Chapter 41: To Guard
Translated by Shiya of Exiled Rebels Scanlations
Under the influence of drugs, Lu Shang slept straight through the night, only waking up the next morning. When he woke up and opened his eyes, he saw morning rays slipping in through the window. At last, his view was no longer limited to complete darkness; he was a little relieved by that. Habitually, he reached for the side of the bed, and no one was there.
Li Sui was absent, there was no temperature in the blanket. It seemed like he didn’t come to bed at all for the whole night.
Lu Shang sat up and found that the furniture beside his bed was gone. For a moment, he thought that his house got a visit from burglars. After some thought, though, he found that unlikely. If it was the handiwork of burglars, they would pry open his safe, but not steal his furniture. So he concluded that his furniture was most likely moved.
Lu Shang changed clothes and went downstairs, he was stunned as soon as he entered the living room.
Overnight, all the tables, chairs, cabinets, walls, and all things slightly sharp were carefully wrapped up in foam paper. While fragile objects, like the turtle tank and glass-made decorations were taken away or placed in high, unreachable places.
If someone entered their house at this time, not knowing anything beforehand, that person would probably think that there were toddlers in the house. Lu Shang stood still, he looked around and felt a slight tremor in his heart. Li Sui stayed up all night yesterday, and this was most likely what he was busy with.
Breakfast was already on the dining table, the food was packed into heat-insulating boxes. Inside was Lu Shang’s favorites: pancakes, boiled eggs, and shrimp porridge. Aunt Lu usually wonāt be so detailed in preparation as to peel the eggshells for him, so todayās breakfast must have been prepared by Li Sui. Lu Shang stood in the living room, his fingers touching the corner of the foam wrapped table. In that instant, his emotions boiled up, he couldnāt even put into words what he was feeling. Sometimes Lu Shang wondered, whether he was the one treating Li Sui like a child or if it was Li Sui who was treating him like a child.
There was a loud noise at the door, Li Sui returned from his morning jog with a towel placed around his neck. When Li Sui saw Lu Shang, he obviously faltered slightly. Li Sui stared straight into Lu Shangās eyes as if he was trying to confirm something.
Lu Shang looked at him with a faint smile, āMorning.ā
Li Suiās face twitched slightly, perhaps because he stayed up late, his eyes looked red and swollen. Lu Shang continued smiling as Li Sui walked right past him, taking medicine out from the drawer. Li Sui placed the medication in front of Lu Shang in silence and went upstairs to take a shower.
The meaning was obvious; Li Sui wanted him to take medicine, but didnāt say a word from beginning to end. Lu Shang looked at Li Suiās back, his smile faded, and he felt his head ached. Initially, Lu Shang thought Li Suiās anger would, at most, last through the night. But to persist overnight? Lu Shang didnāt even consider the possibility of that, he never thought he would miscalculate. Li Sui was furious this time.
Their relationship had always been smooth, but now that one side was deliberately ignoring the other, Lu Shang found it a little overwhelming. He probably used up all his talents on his work, because when it came to coaxing his child, he was nothing but clumsy.
After enduring Li Suiās cold shoulder for the whole day, it was finally Lu Shangās bedtime. Lu Shang was disappointed when he didnāt see Li Sui come into bed with him. Li Sui was deliberately avoiding him by not sleeping with him.
Lu Shang didnāt know what to do, so he decided to get out of bed and look for him. However, his body had not fully recovered yet, whenever night came, he could not see clearly. He spent a long time searching for his spectacles which should be on the bedside cabinet. Instead of getting his glasses, he knocked them off the cabinet by accident, now he was indeed blind. Lu Shang stood by the bed and dared not make any bold movements. He feared crushing his spectacles, so he could only crouch down and wave his palms on the ground feebly.
Before Lu Shang’s palm even made contact with the carpet though, his hand was held by someone else’s. The person tucked at Lu Shangās hand, bringing his body close to him and hugged him tightly in his arms.
āWhat are you doingā¦ā¦ā The one holding him seemed emotional, his chest trembled violently. As if the person was stimulated by the sight of Lu Shang trying to pick up his spectacles. āWhat are you doingā¦ā¦ā The person asked again.
Lu Shang was being hugged so tightly that his arms were in pain. He froze in confusion until he felt the heat and wetness on his shoulder. Then he realized, Li Sui was crying.
As if a giant whale was tossing and turning, creating huge waves and causing painful tremors in Lu Shangās heart. Lu Shang raised his hand and touched Li Suiās head, he opened his mouth and felt that any words were useless. He did not forget, his little turtle never cried. Even when he was viciously beaten by Li Yan, even when he was at deathās door in the protected woodlands, he never shed a single drop of tear.
āIām sorry.ā Lu Shang closed his eyes, patting Li Suiās head as he apologized sincerely.
