back, his smile faded, and he felt his head ached. Initially, Lu Shang thought Li Sui’s anger would, at most, last through the night. But to persist overnight? Lu Shang didn’t even consider the possibility of that, he never thought he would miscalculate. Li Sui was furious this time.

Their relationship had always been smooth, but now that one side was deliberately ignoring the other, Lu Shang found it a little overwhelming. He probably used up all his talents on his work, because when it came to coaxing his child, he was nothing but clumsy.

After enduring Li Sui’s cold shoulder for the whole day, it was finally Lu Shang’s bedtime. Lu Shang was disappointed when he didn’t see Li Sui come into bed with him. Li Sui was deliberately avoiding him by not sleeping with him.

Lu Shang didn’t know what to do, so he decided to get out of bed and look for him. However, his body had not fully recovered yet, whenever night came, he could not see clearly. He spent a long time searching for his spectacles which should be on the bedside cabinet. Instead of getting his glasses, he knocked them off the cabinet by accident, now he was indeed blind. Lu Shang stood by the bed and dared not make any bold movements. He feared crushing his spectacles, so he could only crouch down and wave his palms on the ground feebly.

Before Lu Shang’s palm even made contact with the carpet though, his hand was held by someone else’s. The person tucked at Lu Shang’s hand, bringing his body close to him and hugged him tightly in his arms.

“What are you doing……” The one holding him seemed emotional, his chest trembled violently. As if the person was stimulated by the sight of Lu Shang trying to pick up his spectacles. “What are you doing……” The person asked again.

Lu Shang was being hugged so tightly that his arms were in pain. He froze in confusion until he felt the heat and wetness on his shoulder. Then he realized, Li Sui was crying.

As if a giant whale was tossing and turning, creating huge waves and causing painful tremors in Lu Shang’s heart. Lu Shang raised his hand and touched Li Sui’s head, he opened his mouth and felt that any words were useless. He did not forget, his little turtle never cried. Even when he was viciously beaten by Li Yan, even when he was at death’s door in the protected woodlands, he never shed a single drop of tear.

“I’m sorry.” Lu Shang closed his eyes, patting Li Sui’s head as he apologized sincerely.

Li Sui only tightened his arms, as if he could no longer hold it back after enduring through the whole day. Tears tumbled down from Li Sui’s eye sockets non-stop as he rubbed his head against Lu Shang’s shoulder.

Lu Shang’s heart ached hearing Li Sui sob in grieve. He stretched out his hand and patted Li Sui on the back. He tried comforting him, “I’m sorry, I have done you wrong. I was wrong. I promise I’ll let you know immediately if anything happens in the future. Don’t be angry with me anymore, please?”

“……I’m not angry with you,” Li Sui said while almost choking. He swallowed down the painfulness stuck in his throat, then grabbing Lu Shang’s hand and placing it on his chest, he said, “I’m heartbroken.”

Li Sui’s heart under his hand was beating strongly, the sound transmitted to Lu Shang through the skin. Lu Shang felt sourness in his nose, he tried to move Li Sui off his shoulder to touch his face. Li Sui firmly lodged himself on Lu Shang’s shoulder and said: “Don’t look.”

Lu Shang slowed down, he understood Li Sui’s wishes of keeping his dignity, so he relaxed and let Li Sui hug him as much as he wanted.

Late at night, the wind blew outside, making the evergreen trees in the front yard shake. Li Sui’s sobbing voice which had been burying in Lu Shang’s shoulder for quite a while gradually stabilized. Li Sui retreated a little as he remembered that Lu Shang could not stand long. Hence, he carefully placed Lu Shang back on the bed. Then Li Sui took off his clothes and turned the lights off, embracing Lu Shang from behind.

After being anxious for the entire day, Lu Shang was actually very tired, but he did not want to fall asleep just yet. Lu Shang clasped his own hand onto Li Sui’s, he continued to hold it, refusing to let go.

Li Sui bent over and kissed Lu Shang’s eye, he laid back down, then whispered beside Lu Shang’s ear, “Lu Shang, I hope you could understand. No matter if you are sick, blind, or even unable to walk. I love all of you, I don’t just love you when you are healthy. I will accompany you for the rest of your life, through aging, sickness, and death. Please don’t block me from your problems, will you?”