Li Sui only tightened his arms, as if he could no longer hold it back after enduring through the whole day. Tears tumbled down from Li Sui’s eye sockets non-stop as he rubbed his head against Lu Shangās shoulder.
Lu Shangās heart ached hearing Li Sui sob in grieve. He stretched out his hand and patted Li Sui on the back. He tried comforting him, āIām sorry, I have done you wrong. I was wrong. I promise Iāll let you know immediately if anything happens in the future. Donāt be angry with me anymore, please?ā
āā¦ā¦Iām not angry with you,ā Li Sui said while almost choking. He swallowed down the painfulness stuck in his throat, then grabbing Lu Shangās hand and placing it on his chest, he said, āIām heartbroken.ā
Li Suiās heart under his hand was beating strongly, the sound transmitted to Lu Shang through the skin. Lu Shang felt sourness in his nose, he tried to move Li Sui off his shoulder to touch his face. Li Sui firmly lodged himself on Lu Shangās shoulder and said: āDonāt look.ā
Lu Shang slowed down, he understood Li Suiās wishes of keeping his dignity, so he relaxed and let Li Sui hug him as much as he wanted.
Late at night, the wind blew outside, making the evergreen trees in the front yard shake. Li Suiās sobbing voice which had been burying in Lu Shangās shoulder for quite a while gradually stabilized. Li Sui retreated a little as he remembered that Lu Shang could not stand long. Hence, he carefully placed Lu Shang back on the bed. Then Li Sui took off his clothes and turned the lights off, embracing Lu Shang from behind.
After being anxious for the entire day, Lu Shang was actually very tired, but he did not want to fall asleep just yet. Lu Shang clasped his own hand onto Li Suiās, he continued to hold it, refusing to let go.
Li Sui bent over and kissed Lu Shangās eye, he laid back down, then whispered beside Lu Shangās ear, āLu Shang, I hope you could understand. No matter if you are sick, blind, or even unable to walk. I love all of you, I donāt just love you when you are healthy. I will accompany you for the rest of your life, through aging, sickness, and death. Please donāt block me from your problems, will you?ā
In the darkness, Lu Shangās breathing stopped for a second, he turned over and hugged him, āSillyā¦ā
Ancient people used to say that all gains and losses were long determined by heavens, while sorrow and joy were always a part of life, one must understand heavens and life and be gracious of whatās in front of you. Lu Shang thought that maybe the Gods were right. They took away his healthy heart but blessed him with such a good lover. Perhaps this is what fate was. He never believed in it before, but now he was thankful to the heavens for his life and how lucky he was.
The short two-day break ended soon, Lu Shangās health was still unstable. Li Sui was not confident in letting Lu Shang go to the company, fearing something like before would happen again. Li Sui decided to move all his work back home instead.
The shareholdersā meeting came to an end, no conclusion was reached last time. Li Sui refused to let Lu Shang attend the meeting alone again. He personally worked out a series of meeting procedures and invited the supervisory committee to oversee the meeting.
Perhaps it was because everyone knew that Lu Shang invested in Mu Sheng. When the meeting was held again, the shareholdersā stance changed. Several old shareholders who had been unwilling to sign before sensed the potential profits, so they mostly caved in. Signing one after another on the proposal.
Liu XinTian did not show his dissatisfaction on the surface, but the popped up blue veins on his forehead betrayed him. Knowing that the shares he owned could not change the result of the vote, he too signed the papers in agreement. Just like that, the shareholders’ meeting ended with listing 40% of profits as company reserves.
After most of his work was done, Li Sui pushed all his agenda away, concentrating entirely on taking care of Lu Shang at home. Maybe due to Lu Shangās good mood and adequate rest, ever since the last time, Lu Shangās eyes did not turn temporarily blind. Only occasionally, Lu Shang would fail to see clearly at night, but wearing glasses eased the symptoms. However, when the light outdoors was weak, it was still difficult for Lu Shang to see.
Li Sui hardly interfered with what Lu Shang did, but his watchful eyes never left Lu Shang. Whenever Lu Shang encountered uneven grounds or obstacles, Li Sui would never fail to give him warnings. Sometimes, Li Sui would silently follow behind him when necessary.
After the New Year, the weather became warmer and warmer. Li Sui was relieved, winter was a trial for Lu Shang, the cold weather always hindered the blood flow to his limbs. When it got warmer, however, the situation would be much better.
On the eve of the Qing Ming festival, Li Sui took Lu Shang to the hospital for a check-up. After going through the report, Dr. Leung did not jump up in anger like he usually would; instead he showed a little satisfaction.
āNot bad. If this keeps up. The dosage of medicine next year could be reduced.ā He flipped through the report again as he touched his chin, āThis is amazing. I thought he wouldnāt even be alive this year. It seems that the connection between dopamine and the heart is bigger than I imagined.ā
āDopamine?ā
Leung ZiRui laughed mysteriously and explained, āThe human brain secretes a magical substance when people engage in sexual thoughts, its secretion will increase. In the medical field, it is considered to facilitate myocardial contractions, dilation of blood vessels, and is a cardiac tonic.ā
Li Sui listened in amazement, āSo, you are saying that by engaging in⦠with him⦠Well, I mean, are you saying me being with him is a good thing for Lu Shangās health?ā
āOf course,ā Leung ZiRui joked, āThe body wonāt lie. From the results, Iām guessing that his brain had secreted a lot of dopamine for you in recent years.ā
Li Sui was for some reason embarrassed, he continued listening to Leung ZiRui mutter, āSuch a waste, this is a fascinating case study. If only my teacher was there.ā
āYour teacher is studying this?ā
Leung ZiRui gave a soft āHmnā as a reply. He didnāt even raise his head and continued on, āHis name is Leon, heās a Swiss. Heās one of the worldās top cardiologists. All of the heart operations he took up were complicated cases. Unfortunately, he has a bad habit, he likes smoking marijuana, even when he was at school. Eventually, when he got reported, the school dismissed him. After that, he ran all over the world, and no one knew what he was doing during that time. I had found and asked him to help analyze Lu Shangās case once, but he refused and went to the mountains for some research. I had not seen him after that for a long time.ā
After listening to Leung ZiRui, Li Sui found it regrettable, that such a person existed but could not help Lu Shangās case, āIs he difficult to find?ā
āHeās a complete addict with a strange temper, do you think he sounds difficult to find?ā Leung ZiRui sorted out the report and pulled out Lu Shangās medical records from the desk drawer beside him, āTell me about his usual diet and rest hours.ā
Li Sui was all too familiar with these questions, so without even trying to think back, he answered Leung ZiRuiās questions one by one.
Leung ZiRui lowered his head and recorded everything in Lu Shangās medical record, āAnd the frequency of bedroom affairs.ā
āOnce a week.ā
Leung ZiRui looked up and said, āFalse reports will hinder my diagnosis and treatment.ā
Li Sui said after a bit, āā¦ā¦Four times a week.ā
Leung ZiRui snapped the binder shut loudly, āI remember telling you twice a week at most.ā
Lu Shang just happened to open the door in and walked in as Leung ZiRui was scolding Li Sui. Lu Shang interrupted, āWhen did you start meddling in even this sort of thing?ā
āItās for your own good,ā Leung ZiRui barked. āIf you insist on being reckless, then be prepared to just die in bed one day, donāt say I didnāt warn you!ā
āOh?ā Lu Shangās eyes lit up, āDying in bed? That sounds good. Itās much cooler than dying in a hospital bed.ā
After that, Lu Shang took Li Suiās hand and smiled tilting his head, āLetās go back and try, shall we?ā
āYouā¦ā¦ā Leung ZiRui knew he couldnāt do anything about Lu Shang, so he turned his head to Li Sui and vent his anger on him instead. āHeās a reckless fool, but you should know better, donāt you think?ā
Li Suiās expression was complicated. Looking at Lu Shang, who was pretending to be an asshole. Li Sui thought in agony, of course, he wanted to restrain himself, but he couldnāt really help it.
In the evening, the two of them took a bath together in the bathtub. Li Sui gave Lu Shangās hair a gentle and careful rub with shampoo.
Lu Shang noticed that Li Sui had something on his mind and asked, āWhatās wrong?ā
Li Sui spread the shampoo evenly on his hair and said slowly, āI was thinking, Dr. Leung was right.ā
Lu Shang disagreed, āYou donāt have to care about what he said. My father still died at the hands of his father.ā
Li Sui froze, Lu Shang probably realized that his remark was demeaning as well, so he added, āWell, I mean as a heart patient, my father was able to live past 50 years old. That was already a lot longer than expectations, I probably wonāt be that lucky though.ā
When Li Sui heard that the motion of his hands slowed down as he said earnestly, āDo you remember after you finalized the Golden Sands Shore project proposal, you said you would reward me? You still owe me a request, right?ā
Lu Shang looked at him and signaled him to continue with his eyes.
āNow, I ask you to promise me. Promise me that you will live healthily. Iām not going to say letās reach a hundred years old together, but at least hold out until neither of us can walk. Then we can leave this world together.ā
Lu Shang smiled softly, āItās too boring and long if neither of us can walk. I will try to live until we canāt have sex, okay?ā
Li Sui was amused, he washed the bubbles off his hands and put body wash on Lu Shang. The two of them were in very close proximity to each other, so it was easy for them to feel the slight changes in their bodies. As they bathed, Li Sui couldnāt stop himself from lifting Lu Shangās chin, leaning in and gave his lips a few light pecks. After their lips parted, they stared into each otherās eyes, both seemed a lit up by the kissing.