In the darkness, Lu Shang’s breathing stopped for a second, he turned over and hugged him, “Silly…”

Ancient people used to say that all gains and losses were long determined by heavens, while sorrow and joy were always a part of life, one must understand heavens and life and be gracious of what’s in front of you. Lu Shang thought that maybe the Gods were right. They took away his healthy heart but blessed him with such a good lover. Perhaps this is what fate was. He never believed in it before, but now he was thankful to the heavens for his life and how lucky he was.

The short two-day break ended soon, Lu Shang’s health was still unstable. Li Sui was not confident in letting Lu Shang go to the company, fearing something like before would happen again. Li Sui decided to move all his work back home instead.

The shareholders’ meeting came to an end, no conclusion was reached last time. Li Sui refused to let Lu Shang attend the meeting alone again. He personally worked out a series of meeting procedures and invited the supervisory committee to oversee the meeting.

Perhaps it was because everyone knew that Lu Shang invested in Mu Sheng. When the meeting was held again, the shareholders’ stance changed. Several old shareholders who had been unwilling to sign before sensed the potential profits, so they mostly caved in. Signing one after another on the proposal.

Liu XinTian did not show his dissatisfaction on the surface, but the popped up blue veins on his forehead betrayed him. Knowing that the shares he owned could not change the result of the vote, he too signed the papers in agreement. Just like that, the shareholders’ meeting ended with listing 40% of profits as company reserves.

After most of his work was done, Li Sui pushed all his agenda away, concentrating entirely on taking care of Lu Shang at home. Maybe due to Lu Shang’s good mood and adequate rest, ever since the last time, Lu Shang’s eyes did not turn temporarily blind. Only occasionally, Lu Shang would fail to see clearly at night, but wearing glasses eased the symptoms. However, when the light outdoors was weak, it was still difficult for Lu Shang to see.

Li Sui hardly interfered with what Lu Shang did, but his watchful eyes never left Lu Shang. Whenever Lu Shang encountered uneven grounds or obstacles, Li Sui would never fail to give him warnings. Sometimes, Li Sui would silently follow behind him when necessary.

After the New Year, the weather became warmer and warmer. Li Sui was relieved, winter was a trial for Lu Shang, the cold weather always hindered the blood flow to his limbs. When it got warmer, however, the situation would be much better.

On the eve of the Qing Ming festival, Li Sui took Lu Shang to the hospital for a check-up. After going through the report, Dr. Leung did not jump up in anger like he usually would; instead he showed a little satisfaction.

“Not bad. If this keeps up. The dosage of medicine next year could be reduced.” He flipped through the report again as he touched his chin, “This is amazing. I thought he wouldn’t even be alive this year. It seems that the connection between dopamine and the heart is bigger than I imagined.”


Leung ZiRui laughed mysteriously and explained, “The human brain secretes a magical substance when people engage in sexual thoughts, its secretion will increase. In the medical field, it is considered to facilitate myocardial contractions, dilation of blood vessels, and is a cardiac tonic.”

Li Sui listened in amazement, “So, you are saying that by engaging in… with him… Well, I mean, are you saying me being with him is a good thing for Lu Shang’s health?”

“Of course,” Leung ZiRui joked, “The body won’t lie. From the results, I’m guessing that his brain had secreted a lot of dopamine for you in recent years.”

Li Sui was for some reason embarrassed, he continued listening to Leung ZiRui mutter, “Such a waste, this is a fascinating case study. If only my teacher was there.”

“Your teacher is studying this?”

Leung ZiRui gave a soft “Hmn” as a reply. He didn’t even raise his head and continued on, “His name is Leon, he’s a Swiss. He’s one of the world’s top cardiologists. All of the heart operations he took up were complicated cases. Unfortunately, he has a bad habit, he likes smoking marijuana, even when he was at school. Eventually, when he got reported, the school dismissed him. After that, he ran all over the world, and no one knew what he was doing during that time. I had found and asked him to help analyze Lu Shang’s case once, but he refused and went to the mountains for some research. I had not seen him after that for a long time.”

After listening to Leung ZiRui, Li Sui found it regrettable, that such a person existed but could not help Lu Shang’s case, “Is he difficult to find?”

“He’s a complete addict with a strange temper, do you think he sounds difficult to find?” Leung ZiRui sorted out the report and pulled out Lu Shang’s medical records from the desk drawer beside him, “Tell me about his usual diet and rest hours.”

Li Sui was all too familiar with these questions, so without even trying to think back, he answered Leung ZiRui’s questions one by one.

Leung ZiRui lowered his head and recorded everything in Lu Shang’s medical record, “And the frequency of bedroom affairs.”

“Once a week.”

Leung ZiRui looked up and said, “False reports will hinder my diagnosis and treatment.”

Li Sui said after a bit, “……Four times a week.”

Leung ZiRui snapped the binder shut loudly, “I remember telling you twice a week at most.”
Lu Shang just happened to open the door in and walked in as Leung ZiRui was scolding Li Sui. Lu Shang interrupted, “When did you start meddling in even this sort of thing?”

“It’s for your own good,” Leung ZiRui barked. “If you insist on being reckless, then be prepared to just die in bed one day, don’t say I didn’t warn you!”

“Oh?” Lu Shang’s eyes lit up, “Dying in bed? That sounds good. It’s much cooler than dying in a hospital bed.”

After that, Lu Shang took Li Sui’s hand and smiled tilting his head, “Let’s go back and try, shall we?”

“You……” Leung ZiRui knew he couldn’t do anything about Lu Shang, so he turned his head to Li Sui and vent his anger on him instead. “He’s a reckless fool, but you should know better, don’t you think?”

Li Sui’s expression was complicated. Looking at Lu Shang, who was pretending to be an asshole. Li Sui thought in agony, of course, he wanted to restrain himself, but he couldn’t really help it.

In the evening, the two of them took a bath together in the bathtub. Li Sui gave Lu Shang’s hair a gentle and careful rub with shampoo.

Lu Shang noticed that Li Sui had something on his mind and asked, “What’s wrong?”

Li Sui spread the shampoo evenly on his hair and said slowly, “I was thinking, Dr. Leung was right.”

Lu Shang disagreed, “You don’t have to care about what he said. My father still died at the hands of his father.”

Li Sui froze, Lu Shang probably realized that his remark was demeaning as well, so he added, “Well, I mean as a heart patient, my father was able to live past 50 years old. That was already a lot longer than expectations, I probably won’t be that lucky though.”

When Li Sui heard that the motion of his hands slowed down as he said earnestly, “Do you remember after you finalized the Golden Sands Shore project proposal, you said you would reward me? You still owe me a request, right?”

Lu Shang looked at him and signaled him to continue with his eyes.

“Now, I ask you to promise me. Promise me that you will live healthily. I’m not going to say let’s reach a hundred years old together, but at least hold out until neither of us can walk. Then we can leave this world together.”

Lu Shang smiled softly, “It’s too boring and long if neither of us can walk. I will try to live until we can’t have sex, okay?”

Li Sui was amused, he washed the bubbles off his hands and put body wash on Lu Shang. The two of them were in very close proximity to each other, so it was easy for them to feel the slight changes in their bodies. As they bathed, Li Sui couldn’t stop himself from lifting Lu Shang’s chin, leaning in and gave his lips a few light pecks. After their lips parted, they stared into each other’s eyes, both seemed a lit up by the kissing.

Lu Shang separated his legs and sat on Li Sui’s lap, embracing each other as they shared numerous kisses, it took them a while to part. Li Sui reached his hand out for the lubricant, sliding his fingers in and expanding Lu Shang’s behind. The atmosphere was pleasant, and Li Sui just couldn’t help himself. After entering smoothly, Li Sui bent his legs up slightly and pushed a few times upwards.

The two men got into the mood quickly. Being caressed in front and on the back at the same time, Lu Shang seemed to be enjoying it so much that his toes were curling up. Li Sui increased the strength of his hand on Lu Shang’s hard erection, making him cum. After that, Lu Shang leaned onto Li Sui’s chest and breathed lightly in exhaustion.

Li Sui kissed him one more time, then pulled his manhood out and dealt with the bulging mass by himself. Li Sui washed both of them clean with the shower nozzle, then got to the bed to blow their hair, neither of them could get their hands off of each other on the way to the bed.