Lu Shang separated his legs and sat on Li Suiās lap, embracing each other as they shared numerous kisses, it took them a while to part. Li Sui reached his hand out for the lubricant, sliding his fingers in and expanding Lu Shangās behind. The atmosphere was pleasant, and Li Sui just couldnāt help himself. After entering smoothly, Li Sui bent his legs up slightly and pushed a few times upwards.
The two men got into the mood quickly. Being caressed in front and on the back at the same time, Lu Shang seemed to be enjoying it so much that his toes were curling up. Li Sui increased the strength of his hand on Lu Shangās hard erection, making him cum. After that, Lu Shang leaned onto Li Suiās chest and breathed lightly in exhaustion.
Li Sui kissed him one more time, then pulled his manhood out and dealt with the bulging mass by himself. Li Sui washed both of them clean with the shower nozzle, then got to the bed to blow their hair, neither of them could get their hands off of each other on the way to the bed.
On the day of Lu Shangās birthday, they flew to HaiNan island together. Li Sui just couldnāt wait to show him what he had built. Ever since Lu Shang got temporarily blind at the beginning of the year, there was a sense of urgency in Li Suiās heart. He must hurry up, the same for his growth rate and the completion of this gift.
āYou planted all of these?ā The two of them had just landed on the island, and even Lu Shang couldnāt hide the surprised look on his face. Lu Shang was staring at the neat and orderly rows of tropical trees along the riverbank.
āHmn.ā Li Sui nodded, āBut not all of them have grown out yet. This row here should grow into flowers. The gardener said that the flowers will be white, the petals will turn almost transparent after the rain. When the flowers bloom, I can go get a carpenter to make a canoe. Then, we can look at the flowers while boating, we can also do some fishing on the canoe.ā
Lu Shangās gaze shifted from the trees, looking up at the buildings by the river. Li Sui followed Lu Shangās eyes and explained, āThis island used to house an experimental laboratory. After consulting with several experts, Iāve decided to rebuild it into a sanatorium, it will also be equipped with sophisticated medical equipment. Most of the facilities and equipment were already there, remnants of the laboratory, so it will not cost a lot of money. Alsoā¦ā¦ā
Li Sui glanced at Lu Shang and seemed to be a bit embarrassed, āIf you like, we can live here when we retire.ā
Hearing that Lu Shang just stared at Li Sui in silence, as if he was looking for something on Li Suiās face. Li Sui was feeling anxious and asked, āWhat is it, if you donāt like it, I can change it.ā
āWho says I donāt like it?ā Lu Shang smiled, and it was obvious that he was delighted, his mouth formed a beautiful curve. Lu Shang pulled Li Suiās hand forward, leading him closer to the sea, āAccompany for a walk at the shore.ā
In the far distance, the sky was so blue that it was as if it had been washed, the seabirds soar through the air, and the waves rushed ashore rhythmically, making loud but pleasant sounds. A hot wind blew on their hair, bringing the smell of seawater to their noses. Li Sui let the person clasping hands with him lead him forward. As soon as he looked up to the sky, the sunās red light shone through the clouds, landing on the sands beneath his feet, the fine sand shimmered as it reflected the light. At that moment, he unconsciously firmed his grasp on Lu Shangās hand, as if what he was holding in his hand was the whole world.

Just lovely!š Making love with a direly sick heart patient is a highly risky thing.š³ They should have a danger disclaimer: Don’t try this at home. But fiction is marvelous at times like this.š Reading them reconnected is always beautiful.
Thanks again for the chapters!
Thank you for getting these chapters out. They are much appreciated.
Thanks so much for the updates!
Thank you for the chapters! As alweys beautiful and romantic. Lu Shang is soo emotionally strong and I bet his little turtle will cry only at the times like this. I was soo worried about the outcome of this time’s Lu Shang’s health condition, but it turned out OK, ufff.
Well, yeah, dopamine is a great painkiller but for it to affect heartā¦
Now I just hope that there will be a heart donnor. They so deserve to have a long an healthy lives together.
thank you for the update
Thank you for the update!
Thank you for the chapters!
Li Sui’s entrance in the previous one was cool.
What a sweet & romantic chapter š
And yeah.. keep the dopamin coming, you two š¤£š¤£
Their love is so beautiful, the best BL novel Iāve read so far… thanks for the translation šš»
Am I the only one who got no clue at all when reading about the explanation from Dr.Rui? T______T
“Once a week” ….
“Four times a week” š¤š
Thank you ~ what a great chapter.
This is probably one of my faves! It allows me to feel the emotion with all my heart š¤§
I will say it again, this novel is fantastic!!!