On the day of Lu Shang’s birthday, they flew to HaiNan island together. Li Sui just couldn’t wait to show him what he had built. Ever since Lu Shang got temporarily blind at the beginning of the year, there was a sense of urgency in Li Sui’s heart. He must hurry up, the same for his growth rate and the completion of this gift.

“You planted all of these?” The two of them had just landed on the island, and even Lu Shang couldn’t hide the surprised look on his face. Lu Shang was staring at the neat and orderly rows of tropical trees along the riverbank.

“Hmn.” Li Sui nodded, “But not all of them have grown out yet. This row here should grow into flowers. The gardener said that the flowers will be white, the petals will turn almost transparent after the rain. When the flowers bloom, I can go get a carpenter to make a canoe. Then, we can look at the flowers while boating, we can also do some fishing on the canoe.”

Lu Shang’s gaze shifted from the trees, looking up at the buildings by the river. Li Sui followed Lu Shang’s eyes and explained, “This island used to house an experimental laboratory. After consulting with several experts, I’ve decided to rebuild it into a sanatorium, it will also be equipped with sophisticated medical equipment. Most of the facilities and equipment were already there, remnants of the laboratory, so it will not cost a lot of money. Also……”

Li Sui glanced at Lu Shang and seemed to be a bit embarrassed, “If you like, we can live here when we retire.”

Hearing that Lu Shang just stared at Li Sui in silence, as if he was looking for something on Li Sui’s face. Li Sui was feeling anxious and asked, “What is it, if you don’t like it, I can change it.”

“Who says I don’t like it?” Lu Shang smiled, and it was obvious that he was delighted, his mouth formed a beautiful curve. Lu Shang pulled Li Sui’s hand forward, leading him closer to the sea, “Accompany for a walk at the shore.”

In the far distance, the sky was so blue that it was as if it had been washed, the seabirds soar through the air, and the waves rushed ashore rhythmically, making loud but pleasant sounds. A hot wind blew on their hair, bringing the smell of seawater to their noses. Li Sui let the person clasping hands with him lead him forward. As soon as he looked up to the sky, the sun’s red light shone through the clouds, landing on the sands beneath his feet, the fine sand shimmered as it reflected the light. At that moment, he unconsciously firmed his grasp on Lu Shang’s hand, as if what he was holding in his hand was the whole world.


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August 27, 2019 2:26 pm

Just lovely!😍 Making love with a direly sick heart patient is a highly risky thing.😳 They should have a danger disclaimer: Don’t try this at home. But fiction is marvelous at times like this.😋 Reading them reconnected is always beautiful.

Thanks again for the chapters!

August 28, 2019 1:44 am

Thank you for getting these chapters out. They are much appreciated.

August 28, 2019 6:04 am

Thanks so much for the updates!

August 28, 2019 6:35 am

Thank you for the chapters! As alweys beautiful and romantic. Lu Shang is soo emotionally strong and I bet his little turtle will cry only at the times like this. I was soo worried about the outcome of this time’s Lu Shang’s health condition, but it turned out OK, ufff.

Well, yeah, dopamine is a great painkiller but for it to affect heart…

Now I just hope that there will be a heart donnor. They so deserve to have a long an healthy lives together.

August 28, 2019 7:34 am

thank you for the update

August 28, 2019 8:03 am

Thank you for the update!

August 28, 2019 6:24 pm

Thank you for the chapters!
Li Sui’s entrance in the previous one was cool.

August 29, 2019 11:06 am

What a sweet & romantic chapter 💕
And yeah.. keep the dopamin coming, you two 🤣🤣

August 29, 2019 10:04 pm

Their love is so beautiful, the best BL novel I’ve read so far… thanks for the translation 🙏🏻

April 5, 2020 10:19 am

Am I the only one who got no clue at all when reading about the explanation from Dr.Rui? T______T

March 18, 2021 8:53 am

“Once a week” ….
“Four times a week” 🤭😆
Thank you ~ what a great chapter.

April 14, 2021 10:38 pm

This is probably one of my faves! It allows me to feel the emotion with all my heart 🤧

May 15, 2022 3:58 am

I will say it again, this novel is fantastic!!!

Official LMW release!

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